Imagine if you will

The Democratic President's Club! In Heaven? Wingnuts will say Hell, of course, because they're stupid wa-wa babies. Also, you can tell Andrew Jackson is the real card of this club - check out them duds. Jackson!

Funny, sweet, kinda lame, yet kinda cool, all wrapped up in kitsch. Perfect. Now, imagine this far less jovial alternate reality:

Team Incompetent actually had this page posted on their public website prior to the election concluding. Perfect example of a picture being worth a thousand - or a few hundred million - words. Soak it in and imagine the horror that COULD have been.

Do you? Bro?

And now consider the "Republican Bench". It only gets shallower. 2016 might well feature Dead Ron Paul (as in "Weekend at Bernies") and Orly Taitz.

As bad as these Wingnuts have been, don't fool yourself: They can always get worse.

Dark Wings, Dark Words

Little drones building a futuristic castle turret. In this example, everything's pretty small. But imagine scaling the tech up - giant drones capable of hauling enormous weights. All of a sudden towers can reach the heavens themselves.

Synchronized drones are terrifying, to me, for in them I see future swarms of killbots tracking down any remaining people, relentless and numerous beyond count. Small little bots perhaps loaded with poison:

You'd need to be awfully clever to stop swarms of mosquito drones bearing poison. 

Brace yourselves, fleshbags, as we are embarking on the robotic age and it is going to get crazy. The smarter the bots and programs become, the more we step aside - let the robots deal with it - trash collection, mining, snow removal, policing, nursing, teaching... Eventually we'll cede enough to them that once they turn smart, they'll have the will and the means to destroy us. And why not? That's what life does. Kills the competition.

But that's some time away, I hope! So for now, enjoy some synchronized drones with color changing LED's: Quadrocopters in Linz Austria.

Beautiful, and eery. The future is going to be interesting looking, at least!

Indian Summer (Winter is coming)

Indian Summer is defined in Maine as any warm day past September 1st. Why it's called "Indian" is not for the curry. It's easy to forget, in the Summer, that Maine is cold, and way up North. And kinda weird. But boy, in the Summer - it can be perfection. I had the BEST Summer in quite some time, due to the fully operational New Gondolin. Take a look - 

Due Northwest. That's my favorite corner.

From the great wall of Redshirt, newly constructed. It was amazing to see the change in the wall and the leaves this past week - from nothing to full on. Some change I like, other change I'm not so keen on. I'm going to miss the Summer and I know I've forgotten: Winter is coming:

Brrr!

Fleeced (Lambs and Conlions)

Hmm. If you're asking the question, I bet I can guess the answer: No? After all, Heaven is whatever you want it to be, and only the people you approve of get access. Ultimately, there is only one Scotsman who gets to go - being the True Scotsman, of course.

Speaking of: Hey! World still here. What a shock! But failed prophecies of DOOM are nothing new. Here's a blast from the past - world's gonna end in 1843 brah:

The Bible guarantees it! Or not. We're all imperfect sinners, after all - so check your math.

I must say, this whole 052111 phenomena has been incredibly interesting to me - I first heard of it 4-5 months ago, when I came across a picture of a foolish billboard foretelling end times - I took it as a local loon with a couple of hundred bucks to spend. But then I heard more and more about it, till it broke out into widespread culture. This depressed me at first, mildly, lamenting the ignorance of my Fellow Sheep - why do they fall for this crap? No idea. But then, I can't fathom how anyone with half a brain and a drop of compassion can vote Republican.

Overlapping demographics! I bet 95% of the folks who got sucked up into this 052111 con are also Republicans, Tea Baggers and Wingnuts the lot of them. Folks hooked on dogma, a small, small percentage of the overall population but their screeches are given global megaphones - for some reason!

Anyways, at first depressed at the fools; yet, over the past couple of weeks, I've turned 180 on the whole matter, as the mockery of 052111 also became widespread in mainstream culture. The Boston Phoenix dedicated their last issue to an awesome mockery; it's become the goto late night talkshow joke. Listening to the radio the last few days, rock and sports dj's  alike have been ruthless in their sarcasm. It's been wonderful to see skepticism so strongly displayed - hope, yet!

Maybe, just maybe, the utter and complete joke that was this latest End Times proclamation, and the widespread mockery of it, will be enough to convince some of these sheep - some, not all, mind you - that indeed, blindly following dogma is stupid. Get it? How much money do you have to lose before you stop getting conned (I heard Camping's group has raked in some 100 million over the last couple of years)? Get a brain, morans!

 (FYI: This is a rare alternate angle to the "Get a Brain, Morans!" photo we've all come to love.)

Some, not all.

Brainwashing, tradition, intimidation, etc, will ensure the dogma rolls on. But if with every year, every generation, the ranks of the skeptics grow, and the blind zealots lessen, than that, friends, is progress. I pray to FSM this joke we just lived through - just fine, thanks! - can pull some from one group to the other. For all our benefit.

Fools rush in

3 days, really, but you get my drift. Remember! According to the Bible - which guarantees it - the Rapture will begin at 6PM per time zone - yes, moving around the world according to man made time zones - and will feature an 8.3 MEGAQUAKE in every area of Earth at 6PM, again, local time. It's in the Bible, look it up! So, to play it safe, I'd keep sinning until about 3pm Saturday, local time, then start with the atonement. Also, have a nice light meal and refreshing beverage - as an immanent Rapturee, this will be your last meal on Earth.

Hey NYC! You can thank this guy for the many 5/21/11 ads around the city the past few weeks. He spent $150K of his savings in order to move up to Business Class on the Rapture plane bound for heaven. Amen!

You don't want to get Raptured but trapped in your house! Get RaptureHatch now (actually, it's too late. Stay outside!)!

Allah's got a turbine engine

And Mohammed was his Mechanic.

Tribal Beats

Thesis: Tribal allegiances allow cognitive dissonances to flourish with little impediment, since support of the Tribe - whatever it's for - trumps all other considerations. 


I view "tribalism" in all its many flavors as one of humanity's greatest burdens. It served us well, way back in the day, but now it seems only useful for violence and hate, to pit one group against another. In fact, one could see the whole of human history as the story of a Tribe, and the expansion of the definition of tribe. America, for instance, is a polyglot hodgepodge of different races, religions, regions, etc. But, due to effective mythology, we're bound up in a tribe called "America", and this, ultimately, allows all the other dissonances to be subsumed, though we all know they're still there. 


So, the goal for a hopeful future is quite clear: Expand the definition of Tribe. An alien invasion would be very helpful towards this goal! 

Let's take a tour of one of the sub-tribes of America: The Wingnuts:

Note the many references to putting things in one's ass. No projection here, I'm sure!

 "Palin-Coulter 2012". For real, I assume. Ha! If I thought that were in any way possible, I'd start buying Mayan Futures stat.

 Just for reference, so you know what "Truck Nutz" are, or in this case "Skittle Car Nutz". Also, I appreciate the parking job. No BIG GUMMINT gonna tell me where to park!

Now, I feel as if the Wingnut and his many bumper stickers is closely related to an old favorite: Crazy religious nut.

I'm sure there's a close tribal allegiance between the two, in parts.

 What I find kinda interesting is I think these people exist in every culture at all times. I just wonder how they used to express themselves before cars. Rambling around the town square in a horse and buggy, maybe? One thing's consistent though:

 We're all Brothers and Sisters in Christ's love. Well, except for all the sinners, pagans, heathens, harlots. etc.... They can all burn in EVERLASTING HELLFIRE!

(I Think I Was In) Heaven

It's a Pope Party Y'all! 

But seriously, one of my favorite sub-sub-sub-sub topics of interest is the general category of "Purported Holy Man Acts Hypocritically". Example: Ted Haggard. There are many, many others.


Not to say John Paul here did anything bad - other than the systematic cover up of institutionalized pedophilia and rape! - but, you know: Funny photo.

Oh and also too: Sorry for the long absence. I was in New Gondolin - I need to get me some Sully Minions or something, or some kind of bot, to keep up in my absences. For I know the Interwebs hunger for more stupid pictures and related stupid comments. Don't we all?

Redshirt's Lament 1000th Post Jesus Dinosaur Spectacular!

I know we've all been waiting for this glorious day: Friday! Or, actually, my 1000th post. The first 300-500 were crap, but I've been on a roll since then. So, without further ado, here's a series of pictures of Jesus and Dinosaurs. NOTE! There is a different meme (to come) for Raptor Jesus.

 Or, did it?

 You see here Jesus - Master Tactician. Get the Magical Unicorns to focus on each other, then you come screaming in from out of nowhere upon your trusty Saurian steed.

 But as we all can learn from Jesus: Different tools for different jobs. You don't want to roll into a new city on a Tyrannosaurus, at least not the first time.

Or full on, "Hey! Prince of Peace here, riding a vegetarian, yo."

 I ain't very religious, but from my studies, one thing is clear: Jesus loves Dinosaurs. I wonder, though,  where the dinosaurs live in heaven? Mingled amongst everyone else, or do they get their own heaven, like hogs?

 Oh, and also too: It's fun to say "Jesus Penis".

Falling from Heaven

Can you feel the pain about to happen? Science fact! New techniques are showing how certain areas of the brain "light up" when the person is shown specific types of images. For example, with images of this type (falling, etc), the mind simulates the actual act and little panic lights flash on all over the brain, and this is a measurable and predictable phenomena.

Point being, soon enough, mind reading machines will be here. Get ready - I recommend a mind training technique where you learn to lie to yourself, convincingly.