Redshirt's Lament 1999th Post Gif Spectacular!

Gosh.

1,999 posts. Where has the time gone? So many laughs, and so many gifs. Here's a bunch!

Upper body strength is a must!

See?

Although a gun compensates for upper body strength nicely.

Like maybe a fake beard could too, if you were Riker or Evil Riker.

Regardless, the lesson of the last 6 freaking years is this:

But isn't that always the lesson?

Seals out of place

Seal's like, "WTF?!" Kinda sad but also uplifting story of a zoo that flooded this Summer in Minnesota. Read about it here. This seal was found a couple of blocks away from the zoo. How messed up is that, for the seal? Going from a water world to the cold hard, wet streets? Damn. Be advised, freak events like this (10+ inches of rain in short order) will become more and more common as our world climate gets ever warmer. But hey! It's sunny today! Why worry about LIBERAL LIES?

Republican crasher seal sayz "DRILL HERE, DRILL NOW!"

Dog Mermaids

It's true - think about it. If a mermaid is top half human, bottom half fish, than a seal pretty much fits the definition of dog mermaid. I'm sure dogs have many myths related to the sexy sirens of the sea who bark out at them on the shore, luring them to their DOOM.

Also, Chris Columbus saw some mermaids on his illustrious voyage, but reported they weren't as pretty as he was taught. Consensus was he saw some manatees, and no one could say they are sexy in any way. Except maybe to other manatees.