Dem monkeys is smaht

Word from the frontiers of science:

According to a report in the journal Current Biology, the 31-year-old alpha male started building his weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a "hailstorm" of rocks against visitors, the study said.

"These observations convincingly show that our fellow apes do consider the future in a very complex way," said the author of the report, Lund University Ph.D. student Mathias Osvath. "It implies that they have a highly developed consciousness, including lifelike mental simulations of potential events.

This is but the penultimate step before we are forced into full scale war versus the Simians -- hear me now, Apes: We will not let you catch us unawares!

Of course, the last step is fire: If them monkeys ever start making and managing fires,we must engage in a preemptive War of Human Freedom against said monkeys. Don't wait until there is a mushroom cloud over every human city!

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