The "Civil" War, cont.

Sadly, despite the resounding Northern victory, the so called "American Civil War" (1860-1865) never really ended, as the cancer that was "The South" was allowed to persist, metastasizing into sharecroppers and Jim Crow laws and the KKK and thousands of lynchings. But then this aggressive Southern disease infected and took over the Republican Party - the very party that engaged their destruction a hundred years earlier. Goldwater, Regan, Nixon, and you have today's insanity, insto-presto in just the past 40 years (LOL I'm old). Legions of monsters, breaking down democracy and society across the country in pious fervor.

Somehow, despite desegregation and women's lib and gay marriage and so on, we've fallen under the sway of the Confederacy Risen, the Republican Party, the Southern Jim Crow culture writ large as "American Culture" and proving to be the doom of not just America, but the world.

What madness is this? And how can Earth escape?

Vote or Not

Better vote Republican, Grandpa, or else this guy is getting more government handouts.

Know your Lord

Just in case you're confused, this friendly Tea Partier has a simple reminder. Of course, Jesus was the son of God and Allah is the Arabic word for God so in other words this Tea Partier is blaspheming.

And that's why it's great to be born again.

Tiny Worlds

Behold Saturn in her absolute magnificence. There are much larger pictures available on the Internet, fans, than here. Seek them out if you need a new desktop.

Look just outside Saturn's brightest inner rings at 9:15 o'clock  - there is a white dot. That white dot is Earth, and that dot contains our entire species, now, then, and seemingly forever.

We regress, while we know such wonders await us.


Blame Republicans.

A different sort of nerd

The angry white male political nerd, aka, Wingnuts, Teabaggers, Birchers, Freepers, fascist tools. They don't take as many selfies as the young MLP nerds, but then, give them a break - they're all old.

And angry. And easily parted with their scant dollars - yes, you too can join the "President's Enemy List" with a 25$ gift to Freerepublic.com. Freepathon is happening, folks, and without 100K per quarter, Obama and the Demoncrats win.

And often fat, like most nerds. Here's a "patriot" screaming at traitors during one of Johnny Mac's straight shootin' town halls. Just waking up the sheeple.

Amercia

Looks good. Print it.

Also, vote for your rich betters, you stupid plebes! AMERCIA!

Missin' Mitt

Remember this guy?! Probably not. He was so stereotypically rich and bland and forgettable I can't blame you if he has already exited your memory. Here's some reminders.

It's Mexican Mitt! Fun fact - Mitt really is a bit Mexican, though of course he could not advertise that fact to his fungal based supporters. This pic was one of the glories of the campaign - Mitt on Telemundo, heavy on the tan spray.

Gosh, we never did get to see those taxes, did we?

Another fun fact! Mitt did not write a concession speech - as it was beyond conception that he would lose! Really, he believed that. His whole staff believed that, apparently. For example, Mitt made no travel plans back from his "victory party", assuming the Secret Service would take care of it for him. But the minute he lost, poof! No more Secret Service, and Mitt had to have Tagg or Track or Tacoma (his son) drive him to one of his homes. Oh, sweet schadenfreude - consider it! He sincerely, absolutely believed he was going to win, even though all the polls and all the evidence said otherwise.

Two days after the election, back in Cali (where he really lives), pumping his own gas. Sweet, sweet schadenfreude.

Romney-Ryan 2012 Campaign summary.

Yay! Free shirts!

The Moral Majority

Hey, Virginny? Like your new flag? No? Then get thee to thy polling place this upcoming Tuesday and make sure all Republicans lose. Because if they win, it will be less boobies for all of us.

Half joking, as always. Here's the original with upstanding citizen Ken Cuccinelli's changes:

But the gist is the same: Republicans hate boobies. They hate sex. They hate the classics. Speaking of classics, remember our old friend John Ashcroft?

Boobies! Classical, justice boobies. But that won't do with the new American Puritans. So this:

Became this:

Not only did they cover the nude statues, but they covered the entire space, no doubt to avoid accusations that they covered just the nudity - cuz that would be nuts, right? After all, The Founding Fathers  - Hallowed be their names - loved classical nudity, and as we all know, "Conservatives" adhere to the traditions of the past, by default, and would never attempt to radically change the nature of the country in pursuit of their religious beliefs. Only Muslims would do that.

The Elephant in the Country

So true. You start thinking for yourself, and you find only trouble. Better to just let the Preacher do the thinking for you. Vote Republican!

I like bashing the South as much as anyone, but it must be noted that these numbers (and so many more) are influenced by the deplorable conditions many African Americans find themselves in Southern states - all run by racist whites, of course. But these same deplorable trends affect poor whites too, but hey, vote Republican!

Think how warped and twisted you have to be to get so angry over the possibility of high speed rail. I'LL NEVER GET ON A TRAIN OBAMA!!!

These poor whites who vote - who live - Republican have been so bamboozled, so brainwashed by the dual poison of Religion and Racism that they will cut off their nose - Gladly! - as long as it means black folk will suffer too. That's their mindset, and what we're up against - a legion of angry, deluded white people manipulated by some greedy billionaires. Vote Republican! 

Miss me yetter?

Oh, remember those grand times! The insane and evil in charge of the country, running us into ruin while gloating, strutting, and tut-tutting any who would dare speak against them.

But even the hug of W. wasn't enough to grant John McCain the blessing of Jesus to win the Presidency and lead the Christian nation of America.

Fucking sweet moment in history, right here.

Goodbye, Wingnuts. Your time is over, and we are all the worse for your actions.

Everyone's a Winnah!

Don't let the awesomeness blind you - Obama is incredible beyond words. Look at the kids all captivated!

Poor bears, so uninformed. Listen - are you a millionaire? Do you have industrial concerns? No? Then don't vote Republican, for any reason.

We're Not Doomed (today and for the next few months at least)!

Suck it Teabags. Your attempt to destroy the world and usher in a thousand years of Republican Jesus failed (this time!). Try again in about 6-9 months, if you would, so we can properly remove your sorry asses from the US House of Representatives, and restore a measure of sanity to America, and the World.

Also, have a tree full of baby bears:

Ah, bear picking season. Best part of the Fall. The best part of WINNING!

All life is precious

Did you know both the Republican party and major religious groups did not care about abortion until the late 70's? Concurrent with the Presidency of Democrat, Jimmy Carter. And then one St. Ronaldus Maximus Reaganus used this issue as a wedge (among many) and won huge victories. And now we live in the heights of abortion as a political issue.

My stand on abortion: I wish no one had to have one, but if a woman chooses to, that's her right and she's got final say.

The Republican Party doesn't really care about abortions (they like them too, personally, for their daughters and mistresses), but boy do they love it as a political hand grenade.

Also, it's cool mammals look pretty identical at a certain stage of development. Proof of common descent - Oh! Evolution. Something else Republicans pretend to care about for political purposes.

American Jaysus

Old Jesus is what some wealthy holy roller says He is. He loves big cars, big houses, and big love for The Lord, amen!

And then instead of a cross as the main religious symbol, it could have been a handgun. Cuz Jesus loves handguns!

I'll admit to being a Godless Atheist and wishing for the end of Christian civilization, especially if the Christians are American Snake Handlers and other assorted crazy con men, and women. Big Bang bless America.

President Cat

Given the direction the USA is heading, we might as well elect a cat as President. Would probably get higher approval ratings, and be able to "reach across the aisle". Although if it were a Democratic Cat, that might not be acceptable to the 27% who hold us all hostage.

HOW MANY MEECES HAS PRESIDENT CAT KILLED?!?!?!

Pretty Fly

Awesome shirt, Pappy! That's some hippy shit, right there.

And for your daily moment of despair, try and imagine any current Republican in any way celebrating or even noting Earth Day. Go ahead, I'll wait....

That said, Pappy would stand zero chance of winning any national position in today's Republican party. Not isane enough, by far.

Longing for a Dictator

Hat tip L.E.S.T.E.R.

Truly, a God among men. Worthy of worship and complete devotion.

No kidding. Wingnuts worship Reagan, but have little to no idea what he did, what his policies were, what compromises he made, etc. He's just "The Leader". A symbolic figure they can hold up as their God once on Earth. Like Jesus, but a bit more believable. Thankfully, membership in the Reagan Youth is at an all time low.

The only thing worse than your typical fat white male Wingnut is the species known as "College Republican". There might be nothing worse on the planet.

Always Worse

Another McNaughton, the Wingnuttiest painter there's ever been. Maybe - he's pretty Freepy. Check out the all star quarantine island of liberal hood: Katie Couric, David Letterman, Satan. Also, note the wind turbines on the left causing the tornado on the upper right. Wind power is of the devil, cuz: Liberals. The source of everything bad, you see, according to a Wingnut. A Teabagger. A Republican.

I read a summarized collection of current FreeRepublic posts - I'd rather not wade in directly. For you see, it is a pit of hate and stupidity, fear and rampant paranoia. They were of course cheering the Zimmerman verdict. Why? To piss off Liberals. That explains just about everything about them, by the way - they just want to piss off Liberals. They're crazed, as if possessed by some vile demon given to wanton hatred and disgust. And they've always been with us:

They used to be called "Birchers", after their membership or affinity for The John Birch Society - a collection of far right whackos. But they used to be fringe, on the margins, made fun of, not taken seriously by anyone serious. Now, however, they are the Republican Party, and they are literally at war with America.

They believe they are in a war, and are acting as such. Everything you see on Fox News is a propaganda element in their war. Believe it, for though it seems hyperbolic and unrealistic, these things are really happening. The Republicans have the chance to send the world financial system into depression in a few months, by not raising the borrowing limit of the USA. This has been done automatically hundreds of times in past administrations, it's routine. But not anymore, for once again the Republicans of the House (and they only - a small percentage of the US Government holding the rest hostage - it's breathtaking in the audacity) will play with the fate of the very modern world, over what? Better healthcare insurance for poor people? This is it, by the way. But hey, that's what evil does: Evil.

Through Freeper Eyes

You may have been taught that one of the founding principles of America was the separation of Church and State. You may also have been taught a concept called "The Melting Pot", wherein anyone in the world could become American. In fact, much of America's growth came from people moving here in hopes of a better life for themselves and their family - odds are, your family was one of them. It's even chiseled into the Statue of Liberty:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses, yearning to be free".

But you were wrong. You probably went to a PUBLIC SCHOOL, yes? Well, see, there's your problem. LIBERAL BRAINWASHING.

As any Real American knows (for Real American, read: White Conservative Male), America's a Christian Nation, we speak English, and all them swarthy bastards can go back to what ever hole they crawled out of.

FREEDOM! And Jesus, also too.

Big Sports News

Yeah sure you betchya! The big dog sled thing is happening this weekend!

FREEDOM! Who can tell ya how big a soda ya can drink?! No one, for gosh sakes!