LOL America '14

When America burns the world, future dystopian historians will hopefully, one day far, far from now, discover that it was just a small percentage of Americans who managed to destroy the world so thoroughly. 27% in fact. Americans who of course were an exceedingly small percentage of humans worldwide.

But probably not. We're all awash in the doom we bring down upon everyone. Yay!

More than a metaphor

To be fair, Canadians and Australians are getting pretty big too. Something about McDonalds (and ilk), I think.

Guantanamo McDonalds in the 80's.

War is Peace

Read 1984 again, ASAP. Seriously - it's an amazing book and an outline of our future society.

Then despair, as there's no escape.

Another's Flag

I believe in these things, somewhat truly: The United Nations - shouldn't we all belong to the same nation? We're all the same people, let's organize and conquer Mars.

Control the water, control the planet.

Redshirt originals all, yeah.

A New Hope

An apt image that neatly captures today's political dynamics in America. On the one hand, you have the lock-step Authoritarians of the Right who will back anything and everything their leaders tell them to back - even if it contradicts what they were told to support the day before. And you have "Liberals", who could best be described as a herd of cats. A great concept and I celebrate the freedom of choice, but when it comes to the blood sport of team Politics, Liberals suck. Witness the myriad assaults on Obama from the Left - they're legion.

If we are going to fall into true Empire, all it will take is a persuasive Conservative at this point. Thankfully, none appear on the immediate horizon, as they're all insane.

Send a Dog

Laika, the first Earthling to leave the planet. How greater could be the glory? Laika, SPACEDOG!

Glory enough to make the art for a pack of Soviet smokes. That smooth flavor and gentle smoke reminds one of the heroic sacrifices from our dog friends on our behalf. Thank you, dogs, for all you do for us!

Of course, dogs have been used in war from the day war was invented, I bet. Or thereabouts. Here we have a dog bomb - a little terrier packed with explosives, trained to run under tanks. You wouldn't trust a job like this to a monkey, or a cat. Only dog will deliver, and BOOM.

But a dog can be trained in the hippy as well, out protesting in the street and fightin' The Man! Kanellos has inspired (and probably fathered) the next generation of Anarchy Dogs.

F the Police

Yeah! Anarchy, man!

The power of hippie chicks is enough to stem the black armor clad stormtrooper tide.

Rebel dogs are necessary for man to defeat The Man. Don't go protest without one.

Not as cute as

Victory over America is a great party. Not many can drink to that.

Eternal vigilance is the price of constant paranoia.

Down with the bogus holiday of love! Down with Hallmark motivations!

No hipster left unturned.

Team Other

I'm on Team Other, as DHARMA was a totalitarian intrusion upon the innocence of the Island, on par with The Man in Black himself.

Who was the Smoke Monster, of course. Which was what? Magic. DHARMA, on the other hand, was all about science and control and groovy 70's symbology.

Like all the Hieroglyphs. If you watched the show, you'll recall this stretch of episodes being dark as heck. Creepy stuff - the tale of Ben Gale.

But then, if you were raised on Mystery Magic Island, you'd be pretty twisted too. Thus, count me in for Team Other, cuz the rank and file had the best intentions of the Island in mind - and if you lived on Mystery Magic Island, you'd work to placate it as well. Logically.

The New Protector

I miss "Lost". Really. It was such an engaging show. So many great stories, so many great characters, like Hugo, or AKA Hurley, The New Protector. Hail!

If you've never watched "Lost", do so immediately.

Sing a Happy Song

You know, if we all had a song in our heart, the world would be a better place - this world is made up from all our songs, and if we each decided, "Hey! There's enough BS and hate in the world, why don't I instead focus on love and happiness?" Then whammo! There would be love and happiness across the entire world. Ravens and bunnies would snuggle together and listen to folk songs by the sea.

What a world it would be. And it's true - we could have world peace this very moment if we all collectively decided we wanted it.

But we don't, apparently. And so ravens eat bunnies and man oppresses man. Bummer!

Come Together

It's heartening to see people come together in times of tragedy and loss.

It's sad that it takes such tragedies to bring people together in such visible ways. Shouldn't we be together - all of us, all people - all the time?

Maybe sometime in the future.

Fun times in and around the DMZ

For whatever reason, L'il Kim has decided to stir the geopolitical plot and declare war on everyone. Check out the attack map above. Sorry, Austin!

No one believes NK can reach the US with any missile, but maybe L'il Kim thinks otherwise. Hard to say what anyone thinks or believes in North Korea - it truly is cut off from the rest of human civilization. Check out the night time satellite:

It's been a humanitarian disaster for decades, due to the extreme leadership of the Kim family, in the name of the perfect Communist society, of course. With the recently deceased Kim, the temper tantrums were usually designed to extract some concession from the international community - food aid, trade pacts, imports of luxury goods for the Party leaders. But with the young Kim, who knows. He's gotten very belligerent very quickly. Most likely this will follow the same pattern as before, but maybe not. Till then, let's review some fun times at the DMZ and beyond.

Fun fact! The Korean War (1950-1953) never ended - the war is still on. Thus, the DMZ, one of the most intense places in the world. We're looking from the South Korean side into North Korea along one of the few open spots on the DMZ. The blue (UN Blue, yo) buildings are used for rare meetings between the two sides.

Standard policy whenever opening the door to North Korea - holding hands. Awww. Apparently way back in the day a S.Korean guy opened the door and was dragged over to the N.Korean side until ransomed back. Fun!

So you're an intrepid hipster and want to go on vacation in North Korea. Here's some travel tips.

Might as well stick to Pyongyang. There ain't much else going on. Check out the cool HOTEL OF DOOM (most likely fake):

Now, ladies, there's only Party approved hairstyles allowed. Please conform to the following chart:

That's right! North Korea is not just about nuclear threats and famines. There's a sexy new style sweeping the Hermit Kingdom:

Join the Revolution!

Their bombs

Operation Sailor Hat was a military experiment to see the effects of 500 tons of explosives - without the now (1965) recognized issues of radiation. A wicked lot of TNT, stacked in cool domes. Like Brutalist igloos of DOOM.

For what purpose? Better means to wage war. For, as any Soviet would tell you, or anybody from Central and South America, or Asia, or the Middle East, the USA is always waging war, with their tanks and their bombs.

Enough! No more war and killing! Let us come together as Comrades!

Let us build groovy peace rockets and travel to the stars!

Let us live in peace and fraternity, and sorority! It will be groovy.

Also, too, here's what 500 tons of TNT exploding looks like:

 

 Awesome!

In the Shadow of Nam

Vietnam put a real dent in the American War Machine, and this, coupled with Civil Rights, was the crisis of the 60's/70's, which translated into the snap back of the Wingnuts, with St. Ronnie leading the charge.

Starting with the LIBERATION of Grenada, bringing FREEDOM to this important nation. Baby war steps, really. Vietnam took the piss out of US, then throw in the OPEC embargo and the Iranian hostage situation, and America was ready for some Olde Tyme Isolationism. But St. Ronnie made sure that didn't happen with an unprecedented peace time military build up. Leading to

The LIBERATION of Panama, bringing FREEDOM to this important nation. A bigger engagement than Grenada, and a near flawless victory. Big boy steps! So, why the hell not?

The LIBERATION of Kuwait, bringing FREEDOM to this important nation. America got the neighborhood all together and everyone took care of that mean old So Damn Insane (Saddam Hussein). Another near flawless victory, and this one on a yet much bigger scale still. Looks like Vietnam Syndrome is cured! But still, like a teenager, tentative forays into the adult world

Serbia Bosnia Kosovo Yugoslavia and all that - Jeebers! What a confusing assortment of insignificant nations LIBERATED by the USA, as usual. LIBERATOR of the world, don't you know. W will prove it to you, for you see, we're cured of Vietnam Syndrome! War on!

Iraq 2 was not near as fun as Iraq 1, for most. A few had a grand old time, however. The Generals and the Money Men. Here's David Patraeus, stuck in a metaphorical sand trap, in no way signifying W.'s war.

Oh yeah Afghanistan too, I almost forget. Did we all not? I mean, everyone was for this war, but then Iraq happened and everyone was all about that and we all forgot about poor old Afghanistan. And it's true - poor, old, Afghanistan, once an actual nation, now ground to dust. And since Obama, of course, all our soldiers have turned gay

Thanks, Obama. And we're pulling out, again. EGADS! Come end of 2013 America will not be engaged in any wars! What ever shall we do?!