Presidents meet Rock Stars

The gold standard, of course. But there's so many more!

It's Jerry Ford with George Harrison and the dude with the best afro in history!

From the pilot episode of "Hangin' with the Prez!", Willie Nelson and Gang meet up with President Jimmy Carter to put an end to littering! Also, many years later at the reunion show:

President Carter busts out his lucky harmonica and they jam out like olden times. Good times, before the dark times. Before, Michael.

MJ hears the babbled requests of President and First Lady Reagan - they're olds, you see, and don't get what MJ is all about. They were ordered to appease His Royal Gloved One. Cuz Michael owned the 80's. This is a Pete Souza, by the by, who takes most of the cool shots you see of Obama over the past 4.5 years.

Nah gonna do'it. Wouldn't be prudent. Bush Sr. met no cool rock stars, by the way, cuz he was a big wimp.

Pearl Jam and Big Dog. You know shit went down after this photo - grunged out mosh pit right there in the Oval Office.  Awesome!

W., like all Republicans, was still in thrall to MJ, even after he turned into a scary crow monster. K.I.S.S.I.N.G.

So cool.

Prodigal, Yo

The good son, visiting his ill Mother. Sweet, right? Or is this but step in "stealing Mom blind" scam? No way, right? No son would ever steal from his sick Mother?

No man would grow an actual rat tail, right? Wrong!

Truth in advertising, for sure. I once again throw out for the enterprising entrepreneur: Laser tattoo removal. Massive bucks to be had.

Ink on face

America, the mug shot. God bless these United States!

I also posit face tattoos are the last taboo to be broken when it comes to ink on skin - which, remarkably, in the last 20 years, has gone from verboten for polite society to something even Mom does (butterfly on the ankle). What happened? Oh yeah... Republicans.

This is actually the Jester look from yore. Fetching! Also, king me.

Totally expressing his individuality. Do you doubt it? He's an individual!

Not as individual as this guy though - complete individual. Appears to have his third eye open too, which is so cool. Could also hang many notes and mementos from his face.

Seriously, what would drive someone to do such things? Let me answer my own question: Falling in with a crowd that thinks facial art is cool, and a person without a firm sense of self.

And what of it? It's a big world, and is made fuller by people pushing boundaries. Also too - what are you looking at?

Those Clowns in Congress

Literally. Also totally! Convened to congress all matters clown.

Oddly, perhaps, I find Guatemalan clowns decidedly less terrifying than American clowns. The happy, go lucky nature of these clowns makes me think American clowns are intentionally trying to be scary. And EXTREME.

I mean, to quote Reverend Wright, "God Damn America!" What's wrong with us?


(Republicans)

Juggalosity

A Juggalo with a Pop Tart. Some kind of exotic Pop Tart by the looks of it. Why? Cuz of the Internet. When or where else would such pointless folly even been conceivable? Odd times we dwell within, and they're only gonna get weirder.

A Juggalo wedding, how nice. Every one in this picture's collective dream, I'm sure. Mother there is quite proud, as is Dad - if he's actually awake. Might be passed out on his feet. Such are the traditional festivities at a Juggalo wedding - gettin' wasted!

To be fair, these young Juggalo's may be high on nothing but life: which consists of the music of a band called Insane Clown Posse - or ICP as they're known on the streets - and drinking a weird soda only available in the Detroit area named Faygo. Strange traditions, but then Juggalos revel in the strange. From what I can gather from my cursory search of the internets, some Juggalos keep their face paint on at all times. Strange.

Harmless, you might think - just kids wearing makeup and partying with music. But these Juggalos are also known for their destructive ways, wrecking everywhere they go, everything they touch, like some kind of clown whirlwind. And destruction of other people's property is not cool, man.

 A useless sign, since if you are a Juggalo you'll ignore it, and perhaps act even more Juggalo-ey. Or if you're not a Juggalo you'll just go "wha?". Either way, ineffective, if well intentioned. Juggalo's gotta Juggalo.

Teach them well

Might as well have a beer too. What's the diff? Little juggalo got to learn how to party early, you know?

Another juggalo Mom. Don't know what a juggalo is? GO NO FURTHER! Ask no more questions! Ignorance is bliss.

Like, better to know this never happened, right? And yet here we are. SPRING BREAK!!!! Not juggalos, as far as I can tell - I'm not an expert though. They have to be Americans, however - who else drinks Bud?

British Pub baby only drinks Bass.

Joker Kick Flip

A real thing - Heath Ledger was a skater dude. So why not do some flips over Batman while on break? Always time to skate, Batbrah.

However, I am not a skater, so I would have to decline any offer of said skatage. I am not Batman, by the way, but Redshirt - and I value my health and life!

Workin' at the Circus

Another commute to work. Left turns are usually the worst. And drive thrus. Haters also too.

Ronald after dark

As everyone knows, clowns get their powers by eating people, right down to their souls. A rarely filmed event, however, as clowns are devilishly elusive, and deadly when cornered. Pour out a large Coke for this brave photographer, how foolishly brave.

Ronaldus Magnus

How strange that once upon a time, for a long time, everyone smoked. A multi-generational cancer upon humanity, encouraged by society and industry, and yes, future Presidents.

No joke. "Ronaldus Magnus" is a nickname Rush Slimeball came up with years ago and the dumb ass dittoheads promptly spread it across the rightwing hivemind. The Wingnuts have deified Reagan, creepily enough, and this Latinization of his name as some sobriquet of Empire is a reflection into their warped, fascist minds. They want to be ruled, and they want to crush those deemed inferior by the Talking Heads. Check it out at TPM.

And yes, I'm equating Reagan with a clown. This freak circus we're living in today was brought to life by St. Ronnie. What's mildly amusing is the policies and statements of Reagan back in the day were mild and moderate compared to today's EXTREME Wingnuts. If you put his policies in writing without attribution they'd claim: Liberal trash.

The worshipers have exceeded their God in piety and devotion, to madness. But, it's true: Far less smoking.

Sugar Krinkles

Sugar Krinkles was the Rice Krispy of the 1950's. For reals. That scary ass Krinkle clown haunted boomer kids at the breakfast table way back when. Explaining the Reagan Revolution. Boomers are wack on Sugar Smacks. And Krinkles.

Seriously, say "Sugar Krinkles" out loud 3 times and see if you don't laugh. It's hilarious.

Also too some postmodern Krinkle art

Accept the fear, and let it pass through you. If a clown comes upon you unexpected, you'll be ready...

Clown Monster

Available for Birthday Parties, Bar Mitzvahs, and Kindergarten Graduation Celebrations!

Thesis: There's "culture" fears, and instinctive, primal fears. Example: Fear of clowns is a culture fear, particular to our time. Before clowns, before jesters, there was no such fear.  Fear of snakes or snake creatures is universal and genetic, species wide, spanning the entirety of humanity. Fear of reptiles is hardwired into all mammals, based on those bad old times some 80 million years ago.

Culture fears bubble up out of the primal realm, assuming different forms based on the time and society, but always connected to a primal fear. Fear of clowns, for example? Fear of the Other/the Absurd (no control). Anyone not in your tribe, and acting all freaky n' shit, is an instant ENEMY. This covers lots of cultural fears, of course.

All that said, damn ain't clowns scary as heck?!

Fear is the mind killer

A John Wayne Gacy original, entitled "Goodbye Pogo". Pogo was the name of the clown Gacy played for many years. After he was arrested, he picked up painting while in jail, selling quite well. I don't search the internets for serial killers, honestly, but any search for "Scary clown" will inevitably lead to JWG, or Pogo. Imagine the terror! He's a fascinating specimen of freaky ass psycho killer.

I search for scary clown stuff for you, fellow Redshirts. I DO IT ALL FOR YOU!!! And my own LuLz, of course. But also because it's cool to face your fears whenever possible/safe. Once you can face something, you can overcome it. You need will (to) power. Imagine, the nightmares and real fear felt by this young lad for his entire life:

He looks terrified - he's gone into the submission pose. Think of all the neurosis and psychosis that can lead from one terrifying and bizarre event. I mean, what the heck is up with clowns anyway? Who thinks that shit is funny? Also, that's not Pogo. Neither are these guys.

Have fun at your birthday party kids! We'll be drinking by the pool.

Painting for Peanuts

Even elephants are terrified of clowns - which makes the circus that much more of a torture. To rid herself of these demons, Tessie here paints. Clowns, always painting clowns.

Billions Served

Heart disease is the leading cause of death in America, killing upwards of 700000 people a year. McDonalds contributes in no small way towards heart disease the world over. Think of the many deaths Ronald has on his hands - millions and millions.

But I did not speak up, for I wanted a Big Mac. Or an Idaho Burger.

Not really though of course - I haven't eaten at a McDonalds (or any fast food [does Subway count? I have eaten at Subways/Quiznos - veggie sandwich. How bad can that be?]) in 15 years. How 'bout those Hippy stats? Ronald has no power over me, nor does the King, or Wendy, or any of that gang.

The system being the interconnected global corporations who use us like serfs. Fight the power, man!

When we lost the clowns

I don't remember a time when clowns were not considered scary, but scary in a "oh, you're terrified of clowns too?!" kinda way, you know? Like we're all suffering this fear of clowns in secret, all pretending to find them funny, still hiring them for our children's birthday parties, knowing full well we're terrifying them too.

But maybe it's just my secret shame. A GIS search for "scary clown" has no shortage of results. Now, I assume way back in the yonder, clowns were genuinely considered "fun". What changed? I suspect a large part of it is this guy:

John Wayne Gacy - the original killer clown. Quite a scary individual, and he might be the source for all this fear, for the loss of the clowns. Others jumped on the bandwagon - prime among them in my mind Stephen King's "Pennywise". And then once a meme enters the common consciousness, it takes off and lives a life of its own, such that we could all hold the idea and have no idea where it came from.  This is an autographed John Wayne Gacy picture, apparently.

Will there be a Clown Messiah, to redeem them all?

 I doubt it.

Also too:

All that said, I do recommend the movie "Shakes the Clown", but that's only because it's uber-ironic.

Circle of Life (of a clown)

For every ending, there is a beginning.....

Death of a Clown

I'm not the fairest judge of this, since, oddly, I don't mind funerals in the least bit, and I guess I'm a bit ashamed to say I enjoy them - death is so often so resolutely ignored that, from a mad scientist perspective, I enjoy watching people's responses to this one terrible topic. Maybe. I'm not morbid though, in some Goth Harold and/or Maude manner.

So, that said, Good Shesah in the sky would I have LOVED to gone to this funeral. A bona fide CLOWN FUNERAL. Look at the clown with the hat labeled "Dust". Brilliant!

I guess I have a new sub-mission in life: Attend a clown funeral. I'll keep my eyes/ears open. Please do the same and pass on word if you hear about it. I'm prepared to travel.