Temple of the Sun

Let our new temples be thermal solar collectors, generating clean electricity for a post-carbon world. Ramen.

Now's not the time for fear

What a delightful photoshop! And such a delectable pun! Bane.

Bain Capital is where Mitt made the majority of his bones, leveraging troubled companies to squeeze every sweet dollar out of them before shutting them down or re-organizing them as something much worse than before. Vampire capitalism, preying on the old and weak.

Bane: "A person or thing that ruins or spoils.". Bain has become one of Mitt's banes, and to think it was supposed to be one of his notable achievements! But he has quite a few banes these days, indeed, his entire resume is a bane he pretends to shed whenever possible, but how can one rid one's self of the very things one touts as reason to be the most powerful man in the world? Mitt can't talk up Bain, can't talk up his Governorship of MA, can't talk up his high standing in the Mormon Church, and no longer can talk up his "saving" of the Winter Olympics (cuz it was saved with sweet, sweet free taxpayer money). It's incredible, really. Flabbergasting that this man is running for President! I thank FSM for such a gift.

And finally, Bane: Villain in the latest Batman movie. An intriguing villain. I liked the movie, but wasn't crazy about it. It also seems to have exited pop consciousness remarkably fast, which is never good these days. I really dug the jacket above, and wait to see if an internet prediction comes true: That style jacket will be "a thing" this winter. I doubt it, but we shall see if pop consciousness has forgotten Bane, or not.

A political pop consciousness thing: Dogs against Romney. If you hadn't heard, one day way back when Mitt regaled a reporter in Boston with a homespun, down to salt of the earth tale of the family vacation in the old roadster, driving to Canada. He kept his dog, Seamus, in a cage tied to the roof for the trip, even after he got sick and shit everywhere - never fear! Mitt hosed it all away and resumed the trip, Seamus still roof-bound. Egads, right? Funniest thing is Mitt told this tale as if it were a heartwarming anecdote, a sure fire way to connect to "The Common Man". Oh, Mitt!  Read all about it here.

Oh Mitt, you cad! Have you heard about all the funny pranks young Mitt used to pull? Pretending to be a State Trooper? Shaving a hippy? Protesting FOR the Vietnam War, then heading to France on a Mormon mission (the phrase you're looking for is "Greg Marmalard)? As you can see, Mitt's got character in spades! Character plus experience equals the best President Amercia can buy!

LOL. What's been even more hilarious is how awful Mitt's campaign has been. Chock a'block with stupid mistakes - like misspelling "America" in the campaign app. I mean, c'mon! It's Palinesque! And there's been dozens of mistakes like this, and worse.

It's a 'shop, actually, but that doesn't matter anymore. "The Stench" has become the caricature, because Mitt Romney IS a living caricature.

Momjeans = common touch! LOL.

Man of the people indeed.

I almost feel sorry for Mitt, because in a sane world he'd be a decent candidate - he's certainly got the hair for it. But this is not a sane world, not the Repuglican side of it anyways, and thus Mitt is forced to be insane (if he's not truly - who knows with a robot?), and by being insane, and no good at it, he's guaranteed to lose. Catch 22, Willard! You're caught in a trap and there's no way out.

Thank FSM again! While I think Barack Obama has done a FANTASTIC job in his first term, I grant that Fox Nation has done an equally good job in laying the FUDD so thick that many think he's done poorly. And so if there were a solid Repuglican candidate this year, they would have had a good chance of unseating President Obama. Alas and bless Shesah, Mitt is the candidate instead, and he's terrible, and yet still the best of that rotted bunch. Which tells you all you need to know about the state of the Repuglican Party today: Rotten.

MEGAPETA

Hippie chicks - it's what's for dinner. Or so it appears. I have no idea what the story is behind this picture, so one must assume the obvious: She taped food on her body then waited for a bunch of racoons to show up and eat off of her, while a friend took a photo. How odd! I like "the idea" of racoons very much. No way I'd let one crawl on me, let alone a "gaze" of raccoons. Yes, "gaze". Look it up. I don't know who came up with animal group names. I don't know a lot of things, and like Socrates, it's a badge of honor: There's always so much more to learn!

I do know I love the prefix/word  "mega", as in, awesome, to the max. That's subjective opinion, however, but then, isn't a great deal of our knowledge? Most of history, for example, to different degrees. What is real, Neo?

Also too: I love PETA, and all their crazy hijinks. Someone needs to push the envelope of collective consciousness in a good way, hard, cuz FSM knows the forces of Darkness are pushing as hard as they can, all the time. Meat is murder, man, and fur is dead. Maybe this pic is some PETA prank.

And to finish: A "wisdom" of wombats? C'mon!

Just a sip

Surprisingly, water tornadoes don't suck up to much water. Who knew? Science, that's who. The cloud you see in a water vortex is condensation due to the extreme pressure/temperature difference within the vortex and without. It does kick up a lot of water on the outside of the funnel, and so too any poor water creature caught in the path - hence raining frogs. But just a sip of water upwards, as the tornado is a downward event.

Imagine you were a sailor some 10,000 years ago, in a small craft of handmade design, and you came upon a waterspout. Angry Gods, right? And that's where science precisely sets us free - what was once mysterious and full of evil portent can be explained naturally. Anything and everything can be explained rationally if the eye of science is turned upon it. Eventually. And it is confidence in this process - science - which sets us free from all prior dogma and belief. This belief - in the scientific process - is our salvation. Ramen!

#Occupy Jupiter

It's true. Jupiter is far bigger than all the other planets put together. Its system of moons and smaller moons and more little tiny moons is its own planetary system. For you see, Jupiter could have been a star. Just a bit more mass, a little more spinning, and fusion would have lit. But alas, not enough gas, Jupiter was kicked out of Stellar U and now must walk among we, the discarded. But as a King, Boss Hogg of Sol's System.

And this is the chain of our existence. Dig it: From quarks and electrons, joining to form atoms, atoms joining to form molecules, molecules joining to form complex bonds, and based on their composition, we have our world and everything in it - rock, water, air, tree, you, me, even your pee. Complex groupings of molecular bonds.

Now, above you and me is space, vast and full of everything. Great, gigantic clouds of hydrogen light years long start to spin, perhaps disturbed by a nearby nova, and in the spinning the denser material falls towards the center of the spiral in ever increasing mass, causing ever greater heat, so on and such until there is a new joining, a new bond: Fusion. And fusion produces pretty much all of the energy you see around you. That makes you up. Energy and matter is our reality.

But fusion is not the end, for when the supernova collapses it can go one of two ways: A neutron star - a tripped out ball of neutrons (no atoms) spinning so fast yet so regularly they can be used as interstellar clocks. No bigger than Manhattan, they are denser than our entire solar system.

OR, a Black Hole.

Which is the ultimate break with this reality of ours - for everything goes in, the BH can get bigger or smaller, quieter or more active, like a "thing", but all of the energy and matter that falls in to it appears gone, into nothingness - for there is no such thing as a Black Hole, just its effects on gravity. The so called "Singularity" at the center of a Black Hole is just a placeholder word, since no one has any real idea. Our physics says it is of zero space yet infinite mass, which is absurd. You can't measure it directly, since it is literally a hole - everything falls through. And so either our mathematical theories are wrong, or we just don't have a clue. Yet. Science will find a way, eventually.

So, from electron to Black Hole and everything in between - this is our reality from start to end and swirls so large and endless around us, be of good cheer, for you are here, in this amazing grace, able to appreciate it. From time to time. Ramen.

Two Roads Lay

I delved deep into the vast photo archive that is my hard drive, growing ever larger by the day, searching for the next step, as this blog is an ever going series of steps, one to the next. And yay, is not this life as well? Anywho, I divined two roads, leading in different directions, each with merit and hints of providence. I pondered overlong, then realized I could go all Gordian Knot on this jam and roll with both. For all things are possible on the Tubes. RAmen.

Old lovers dug up from the sands of time. Dust and ashes is true enough, as the Bible says, since we are made up of dust and ashes from Supernova that produced the heavy elements that make up our entire world and everything on it. And assuredly we will return to this dust and ashes, just like our entire world will be reduced back to dust and ashes with the Red Giant phase of the Sun.

We are dust and ashes given life, given time to move, and think, and be, however brief.

And while we dance and sing today, consider ALL the people that lived before - like this couple, circa 30,000 BC (not this picture, just for example). A guy and and a gal in love, trying to make their way in this crazy world of saber tooth tigers and weird ass CAVEPEOPLE (Neanderthals), among many other perils. They were just like you and me, and no doubt shared many of the same hopes and dreams, however distantly removed. For you, me, all the people ever to have lived, stretching backs hundreds of thousands of years of men and women falling in love and fucking, bringing forth the next generation of people, as dictated by the genes. Sex is why we're here, and what we're here to do. Love is the engine created by evolution to foster this sweaty endeavour. And lust. And probably the desire to party, for by the party one can bring forth the sexy time sure enough.

Mathew Stafford, QB of the NFL sporting concern "Detroit Lions". Good team. Good QB. Megatron rules. But from the looks of it, frat boy jock douche. But such is the way of things, the way of the genes. Proof of fitness is guaranteed to attract the sexy time and the sexy time is all the genes ultimately care about - everything else is a means to this end: To Bed. So enjoy your time in the sun, Mathew Stafford. For time's sandpaper will find you too, as it will find us all, and grind us up into Pink Himalayan Salt. That's Knowshon Moreno above, as well. F'ing Fratboys!

Also too, how about a snake orgy?

That's some hot snake action, amirite?

Would have been a Viking

But now just a nerd, and FSM bless him. An able example of how culture shapes us - 600 years or so ago this giant happy Norwegian nerd would no doubt have been a pillaging Viking, hell bent on burning and raping and some of that old time destruction, like his Fathers before him.

Progress, you see? We're slowly becoming a more peaceful species. But there's gonna be some bumps in the road along the way.

You're Not Supposed to Kill Your Goldstein

Here's Osama on his 3rd date with Zawahiri - he let him hold his gun. But seriously, do you think these men think they're monsters, or do you think they feel justified in their actions? Remember, even young Osama had dreams of flower power and groovy rock n' roll:

The internet tells me that smiling lad in the circle is a young Osama Bin Laden. Austin Powers style. Like all supposed monsters, he was a young man once, no doubt concerned about getting laid. But something happened, something learned, some spirit took hold and he went off to fight instead, and once you get used to violence, more violence is always easier, and mayhaps predictable. So, James Bond Villain style, Osama and his gang took on the World, and well, they're still holding their own. And, more crucially, our world has changed because of Osama's war:

Our society, Western society in general, has lost much in this war. We've become desensitized, beaten down, made to cower and worry in fear. Our media feeds us daily hates and THINGS THAT WILL KILL YOU and everything seems so much more extreme, in every way.

Except, thank FSM, we have this guy, this Obama guy. He's like magic, I tell you, and I feel we rolled triple 6's in this wacky game of Risk we call "Our Lives" and got the perfect leader. I knew Obama was the real deal way back, and so am almost never surprised by anything he does anymore. He's incredible  - consider, he was roasting Trump and being roasted himself all the while this Operation Kill Goldstein was getting prepped and ready. He was calling the shots every step of the way. He was laughing at an Osama joke - ha. He's so cool, our Prez, Barack Hussein Obama. Damn!

The Force is strong in this one. If you'd like to know more about President Obama's policies, or history, or anything, feel free to ask. I love talking Obama!

This is one of the first pics of Obama I ever did download. 12/07/07, in a store in Iowa. Keepin' it real.

Think any of this will change any wingnut's minds?

I doubt it. I doubt many things these days - like war can ever end, or even slow down anymore. Small wars, mind you. Nothing that would truly disrupt global business. The Military Industrial Complex is deeply entrenched in every major country, and there's no putting that genie back in the bottle. So Obama can try and wind down all these wars - and hey, maybe not get involved in any more? And did I mention I am a SUPER HIPPY? I amaze myself with this, but it's true. If I had my wish, there'd be no more war, and we'd all live in peace and fellowship with the other, working for the common good, all of our needs met and our lives filled with pleasure and satisfaction...

But yes, I also realize we live in a hard world, with hard men, in hard times. The kind of men who put a bullet into the eye socket of OBL last night.

Sadly, we've created legions of these guys. Goons, willing and able to do almost anything, violent. And they probably think like mercenaries  too - and Lord Knows there's lots of new mercenary outfits out there. Why not? The USA is more than willing to outsource the killing and torture. Money talks.

Think of what the last decade has done - all the war, the random bombings, the torture, the real and manufactured fear, it's all added up to a fundamentally changed world. We're a more extreme place these days, with tactics improved, ways of killing improved, ways of seeing and hiding and plotting improved... it's not good stuff, but some of it may turn out to be good in the end. We'll see, won't we? At least there will be lots of explosions - always fun!

Also, too: When Bush just simply stopped caring about OBL, circa 2003, I figured it was per the orders from the secret powers: Having OBL alive and out there was far more valuable to the Cause than killing/capturing him. The "Cause" was ruining this country and making themselves incredibly rich. This of course was the role Emmanual Goldstein played in the book 1984, which, again, if you've not read since High School, you should give it a go again. It's fantastic, and terrifying. Because the Right is using it like a playbook, and it's working.

So, this morning, I woke up wondering how the Right would mock or otherwise dismiss this moment for Obama. And there you have it: You're not supposed to kill your Goldstein, you fool!

(Also, also: Your connection to this post is "Bearded Crazy Religious Men".)

Mayday! 3 Weeks Left for Sinnin'

Less than three weeks, actually. So get it now while you can, repent at the last minute, and then get raptured alongside all those Saintly suckers who've been living the Holy life their whole lives... fools! Last minute is the best minute.

I've been following this 05/21/11 apocalypse cult a bit more, and was surprised to learn this is a nationwide, maybe even international movement. Not just some crazy church and a billboard. I'd link you to some of their sites, but frankly I don't want to give the wackos any extra energy.

All you really need to know is for no obvious reason, these Fundie Wackjobs think Jesus will be back on 5/21, with The Rapture - never mentioned in the Bible, by the way - and then 6 months or so of terror and horror as demons and evil runs rampant across the land, with the world being utterly destroyed in October - apparently, there's still a chance to get into Heaven after this period if you were not at first Raptured.

There's little chance the arrival of 5/22 and no Jesus will convince these fools to abandon their various insanities, so might as well mock them, right? I mean, look at these vehicles:

Surprisingly, it goes on and on like this. Who knew?

Well, I'm off to sin. Back in a while.

Raptor Jesus Hungers for your Sins

He suffered for YOUR sins. He also worked up a mighty appetite while doing so.

Don't you want to get closer to Raptor Jesus?

Unless you're Muslim, of course - it's all good. You get your own terrible lizard. Everyone does!


Also: This Raptor Jesus thing is big on the internet. Proving for the billionth time why I love these tubes so.

Flying Spaghetti Monster wishes you Happy Holidays!

May the FSM bring you many spicy treats!

Thank You Anonymous, from The Internet

I did indeed ask, and now I have received. Thanks!


Note to those not yet hip to the FSM: The joke is very simple: Put in the Flying Spaghetti Monster anywhere God or Jesus or Allah or whatever other religious figure would appear normally. Then, consider the ridiculousness of it. That's the joke -- that all Gods are jokes, so why not have one made of spaghetti and meatballs? Makes as much sense as any other God.

Ida

Say hello to Ida, a 47 Million old ancestor of yours. She was very young when she died - tragically, no doubt - and still had a little meal of berries and leaves in her belly when she plunged into an 800 foot lake and sank to the bottom, there to be buried under 47 million years of sediment. Hence the rocky look.

Ida is a big deal, and will no doubt cause many textbooks to be re-written. But here's something that I learned while reading up on Ida, and human evolution in general.

The key point is (JESUS FREAKS! DO NOT READ FURTHER!!!): We not only descended from a common monkey ancestor (and not directly Ida above -- she is way, way up the human evolutionary tree) but, and here's the point, we ARE monkeys. Still. Right now, you and me. Monkeys. Just really really smart monkeys.

And one of our biggest advantages over our monkey brethren, and perhaps the only thing that truly separates us from them, is our collective ability to store information outside of our bodies. Think about it: When born, we are provided (for the most part) the collective wisdom of those that came before us. The internet makes this real easy. But few - no? - other animals can do this. The best they could hope for is a small oral lesson from their parents. Other than that, it's all genetic information, and whatever the creature can learn during it's life.

We, on the other hand, do not have to reinvent the wheel or agriculture or math or anything really - it's all there for us, waiting. We can add to it of course.

To wit: Our true "human" evolution only began with the advent of the earliest writing/painting/art, for that is the medium outside of ourselves in which we can store information for others. Before that, we lived much like other monkeys, save for the awesome luxury of fire and spears. Thus, our true evolution is only 40-70 thousand years old, and really only kick started in the last 8-10 thousand years. A blink of an eye in the scale of it all.

Feel free to disagree!

May FSM Bless You

A fun game! Whenever you see or hear a reference to God, Jesus, Allah, Etc, replace the particular deity with the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Everything seems kinda foolish, yes?

Inclusion

Here's hoping Obama remembers all FSM's children at his Inauguration; FSM knows Rick Warren cannot cover them all.


And FSM wishes you all Happy Meaningless Days!