RIP (OH YEAH!)

Randy "The Macho Man" Savage died this past 5/20 due to a heart attack while driving. I had the opportunity to post an elegy that day - since as an old, long ago wrestling fan, I knew of some of the Macho Man's wrasslin' deeds, but I knew him more through the pop culture adoption of some of his memes. His catch phrase and sponsorship of that beef jerky product - you know the one - spread his persona into the common culture where it became, "a thing". A small thing, to be sure, but a thing none the less. I myself did a Macho Man impression from 1995 - 1999. OOH YEAH! Which is really just stealing Kool Aid Guy's line. Remember him?

(Tangent: What's up with Kool Aid Guy? I mean, he's naked, right? And has poured "himself" into a mini pitcher - which he then serves to children. Is the small pitcher Kool Aid Guy's child? Is the beverage itself their blood? And what's with the ice cubes? How do they always stay frozen? I could go on....)

But that's pop culture for you.

Macho Man has lived and spread on the Interweb like most absurd things, and you'll see his trademark costume at the occasional Halloween party or Comic-Con. Why? Why not - it's fun!

And fun is what Macho Man brought, and this World needs fun, Danny.

Oh yeah - I could have posted this on 5/20, and I strongly considered it, but it got bumped by that day's big news on the Redshirt Gazette - the funtimes 5/21 Notpocalypse. Remember that?

Naw, me neither. Oh well...

The Way I Feel

Nimoy.

 Shatner.

 Nimoy and Shatner. And I know how I'm supposed to vote - I assume you think you know who might win this epic battle of the hearts?

Nimoy. In many ways - blasphemy though I know it is to even think it - Nimoy has had the more interesting post Trek career. Though he clearly hasn't given that up either. I suspect he's been forced by it into a role of Alien Gandhi - form dictating function. Beware of what you create!

Fireworks are simulated war, and war is death

Pop quiz, hot shot: Where in the world was this photo taken?


BZZT! London. The London Eye, in fact, during a recent New Years celebration. Quite spectacular, for stuffy olde England!

As pretty as fireworks can be, never lose sight of what they represent: War. A simulation of war, and simulations are almost always steps in the right direction - better to shoot off a bottle rocket than a mortar, eh?

But there's no good lesson here - no one learns anything about the horrors of war from a fireworks celebration, except occasionally for a burned fireworks technician. So, more work to be done!

Also, fireworks - that is, DRAMA! CONFLICT! CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! is really the defining aspect of our reality. Without conflict, and the inevitable destruction that results, not much of anything would happen, ever. All would be balanced.

But with imbalances, pressures build up on one side and then demands an outlet. BOOM! Big excitement. And thus, the real benefits of fireworks, and other Breads and Circuses: Pressure releases.

Pimpin' is actually fairly easy, thanks for asking

If you lack or have learned to lose a certain sense of shame, pimpin' is certainly easy. Here's an expert:

Mike Damone: I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.
Mark Ratner: Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.
Mike Damone: That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude.
Mark Ratner: The attitude?
Mike Damone: Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude. 

 Clearly, Riker's got the attitude, the moves. Or should I say, had:

ComiCon represent!

Drama Rule 34.1B

34.1: Torn Shirt = Drama!
34.1B: Torn Red Shirt = Even More Drama (since you know this person will be dying any moment now)!

The End

Ends are the best, or, at least, can be the best - they are often botched. But there's nothing better than a great end. Second best would be beginnings. Middles are always predictable.

Answers

I spend waaaaay too much time on the Intertubey webs reading about Lost. At this point, I could get a damn PhD in the subject. Regardless, there is a great hue and cry coming up from the Internet these past few weeks which can be summarized as such: "I WANT MY ANSWERS!"

I sympathize, but do not agree. 1. There have been plenty of answers. Tons - fer instance, the polar bears have been completely explained. As seen above, this is a polar bear collar from the Hydra station, found by Charlotte in the desert of Tunisia - which indicates that a polar bear turned the Donkey Wheel. And thus, we have the explanation of why there were polar bears on the island - to test the Wheel.

This is true of many other mysteries as well - for instance, we have received answers covering most of the questions regarding the Others - we know why and how they were formed, what the structure was like, their motivation, and an explanation for their most recent actions.

That said, I am a firm believer in the "Always leave 'em wanting more" school of entertainment, and especially so when it comes to mystery stories, which Lost certainly is.

And there is a powerful meta-arguement here: In life, do you get all the answers? I would say, "most definitely not"; why should a great story be any different?


Finally, check out these great selections of Lost art, one example here:

 Awesome.

Requiem for a Smoke Monster

The last episode of Lost, ever, airs Sunday, May 23rd, which at this point - almost Mayday - is like, 3 weeks away.  They've got a lot of questions to answer, certainly - like, exactly what is the Smoke Monster? Why are there chain sounds when it moves? Etc - but there's not much time left to answer much of anything, really. 2 hour episodes, than a 2 hour finale. At this point, however, I'm not looking for answers so much as I am the mindfuck - the brutal twist that shocks the narrative and thereby, the viewer. Great example of this of course was the Season 1 finale - WAAALT! 


So, keep the mysteries coming, Lost. Every great artist knows the secret, which I here reveal: Always leave 'em wanting more.

Boone Hill

I encourage all you hardcore Losties - or if you are feeling as if you could be a hardcore Lostie (and there has to be a better name than that [don't ask me though, I'm terrible with names]) - to rewatch Season 1 now, or very soon, or at least commit to finishing it before 5/23. For firsts, it's awesome, but so different than the last 3-5 seasons; seconds, you'll see how this season is closely paralleling the first season, except of course our characters have been dramatically changed.

The fractured and jumpy nature of time on the show has a strange effect on the viewer - if you watch along in real time, the show has gone on for years and in sooth, the last three seasons have taken up only a month or so in real time. Consider, it was but a few weeks ago from Jack's perspective that he was standing on a bridge, all pilled up, ready to end it all. That's gotta weigh on a character, yet for we, the viewers, it's been years, and Crazy Beard wearing Jack is long in the past.

But if you were to watch Lost in marathon fashion, as many people do, the show would have a quite different effect as you finished one season after another in a matter of days/couple weeks. The impact is closer to the characters actual experience of the passing of time.

But then, there'd be no time for off the wall theories or "general mystery pondering" which, one might argue, is the main enjoyment of a mystery story - speculation, guessing, getting the viewer/reader to play along.

So let us enjoy this mystery while we can, for soon it will be gone, never, ever to return.