Memories of Berlin

Berlin, July 2008. Good times - remember? Hope was what you felt then - for Change! Now you probably feel some variant of weary. But fret not! Change is on the way.
With our help, Barack Obama will be re-elected next week, and America will have 4 more years to try and recover from the Republican poisoning. We'll need a better Congress though, so get out and vote!
Get excited! It's important work we do here - literally, saving the world. The stakes are that high. Good versus evil stuff. Oh yeah, and babes. Liberals have the better babes. And these days for sure, crowds.
An estimated 240,000 Berliners came out to see then Senator Barack Obama speak. Hundreds of thousands more in cities across Europe. He also went to Iraq and Afghanistan. Compare that to Mitt Romney's trip to Europe this past Summer, which was a hilarious tour de farce, lurching from one mistake to another. I don't recall any crowds, either. Private fundraisers ($$$) only. It's a joke that there's any kind of competition between these two candidates. But that's the reality when a solid 40% of Americans would vote for a rock as long as it had an (R) next to it's name. Propaganda's a hell of a thing.


Kenyan Communists

I find myself in an odd place, politically (among many other areas). I'd like to think of myself as "Conservative", as in, "To Conserve". This would be the earth, money, resources, pain, etc. However, the so called "Conservative" party in America today is anything but. The Republicans are hardcore radicals bent on destroying this country. In order to save it, they'd tell you in a moment of candor.

Thus, I vote Democrat, for the sole reason that they are the only thing standing in the way of Republican rule and utter destruction for us all.

We've all heard the shit they've flung at Obama. It's neverending. Hate peddlers, fear junkies, moral toads need not rule us, people! Let go of your hate, and vote against these people everywhere and at all times and on all lines of the ballot. The Republican party and its philosophies must be destroyed - literally, for the safety of everyone on the planet.

Is that dire enough? Stark enough choice? Vote - against Republicans.


Tagg, you're it

That's Tagg Romney on the lower left, who said after the second debate (in regards the paraphrased question "how did you like your Dad getting his ass kicked?"):
Jump out of your seat and you want to rush down to the debate stage and take a swing at him.
The picture is after the 3rd debate, in which Barack Obama also kicked Mitt Romney's ass.

Can you guess the whisper? I bet it's conciliatory. Obama is a far better man than you or I. He's remarkable, amazing. Michelle also too, though not so conciliatory. Look at that smirk!

And then there's the Romneys to the right. Smug as fuck.

That this election appears to have tightened mightily solely over the first debate (Which I thought Romney did win but Obama did fine) is totally unexplainable to me. How? Why? WTF? And so all the polls are now tightened, and worry spreads across the reality based community.

But don't worry. GOTV. Make calls. Give money. Vote. Do something - together we are far more powerful than rich pricks like Romney, et al.

Go Obama!
Vote Obama, and all Democrats. Or, in other words, never vote Republican.


Iz teh Prezident LOL

Is true. Not sure what kind of vote movement the Prez got through such an act, but it can't hurt. Not like the Repukes could make anything of it, being retarded.


Not an Obama Photobomb

No, it's a real photo with funny internet text typed over upon. Such is the Internet's fancy, for now. However, I'd point out this is a real kid with a real President and that has to be kinda awesome, though the kid probably doesn't know except for all the lights and commotion. Kids rule.


Droppin' Pbombs

Photobomb. Invented by Michael Cera? The animal version was made popular, I think, with this beauty:
A wonderful accidental photo. And that's the thing - since the history of photography, there's no doubt been many incidents of funny pop ups and photo crashers. But before the internet, who would you share them with, other than immediate family/friends? And since there was no way to copy that hilarious photo of Great Grandad Lancel on his Olde Tymey bike with a young urchin poking his grimy head into the bottom of the scene, the laughs stayed close to home.

But now! We live as connected in a large web of nets, each attached to the other and messages transmitting web wide in milliseconds. All our thoughts and feelings there to be shared. Also too, our accidental animal photobomb photos.
Kazakhstani Astro Squirrel certifying GO for launch.

Also, I'm not sure what the hell that horse was thinking. Or if that cow is not in fact a photoshop. The Web Net is a tricky thing.


Seals out of place

Seal's like, "WTF?!" Kinda sad but also uplifting story of a zoo that flooded this Summer in Minnesota. Read about it here. This seal was found a couple of blocks away from the zoo. How messed up is that, for the seal? Going from a water world to the cold hard, wet streets? Damn. Be advised, freak events like this (10+ inches of rain in short order) will become more and more common as our world climate gets ever warmer. But hey! It's sunny today! Why worry about LIBERAL LIES?
Republican crasher seal sayz "DRILL HERE, DRILL NOW!"


Dog Mermaids

It's true - think about it. If a mermaid is top half human, bottom half fish, than a seal pretty much fits the definition of dog mermaid. I'm sure dogs have many myths related to the sexy sirens of the sea who bark out at them on the shore, luring them to their DOOM.

Also, Chris Columbus saw some mermaids on his illustrious voyage, but reported they weren't as pretty as he was taught. Consensus was he saw some manatees, and no one could say they are sexy in any way. Except maybe to other manatees.


How to: Owl Art

As you can see, it's quite simple. Most people can't draw detailed, beautiful owls because they don't start with the circles. Pre-circles are the key to all realistic portrayals of owls in ink or paint. Or so I've heard on the Internet.
How to make an IKEA owl. Only 3 tools needed! Setup time in minutes (thousands of them)!


Family is what you make it

Or, longer.

This appears to be an adult cat suckling or pseudo-suckling three Ryan Goslings (he's a thing, right? Mary Hartman help me!).

Proving that the mother instinct overrides the predator instinct. Which makes sense - the mother instinct comes from the oldest mammal relative. It's one of the mammalian defining features. Whereas predation is a general skill practiced by all higher level species regardless of families - the strong feed on the week.

Thus, one of the defining features of mammalian behavior is caring for the young, and not just necessarily your young. The root of compassion.
Birds exhibit many similar behaviors to mammals in the loving scale, but I suspect they're faking them all. As they all are monsters, down to the cutest of them. Don't trust birds, man.

This owl, for example, is just biding time before wrecking that gosling's life - not just by killing, but a long slow, torturous psychological undoing. Then killing. Owl's are twisted.

Geese Jam

I've actually been stuck in a goose related traffic jam. It was as frustrating as any other traffic jam - stupid fucking geese! Get out of the road you stupid fucks! I mean, ducks.
Best friends forever! Or at least for the next 2-4 weeks.


Cities from scratch

Some random "new" city in Western China, I have no idea which one actually - any help? New cities sprout like mushrooms in China today, due to, what else, money. China makes everything, and thus, everyone gives them money. I've visited Shenzhen several times, and was constantly amazed - what was a low-slung fishing village but 30 years ago is now a gleaming metropolis who's skyline resembles New York from certain angles. And that's happening all over China.

Lesson? Don't outsource your manufacturing base, assholes! Also too, congrats, China.


Redneck spits on hippies or hippy accident? Who's to know. Just another fan photo.


Tunnel of Love (and Bones)

The nest of the male Great Browerbird, found in Northern Australia/nearby islands. I dare say this is the most elaborate of all birds nests, though there are others worth consideration. Note the use of color and most critically, perspective - they pile up more items further away from the entrance to the next to give the illusion of greater size.
What we do for love! The male of the species spends most of the time not eating/sleeping working on his nest. There's even some mild form of training that occurs when young males will watch/assist an older male with his nest. And all for the ladies, of course. She'll come by, inspect it, and if it meets her standards, SEXY-TIME. Otherwise, she flies off to inspect other nests, and the loser bird gets to work trying again.

You see this behavior in almost all creatures that reproduce sexually - display. Competition. Seemingly over the top behaviors. It's hardwired into us, and is one of the means that evolution works its way through our various populations.

I note for consideration that it seems to me it's the males of almost every species that engages in these elaborate courtship behaviors, or even more, biological displays - consider the peacock. Whereas the females of most every species are drab and/or uninterested in any courtship displays. Except in humans. Sure, males of the species must acquire money in order to acquire a rocking Camaro in order to obtain a mate, but the females of the species go to equally great lengths in order to woo a mate - think of plucking eyebrows. Perhaps greater lengths - witness the cliched sitcom couple of the fat loser man with the plucky, hot wife.

What gives, humanity?


Tunnel of DOOM

An ice tunnel under a glacier in Greenland. Beautiful, but it presages a looming disaster. These tunnels form from meltwater, and quite efficiently drain water from the glacier. This also causes the glacier to slide far faster than normal, sliding towards the sea. The disaster scenario is as such: When enough fresh water pours into the North Atlantic, it subsumes the Gulf Stream, breaking the current. This ocean current is a major contributor to the weather of the Northern Hemisphere. It's loss would cause worldwide weather to go crazy for many, many years. Ice ages, massive floods, crushing droughts, monster hurricanes, tidal waves, tornadoes everywhere. Many, many people will die.

This is a possibility. And yet we do little to prevent it, hostage as we all are to insane Republicans. Who worry not, as they'll no doubt blame Liberals when the shit hits the fan anyway.



He Smoked A Lot

For many years, too many years, I used to joke: I should take up a 5 pack a day smoking habit, and then get fired from my job since I was always smoking, then sue my former employer for discrimination because I was forced to smoke away from work, and thus got nothing done. Not my fault! I am a smoker yet you do not allow me to smoke at my desk! And then, when I died of some cancer related illness, rich, my tombstone would read: Here lies Redshirt - He Smoked A Lot.

I no longer make such japes, as smoking is truly not funny. Disgusting, rather. But this bloke clearly has similar ideas to young Redshirt - how much can I smoke? I trust this is for some stupid word record or such. MOST CIGARETTES!

I quit those evil things months ago. Look at me, all high and mighty and no longer chained to a poisonous gas. I realized I'd rather delay my death, and toast the days instead.

Here's to you, skull in the upper corner. I'm sure your life long ago was awesome and so very important.


The Eternal Flame

The Zoroastrians bequeathed us many gifts, and damnations. Good v. Evil the chief among them in all regards. Before Zoroaster, everything was a more mellow shade of grey.
Here it is - a fire that has burned for over 4K years. Think of it - well before Jesus, Confucius, Buddha and L. Ron Hubbard - men have maintained this flame in the name of a God.
Word - Spring Break at the Eternal Flame.
Trip your mind in the flickering flames, yo.
Thousands and thousands of years old. Think of it - before writing existed, this flame burned...
In a sweet piece of real estate, of course.


Every Day is Captain Picard Day

You'll recall one of the few episodes of TNG that followed up on a previous episode. Picard chilling at the family vineyards after Borgification and then de-Borgification. Which should have put Jean-Luc on the sidelines/prison, instead of commanding.
Patrick Stewart with the Eternal Olympic Flame. Except it's not that eternal, not compared to the Zoroastrians. They've kept a fire going for some 4K years now, which is Hella cool.

Trek Robe and Kicks

I've never really worn a bathrobe, except for brief larks at the fancy hotel but I quickly put it back, considering all the warnings on the coat hangers.

They seem awesome. I'm reminded now of The Dude and how comfortable he seemed in a bathrobe. But how much more awesome would it be in a Federation Bathrobe? An infinite amount, that's how much.
Both robes available at ThinkGeek. I'd be careful with the Red Robe, however. You're just begging for trouble.
I assume once you take the bathrobe off for the day - is it a weekday article of clothing? Or weekends only? You need some logical kicks. Why not Fed it up? Man.
Command colors, the kind of color that says "Hey, you, green alien babe, what are you doing tonight?"


Starship Design

Know what time it is? Bird of Prey past Cardassian Galor. Sweet freaking clock!
A ship for any situation.
I don't really drink Bloodwine, but by Kahless I would with such a corkscrew.
There appears to be FOUR LIGHTS.
Now that's some quality craftsmanship. Engage your beverage here, boldly!


Gifts for the Gastro Nerd

Nerds love pizza - it's a scientific fact. And what better way to cut a pie than with the USS Enterprise? Beautiful and functional!
Studies have shown using the USS Enterprise baby spoon increases feeding efficiency by 57%, which makes it the only logical gift! The bib is made of futuristic teFlonia Repell_All, and features a sweet drawing of a Klingon ship approaching a Federation space station. Exciting! And awesome.
What Hipster nerd wouldn't want to "cook like Neelix"? Imagine the stories you'll have gathering the different ingredients?! Kazlockian Rock Larvae from the Planet V'Argas 6? Can you out spacespice your friends? Buy now, and find out!


Already Assimilated

A map showing McDonald's locations across the Contiguous 48. As you can see, they're everywhere, so much so that the small gaps jump out in contrast. National Parks, barren wastelands, roadless stretches of nature. For now - just you wait, Adirondack Park! Mickey D's will find you, eventually.

Now, like most everyone, I used to go to McDonald's all the time. As a kid it was a huuuuge treat. Not only for the burgers, fries and shakes, but oh yes, the once awesome Happy Meals:
Mint condition - part of some huge Trek nerd's collectible hoard. Marvel at the detail, the quality craftsmanship. I've seen today's Happy Meals, and like most everything else in our society, they've been cheapened and dumbed down. Profit margins, dawg.



From the "Holier than Thou" file: I have not eaten at a McDonald's in approximately 16 years. Vegetarian, you see. However, I have gone into McDonald's to use the bathroom on trips, and I can vouch for the "don't have to get dressed up" claim. Functioning, hoseable mumus seems sufficient these days. At a minimum.

But look at these folk's style! That's not dressing up? That's a casual look? Damn, I miss the 70's, when even dressing down was stylish.