Profiles in Manhood

Ah, men (human and alien). The cause of, what? 98% of the world's problems? All the wars, by far - by far - most of the crime, the violence and murder, the wanton cruelty of the powerful over the powerless. Men - if you had to exclusively and effectively profile one group, skip the Arabs or Russians or Chinese; profile every man - we're the cause of all the trouble!

For example, alcohol, and foolish behavior. Men excel at this, imbibing both with gusto. For example, chugging. Here's an oldy but always a goody:

A wonderful piece of art - please note the very partly consumed shrimp flying through the air. You put that much liquid into a semi-permeable container and at some point - quickly! - it's gotta come out.

Freudian Field Day, Chicago, 1983

I presume the Patriarchy was only fully established with the first cities, which by necessity required power structures to operate, and these were all run by men. From there, success leads to success, power leads to more power, and 1000's of generations have lived a massive dichotomy: Men run everything, and are the cause of all humanity's problems. Maybe it's time for something new?

Let's go Matriarchy! Women would do a better job of running everything, since they've got more in the game. Sure, perhaps over time, women with power would turn into bloodthirsty monsters bent on crushing all their enemies. But perhaps they would not! And that's better odds than with men, with whom we've had an ample sample size.

But alas! Divide and conquer does indeed prove ruthlessly effective, and all it takes to keep women from rightfully taking over is a small percentage of turncoats, or, in this case, women drinking alcohol, acting the fool.

Rock n' roll!