9/11 lulz

I'm so over 911 I'll make no attempt at commentary. Instead, enjoy these gifs:

Subtle. Tasteful.

Classic.

Coda

And a NSFW... below the fold:

Southern Hospitality*

The South is a very diverse and tolerant place. Come see our heritage parades and festivals!








*Post intended as sarcastic humor only

A new humour

You couldn't make this very funny joke 10 years ago, or ever before.

You glimpse but a sliver of the Internet's power.

Nuke the Whales

I am comforted, in some small way, by the fact that the Crazies have always been part of American politics. They just used to be shunned, and now they're in charge of the Republican Party. But that can change - that will change if the public and media hold them accountable for their insanity. Maybe?

Till then, Nuke Everything.

Thrall to a system

This is a terrible joke, and I apologize.

Have you heard about this? Read about this? Wolf Blitzer (what a name!) played Celebrity Jeopardy a few years back and was terrible. He doesn't know anything, apparently. But then, you don't need to know anything to host a long running news program on CNN, the most trusted name in news.

Imagine a world where the most avowed Christians are also the most hateful people possible. What if - just asking questions here - what if Satan had actually taken over Christianity, and all Christians are really working on behalf of The Dark Lord?

Ironic!

Prosperity Gospel!

I forget

I'm too hip to watch TV, so I have no idea what the TV talked about today in regards 911. My sources on the Intertubes were remarkably muted. So muted I said to myself, "Redshirt, I think we're finally over 911 in some significant sense." Even the 911 jokes were kinda lame. As such!

A stylish 911 shirt.

Have some 911 candy! The nougat filling is made of irony.

Plenty of folks got 911 birthdays, and who could forget that? No one, never!

What I'll never forget is the way 911 was used by some in power to gain more power, and to engage in acts of empire. And get filthy rich. Never forget that, and the way the event is used to manipulate you. Laugh instead, even if you suffered tragedy. Because tragedy will always happen - it just happens, sometimes. It need not be a Kristallnacht. And so as I said before, I mock. I laugh. I post stupid jokes. Why not? The real terror is this reality.

To end with perhaps an actual funny joke, click below - but beware! Boobies.

CATS

It was tragic for all involved. But they didn't say that on the news.

I mean, he was a cool cat, a smooth operator as they said, back in the day.

3rd bottle was a bad idea. But if you're goin' away for 30-to-life....

It's a Joke

Technically, in comic book logic, this makes perfect sense. A man of stone would be immune to Medusa's powers, and thus able to behead her with ease. Or, strike up a conversation - it's the 21st century, man. You don't necessarily have to kill every Gorgon you see.

Or? Here's real merchandise from the early 1900's South. Ain't it charming? And today of course, racist collectors ensure art like this goes for good money, relative to a redneck's perspective.

Isn't it funny?! Little babies left out on a log in alligator country, ready to be eaten like popcorn. Someone's darling children - and all children are darling.

Implied in the word "bait", of course, there is a fine Southern Gentleman somewhere offscreen with a gun pointed at the alligator. That was the whole point afterall, right?

It's a sick state of mind, and too prevalent still. Especially in "The South".

The Power of Minstrels

A powerful lineup, and influential. Each of these men had a not insignificant role in shaping the flavor of race relations in America today.

I wonder what the real effect of entertainers, sports figures, and other celebrities is on race issues. I assume it's significant over time in terms of cultural awareness. Whether that translates tangibly to non-celebrities, I don't know.

Anyone got a study?

Also too, and said before: If you've not watched Sanford and Son in some time, or ever, please do. It's amazing.

Satire Not Satire

The top picture is from the Dave Chappelle show (which was hilarious). The bottom shot is a real screengrab from Fox News. Hilarious, and depressing.

Let's call it "The Onion-Poe Theorem": As time progresses, Fox News will grow increasingly indistinguishable from The Onion. When the two are 1=1, The Wingularity is upon us and there is no escape from certain DOOM.

LOL Jesus IV

Know your meme! But seriously, every other person at an AA meeting starts their story this way - "This one time I got so hammered...." (or variant). It becomes a strange drug, and I think the body gets a little placebo drunk, even if stone sober.

Also, memes rule. I love them even though I know they're lame. It's like a brand new form of the joke - by that I mean one person getting another person to laugh intentionally. One wonders when the first joke was told, or even further back, when the first physical humor was displayed. I contend the first physical joke was the "tapping on the left shoulder when in truth you are standing on the right side, such that the tap-ee looks left to see no one, then right to see you!"

Still funny!

Lessons from St. Ronaldus

I just finished the book Nixonland and highly recommend. Kinda scary. But relevant to our times, for we are living in the reality of the true Revolution of the 1960's, and that was the Conservative (Wingnut) Revolution. The Triumph of the John Birch Brigade. Three men were in large part responsible for this Revolution - Goldwater, who was rightly considered the loon he was; Nixon, of course, who was a grab bag of resentments and hypocrisy, and good old St. Ronnie, who coulda run for President in 1968 and probably won. What Reagan gave us was the victory of the actor.

 An actor with little knowledge of the issues but with a good sense on how to move a crowd. An entertainer's skill transferred to politics. The politician as actor, the actor as politician - none of it real, all a facade, an empty chalice in which the Agenda (plot) is poured within. And so today, we have the Republican Party, devoted to the legacy of The Great Man Reagan, giving us

Sarah Palin, defender of Big Gulps and

chewing tobacco. Yay, chaw! Freedom to be fat and get mouth cancer then go die and in the street cuz you ain't takin' no OBAMERCARE! Yeehaw, America!

The Know Nothings are here, and proud of it.

Let us bask in their good natured humor and civic spirit! Cheers!

Have a drink with the Turtle. He'll filibuster his portion of the tab.

If you recall, humor was Reagan's main charm. And he was good at it, relatively. Today's Repukes? Not so much. Do you know of any truly funny right wingers? And for that, again, we should feel blessed with good fortune.

Too Soon

I've been making 9-11 jokes for years, so how can I not drop a Boston terrorist joke? Here you are - it's mild. For it is too soon, but. BUT! Hear me!

While I have a lot of personal association with this event (from afar), and it is tragic for the people directly and a bit less directly affected (unlike you and me far away from this event, watching on TV, or reading on the Net), I refuse to EVER be terrorized. As we all should. And that's what this clearly was - an act of terrorism. As almost all bombings are. Cowardly stabs at the heart of decent society. Which is 97 or so % of us. Here's what I say to terrorism:

Fuck off!

The real power of terrorism, however, is not in the numbers of people killed and maimed in the terrorist attack, but in the reaction. The people who become afraid, distrustful, fearful. The powerful who use these emotions to become more powerful. The innocent caught up in waves of xenophobia. The Patriot Act. The invasion of Iraq. Color coded "TERROR ALERTS". Etc. This is the real damage of terrorism, and we directly control it, in a democracy.

It's psychological. The dramatics of it, the random suddeness of it, the cruelty of it, scars the mind/soul, and it takes far greater significance in people's minds. For example, fear of sharks. Very, very few people are actually killed/hurt by sharks in any given year, but the fear is palpable. And just so - relative to the total population of America, very, very few people are killed or injured in terrorist attacks in any given year. Compared to, oh say just for another example:

Gun deaths, whether by homicide, suicide, or accident. Fun fact! Your odds of dying by gun go up substantially the minute you buy/obtain your first gun. And yet just today in America our Congress voted down any attempt to strengthen the logical background check procedure for gun purchases. Why? Politics and power.


People are making money off gun sales - that's a big portion of the reason for our country's insanity. And it's not really that big money, but they've got a good lobby (NRA) and so, we die every day. Because it's the power behind the topic - the political power of divide and conquer - that ensures that for now, no sanity will be forthcoming. We will keep dying for reasons we could prevent/minimize, but won't. And the Right Wingers among us will in fact enflame.

Thus, here in America, the reaction to this:

The cold blooded murder of Kindergartners, is this:

Wingnut training squads, completely unlicensed and unregistered except of course by their own phony institutions and camps.

Whilst a large percentage of the country goes into a froth over a couple of high end pipe bombs.

I'm sorry if you're offended, but our priorities are fucked up.

Eat my okra

Sanford and Son is a really fun show - if you haven't seen it in a while, or ever, go find it. So much 70's.

Speaking of fashion disasters - white socks with black shoes is a recognized no-no. But you see what this gent thinks of that!

Newswatch16

Bill O'Reilly - in your face "journalist" from way back. A pioneer of the "in your face gotchya" technique in many ways. Hooray for evil! Also, big props to the Newswatch16 logo. Especially the future as heck 16.

But not all reporters/anchorman are evil.

Or are they?

I was never a Will Ferrel fan but this one time I was on the red eye to London and Anchorman came on the in seat TV and even though most everyone was sleeping around me I could not help but laugh out loud. LOL. To some annoyance. I've subsequently seen it many times and love it more so  - funnier still to consider it as a superhero movie, where each channel is a super hero (or villain) team. Consider the anchorman fight as culmination of this theory. Hooray for analogies!

Yay!

Choose your own Metaphor

1. Post Communism Russia, devolved to Gangsters and intimidation?
2. Pre Communism Russia, land of Dostoevsky and serfs?
3. The modern world with its modern problems?
4. The Internet?
5. Shake to choose again?

Invisiblemanitus

(Sad Slow Piano)

Invisiblemanitus is a tragic illness that strikes 1 in a billion Americans each year. Unable to be seen except for the items they wear, these invisible Americans cannot find work, a roof over their heads, or even food. Invisible people are struggling to stay alive on our streets, until now, hopeless for a cure. But with recent medical breakthroughs, we are close to a cure for Invisiblemanitus. With your generous donation we can continue the cutting edge science necessary to prevent this dread disease. Won't you please help people like Frank Jenkison, veteran, Father of 2, and yet living on the streets for over 3 years? It would mean so much to Frank and the several others like him - it's impossible to know for sure how many Invisible People there are, but that's why it's so important to give now so we can find out, and cure them. Thank you.

(Incredible Hulk TV show song)

Sagan Day 2012

Happy Sagan Day! 2012 as a Mayan Apocalypse means nothing, by the way. Let's get that out of the way immediately.  But I will still use it for humorous effect.

Turning more Vulcan by the year.

Carl took ZERO bullshit. That was his thing - see, that's the thing with science. No bullshit. Ever, for any reason, at any time, ever. Antithetical to the very enterprise. Whereas Religion is clearly built on lies. Consider that, Godlings.

The proof is always in the pudding.

Also:  Not a College Republican, though everyone from the 50's looks the part.

Obama Hydras

There's nothing Photoshop can't do. Wondrous! How did people laugh before it? Sure, the Hitler mustache drawn on a portrait is funny, but it gets old pretty fast. Poor historical people - their lives must have been so un-LULZ.

A meme within a meme within a meme. Such are memes now free on the internet, for a meme is articulated then someone else adds to it, then someone else, and so on, till finally a new meme breaks out and spreads in turn. The Dialectic. It's a bedrock principle of humanity (of reality in fact) and the internet has given it power beyond compare to the past.  We feed each other and in so doing continually create something new.

Pencil carving art. Awesome.

Hitler Mussolini in glasses

Yeah, despite the rad name, Hitler - Mr. Mussolini if you're nasty -  here has some poor eyesight, so on with the old man glasses, for decades now. Also too, his middle name is Tojo. And he wakes at night in a sweat from nightmares about a man and a velvet rose. Complicated guy.