Everything's Dinosaurs

Every bird you know is a dinosaur descendent. Turtles too. A shorter list would be "Who's not related to dinosaurs?"

Shit's dinotastic.

Lessons from St. Ronaldus

I just finished the book Nixonland and highly recommend. Kinda scary. But relevant to our times, for we are living in the reality of the true Revolution of the 1960's, and that was the Conservative (Wingnut) Revolution. The Triumph of the John Birch Brigade. Three men were in large part responsible for this Revolution - Goldwater, who was rightly considered the loon he was; Nixon, of course, who was a grab bag of resentments and hypocrisy, and good old St. Ronnie, who coulda run for President in 1968 and probably won. What Reagan gave us was the victory of the actor.

 An actor with little knowledge of the issues but with a good sense on how to move a crowd. An entertainer's skill transferred to politics. The politician as actor, the actor as politician - none of it real, all a facade, an empty chalice in which the Agenda (plot) is poured within. And so today, we have the Republican Party, devoted to the legacy of The Great Man Reagan, giving us

Sarah Palin, defender of Big Gulps and

chewing tobacco. Yay, chaw! Freedom to be fat and get mouth cancer then go die and in the street cuz you ain't takin' no OBAMERCARE! Yeehaw, America!

The Know Nothings are here, and proud of it.

Let us bask in their good natured humor and civic spirit! Cheers!

Have a drink with the Turtle. He'll filibuster his portion of the tab.

If you recall, humor was Reagan's main charm. And he was good at it, relatively. Today's Repukes? Not so much. Do you know of any truly funny right wingers? And for that, again, we should feel blessed with good fortune.

Animal Memeorama '12

If all the bad shit that happens = 100, what percentage of said bad shit happens whilst the actor is drunk? 70%? 80? It's up there, for alcohol unleashes man's natural animal, and declares: Run amok!

Serious frog doesn't drink nor smoke. What he does is get things done, healthy and happy. But so boring, right? Cuz if it

Then it should be done! Is that not our genes declaring "More!"? And they run the show. So if feels good man, do it.

The collective future of animal life on earth depends on each of us pursuing our pleasure. Sex, and all attendant behaviors, which are legion. But oh noes1! Say the religious fussbodies! Sexy time is only between married turtles, otherwise it's a sin. And drinking and the Rock and/or Roll? Blasphemy! Hellfire! Yadda yadda, leave a pamphlet.

Termitortoise

The Termitortoise.

Listen, and understand! That Termitortoise is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Could be said of all reptiles, really. Ever seen a "pet" lizard? Dude is cold blooded, and don't give a shit about you except for the food.

Take home lesson? Don't fuck with tortoise. Turtles, on the other hand, are eminently fuck with-able. But please don't, as they're so cool, and hapless, as previously discussed.

Turtle Time!

I've got a soft spot for turtles. A pity, kind of. They're so slow and silly most of the time, though the snapping ones can be frightening. But even they are cool, because all turtles are cool. Yay, turtles!

Feels good, man.

The Universe!

Mother tortoise to an orphaned hippo. Aww! For now at least. There's a break up in their future, unavoidable.  Still sad though, for poor orphan hippo. The tortoise will probably be psyched.

Mystery turtle on the lam.

Pacific Trash Vortex

Aye, in the Pacific but in fact in all oceans, to a lesser degree, a great vortex of trash has formed over the past 50 years and only gets bigger every successive year. Due to currents, but you are not destined by currents unless you want to be. And you don't want to poison/starve cute little turtles, do you?

Reduce, reuse, recycle!

Duck Hemisphere

Your eyes don't lie, right? It's a duck, or some sort of water fowl. I never knew - never even dreamed, really - we could all be but lice on a duck's feathers. But hey, if it's turtles all the way down, why not duck continents too, and we but bugs crawling on its surface? Or some such.

Deal with it

Frog stack baby!

That's where it's at in terms of hauling babies - just keep stackin' 'em. You know you get money from the frog government for every frog baby you can stack on your head? You go girl!

Also too for extra bonus coda:

Imagine a turtle at every point in space time - at the Planck Scale. Then perhaps you can see how it's turtles all the way down.

Model of the Universe

So, this here is a LITERAL model of the Universe. First, there's God - that's the hand, as in He has us all in His hands. Next, of course, is a turtle, as everything rests on a turtle, not only all the way down, but get this, all the way up too. And also, God loves turtles. Next is the Earth, here represented by a frog since Earth is made up of both land and water, and only frogs can live in both. Finally, there's an evil spider, representing wicked mankind. God hates spiders, as every child knows, and He hates Sin, and so since mankind was born into Sin because of that terrible Eve, we are unto spiders, hideous creatures scuttling about hiding from the light of Truth.

My goto guy Jonathan Edwards said it best:

The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his eyes, than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours.

So wise up, wicked Sinners: We are but Spiders sitting on Frogs riding on Turtles, all held in the shaking hand of a terribly Angry God. Repent now!

Or soon. Whatevs. It doesn't matter, since the shit's all Predestined anyways. Am I right Calvin?

There is no Truth but what you make

Are you sure it's not? Do you yourself have a single iota of proof otherwise? No! You don't, and so who's to say it's not true? Oh sure, some "scientists" from LIBERAL UNIVERSITIES who hate FREEDOM and THE BIBLE. But they have a LIBERAL AGENDA and who can trust them? Not me, not the folks I know. So turtles it is, all the way down.

And this is true about most things - all things? You, a sentient human being, must agree to accept something as true. How you go about doing that is up to you, up to your close contacts, your culture, your age, your era, etc. Everything's a factor. For example, you personally have no experience of the Earth rotating. For everything you can tell with your senses, the sun and moon and stars above rotate around us. How could this not be? And thus to believe this is not so, that we do in fact rotate around the sun, you must ignore your own common sense and believe someone else. Belief.

We hear what we want to hear and see things through a prism named us. But this is all sophistry, is it not? Solipsism, the natural state of man. For perhaps that's true - nothing exists without us and our opinions.

We're left grasping in the dark, always. Perhaps we come closer to something like a real Truth, but who could ever be sure - this reality is vast beyond our comprehension. We stumble on, trying this and that, coming up with better tools for survival - and survival is the name of the game. Science is one of the greatest tools for our survival (and destruction), for ultimately it is an entire way of thinking - hypothesis, testing and experiment, re-hypothesize, test again, and keep on refining, asking why. Through this process, we evolve. But there's no end, and we must always be aware of the forces of ignorance.

Next time you hear the phrase "The God Particle", think of this. For there is no such particle.