Rule 34 2013

Hello, Internet. I am one of your many Kings, and I greet you both as Ruler and Servant. For today's lesson, let's consider Rule 34, which states: If it exists, there is porn of it.

Above is Admiral Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager. A Simpson's joke, but it's no joke. Of course there is Janeway porn.

Click below for a wicked tease of Rule 34!

The Elephant in the Country

So true. You start thinking for yourself, and you find only trouble. Better to just let the Preacher do the thinking for you. Vote Republican!

I like bashing the South as much as anyone, but it must be noted that these numbers (and so many more) are influenced by the deplorable conditions many African Americans find themselves in Southern states - all run by racist whites, of course. But these same deplorable trends affect poor whites too, but hey, vote Republican!

Think how warped and twisted you have to be to get so angry over the possibility of high speed rail. I'LL NEVER GET ON A TRAIN OBAMA!!!

These poor whites who vote - who live - Republican have been so bamboozled, so brainwashed by the dual poison of Religion and Racism that they will cut off their nose - Gladly! - as long as it means black folk will suffer too. That's their mindset, and what we're up against - a legion of angry, deluded white people manipulated by some greedy billionaires. Vote Republican! 

Ghetto

Each dot represents 25 people, and each color represents a self identified race from the 2010 census. This is Chicago, and you can see how the main ethnicities are ghettoized. Not specific to Chicago, either, as all American cities and probably most world cities are set up the same way. Here's a few more:

Detroit

LA

Greater NYC.

As long as such ghettoization exists, then so too will racism. But much of it is self chosen, yeah?

Complicated subject!

Each dot equals 2K

There's no Las Vegas.

Literally

Infection did most of the work, and most of that was unintentional to be sure. So literally, it was a cold brought from the old world to the new that wiped out pretty much everyone on this map above. Genocide, it's called. The Americas are home to it.

A not obvious conclusion

Here's a huge, busy map attempting to diagram North American dialects and accents. Zoom in to your favorite area and see what you think. Check out the whole map too, and note what's missing.

Oh that's right, the "Indians"! No trace of their dialects persist, except of course on The Rez. Never forget this genocide is part and parcel of the founding and growth of this country. 

Still America

A life goal: Take anything and everything you are comfortable with and look at it from a completely different angle. Upside down, sideways, backwards, slanted, etc. Perspective is the most important lesson.

As far as I've read, there's some debate exactly when the Americas were founded by people. Remember that all people come from Africa, according to current theory, and thus traveled to Asia and on further to the Americas. Lots of walking! Perhaps boats were far better - two rival theories hold boat travel from Africa and Japan prior to land bridge via Alaska model. Who knows if we'll ever know for sure, but with better science and evidence, perhaps we'll get even closer to the truth.

In the meantime it doesn't matter as people will make up their own stories regardless. 

Too Soon

I've been making 9-11 jokes for years, so how can I not drop a Boston terrorist joke? Here you are - it's mild. For it is too soon, but. BUT! Hear me!

While I have a lot of personal association with this event (from afar), and it is tragic for the people directly and a bit less directly affected (unlike you and me far away from this event, watching on TV, or reading on the Net), I refuse to EVER be terrorized. As we all should. And that's what this clearly was - an act of terrorism. As almost all bombings are. Cowardly stabs at the heart of decent society. Which is 97 or so % of us. Here's what I say to terrorism:

Fuck off!

The real power of terrorism, however, is not in the numbers of people killed and maimed in the terrorist attack, but in the reaction. The people who become afraid, distrustful, fearful. The powerful who use these emotions to become more powerful. The innocent caught up in waves of xenophobia. The Patriot Act. The invasion of Iraq. Color coded "TERROR ALERTS". Etc. This is the real damage of terrorism, and we directly control it, in a democracy.

It's psychological. The dramatics of it, the random suddeness of it, the cruelty of it, scars the mind/soul, and it takes far greater significance in people's minds. For example, fear of sharks. Very, very few people are actually killed/hurt by sharks in any given year, but the fear is palpable. And just so - relative to the total population of America, very, very few people are killed or injured in terrorist attacks in any given year. Compared to, oh say just for another example:

Gun deaths, whether by homicide, suicide, or accident. Fun fact! Your odds of dying by gun go up substantially the minute you buy/obtain your first gun. And yet just today in America our Congress voted down any attempt to strengthen the logical background check procedure for gun purchases. Why? Politics and power.


People are making money off gun sales - that's a big portion of the reason for our country's insanity. And it's not really that big money, but they've got a good lobby (NRA) and so, we die every day. Because it's the power behind the topic - the political power of divide and conquer - that ensures that for now, no sanity will be forthcoming. We will keep dying for reasons we could prevent/minimize, but won't. And the Right Wingers among us will in fact enflame.

Thus, here in America, the reaction to this:

The cold blooded murder of Kindergartners, is this:

Wingnut training squads, completely unlicensed and unregistered except of course by their own phony institutions and camps.

Whilst a large percentage of the country goes into a froth over a couple of high end pipe bombs.

I'm sorry if you're offended, but our priorities are fucked up.

By the Shores of the Sahara

Many years ago I "came up with" the idea of a way to mitigate global warming and rising sea levels would be to divert the oceans into Earth's great deserts - the Sahara prime among them (Australian deserts too). Also, I would buy real estate along these new ocean shores and become rich as Crassus.

But then the Internet happened and I learned all kinds of people had this idea already. Above is some German's idea, with accompanying magazine shot:

And here's some French guy's idea:

A close up of the new Sea of Tunisia. And not just any French guy, but someone who worked on a little canal called Suez. They were serious!

As am I now. Flood the deserts! Save our coastal cities. And create all kinds of sweet new beachfront property!

But no, really, how can you ever be sure any idea you've ever had has not been had by someone else? Possibly even better? You got to check, right? But how can you ever really know? Never! There's too many people over too much time. In fact, a safer bet is whatever idea you ever have, it's already been had.

But then, who cares?

Surf's Up!

America, millions of years ago. Not only are the continents in perpetual motion (in 200 million years from now they'll be in much different places then today), but climate changes over geological periods. Thus, an inland ocean covering the plains and the south, with tropical creatures swimming around in the Arctic. Note that the very lands under the shallow inner America sea are now the most fertile farming areas on the continent. And in the case of the USA, this of course shaped the institution of slavery and thus our current political landscape.

Thanks, plate tectonics and global vulcanism! I blame Fox News on you.

Rome in a Gif

Some fun Rome chat! I've been really interested in Rome since I saw the show Spartacus. Lame, I know, but it's an awesome show and I think it gave a good feel for Rome of the day - sensationalized for X rated TV, of course. I've studied Roman history in the past in general classes (I studied Greece in far more detail, cuz of the philosophy, art, and cool science. But the conquering and wars were sweet too.), but never really got a feel for it, and recently I've learned I was sorely mistaken in a great many important details.  And so let's get to Rome chat!

Every would be warlord, strongman, king, dictator, Pope, you name it, since Rome has used Rome as an example, as a template. Here was an Empire that spanned the known world (sorry China - we knew about you and even traded with you but you play no big part in this myth). Look at Washington, D.C. for some evidence.

Fun fact 1! The words "Czar" and "Kaiser" are both derivations of Caesar, and who can argue with Caesar? Veni, Vidi, Vici brahs. In truth, the so called "Barbarian Germans" were not all so bad, and the ones who did finally cause Rome "to Fall" were Roman looking and acting, and in fact desired to rule the Empire, not smash it. The so called "Fall" of Rome is not so much a fall as a fading away, and even then, only in part. Read on!

America the Gif

The growth of America, gif style. Fun stuff - and as we're taught in our excellent public schools, entirely peaceful expansion! Manifest destiny! Go west young man! The truth, of course, is far different than what we were taught. American genocide is more accurate. But hey! I come here not to burden you with a heavy trip. Rather, here's some more fun maps:

We were this close to the Empire of Virginia.

Ever hear of Deseret? I hadn't either, until recently. Mormon Empire - thank your stars, San Diego.

A recurring proposal for the new state of Jefferson, made up from Northern California and Southern Oregon. Never gonna happen, but hippies can dream.

Dots assembled

Here's a map from the 1860's showing the slave population of the south - the darker areas have more slaves. And now:

2008 Presidential election results. Red equals Republican, Blue, Democrat. Just a co-incidence, I'm sure.

Explains a good deal, when you consider the politics of America.This, however?

A map of NFL fans based on Google searches. Witness Steeler Nation! Also, sadly, Cowboys. Smallest real estate - NY Jets.

in order

Click for big. Some brave soul put the movie "Pulp Fiction" - famously known to be out of order - into a very informative, chronologically correct infographic. Serious nerd cred. Check it out in detail. Zed's dead, baby.

Pretty boring movie all straight ahead like that though.

Impeach Beelzebub

It's all right there in writing, hard to deny, right? Fox News = Truth

And this is the America we live in, fight in, fight over. We must defeat people like this wherever they arise, and make no mistake, this is the Republican Party today. Filled with twisted men with too much time on their hands and fear in their heads and they come up with charts like this:

Or even more scary with bars on the shoulders and stars on their chests they come up with Powerpoint slides like this:

We're all connected, Brahrades.

Rugs of War

Rugs made in Afghanistan, bought by US soldiers, shared with the world via the intertubes:

2011 - more war.

At least it's not poisoning a school full of girls, right? That's happened twice this year, by the way. The Taliban are among the most despicable groups on Earth.

A fitting tribute. I might use it again later this year.

Ardaphile

The best map of Arda - Earth - I've ever seen. It's lovely. I've long loved maps of all kinds, fascinated by the perspective - so high up. Of course, as with all things, some are more beautiful than others.

Can you find Gondolin? Morgoth couldn't for the longest time, but then, he's got plenty of it. All it takes is a mistake, a small slip, and evil comes marching in.

Find out more by reading the fantasy bible, The Silmarillion.

Orangutan Surfing Civilization

A real thing, fictionally speaking. Check it out: KAMANDI!!! What a crazy piece of work. Love it. I am enthralled with the idea of complete fictional worlds/universes - mythology, comic books, fantasy, sci-fi, etc. Nerd stuff, to be sure. It's the details that ultimately hook me - back stories, character connections, different but consistent rules for reality (magic, technology, super powers, etc). Mythology and religion are like this too, of course, but with a great deal more respect given, though not always deserved. Not as entertaining either.

The Orangutan Surfing Civilization sounds like awesome times.

Duck Hemisphere

Your eyes don't lie, right? It's a duck, or some sort of water fowl. I never knew - never even dreamed, really - we could all be but lice on a duck's feathers. But hey, if it's turtles all the way down, why not duck continents too, and we but bugs crawling on its surface? Or some such.