Simpsons did it

Happy 9/11 everyone!

Back in the USSR

What with all the new excitement in Crimea - it's been awhile - I've been thinking fondly of Cold War's past.

Alas, it's just a comedy montage, and not really a geopolitical reality. Despite the action in the Black Sea. It is somewhat interesting, kind of.

Sochi is just down the road from the old Crimea, which is cool, right?

Rule 34 2013

Hello, Internet. I am one of your many Kings, and I greet you both as Ruler and Servant. For today's lesson, let's consider Rule 34, which states: If it exists, there is porn of it.

Above is Admiral Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager. A Simpson's joke, but it's no joke. Of course there is Janeway porn.

Click below for a wicked tease of Rule 34!

Florida the horrible

Florida is a monster, in many ways. One of which is: It's only made for a colder world. If the sea rises too high, Florida ceases to be. And so it shall happen, soon enough. Woe approaches, Floridians.

Some scary skinheads from Florida. You get enough scary skinheads together and gosh! You've got a movement!

Check out giraffe man, from Florida! They helpfully put everyone's mug shot on the internet, for the lulz.

It's a cruel, cruel Summer.

While Rome Burns

So we learn how Empires fall - by stupid people getting power, and being stupid. And thus today's American political scene: A bear ballet, dreamed up by Homer.

Which, like the nifty political drama for the Junkie, is funny! If not tragic.

Homer

Lesbian Homer is still 50% better than Heteronormal Homer. Who is a monster.

Heroin Homer, however, is not cool at all. For shame! Don't listen to this cartoon character, drug people!

Nuke the Whales

I am comforted, in some small way, by the fact that the Crazies have always been part of American politics. They just used to be shunned, and now they're in charge of the Republican Party. But that can change - that will change if the public and media hold them accountable for their insanity. Maybe?

Till then, Nuke Everything.

Thrall to a system

This is a terrible joke, and I apologize.

Have you heard about this? Read about this? Wolf Blitzer (what a name!) played Celebrity Jeopardy a few years back and was terrible. He doesn't know anything, apparently. But then, you don't need to know anything to host a long running news program on CNN, the most trusted name in news.

Imagine a world where the most avowed Christians are also the most hateful people possible. What if - just asking questions here - what if Satan had actually taken over Christianity, and all Christians are really working on behalf of The Dark Lord?

Ironic!

Prosperity Gospel!

Let me play

Devils Advocate: Republicans are Satan's agents.

Satan, Lord of Chaos and Evil. And Irony.

Hipsters got everything on T-shirts.

Technical Vacation

We seem to be on vacation, though that is certainly a relative concept in my case. Regardless, to my legions of fans - hark! The updates will be few this week as I luxuriate in the warm sun and surf of Southern Florida, land of everyone else.

Please amuse yourself in the meantime with your favorite Simpsons quotes. Ta!

Of Many Suns

An artist's representation of Gliese 667Cc, a lovely planet thought to be one of the first that resides in the so called "Goldilock's Zone", that is, the area not too close and not too far from a star where water could generally remain liquid. Which, we think today, is necessary for life. I suspect we'll find this is not so limiting in the future, but that's for then.

For now - perhaps one of the coolest Exoplanets discovered to date, orbiting a small red dwarf star which in turn orbits a pair of much larger stars who are orbiting each other. Fun fact to know and share: It's estimated that about 60% of all stars are at least binaries - stars orbiting stars. Our sun is a minority in this regard.

Here's another artist's interpretation of Gliese 667Cc:

Nice, right? Only 22 Light Years away. Or, that is, they've got The Simpsons on reruns now too. But just when everyone was all fired up about GL667Cc, up and comes PH1, or Kepler-64B:

It's a big Gas Giant 5000LY away so kinda boring in that regard, but not in this - it orbits a pair of stars. One planet orbiting two stars. These two stars are in turn orbited by another pair, like this:

Confusing as heck! And night time would be a thing of rarity. Good for beach going though! Except for the Gas Giant thing. But you know.

Another cool first with PH1 was it was discovered by "amateurs" using publicly accessible data from the Kepler Space Telescope. The best space telescope, by the way. Yeah, Hubble, you heard me.

Food Art

Food. It's not just for eating! Art can be and is anything. Everything. That said, if a Mom made this for a child's lunch, then, well, Mom of the Century!

Amazing. "The Son of Man", bordered in celery.

Persistence of Pancakes. Is there any food more disappointing than pancakes? They're good for about 20 minutes tops after cooking, and they're only really made tasty by loading on butter and syrup. Such a tease!

This anatomy lesson proved less than fruitful.

"The rarest Gummi of them all. It was carved by Gummi artisans who work exclusively in the medium of Gummi".

Gummi!

okcupid redux summer spacemix

Again with the blessings of modernity - any other time in human history, and this guy is a Nerd-Kabob.

Also, OKCUPID is an awfully fantastic place for sad/awesome photos. There's no end to the amusement to be had. Case in point:

It's a dating site. Would you date either of these men? Are you prepared to pretend to be interested in bananas?

R U prepared for such a culinary space exploration? Moon waffles, man.


Or, if you are interested so far: The lengths humans will go to try and connect with another. It is a puzzle, is it not? Or not?

The Passion of The Sisko

Take your time. There's lots to absorb.

Have you watched Star Trek:Deep Space Nine? I know of many Trekkies who have not - and I did not, at first, when it originally aired, thinking it a crass knockoff by assumption alone (I was, and am, a Fool). But lo, was I wrong. Verily. I watched the entire show greedily in 2001 and was blown away. I've never watched it since, and am a bit afraid to do so, actually, since I'm fairly certain it won't live up to my memories of it, and thus, another totem, fallen. I've only got a few left, so I've started to cherish them.

For instance:

Nah. I've got no point here. I just wanted to post this wicked cool drawing. Art!

I have no idea who either artist is, but I am confident the same person did not draw both of these. So, to the 2 folks out there in this beautiful, terrible world, thanks! You rock. These are awesome.

Especially of The Sisko, hallowed be the Prophets (Wormhole Aliens).

Also too: Wolf 359 Never Forget

20 years

Incredibly, this Sunday will be the 20th anniversary of The Simpsons. For perspective, when The Simpsons first aired, they were making fresh Reagan jokes. Egads!

There's no doubt the show has lost a lot of the zip it once had, but it's still funny enough, and the impact this show has had on popular culture worldwide is hard to underestimate.

Also:

Old Man Yells at Cloud

Actually, this might be my McCain picture of constant reference. Or maybe not -- who knows? I am large and contain several people.


For now, bide your time with a lesson from "McCain Speechifying 101"

"We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I took the fairy to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter you'd say. Now where were we, oh ya. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones."