Droppin' Pbombs

Photobomb. Invented by Michael Cera? The animal version was made popular, I think, with this beauty:

A wonderful accidental photo. And that's the thing - since the history of photography, there's no doubt been many incidents of funny pop ups and photo crashers. But before the internet, who would you share them with, other than immediate family/friends? And since there was no way to copy that hilarious photo of Great Grandad Lancel on his Olde Tymey bike with a young urchin poking his grimy head into the bottom of the scene, the laughs stayed close to home.

But now! We live as connected in a large web of nets, each attached to the other and messages transmitting web wide in milliseconds. All our thoughts and feelings there to be shared. Also too, our accidental animal photobomb photos.

Kazakhstani Astro Squirrel certifying GO for launch.

Also, I'm not sure what the hell that horse was thinking. Or if that cow is not in fact a photoshop. The Web Net is a tricky thing.

Seals out of place

Seal's like, "WTF?!" Kinda sad but also uplifting story of a zoo that flooded this Summer in Minnesota. Read about it here. This seal was found a couple of blocks away from the zoo. How messed up is that, for the seal? Going from a water world to the cold hard, wet streets? Damn. Be advised, freak events like this (10+ inches of rain in short order) will become more and more common as our world climate gets ever warmer. But hey! It's sunny today! Why worry about LIBERAL LIES?

Republican crasher seal sayz "DRILL HERE, DRILL NOW!"

Dog Mermaids

It's true - think about it. If a mermaid is top half human, bottom half fish, than a seal pretty much fits the definition of dog mermaid. I'm sure dogs have many myths related to the sexy sirens of the sea who bark out at them on the shore, luring them to their DOOM.

Also, Chris Columbus saw some mermaids on his illustrious voyage, but reported they weren't as pretty as he was taught. Consensus was he saw some manatees, and no one could say they are sexy in any way. Except maybe to other manatees.

How to: Owl Art

As you can see, it's quite simple. Most people can't draw detailed, beautiful owls because they don't start with the circles. Pre-circles are the key to all realistic portrayals of owls in ink or paint. Or so I've heard on the Internet.

How to make an IKEA owl. Only 3 tools needed! Setup time in minutes (thousands of them)!

Family is what you make it

Or, longer.

This appears to be an adult cat suckling or pseudo-suckling three Ryan Goslings (he's a thing, right? Mary Hartman help me!).

Proving that the mother instinct overrides the predator instinct. Which makes sense - the mother instinct comes from the oldest mammal relative. It's one of the mammalian defining features. Whereas predation is a general skill practiced by all higher level species regardless of families - the strong feed on the week.

Thus, one of the defining features of mammalian behavior is caring for the young, and not just necessarily your young. The root of compassion.

Birds exhibit many similar behaviors to mammals in the loving scale, but I suspect they're faking them all. As they all are monsters, down to the cutest of them. Don't trust birds, man.

This owl, for example, is just biding time before wrecking that gosling's life - not just by killing, but a long slow, torturous psychological undoing. Then killing. Owl's are twisted.

Geese Jam

I've actually been stuck in a goose related traffic jam. It was as frustrating as any other traffic jam - stupid fucking geese! Get out of the road you stupid fucks! I mean, ducks.

Best friends forever! Or at least for the next 2-4 weeks.

Cities from scratch

Some random "new" city in Western China, I have no idea which one actually - any help? New cities sprout like mushrooms in China today, due to, what else, money. China makes everything, and thus, everyone gives them money. I've visited Shenzhen several times, and was constantly amazed - what was a low-slung fishing village but 30 years ago is now a gleaming metropolis who's skyline resembles New York from certain angles. And that's happening all over China.

Lesson? Don't outsource your manufacturing base, assholes! Also too, congrats, China.

Yee-Haw?

Redneck spits on hippies or hippy accident? Who's to know. Just another fan photo.

Tunnel of Love (and Bones)

The nest of the male Great Browerbird, found in Northern Australia/nearby islands. I dare say this is the most elaborate of all birds nests, though there are others worth consideration. Note the use of color and most critically, perspective - they pile up more items further away from the entrance to the next to give the illusion of greater size.
What we do for love! The male of the species spends most of the time not eating/sleeping working on his nest. There's even some mild form of training that occurs when young males will watch/assist an older male with his nest. And all for the ladies, of course. She'll come by, inspect it, and if it meets her standards, SEXY-TIME. Otherwise, she flies off to inspect other nests, and the loser bird gets to work trying again.

You see this behavior in almost all creatures that reproduce sexually - display. Competition. Seemingly over the top behaviors. It's hardwired into us, and is one of the means that evolution works its way through our various populations.

I note for consideration that it seems to me it's the males of almost every species that engages in these elaborate courtship behaviors, or even more, biological displays - consider the peacock. Whereas the females of most every species are drab and/or uninterested in any courtship displays. Except in humans. Sure, males of the species must acquire money in order to acquire a rocking Camaro in order to obtain a mate, but the females of the species go to equally great lengths in order to woo a mate - think of plucking eyebrows. Perhaps greater lengths - witness the cliched sitcom couple of the fat loser man with the plucky, hot wife.

What gives, humanity?

Tunnel of DOOM

An ice tunnel under a glacier in Greenland. Beautiful, but it presages a looming disaster. These tunnels form from meltwater, and quite efficiently drain water from the glacier. This also causes the glacier to slide far faster than normal, sliding towards the sea. The disaster scenario is as such: When enough fresh water pours into the North Atlantic, it subsumes the Gulf Stream, breaking the current. This ocean current is a major contributor to the weather of the Northern Hemisphere. It's loss would cause worldwide weather to go crazy for many, many years. Ice ages, massive floods, crushing droughts, monster hurricanes, tidal waves, tornadoes everywhere. Many, many people will die.

This is a possibility. And yet we do little to prevent it, hostage as we all are to insane Republicans. Who worry not, as they'll no doubt blame Liberals when the shit hits the fan anyway.

DOOM.

He Smoked A Lot

For many years, too many years, I used to joke: I should take up a 5 pack a day smoking habit, and then get fired from my job since I was always smoking, then sue my former employer for discrimination because I was forced to smoke away from work, and thus got nothing done. Not my fault! I am a smoker yet you do not allow me to smoke at my desk! And then, when I died of some cancer related illness, rich, my tombstone would read: Here lies Redshirt - He Smoked A Lot.

I no longer make such japes, as smoking is truly not funny. Disgusting, rather. But this bloke clearly has similar ideas to young Redshirt - how much can I smoke? I trust this is for some stupid word record or such. MOST CIGARETTES!

I quit those evil things months ago. Look at me, all high and mighty and no longer chained to a poisonous gas. I realized I'd rather delay my death, and toast the days instead.

Here's to you, skull in the upper corner. I'm sure your life long ago was awesome and so very important.

The Eternal Flame

The Zoroastrians bequeathed us many gifts, and damnations. Good v. Evil the chief among them in all regards. Before Zoroaster, everything was a more mellow shade of grey.

Here it is - a fire that has burned for over 4K years. Think of it - well before Jesus, Confucius, Buddha and L. Ron Hubbard - men have maintained this flame in the name of a God.

Word - Spring Break at the Eternal Flame.

Trip your mind in the flickering flames, yo.

Thousands and thousands of years old. Think of it - before writing existed, this flame burned...

In a sweet piece of real estate, of course.

Every Day is Captain Picard Day

You'll recall one of the few episodes of TNG that followed up on a previous episode. Picard chilling at the family vineyards after Borgification and then de-Borgification. Which should have put Jean-Luc on the sidelines/prison, instead of commanding.

Patrick Stewart with the Eternal Olympic Flame. Except it's not that eternal, not compared to the Zoroastrians. They've kept a fire going for some 4K years now, which is Hella cool.

Trek Robe and Kicks

I've never really worn a bathrobe, except for brief larks at the fancy hotel but I quickly put it back, considering all the warnings on the coat hangers.

They seem awesome. I'm reminded now of The Dude and how comfortable he seemed in a bathrobe. But how much more awesome would it be in a Federation Bathrobe? An infinite amount, that's how much.

Both robes available at ThinkGeek. I'd be careful with the Red Robe, however. You're just begging for trouble.

I assume once you take the bathrobe off for the day - is it a weekday article of clothing? Or weekends only? You need some logical kicks. Why not Fed it up? Man.

Command colors, the kind of color that says "Hey, you, green alien babe, what are you doing tonight?"

Starship Design

Know what time it is? Bird of Prey past Cardassian Galor. Sweet freaking clock!

A ship for any situation.

I don't really drink Bloodwine, but by Kahless I would with such a corkscrew.

There appears to be FOUR LIGHTS.

Now that's some quality craftsmanship. Engage your beverage here, boldly!

Gifts for the Gastro Nerd

Nerds love pizza - it's a scientific fact. And what better way to cut a pie than with the USS Enterprise? Beautiful and functional!

Studies have shown using the USS Enterprise baby spoon increases feeding efficiency by 57%, which makes it the only logical gift! The bib is made of futuristic teFlonia Repell_All, and features a sweet drawing of a Klingon ship approaching a Federation space station. Exciting! And awesome.

What Hipster nerd wouldn't want to "cook like Neelix"? Imagine the stories you'll have gathering the different ingredients?! Kazlockian Rock Larvae from the Planet V'Argas 6? Can you out spacespice your friends? Buy now, and find out!

Already Assimilated

A map showing McDonald's locations across the Contiguous 48. As you can see, they're everywhere, so much so that the small gaps jump out in contrast. National Parks, barren wastelands, roadless stretches of nature. For now - just you wait, Adirondack Park! Mickey D's will find you, eventually.

Now, like most everyone, I used to go to McDonald's all the time. As a kid it was a huuuuge treat. Not only for the burgers, fries and shakes, but oh yes, the once awesome Happy Meals:

Mint condition - part of some huge Trek nerd's collectible hoard. Marvel at the detail, the quality craftsmanship. I've seen today's Happy Meals, and like most everything else in our society, they've been cheapened and dumbed down. Profit margins, dawg.

Dinnertimin'

From the "Holier than Thou" file: I have not eaten at a McDonald's in approximately 16 years. Vegetarian, you see. However, I have gone into McDonald's to use the bathroom on trips, and I can vouch for the "don't have to get dressed up" claim. Functioning, hoseable mumus seems sufficient these days. At a minimum.

But look at these folk's style! That's not dressing up? That's a casual look? Damn, I miss the 70's, when even dressing down was stylish.

Dick Smith Lies!

I'd like to see a chart detailing the use of the nickname "Dick". My assumption is it was once a fairly common way to shorten "Richard", but has fallen by the wayside over the last 30+ years, in favor of "Rick", "Rich", and perhaps even "Chard". Fallen drastically. Have you met a young Dick?

Who'd choose to be a Dick these days, really?

Also, this phone only floats for the first ten minutes in water. It's in the footnotes. The glorious footnotes - legal arcana to ward off evil magic (i.e. lawsuits). Another example: CAUTION! Coffee is hot.

Lymonology

An apt illustration of the role color plays in taste. Consider even further if the yellow bottles on left contained lime juice, and the green bottles on the right contained lemon juice. I predict you would taste a limey lemon and a lemony lime in tasting each, even if they were pure samples of lime/lemon juice respectively. You see, your mind is as influential in taste as is your tongue. Color plays a huge role in how we perceive taste, as does smell obviously, but even too sound - the crisp snap of a chip adds to its flavor. To go further, since all external sensation is registered and perceived in the brain, than "flavor" only exists in the mind, and as with many other things, it is only Life that gives it reality. For, what would there be to taste if there were none to eat? Flavor would not exist, just as color does not exist without eyes to see light, and sound only exists with the hearer. Quantum reality, yo: Only by measuring does anything have reality.

 Also too, I wonder if this was the Stockboy's error, or someone at Concord Foods "Farm"?

To end - you should try and view mistakes through this prism: It is only through "imperfection" that anything happens in this world. If everything were perfect, than everything would be in balance, and nothing would happen. It's the imbalance that creates change, and change is the definition of time, and time is the river in which Life swims.

So don't sweat it, anonymous Concord Foods employee!

Spoony

Bad English or clever pirate? Ironic misspellings are a favorite of hipsters everywhere.

You know nothing

Ya see, Ygritte symbolizes life, and the football represents our goals and desires, and Jon Snow represents you. Ghost symbolizes a Direwolf Snoopy. Deep stuff, amirite?

Fantasy Art

The Imp triumphant. Yet he got no credit - for shame, Westeros!

Arya Stark, as drawn by John Picacio. Wonderful and realistic, with edges of fantasy.

Would look fine on the side of an Ecoline.

Or yeah perhaps this too, also. Any Phoenix fans in the house?

Casterly Rock 'n Bowl

A Lannister always pays his debts... except League dues. Which are beneath them.

Also, fuck the Lannisters, except for The Imp, who's awesome.

Artist unknown - not the best drawing in the world, but hella cool to a nerd like me, deep in the throes of Westeros.

2 Assads and a Queen

So there's some stuff going on in Syria. Did you know? Do you care? Most Americans don't, I figure, unless it's for temporary political purposes. The Empire only cares for the Empire, at this point. Always a turning point, for the worst, in the history of Empires.

Those are the Assad boys at bottom. Bassel, the eldest and as such the heir apparent, is long dead, in a "car crash" some time ago. So Bashar's been in large and in charge since Dad died in the year.... 2000. Things went well for a while, even surviving the Empire's invasion of neighboring Iraq. But it's going down the shitter now, and I think the Assad's reign over Syria is near an end. I don't think what replaces it will be better at all, but that's the Middle East for you!

Also too, that of course is Freddie Mercury at top. Born Farrokh Bulsara, Freddie was perhaps the greatest rock n' roll showmen of all time, leader of one of the best rock bands of all time, Queen. Also gay - in fact, I'd say he looks to be the archetypal gay man, true or not. So now I have to ask what, if any, of the "gay look" descended from Freddie Mercury, and thus from his basic Arabness. Though he was in fact a Parsi and had nothing to do with Arabs or Islam. But these are trifling details! He looks Arab enough, compared to the Bassads, right? I have no idea where this photo comes from by the by. Trying to understand it. It's the sunglasses, mustache, and short dark hair. Pretty damn gay, Bashar!

Also as well - I recently read the best interview about Queen I've ever encountered, in Astronomy magazine, of all places. It was about Brian May - who's incredible. He got his PhD in Astrophysics and he completed it after Queen ended. He also built his own guitar (Red Special) with his Dad when he was 15 and has played it ever since. Awesome bloke. His PhD was about zodiacal dust, which sounds like an album name, but is also an awesome subject. Check it all out.

So there you have it. Whatever "it" is. Let me finish by saying I read Astronomy magazine regularly - I'm a subscriber! - but never Rolling Stone, even though somehow I've been getting issues sent to me for 3 years now, even though I never signed up for it nor have been billed or paid a bill. I look at the covers and go, "meh". I'm old enough now I no longer care what the young people think is interesting. So get off ah my cloud!