No Escape

In the future, every camera will see at least one other camera.

Not even the ocean will be safe, thanks to 1st Lt. Flipper and friends.

Yesterday's sensation

Dinosaurs once ruled the Earth for millions of years. But look at them now - utterly defeated by mammals. There's life lessons here!

Everything's Dinosaurs

Every bird you know is a dinosaur descendent. Turtles too. A shorter list would be "Who's not related to dinosaurs?"

Shit's dinotastic.

Diligent (Sponsored By)

This photo has been begging to join our blog, for years now. Look at the irony, it said! Finally, I agree. But only ironically.

All life is precious

Did you know both the Republican party and major religious groups did not care about abortion until the late 70's? Concurrent with the Presidency of Democrat, Jimmy Carter. And then one St. Ronaldus Maximus Reaganus used this issue as a wedge (among many) and won huge victories. And now we live in the heights of abortion as a political issue.

My stand on abortion: I wish no one had to have one, but if a woman chooses to, that's her right and she's got final say.

The Republican Party doesn't really care about abortions (they like them too, personally, for their daughters and mistresses), but boy do they love it as a political hand grenade.

Also, it's cool mammals look pretty identical at a certain stage of development. Proof of common descent - Oh! Evolution. Something else Republicans pretend to care about for political purposes.

Yay Bats!

Look at the development of a cute bat embryo! Or also, Bat See No Evil...

Aww! There are certain bats called "Flying Foxes". See why? And everyone loves foxes, right? Except chicken owners. But who loves chicken owners? No one, not really. They may love the eggs, but not the chickens.

I hope the Russians love walruses too

Fashion Walrus is ready for his closeup.

Ready for some sun! Your Russian Navy at work in the Arctic. And in the Antarctic?

Bust o' Lenin, chilling out. Never forget, comrades:

For men and walruses.

Bonus question: Any common derivation of Rus (tribe of, founders of Russia) and wal-rus? They're both from the cold part of the world. What if they're like related or something? Weird!

Family is what you make it

Or, longer.

This appears to be an adult cat suckling or pseudo-suckling three Ryan Goslings (he's a thing, right? Mary Hartman help me!).

Proving that the mother instinct overrides the predator instinct. Which makes sense - the mother instinct comes from the oldest mammal relative. It's one of the mammalian defining features. Whereas predation is a general skill practiced by all higher level species regardless of families - the strong feed on the week.

Thus, one of the defining features of mammalian behavior is caring for the young, and not just necessarily your young. The root of compassion.

Birds exhibit many similar behaviors to mammals in the loving scale, but I suspect they're faking them all. As they all are monsters, down to the cutest of them. Don't trust birds, man.

This owl, for example, is just biding time before wrecking that gosling's life - not just by killing, but a long slow, torturous psychological undoing. Then killing. Owl's are twisted.

Friends where you find them

Two different examples of dogs and leopards getting along famously. Are there more? I assume we'd only hear about the successful ones.

Theory: If you raise any mammal with a different mammal from day one, they will be friendly towards each other for a good while, even if it is against their nature. For example, raise a lion with a lamb and I bet they'd pal around. For awhile. Or how about a monkey and a dog?

Monkey tickling a puppy. Life! What a thing!

This theory only applies to mammals. Reptiles, fish, all the slimy stuff in the ocean, and most birds, don't give a damn, and will eat their own brothers and sisters if need be as soon as hatched from the shell. Lesson: Eggs are evil. Trust not creatures hatched therefrom!

Cuteness Incoming

How's that for cuteness? Puppies and kitties is all it takes, really, and most everyone will melt. Why is that? What is it about young mammals that makes us all respond universally? I know the answer, by the way.

All mammals share the same baby characteristics. As such, all mammals feel for other mammals. Peace and love, mammals!

And deliciousness. With some cheese and peppers and onions. Or pretend versions of the same. [studio audience]LOL[/studio audience]

Clown Monster

Available for Birthday Parties, Bar Mitzvahs, and Kindergarten Graduation Celebrations!

Thesis: There's "culture" fears, and instinctive, primal fears. Example: Fear of clowns is a culture fear, particular to our time. Before clowns, before jesters, there was no such fear.  Fear of snakes or snake creatures is universal and genetic, species wide, spanning the entirety of humanity. Fear of reptiles is hardwired into all mammals, based on those bad old times some 80 million years ago.

Culture fears bubble up out of the primal realm, assuming different forms based on the time and society, but always connected to a primal fear. Fear of clowns, for example? Fear of the Other/the Absurd (no control). Anyone not in your tribe, and acting all freaky n' shit, is an instant ENEMY. This covers lots of cultural fears, of course.

All that said, damn ain't clowns scary as heck?!

My Boyfriend's Wife Hates Me

And why shouldn't she? I mean, c'mon! That's not even fair in the least bit. But if you look at all mammal species, the males usually sow their oats wide and far. Humans are culturally restricted to monogamy, but you can tell/feel how men want to spread like Johnny Appleseed. I propose a Truth: Align your ways, your laws, with human nature. Understand that we really are just hairless monkeys given the gift of awareness, and with that gift technology, and aye, cameras everywhere.

We can capture every moment as it happens, as with naughty monkey here, cheeky bastard. The future is bright for absurd internet pictures.

Male Mammals will be Male Mammals

Pick a mammal species and odds are the males are douchebags to some degree, engaging in all sorts of stupid behaviors - seriously, like those stupid rams that just smash each other up. Can't y'all get along?

Above, a male elephant kills a big iguana just for the hell of it - he won't eat it. Dick.

Murder, violence, war, these are the gifts of male mammals upon the world, while, almost uniformly, the females of all mammal species do most of the work, raise the children, feed the males.

This male mammalian douchebaggery is so consistent one must presume it is genetic, traced back to an ancient ancestor. To what end, evolution only knows!

Tourists and Museums

Museums would be so much better with far fewer tourists, yes? Except yourself, of course. Perhaps this is also true about everything else.

Here's some art found in a museum:

Seeming random sculpture turns to a faithful reproduction in shadow. Now that's art!

I think Plato had it right with the whole "shadow in the cave" analogy. We are bound by our senses as biological animals - this would be the cave - and all we can perceive is what our senses allow us to - in this case, the shadow thrown against the cave wall. We know there's more out there that we don't know about - for instance, that regular matter and energy only makes up 4% of our Universe. 4%! That's nothing, and yet here we sit, no doubt thinking we have it all figured out.

Delusions of a mammalian brain, high on itself. Ain't it grand?

In my Tribe

Normally, we wear blocks of cheese on our heads - we are known as the Cheeseheads, after all - but on festive occasions, we will wear our hallowed stadium on our heads instead. All praise to Lambeau, Home of the Frozen Tundra.

Seriously, I still can't believe the Pats lost to the damn Jets. Damn. Congrats to the Pack though - twas a fine championship run, and given the almost pure socialism of the public corporation known as "The Green Bay Packers", I can't think of a better team to win in the league. Patriots excepted, of course. Because, freedom, and America, and stuff?

But anywho, here's a fun game: Look at any behavior, any clothing, any music, anything you like (manmade), and try and trace back the tribal themes as far back as you can. It's pretty easy, I think, since we are, like all mammals, tribal creatures, and no matter how sophisticated, wise, or savvy we think we are, we're still just biological creatures, bound by the same genetic pressures driving all other living things. And mammals herd.

Biology/Genetics can explain almost any living behavior. If you believe that, then, what exactly are you? But a Cheesehead, in this case?

The Courtship of Bob "The Bat" Batarski

Bob Batarski, Class of 1984. A shop kid, Bob wasn't what you'd call "destined for great things", but he could fix any Ford engine laid before him. Considering, for example, the Pinto, this could be considered a "great thing", yeah?

Drunk on watermelon on a warm Summer day, anything could happen and sometimes a moment leads to a lifetime of commitment (or imprisonment).

Like with most things in this world, Bob likes it upside down.

Warning! Animal Anatomy ahoy! Only click through if you are prepared to see Bob laid out quite revealingly...

Save Yourself

I first saw this funny little saying in this comic above, some time ago, which is really effective I think in its simplicity. Not sure about the text at the bottom, though I get the joke. But in searching for this picture on the WWW, I discovered this:

Same joke, better art, yet, not as funny.


It's an interesting case study in design. 

Also, too, the "Secret of Heroes": Either heroically dumb or heroically suicidal, or some of each. Otherwise, how could you ever risk your own life to save someone else's?

This Tube Nosed Fruit Bat finds your ideas intriguing

and wishes to subscribe to your newsletter.


Just this one, though. The rest of 'em think you're crazy.