Boil the Bath Water

Aww, poor baby lobster, destined for the bubbles. Just remember, the screams you hear are simply gases escaping from its shells.

For real! I had the cliche childhood "Befriend a lobster only to lose him to the pot" experience, happily playing along only to have my friend ripped from my hands and thrown into the boiling turmoil, to a high pitched shriek. NOOOO! I never forgot you li'l buddy! And despite being from Maine and surrounded by lobster at all times, I never ate your brothers or sisters. Except once, but there was a good reason.

There's no good reason for this. Except the LULZ, of course. And as you know, that's more than enough.