Van Gorn

Since exoplanets are all the rage these days (more to come), then let's follow what I consider a logical conclusion: That life is fairly common out there, and some small percentage of it is smart. Smart enough for clothes, for art. And given that the same physical laws apply everywhere, then planets of similar size and distance from their star, with similar chemical composition, with water, etc, will likely evolve fairly common lifeforms as here on Earth - they'll eat, reproduce, try and maximize resources, and die. Certain mechanical designs will play out in completely independent environments - how alien would alien ocean life forms look, for example? There's only so many ways to swim, or navigate on land. Maybe they have 4 arms instead of two, or tentacles instead of hands, but I don't think the differences will be that extreme - like, for counter example, a life form made of energy, or gas, or some kind of ooze, etc.

And thus, to conclude: The Gorn. Reptile-like alien lifeforms. And why not? Way back when, a smart alien lizard learns to really exploit a niche, swells in numbers, evolutionary pressures produce ever refined hunting techniques leading to tools, to fire, to technology in all its forms. There's nothing at all which says one life form or another could not become dominant in a given environment. For example, perhaps ocean worlds have super intelligent dolphin like aliens. Who knows!

The sky is literally the limit - and by sky, I mean everything.


Atlas Cerise said...

I went to the holodeck

To have myself a party

But my plans were overthrown

By fuckin' Moriarty.


He'd removed my holo-babes

And left me there, forlorn

The program of my fantasies

Replaced with hardcore Gorn.

Joey Polanski said...

The Gorn, who aspired to The Louvre,

Did not see his painting improve.

Extremely depressed,

He then did his best

To locate an ear to remove.

Redshirt said...

You guys rock! Love your blog. Poetry and humor have to go hand in hand, otherwise it quickly turns to trite rubbish.

And Gorn Porn! Yes.

Joey Polanski said...

Right you are, Redshirt!  We reach!

There's an interesting way -- a VERY interesting way, I think -- in which carefully crafted rhythm and proper rhyme can enhance humorous content.  And fine versification without any kind of gag seems rather to be like a box of Cracker Jack without a prize inside -- appreciable, but somehow unsatisfying.

So, for us at Atlanski, versification has always been merely a means.  The desired end has ALWAYS been HUMOR.

In fact, just a little over a week ago, I expressed this very idea in a poemski.

And, be assured, when Atlas and I stumbled on your blog last night -- I found you by surfing Blogger profiles of folks who list Philosophy (or Flossifie, as we like to call it) among their interests -- we were both instantly amazed at having found a blogger who seems to realize how desperately the blogosphere needs stuff that is reliably interesting and uniquely and stylishly offbeat.  We both laughed heartily at your profile page itself -- the pic, the monicker, the famous pop-culture reference -- but we really weren't expecting to find the blog itself to be so ... FUN!

Keep doin' what you're doin'!  We got our eyes on ya -- and we hope to see ya 'round the Atlanski stage!

Redshirt said...

I am digging everything your saying. I did the serious poetry thing for years, but grew disgusted with it all - can one be too pretentious for yourself? Yes! And so I gave it up after an epic reading (bikini's, painting, theramins, the works). But you guys are re-inspiring me - humor (and all that contributes to humor, which can be anything and everything) is a worthy end to any art, and surely poetry needs it more than most.

I'll be following y'all from now on. Let's bring it.

Thanks for the kind words.

Joey Polanski said...



Kindred spirit, my friend!

There's no way in the world I would try to butt a rhyme up against a rhythm unless I thought I could provoke a laugh.

And, yeah, I had my own period of doing the "hoity toity" (though not with respect to poetry); and find that FUNNY is a much more "objective" standard that is "lofty" or "significant" or "important" or whatever.

So I'll be the first to admit it ... If I'm anything, I'm a CLOWN.  And if the form of a Shakespearean sonnet will help me to be THAT, then I'll learn how to write a friggin' Shakespearean sonnet!  What other reason could there be to do THAT?

Yeah, brother -- or sister (I really don't know) -- we REACH!  Atlas and I have been bloggin for over 5 years now (and we only met as bloggers), and we've been WONDERING if we'd ever meet a blogger who really "got it."  We've not found much in the blogosphere before we found YOU.

By the way, in case you're interested, there's a raunchy annual poetry thing that he & I sorta started at another creative blogger's blog.  Its supposed to take place every January 1, but this years it's been postponed till ... NOW.  No need to feel OBLIGATED or anything; but as one of the CO-FOUNDERS of the event, I cordially invite ya to try your hand.

HERE is the explanation; and HERE is where the ACTION is!

Redshirt said...

Kindred spirits indeed. I am psyched you guys found me.

Regarding Rasputin's Penis: How long do I have? Amusingly, I'm traveling on business and will be off line for the next 3 days. I will ponder the topic deeply during that time.

I also love your acceptance and embrace of the roll of CLOWN. I know exactly what you mean, and agree entirely.

Joey Polanski said...

Ah, there's no telling how long the Rasputin contest will be left open. It's usually a New Year's Day thing and, at it's height, tended to last about four days. Last year, it was much shorter; and this year, having been postponed till now, I suspect there will be a bit less enthusiasm overall -- which I'm guessing could cause "The Reverend Anaglyph" to close the contest rather quickly.

But not to worry ... Fun and games are year-round things for us at Atlanski.