The Long Con

Heed my warning, and heed it well: The Con is spreading. ComicCon, where people dress up like comic characters. It's spreading more and more into the real world and I bet soon enough you will see a Stormtrooper or Boba Fett or a Wookie family celebrating Life Day.

Happy Life Day!

Beware!

Head Canon

"Head Canon" refers to the creation of an alternate universe of fictional characters that exists only in your head. Sometimes this hews close to the original work of fiction (for example, instead of the Emperor dying at the end of Jedi, in my "head canon", he lives), or sometimes is dramatically different.

Such as the wedding of Mrs. Doubtifre and Boba Fett, officiated by Batman.

Why?

Who knows. Just roll with it - it's the Internet, Danny.

EU No More

Disney bought Lucasfilms a few years back now for a cool 4 Bill, and said they're making more Star Wars movies. I'm excited, but I'm a nerd. But not the nerdiest of the Star Wars nerds, by far. For example, I own no toys or costumes.

I do own a few books, they're fun and light and exactly what you think they are. Sci-fi fluff in the Star Wars universe.

But alas! These books created CANON - that is, the history of a fictional universe - and the nerds live in this CANNON and every word of it is truth.

So, when Disney said they were discarding all previous Star Wars CANON other than what has appeared in the films, the hard core nerds freaked out. OUTRAGE! STAR WARS IS DEAD! Really, it's hilarious.

As, above, a nerd prepares to burn some of his EU (Extended Universe - CANON) books (I'm sure he has hundreds more).  Hurts so good.

May the Fourth be with you

As a sign of nerds ever increasing power in society, we now have the mainstream acknowledgment of May 4th as "Star Wars Day", due to the pun "May the 4th be with you". Haha, right?

So, add it to your calendars, folks. Picard Day is coming up in June, and Sagan Day is in November.

Any other nerd days of note? I'm sure I'm missing some.

Words are wind

Oh Summer child, give up hope now for any new books from noted author George RR Martin. For he has been taken with writers block and fame, and the Wall shall fall before you see another.

Connecticut, O Connecticut

For shame, Connecticut. For shame. Are you not of New England? Do you not understand our allegiance?

W is for victory! An amazing 21st century turnaround for the Boston Red Sox. 86 years of frustration wiped clean by 12 years of Championships. The Curse has become the douchebag fan that everyone hates.

Sully! Murph! We rule!

The New Protector

I miss "Lost". Really. It was such an engaging show. So many great stories, so many great characters, like Hugo, or AKA Hurley, The New Protector. Hail!

If you've never watched "Lost", do so immediately.

Pain for Sport

I'm not sure this awesome statement by the man, MT, is completely true. Other animals play with creatures before killing them - is that sport? Yeah, kinda. Regardless, this statement is true enough to tell the tale - we are Gods upon this Earth and we kill and torture for sport.

Cruel Gods.

And yet a bull fighter recants, and so proves maybe we can be more than the ultimate killing machines.

Twain loved kitties, and so further cements his Internet God-dom.

Super hunk Mark Twain, writer of words, lover of kitties. A meme machine for mankind for the next 1 to 2 hundred years.

Come Together

It's heartening to see people come together in times of tragedy and loss.

It's sad that it takes such tragedies to bring people together in such visible ways. Shouldn't we be together - all of us, all people - all the time?

Maybe sometime in the future.

Dots assembled

Here's a map from the 1860's showing the slave population of the south - the darker areas have more slaves. And now:

2008 Presidential election results. Red equals Republican, Blue, Democrat. Just a co-incidence, I'm sure.

Explains a good deal, when you consider the politics of America.This, however?

A map of NFL fans based on Google searches. Witness Steeler Nation! Also, sadly, Cowboys. Smallest real estate - NY Jets.

Bill Clinton Fan-o-Gram

I kinda bad mouthed Bill Clinton in the last post. I don't take it back, and there's more, but I also wanted to state for the record how much I like Bill Clinton as President and as former President, and as a person. For the following reasons:

1. He's self made - Daddy long gone, raised by his not rich Mom and Grandparents. Like Barack Obama, I'd add.

2. He's motivated and intelligent, personable and funny.

3. He's a lover. Check out this incredible shot of Bill and a young, hot Hill. What a couple - their relationship goes back all the way.

4. He's got great hair.

5. He worked his way to the top.

6. He knows history.

7. He's aged well.

Insert your own love (and internet macro) for William Jefferson Clinton if you would, or will. Some - plenty - won't. To them I say, c'mon! Dude's awesome, even if you don't agree with his policies. You're telling me you wouldn't want to have a beer with Bill Clinton?

LIAR! Or teetotaler.  Either way, pshaw!

Yee-Haw?

Redneck spits on hippies or hippy accident? Who's to know. Just another fan photo.

He Smoked A Lot

For many years, too many years, I used to joke: I should take up a 5 pack a day smoking habit, and then get fired from my job since I was always smoking, then sue my former employer for discrimination because I was forced to smoke away from work, and thus got nothing done. Not my fault! I am a smoker yet you do not allow me to smoke at my desk! And then, when I died of some cancer related illness, rich, my tombstone would read: Here lies Redshirt - He Smoked A Lot.

I no longer make such japes, as smoking is truly not funny. Disgusting, rather. But this bloke clearly has similar ideas to young Redshirt - how much can I smoke? I trust this is for some stupid word record or such. MOST CIGARETTES!

I quit those evil things months ago. Look at me, all high and mighty and no longer chained to a poisonous gas. I realized I'd rather delay my death, and toast the days instead.

Here's to you, skull in the upper corner. I'm sure your life long ago was awesome and so very important.

Fantasy Art

The Imp triumphant. Yet he got no credit - for shame, Westeros!

Arya Stark, as drawn by John Picacio. Wonderful and realistic, with edges of fantasy.

Would look fine on the side of an Ecoline.

Or yeah perhaps this too, also. Any Phoenix fans in the house?

No more time to prepare

RIP Batmans. Your vigilantism was an inspiration to us all.

But really, kids, Batman will die some day. As will most heroes, save the freaks - Superman prime among them. Immortals ain't right, I tells ya.

Not in comic books though, not permanently. There's always reboots and alternate universes. The Heroes of our mythology - Batman, Superman, Spiderman, etc - will live in our imaginations as long as they can engage our attention. If culture changes drastic enough, they could all fall by the wayside, into the dustbin of discarded Gods and Heroes, and truly then, Batman would be dead.

No spoilers here, by the way. I have no idea what's going on.

Hood

Long did the fans wonder: Who was this man, and what was he carrying?

He's participating in the Cloud City evacuation, of course. But you knew that. He's on screen for about 1.5 seconds.

After deep deliberation the Internet determined this is a space age ice cream maker. And who would want to leave that behind if your Cloud City was about to get blasted?

Given the Rule of Lucas #3: Anything that can be marketed will be marketed - the Internet in its great wisdom divined that we need only wait for a name for this dude. Given Star Wars novels, comics, and relentless toy machine, it was only a matter of time until he got his own action figure. And voila!

Lucas has made it so: Willrow Hood. Space age ice cream maker and deputy of security, sector 23. 

Of course the other black guy on Cloud City is named Hood. Subtle.

Nerd's Delight (Fantasy Aside)

Click for big. And you really should, especially if you are a nerd or a person with nerdish tendencies. For it shows - to scale - every spaceship of every fairly recent space based sci fi show. It's remarkable! Take your time, please.

I marvel at, 1. The scale of my old favorite Star Trek ships to Star Wars, and 2. How I, since I was but a wee lad, have been obsessed with space ships. There's something so resonant there for me, and always has been there, it must mean something, right? What, I have no idea. Other than I have always been a giant nerd.

But I am TOTALLY cool with my nerdom now (not so much as a younger man), since I've scaled the ranks of the Popular Kid's club over and over again, mostly on my own terms, and what I found up there was: Nothing much.

Far better to pursue your sincere interests - and work hard to broaden your mind to discover interests you might never have known - with honesty and passion, and never any shame. For what is there to be ashamed of? Trust me: It doesn't matter what the Popular Kids think. They're pretty much all dumbasses, douchebags, and bitches. Who cares about them? And thus, let your Nerd Flag fly proudly!

Like this guy:

Live Long and Perl!

Oh, and since I know you're dying to know - and I am dying to record for posterity - I won a miraculous comeback in Fantasy last night, with everything going my way. It was incredible, as I put the odds of such an event happening at about 10%. But happened it did, and now I move on in the playoffs. And to clear up your confusion, I see Fantasy Football as only tangentially related to real football. I don't really care much who wins or loses any real football game, but rather only care about my current, past, or future Fantasy investments. For it is all a mathematical game more akin to a closed stock market, with of course plenty of luck and bad breaks. Buy low, sell high, maximize short term situations but always with a long term plan. Also, know your scoring rules and exploit them in every capacity. I've been consistently successful for many years, but have never broken through and won the big game. This year I came in with some bold new strategies and the number 1 pick and have flown high all year, but I am in it to win it and anything but the Title Belt will be a failure. And so my heartbreak on Sunday as I got torched by Brees and while doing well, saw all kinds of chances slip through my fingers - Et tu, AP? But alas! Monday night miracles happen, complete with explosions and power outages - and I prevailed by the slimmest of margins - 2.2 points. The last thirty minutes of the game were incredibly exciting.

As I'm sure was this entire aside. Thanks for reading and good luck to you if you are still alive in the greatest game of skill in the land: Fantasy Football. Who-Ah!

Shogun Star Warrior

Now this is art! Nerd millionaires should fund artists who can produce this quality of fanart. And then hang it on their expensive, tacky walls. Culture!

It seems this scene - Cloud City Father Confessional - has become myth to a large portion of humanity. It's wonderful to see it happen before my eyes, mythmaking in action. How long it lasts is anyone's guess, but the Star Wars mythology is going strong for now.

As a nerd, I must insist on pointing out Vader really had little to do with the various Death Stars - which are central to the entire storyline, including the prequels. He was just a lackey; everything was all about the Emperor.

Family Hostage Syndrome

Let's guess who's the number one Trek fan here: One of the kids? Mom? Dad?

The answer's probably Dad, of course, because who else could command such a thing? Dad is BOSS of the family and whatever whims or fancies strike him become the reality for the rest of the family. If that be Trek costumes for all, so be it. Perhaps you could only be so lucky. Bible Thumpin' Dad's are usually super fun!

These folks seem mostly happy. Mom seems a bit chagrined, but alas, such is the curse of telepathy.  If it makes you happy, go for it. If you have to go along because it makes others happy, that's a choice you have to make.

You are your face

Note the crybaby face on Jay Cutler - NFL Quarterback. As a starting NFL QB, he is an elite member of the elite, one of few people on earth who can claim such a thing. He's a King of the Jocks, BMOC that is the campus of our society. And yet, the constant crybaby face, and as such, no matter how elite he is, he's an object of mockery, of scorn, of derision and sacks. No one likes him, and it's entirely because of his face. Look at the Ref's face.

The lesson! To most everyone else in this world, you are your face. And not just looks, but how you wear it - always frowning? Always mad? Always eyes darting around and around? This is how the world sees you, and thus judges you, no matter what you truly are. So consider the well the face you show the world, for it is your basic currency.

Speaking of faced:

And another face that says it all:

Poor Skins fans. As a Pats fan, it's been so long since I knew anything but excellence, I can only abstractly imagine your woe.