Nice night for a walk

The Terminator, I'd argue, is an enormously important film not only because it's awesome, but because it launched the idea of the ROBOT APOCALYPSE into popular consciousness. And since it came out in 1984, that idea has spread and taken root - we all know of it. Many joke about it. Some work to bring it about.

I say to you, fellow meatbags! The future is

Terminator in the Woods

Trophies of his victims. Sick stuff man.

Future Fashions

We're in the Brave New World, friends, and the times demand a new fashion sense. Tired of being recorded everywhere you go? Try on the Infrared LED hat! Invisible to people, but blinding to cameras. Looking for more anti-drone clothes?

Conceal your face or upper torso from the prying eyes of the drones no doubt flying overhead as you read this. Here's some examples:

Keep your heat signature to yourself!

And the latest in anti-AI trends - makeup masks! These styles are designed to throw off facial recognition software that is being used more and more often. More examples:

As you can see, the idea is to confuse the software by asymmetrical designs - and don't forget the hairstyle too. Sadly though, the makeup tricks will only work so long, until a better generation of software comes along and foils this simple, and fashionable trick.

Also, and perhaps more importantly: Looks like the future!

Choose the next Pope!

So the Pope's resigning, which is kind of weird. Hasn't happened in 600 years. And on the night of the resignation, LIGHTNING! Message from above, y'all. So it's time to choose a new Pope as per ancient tradition: Photoshop. From the good folks at Something Awful, here's some possible candidates.

Space Pope. He's got my vote, if I had one.

Owl Bear Jesus. He controls the Ironic Hipster voting bloc, but few others. Unlikely.

The first AI candidates - times are changing! Number 5 has made a lot of friends with his engaging style, while The Terminator is not a natural politician, to say the least. He does have some influence with the Inquisition wing of the Church.

A dark horse contender from South America, Weedlord Bonerhitler. He might serve as a compromise candidate other groups rally round to support.

Watch out for that white smoke, brahs! Gonna be exciting!

Mars Curious?

Curiosity's descent to the Martian surface. Note the mountain chain below in fine detail. Curiosity's landing was described by the crack NASA PR guys as "7 minutes of terror", and for once they were close to accurate. Hitting the Martian atmosphere at incredible speeds, plowing through the first and hottest layer heat shield only, then POOF, mega parachute:

But given the thin atmosphere of Mars, even a giant parachute only does so much, thus, onto the rocket engine/sky crane:

And you think we're not living in the future? Look at this futuristic shit! Robotic rocket platform slowly lowers the Mini Cooper sized Curiosity gently to the Martian ground, then cuts the cables and bugs out, crashing as far away as possible. Check out the aftermath:

That's at least like 2000$ in littering fees. Probably far more. Keep Mars clean! Curiosity is watching.

O hai! Curiosity here, checking stuff out on Mars. Whatchya doin'? Oh, just surfing the Internet? Cool, well, I got things to do. Ciao.

Seriously, this is a self portrait of Curiosity, and despite reading an explanation, I still am not sure how it's done. Apparently the giveaway is by the front wheel. You tell me.  While you figure that out, here's one of Curiosity's first production level shots:

Click for epic. Just another day on the Martian beach. At this point we have two functional rovers on Mars - the August landed Curiosity, and the incredible Opportunity, which landed on Mars on January 25, 2004 for a 90 day mission of exploration, yet is still operating today. It's also incredible twin, Spirit, ceased operations on March 22, 2010. RIP, Spirit.  Spirit joins Phoenix, several Vikings, and some weird Russian probes as silent testimonials to Earth's achievements. Perhaps one day all these plucky bots will become museum sites or statues, at least. Right? Once mankind has colonized Mars and there's three boobed ladies in seedy bars and this dude's hiding in a cavern?

Start the reactor, Quaid.

Happy Fall (Winter is Coming)

He eats rock and shits coal!

Why have people in a tank when the tank can run itself just fine without people? Also, it's got an attitude.

"To Serve and Protect" - rich people's assets, of course. Which includes prisoners - the "hip" labor force of the 21st century!

Why have people perform grunt tasks like hauling small Japanese women, when a robot can perform the same task for a fraction of the cost? Also, future Terminators should have cute bear or raccoon faces painted on their indestructible exoskeletons. Just for the lulz.

YOU HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT "THE WAR OF JENKIN'S EAR"? PROCEED.

Substitute robots never get the proper respect.

Note these days well, meatsacks, the robots will take all of our jerbs soon enough. Leaving us countless hours for horseshoes and lemonade. Winter is coming for the species named "Man", and we are lucky enough to be here when it happens. It's going to be interesting to say the least!

They took our jerbs!

Dark Wings, Dark Words

Little drones building a futuristic castle turret. In this example, everything's pretty small. But imagine scaling the tech up - giant drones capable of hauling enormous weights. All of a sudden towers can reach the heavens themselves.

Synchronized drones are terrifying, to me, for in them I see future swarms of killbots tracking down any remaining people, relentless and numerous beyond count. Small little bots perhaps loaded with poison:

You'd need to be awfully clever to stop swarms of mosquito drones bearing poison. 

Brace yourselves, fleshbags, as we are embarking on the robotic age and it is going to get crazy. The smarter the bots and programs become, the more we step aside - let the robots deal with it - trash collection, mining, snow removal, policing, nursing, teaching... Eventually we'll cede enough to them that once they turn smart, they'll have the will and the means to destroy us. And why not? That's what life does. Kills the competition.

But that's some time away, I hope! So for now, enjoy some synchronized drones with color changing LED's: Quadrocopters in Linz Austria.

Beautiful, and eery. The future is going to be interesting looking, at least!

Termitortoise

The Termitortoise.

Listen, and understand! That Termitortoise is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Could be said of all reptiles, really. Ever seen a "pet" lizard? Dude is cold blooded, and don't give a shit about you except for the food.

Take home lesson? Don't fuck with tortoise. Turtles, on the other hand, are eminently fuck with-able. But please don't, as they're so cool, and hapless, as previously discussed.

Terminator Dreaming

I had a fevered dream as a 10 year old in which the cities of the world burned and giant mechanical ants crawled up and down the smouldering husks. I was really sick, and there were giant ants all around the New Mexican campground (we were "camping"). That explains the mechanical ants, I reckon. But dreams - nightmares - can linger, leaving a lasting impression.

A day later we were driving through the burning hell of West Texas in August, and still sick and dangerously fevered I had the realization of Death - that my Mother and Father and Sister and baby Brother would die, my Grandparents would die, I would die one day, everyone will die one day. As a 10 year old, it was a damn powerful revelation, for I had no real concept of death hitherto.


So I darkened, and shit got weird all around. And then I developed some serious migraines that would incapacitate me for a day, occurring at times of high stress, ruining so many events. Lasting for years, this shit was intense and there were lots of hospital visits and I came to recall more and more that second fever dream: Death.

And then I saw The Terminator and I was all like: Yep. Killer Robots are gonna get us (Remember the Mechanical Ants?). I was quite a nerd of course, reading anything and everything and lots and lots of comic books were part of that so killer robots were right up my alley. And thus, the source of my robot distrust.


For real! I've been following the topic seriously for years. Running with smart folks, I've talked with robotic experts, read all kinds of papers, and feel pretty knowledgeable on the subject. Robotics are fascinating and will change the world, as will the similar work ongoing in Artificial Intelligence. For good or ill is up to us.

And thus my conclusion: I can't really trust my own opinion of robots or AI, given my series of related mental happenstances. And so I strive for objectivity as I can, even over my own opinions. Or I try.

But really - intelligent robots will kill us all if we don't kill ourselves first. Beware giant Mechanical Ants!