A rare, alternate angle to the simian sexy internet classic:
"Cold, dead hands", Zira was to remark later.
Also, maybe you're now wondering: Has a person ever had sex with a monkey? Then you sadly realize that yes, according to the law of "If you can think of having sex with something, it's probably already been done", then, of course. Probably all the time.
Or, maybe you weren't. Sorry!
Speaking of, I love stupid debates about stupid stuff - like could astronauts defeat cavemen, if set in similar circumstances (out in nature, to fend for themselves)? Anyways, could a man defeat a bear in a fight? Let's start with a super huge ninja versus a smallish Black Bear and work our way up. Barehanded, of course. Or, with a big knife?
Could a man fight a lion, and win? Maybe. Maybe the strongest man in the world.
Could this Egyptian Hercules defeat a Gorilla as well? Would you fight a gorilla, even if given no choice (like going to die anyway)?
One thing we, as a species, do excel at in the Animal Kingdom: Sweating. We cool our bodies better than any other large animal and thus are capable of long periods of physical endurance, i.e. long distance running. We can literally chase down wildebeast et al, since, eventually, they must stop to cool down. And we'll keep coming.
Oh yeah, also our awesomely dangerous brains.
We need more absurd humor in this world. Once you "get" absurdity, you can apply that lesson to everything, and thus, lighten the load a bit.
But then, there's good absurd and bad absurd. Boston traffic jams? Bad absurd. Perhaps my least favorite thing, like, in life. Top 5 at least. Who likes traffic jams? I'd like to meet that person(s), since they must be insane, and should be studied for science.
But maybe this traffic jam would have been a little better with Mrs. Chiggers staring you on. Or, maybe eventually, worse?
Also too, The Staring Game is awesome. Next time you play it, imagine you're looking into the other person's brain. It will freak them out, and you'll win. Also, moisten your eyes surreptitiously before beginning.
EVOLUTION people! That this is a debatable subject across America, and sadly spreading across the world, is testament to the ignorant power of Religion.
Cat breeding is a different subject entirely. But still, progress continues, albeit slowly. Giant Maine Coon, y'all!
Also, Mothering is All Natural.
S'not fair, amirite?
Also too - Japanese polar bear bait:
Kirk never got a "Day", but then, perhaps every day is Captain Kirk's Day. Science has done studies, and here are some of the results:
But yeah, with legions of redshirts, there always happens to be a select few in charge - Generals and Colonels and Captains and Gang Leaders, and so on - any and all leadership positions within the local tribe. And sometimes this Leader is wise, and smart, and sly, and leads his people to great success. Other times, though, the Leader is not so wise, and perhaps foolish, and stupid, and leads his people into great distress. At other times, of course, it's some mixture of these two poles. And what then? Just hope you get a wise Leader.
Like Jean Luc Picard. Today's still his day, and herewith I celebrate Captain Picard, the Best Captain.
Perhaps "Engage" was the catch phrase with the most long lasting impact.
It's all symbols, fluffery, distractions. Distractions have their role, no doubt, but as a primary focus, not so good.
This is a thing, by the way, that was no doubt born circa 2003, 2004 with the Red Sox run for the championship: Believe. I want to Believe. Believe in Boston. Believe in flimsy tribal allegiances to drive sales.
This is the Wheel of Karma, of course. But also another "Sully's" brand Boston product. $$$
Having moved back to Boston in 2000, I've witnessed firsthand all the major sports championships, and the subsequent "Celebrations". And I propose the reaction of the Boston Police to the these celebrations over the years parallels the changes in America as a whole. As in - 2001, the police were totally caught off guard, and the Sullys went joyously wild. By 2004, the black clad Storm Trooper look had been perfected, but not the tactics - the Troopers were caught in a defensive position, and lashed out, killing a few, injuring many. By 2005, they learned to be "preemptive", sealing off all the Celebratory areas ahead of the game's finale. 2007 and 2008 (Red Sox, Celtics) featured a jaded, tired, going through the motions pantomime of the riots of 2001-2004. No one was really into it. And now, 2011, so much has changed. Gone was the black armor riot gear. Gone were the preemptive squad lines. Gone was the clubbing and gas and sandbag guns. I just watched in some disbelief on the TeeVee the Boston cops, in reflective orange safety jerseys, calmly guiding drunken Sully's off the T entrance, even helping them climb down. The news hairs were agog, they kept describing the evening as "Community Policing" as opposed to "Militaristic" tactics.
Yeah. Exactly. And I know why:
Obama. He's the antidote to the craziness of 2000-2008, and it's working. Slowly but surely, we, as an artificial tribe called America, are pulling back from the brink. Believe it.
Peace and Love and Lack of Burning Cars, y'all.
Also, OKCUPID is an awfully fantastic place for sad/awesome photos. There's no end to the amusement to be had. Case in point:
R U prepared for such a culinary space exploration? Moon waffles, man.
Or, if you are interested so far: The lengths humans will go to try and connect with another. It is a puzzle, is it not? Or not?
But we, the Lucky Ones, live in an age of plenty, of miracle. You can eat all you want and suffer few consequences in so doing. And thus, Pancake Man above. At no other time in human history could he exist in this form, unless he was elite. Indeed, fatness was once the mark of the richest of our monkey mammal line - who else could get fat but someone wealthy? Royalty. Then. Now, anyone can - head down to Mickey D's for a crash course, if you're so inclined.
On the flip side, the same circumstance - the Age of Plenty - allows for progress. Vegetarianism, for example - in no other time in human history would it make any sense. But now, when there's so many options? Why not? If it can be done, now's the time to do it. While we can.
But don't get too used to it. Luxury is always a temporary condition, as the reality of our existence is harsh. So, in lieu, here:
Progress, you see? We're slowly becoming a more peaceful species. But there's gonna be some bumps in the road along the way.
here. Here, you see the fractal nature of trees, and life in general. Life makes a copy of itself, buds it off, which does the same, and so on. Replicating fractals. Every so often, something happens to change the fractal pattern - a mutation - and a different fractal then replicates, until it too undergoes some change, for some reason (could be radiation, starvation, different atmosphere, etc), and this process is, in part, evolution. Life is a fractal chemical process consuming energy in order to replicate itself, generating waste products which in turn contribute to some other process. This of course is the real meaning of life, but, meh. Rather unfulfilling, right?
Note to future auteurs: Backwards talking dwarfs are always creepy.
Thusly, falling in love with a Redshirt is just asking for heartbreak, since we all should know what happens to Redshirts. But! In the grand scheme of it, are we not all Redshirts? Mortal, fools, fated to be used, doomed to a certain end? So why bother falling in love if it will end - Darwin guarantees it! - in tragic loss?
You know the answer.
Now, onto the show. WARNING! ADULT CONTENT BELOW THE FOLD (speaking of guarantees)!
So go get laid!
Or, also too: