Sometimes a Giant Cannon

Is just a giant cannon, and cannons need cannonballs, since otherwise, what's the point? Cool statue? Sure, but that's not why you make a cannon, especially a giant one. And this one here - in Russia - might be the biggest cannon in the world, meaning of course Russia has the biggest gun, ergo, the biggest dick in the world.

But really, not phallic!

Also, nice work on Vlad's part picking his puppet. You've got to have some real confidence - and leverage - to appoint someone to your rightful role as ruler of the Empire, and let them know they're just keeping the seat warm. They could, after all, get a bit hooked on the POWER and then make a move on you. Wonder what the deal was? Doubt we'll ever know, though I assume violence and murder is implicit in it. Isn't it always, ultimately?