New Years Resolutions

2014 is the year I get a prostate exam!

You should get one too, if you have a prostate.

State of the Internet 2014

Merry New Year 2014!

Rule 34 2013

Hello, Internet. I am one of your many Kings, and I greet you both as Ruler and Servant. For today's lesson, let's consider Rule 34, which states: If it exists, there is porn of it.

Above is Admiral Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager. A Simpson's joke, but it's no joke. Of course there is Janeway porn.

Click below for a wicked tease of Rule 34!

Nice night for a walk

The Terminator, I'd argue, is an enormously important film not only because it's awesome, but because it launched the idea of the ROBOT APOCALYPSE into popular consciousness. And since it came out in 1984, that idea has spread and taken root - we all know of it. Many joke about it. Some work to bring it about.

I say to you, fellow meatbags! The future is

Terminator in the Woods

Trophies of his victims. Sick stuff man.

White Forest

I worry about the birds out in the forest. What do they do? How do they stay warm? Poor little birds.

All the poor little creatures out in the snow.

Obligatory Xmas Post

May your Christmas tree not catch on fire. Seriously, Christmas trees are extremely flammable so use caution all through the holiday season.

I think most people dislike Christmas, but don't want to say it. A silent majority, if you will. But the kids love it, so we all oblige.

Born Again

The longest night has passed, and our days grow longer. Slowly, to be sure, and months more of crushing Winter just now officially begins. But be of good cheer, we are reborn! And this is the true reason for the season.

Protip: The BNP is racist as hell.

Merry X-Mas!

Letting Go

I'm not sure if this is a Buddhist tradition, or an Indian tradition, but regardless, it's beautiful. Little candles that create fragile balloons which float off into the sky (probably landing and starting brush fires).

We are little candles that float in this world, for a time. This world is a little candle that floats in space, for a time. We're all just points of light, floating.

Illusion is Reality

His meritorious achievements are vast;
His wisdom is deep and sublime.
His light, with awe-inspiring glory,
Shakes the universe of a thousand million worlds.
I resolve to become a Buddha,
Equal in attainment to you, O holy king of the Dharma,
To save living beings from birth-and-death,
And to lead them all to emancipation.

Reality is an Illusion

It appears the stars are spinning through the night. There's nothing your senses can detect that says otherwise. You also know the sun moves, and have built a monument to showcase this movement - every Winter and Summer the sun will shine precisely so.

But this is all illusion.

It is we who are spinning, though you could never tell - do you feel like you're spinning at a thousand miles an hour?

So here's the amusing truth of it: You must have faith that science is true, or at least is the path of truth. That it is not the stars or sun spinning, but us, goes against your common sense. It goes against all intuition. It goes against our language - we say the sun rises and sets, when in truth it does no such thing. But you can't tell, you can't feel or see or hear the Earth whirling around in space.

And so you must have faith. In Science. Amen.

Orbital

It's an orbit joke - right? Say hey have you heard of the rogue captured? Jah, it's a shame.

Bow Shock

I like to think of stars as the basic building block of the Universe. Not sure if this is an accepted opinion, but I think it works. Everything revolves around stars - planetary systems like ours, and all life here on Earth and maybe on the 1000+ exoplanets discovered to date (there's billions more - current consensus is just about every star has planets).

Here, you see a star in its larger environment - ginormous gas clouds. Stars are born from these clouds, they shape and influence these clouds, and their death creates new clouds. Above you see a star affecting a larger gas cloud environment, creating a bow shock in the clouds - just like a boat creates a bow shock in water, or a wind turbine creates a bow shock in the air, stars are shaping the larger environments in which they find themselves. Here's another example.

Anywhere there are stars and gas clouds, you'll see bow shocks.

We exist in a sea of gas - we come from this gas. Gas!

These clouds are primarily hydrogen, but also contain everything that would make up a star and its planets - iron, silver, gold, carbon, everything.

Big Sis

Say hi to our big Sister, the Sun. And it is our Sister (or Brother if you like) and not our parent, as the Sun and the planets all formed from the same ginormous cloud of gas. The Sun took up most of that cloud, but every single planet, moon, comet and asteroid came from the same cloud. Even you, roundaboutly.

Like all "things" - stars and planets and you included - the Sun is the result of a series of reactions held in balance. In the case of a star, this balance is composed of the inward pressure of gravity, and the outward pressure of fusion. As such, the heart of a star is quite small compared to its overall size, thanks to this simple process:

Fusion. Just a couple of atoms bouncing off one another with enough energy (because of the inward pressure of gravity) and kabloom! Fusion, the heart of a star, and thus the heart of all life. Fusion releases enormous amounts of energy, and that energy is the star, and all its light, in all frequencies.

These frequencies are the electromagnetic spectrum, from radio waves to microwaves to visible light - what we see - to ultraviolet, x-rays, and finally gamma rays. All seen here. Each frequency reveals different information, and thus astronomers use a variety of detection methods to learn not only about the sun, but everything.

We exist in a living miracle. It's pretty cool.

Every Sunrise

Every sunrise is a new beginning, each and every day a rebirth.

Temple of the Sun

Let our new temples be thermal solar collectors, generating clean electricity for a post-carbon world. Ramen.

Look upon my works

Consider how long and difficult it was to build this prohibition tower. All so other people didn't have fun.

Pyramid Power

I ironically agree with all of this save for the Queen of England at the top. C'mon! Rupert Murdoch has more pull than the Queen of England for crikey's sake.

Pretty much true, sorry if that offends your bourgeois sensibilities.

This is actual fact, not conjecture. For America - land of the free.

Begging To Climb

It's an understandable urge, if you're not afraid of heights: To climb a prominent landmark. Back in flapper days I'm sure this was cool, but today?

Not cool!

I mean, yeah, it's cool, but NOT COOL! Every single person who climbs the pyramids damages them to some degree - it cannot be avoided. Since they are a treasure beyond price, they must be protected for the future.

Speaking of our glorious future, did you hear about the Mayan temple that got torn down for rocks to use in a new road?

Save our temples!

Magic!

Yeah, I'm not sure either. That's the point I think.

Now, watch this drive!

Come Together

There is magic, so you know. Click here to find out how.

Magic herbs 24/7. It's only natural.

Your Terrorist is my Nobel Peace Prize Winner

RIP. A great man who fought an evil cause. And in so doing employed violence and gathered what allies he could. Fighting evil leads to many grey areas, since, when is violence ever "good"? But if the end result of violence leads to a greater good, isn't it for the best then? Big questions.

And a big impact. Ask yourself if you'd be prepared to give up most of your life in the name of a cause, and then have your actions inspire billions? Only a few get asked, and even fewer can eventually say yes.

From zero to hero

Charlton Heston. You might remember him as the leader of the NRA as it turned crazy, epitomized by his quote "I'll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands".

A hero to the wingnuts, of course. America, personified. Get your damn hands off me, you dirty ape! But wipe away the fog of Wingnut mythology and remember the "Charlton" of yore.

Charlton marching on DC for Civil Rights.

Charlton protesting in OK for Civil Rights.

Charlton picketing for Worker's Rights.

What happened, Charlton?
What happened, America? Why did you go mad, infecting so many people with madness?

And what kind of name is Charlton? Sounds like prep school. Not rugged American gun owner.

A different sort of nerd

The angry white male political nerd, aka, Wingnuts, Teabaggers, Birchers, Freepers, fascist tools. They don't take as many selfies as the young MLP nerds, but then, give them a break - they're all old.

And angry. And easily parted with their scant dollars - yes, you too can join the "President's Enemy List" with a 25$ gift to Freerepublic.com. Freepathon is happening, folks, and without 100K per quarter, Obama and the Demoncrats win.

And often fat, like most nerds. Here's a "patriot" screaming at traitors during one of Johnny Mac's straight shootin' town halls. Just waking up the sheeple.

I'm Out (Abysses)

Fred was right. You fight monsters long enough, you become a monster. Or in this case, you search down nerd pics long enough...

Then a nerd you become. And I don't want to be a 21st century nerd. So I'm off this topic, dropping this

Dome arigato, ninjakutu roboto.

Class of 14 rules!