Pages

20120830

Come at me, bro

Internet memes. Wondrous little things that come from nothing and bring forth chortles and snorts, for a time, till they fade away back into the digital nothing from which they sprang. Some last longer than others, such is the way of all things. I expect longevity correlates to the degree with which the meme addresses the human condition. Closer to the bone and the more LOLS there are to be had.
What I find hilarious about this meme is the ironic mocking of the faux peacock effect - some male punk is feeling testy and gets pushy with someone else over some perceived slight. They'll raise their arms, puff their chests, tilt their heads back and strut in this position in side to side motions. It's all very bird like, and have I ever mentioned I have a "problem" wherein I view ALL human interactions as if in a nature documentary? We are animals, after all, living in nature.

The "Come at me bro" move is a genetic behavior we share with our simian sisters and no doubt goes back millions of years into our shared past. Billions maybe.
After all, it's clearly a defensive measure intended to make the possible attacker think you are bigger and more menacing prey than you might really be. Puffing up, as it were. An ancient and noble defense, but one that fails in the face of a dedicated assailant.
Not much you could do here, really, other than roll into a ball and pray to FSM that he tires/bores/frightens off. Bears can be scared off, of course, but not if they're all chargy and foamy fangy. You're screwed.

20120829

Undercover Ursula

Laugh at all the jokes, listen to the same music, eat the same food, and never, ever stand out or up. Fall in line when the group bully comes along. You'll blend in in no time!

20120828

Let us give thanks

C'mon on in! Water's fine! Don't mind Brutus here, he's an old family friend and sweeter than hell! Grab some more beers first though, wontya?

Seriously. It's an awesome story. Here.

For reals. Brutus often eats at the table, and most definitely does for big events. Best let him have the wishbone though. No pulling.

20120826

Friends where you find them

Two different examples of dogs and leopards getting along famously. Are there more? I assume we'd only hear about the successful ones.

Theory: If you raise any mammal with a different mammal from day one, they will be friendly towards each other for a good while, even if it is against their nature. For example, raise a lion with a lamb and I bet they'd pal around. For awhile. Or how about a monkey and a dog?
Monkey tickling a puppy. Life! What a thing!

This theory only applies to mammals. Reptiles, fish, all the slimy stuff in the ocean, and most birds, don't give a damn, and will eat their own brothers and sisters if need be as soon as hatched from the shell. Lesson: Eggs are evil. Trust not creatures hatched therefrom!

20120825

Dogtona - No Limes

The first ever running of the Dogtona 500. Unfortunately, due to the overwhelming superiority of the dog racers, this was the first and the last running of this inspired sporting tilt. For shame, humans! If you can't win, you quit. Pshaw!

Also too - here's the victor celebrating with what he thinks is an apple...
WTF?! My contract clearly said "NO LIMES"!

20120824

Sex n' Puke

Gross dog stuff - but not that gross, like PG-13 shit, man - below the fold. By clicking you wave all rights of protest and agree Redshirt is awesome.

20120823

Legitimate Rape

All too real, up and down the animal kingdom. It's the genes, you see. They want to spread. At any cost. We are but machines for their bidding.

Also too, rape is never legitimate. It's an act of power over another in the most primal, violent of ways. Republicans would change this definition if they can. And they're trying.

20120822

Termitortoise

The Termitortoise.
Listen, and understand! That Termitortoise is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.
Could be said of all reptiles, really. Ever seen a "pet" lizard? Dude is cold blooded, and don't give a shit about you except for the food.

Take home lesson? Don't fuck with tortoise. Turtles, on the other hand, are eminently fuck with-able. But please don't, as they're so cool, and hapless, as previously discussed.

20120821

Turtle Time!

I've got a soft spot for turtles. A pity, kind of. They're so slow and silly most of the time, though the snapping ones can be frightening. But even they are cool, because all turtles are cool. Yay, turtles!
Feels good, man.
The Universe!
Mother tortoise to an orphaned hippo. Aww! For now at least. There's a break up in their future, unavoidable.  Still sad though, for poor orphan hippo. The tortoise will probably be psyched.
Mystery turtle on the lam.

20120819

Pacific Trash Vortex

Aye, in the Pacific but in fact in all oceans, to a lesser degree, a great vortex of trash has formed over the past 50 years and only gets bigger every successive year. Due to currents, but you are not destined by currents unless you want to be. And you don't want to poison/starve cute little turtles, do you?

Reduce, reuse, recycle!

20120817

Perp Tag (Probation)

Dog Judge is harsh and not always fair, but this seems reasonable a punishment in the small case of the "Mysterious Trash Juice on my Face".

All animals love trash - consider that, human. What we throw away is dear treasure to all other life.

20120816

Meanwhile, inside

Who knows what lurks behind the walls of your neighbors? Unless you go inside of course.  They may seem outwardly "normal", but inside, where it counts, they're all kinds of crazy. And sad. This lad here clearly is suffering from several addictions - alcohol, ya think? Nicotine too, and maybe he's doing some other drug I can't see. Also, the internet - it's true, now, I realize: It can be a drug that takes over your life. Your internet reality becomes your true reality, the fleshbag can have the "real". But what is real, Neo?

Also, is that some fancy expensive lamp, that IF I knew what it was I'd be all "OMG! That's a Murcato Ruby from 1924, with the original lacy edges!"? That kind of fancy?

20120815

Home is what you make it

In this case, a giant rice farmer. Awesome, right? Also not for sale.

If I did buy this place though, somehow (lottery?), I'd install flame throwers from the guy's mouth, raining down upon the driveway. Now that's home defense! It's our Constitutional Right, after all. As Korean rice farmers.

20120813

No Tilters

Take your lance elsewhere, tilter. This windmill is not going anywhere, and in fact, is environmentally friendly. Why do you hate the environment, Don?

Oh, right. Delusion. Similar to the Republican's response to global warming. Did you hear July was the hottest month on Earth in recorded history? Liberal lies, I'm sure.

20120810

Red Shirt Is

Green where there was only brown before, forever. It's magical. For comparison:
The harsh light of construction. Does it ever look good? Better always to see the final product than the steps along the way. If consumer you be, rather than producer. Me?
I love the nitty gritty in the production and am often bored with the results. To my detriment!

20120809

Built on Blood

The Colosseum, a Roman masterpiece. Used for Gladiatorial combat - men killing other men, most times one on one, sometimes with dozens of men fighting. Heck, the Romans flooded the Colosseum and used miniature war ships to have naval battle for the crowds. And it was all about the crowds - bread and circuses. The sport of men killing men was enjoyed for hundreds of years. How many died for this sport? How many more cheered? The Colosseum had an occupancy rate of 50,000. There were gladiatorial arenas all over the Republic/Empire, in every nook and corner. It was the NFL of the Roman era. Consider this when reading of the Spartacus rebellion - he was a gladiatorial superstar, leading a rebellion against the ruling order. Also remember that 40% of the population was enslaved. Slavery sucks, and though true slavery has been banned worldwide (above board), are we not all wage slaves? Forced to work in a system that enforces compliance?

Also too, tooth art rules. And as for bonus rulage, here's the Ludus from Spartacus, training ground of Gladiators:
When I win the MegaPowerBucksBall I shall build a proper Roman villa, with walled yet open garden areas within the space. Roman villas rule.
"Spartacus" employs the "Upstairs/downstairs" trope to the max. Downstairs, as you can see - beside the sheer cliff - is the slaves quarters, and it's grim and brutal. Above is the Dominus' level, and it's open and airy and beautiful, filled with pools, pillars, and marble halls lined with busts. Upstairs for the Master, downstairs for the slave. Is it not still so, in aggregate?

20120808

I Am!

Spartacus! I feel it necessary to add to the Intertubes record that I LOVE the Starz show "Spartacus". It's amazing beyond words and I'd encourage anyone who has a tolerance for sex and violence to watch it ASAP. For it is VERY sexy and VERY violent, and often mixes up the two - but is that not life?

I trust you all know the "true" story of Spartacus? If not, here be Wiki of it. An iconic story of FREEDOM and slavery - a story we live today, via dollars and wages.

The show is amazingly deep, yet plenty superficial. Here I give hunks and hotties:
There is an enormous amount of sex and violence in the show - X-rated levels, I'm sure. But this is our history - randy and filled with swords. We live today in the pinnacle of safety and sobriety. Back then, circa 70 BCE, it was a more Darwinian reality:
Think of how little truly changed from 100,000 BCE to approximately 1400 AD. It was almost completely swords and togas for most of our (humanity) existence. But then the Renaissance happened, and then the Industrial Revolution, and then computers, and now there's no speed limit, no end to it. We live in magical, fantastic times. Appreciate it, especially compared to our long, long history.

Also, appreciate the artistic beauty of the following screenshots of the show. Click for big as always. Spartacus!
The moment of revolt. Is it not beautiful? Well done, artistic people, say I!
Crazy good!

20120807

Otzi Doodle Do

This is a meme I fully support. Incorporate as much of the ancient past as we can, as feasible, as recommended. No need for human sacrifice, but the art of our ancient grandparents is sacrosanct. Can there be anything more noble than the first displays of symbolic thought? Of the first light of humanity? Nay, says I. 
A reconstruction of Otzi, the dude who got shot by an arrow and stabbed by some knives yet managed to die up the side of the mountain, obviously fleeing. What Otzi did, who will ever know? Maybe he was a murderer. Maybe he was a hero. It's long, long in the past - circa 5500BCE. But what do the lives of that time matter today?
Spare some change?

20120806

Opinions on Skin

Yeah! You tell people what your ignorant beliefs are! That'll show 'em.
Never stop fighting The Man, man.

I still stand back in some shock at how widespread tattoos have come in just a few decades. Twenty years ago they were rare, the province of old vets and motorcycle gangs. And now, everywhere, for, apparently, any stupid reason that crosses peoples minds. Fuck spell check, man!

But hey, tattoos are as old as we are most likely. Check out the iceman's tats (Circa 3500 BCE):
Tattoos probably go back 100,000 years or even more. Though without today's panache, to be sure.

20120805

Prodigal, Yo

The good son, visiting his ill Mother. Sweet, right? Or is this but step in "stealing Mom blind" scam? No way, right? No son would ever steal from his sick Mother?
No man would grow an actual rat tail, right? Wrong!
Truth in advertising, for sure. I once again throw out for the enterprising entrepreneur: Laser tattoo removal. Massive bucks to be had.

20120804

Ink on face

America, the mug shot. God bless these United States!

I also posit face tattoos are the last taboo to be broken when it comes to ink on skin - which, remarkably, in the last 20 years, has gone from verboten for polite society to something even Mom does (butterfly on the ankle). What happened? Oh yeah... Republicans.
This is actually the Jester look from yore. Fetching! Also, king me.
Totally expressing his individuality. Do you doubt it? He's an individual!
Not as individual as this guy though - complete individual. Appears to have his third eye open too, which is so cool. Could also hang many notes and mementos from his face.
Seriously, what would drive someone to do such things? Let me answer my own question: Falling in with a crowd that thinks facial art is cool, and a person without a firm sense of self.
And what of it? It's a big world, and is made fuller by people pushing boundaries. Also too - what are you looking at?