Asteroids - The Movie!

Seriously. Universal Studios has an Asteroids movie in the works, after winning an intense bidding war for the rights. Yes, indeed, an Asteroids movie. Here's a "leak".

Now, back in the day, and many days after that day, I was something of an Asteroids wiz -- I have achieved the second highest score possible in the game (99,980; 99,990 is the highest possible score in Asteroids, as the score goes back to 0 once you hit 100K). Now, getting this score takes a lot of skill, as you have to selectively shoot targets in a very controlled manner in order to get that score and not roll over. So, bravo me!

In order to become good at Asteroids, it is necessary to play a lot of Asteroids. A lot. And so I did, and while playing, a lot, I came up with a plausible back story: The Asteroids are the nursery of the alien ships; the human based triangles have invaded this alien space, and are engaging a genocidal war against said peaceful, asteroid dwelling aliens. Having no choice but to defend themselves, they launch their lame spacecraft to try and take out the evil human triangle ships. While achieving some success against less experienced pilots, alas, they are fairly helpless against Aces. And thus, the genocide against the Asteroid Aliens continues apace....


Don't think the Hollywood version will use that plot however; but close -- they will invert the good/evil focus no doubt, such that the aliens have launched an Asteroid cloud at earth in order to destroy it, and a brave group of humans (Vin Diesel, Nic Cage, and Megan Fox) are all that stands in the way of humanity's end. Think it will have a happy ending? Sequel bait (the sequel will of course involve the adding of shields to the triangle ships)?

Finally, never forget: Hyperspace is for emergencies only.