X RATED JAR JAR (rule 34)

As a reminder, Rule 34 of the Internet states: If something exists, there is porn of it on the Internet.

As such, if you dare - 18 Years and Older Only! - click below this link.


Really, by clicking this link, you agree to the mental scarification which will surely follow.


Click only if you dare.


Last chance....

Forgiving Jar Jar

Are we ready to forgive Jar Jar? Or is it still too soon?

Behind the mask

Boba Fett was an accountant for ten years before a deal went bad and he was forced to take up the rough and tumble life of bounty hunting.

Through it all, his ledger remained black.

The Long Con

Heed my warning, and heed it well: The Con is spreading. ComicCon, where people dress up like comic characters. It's spreading more and more into the real world and I bet soon enough you will see a Stormtrooper or Boba Fett or a Wookie family celebrating Life Day.

Happy Life Day!

Beware!

Head Canon

"Head Canon" refers to the creation of an alternate universe of fictional characters that exists only in your head. Sometimes this hews close to the original work of fiction (for example, instead of the Emperor dying at the end of Jedi, in my "head canon", he lives), or sometimes is dramatically different.

Such as the wedding of Mrs. Doubtifre and Boba Fett, officiated by Batman.

Why?

Who knows. Just roll with it - it's the Internet, Danny.

Never, Never

Forever young and in love (except in the prenup).

I hope there were pirates at the open bar.

Till Death

A more accurate version of nerd love. Isn't it sweet? Having the proposal in the comic book store ensures you'll remember it forever.

True Love

FW:FW:FW: this to all your Aunts on Facebook! This lucky frog hit the jackpot - true love exists!

Sincerely, I'd marry for money in a heartbeat, because it would be true love - I'd love the money.

Date Night

Roger and girlfriend from Canada at Roger's favorite game store.

Later, for dinner. Check out this fancy spread!

Nerdology

Our Nerd Lord is a trinity of Nerdly Nerds, though this trinity is of course but One True Nerd.

Accept our offering of cheeseburger and french fry pizza, O Nerd Lord.

Nerd Honor

Besmirch at your own risk, to be honest.

Joyce

Joyce.




Funny album covers is a particularly target rich subject, so I shan't overdwell on the matter, but I love this one specifically for the perfect distallation of a late 70's/early 80's fashion. The perm. Especially the perm. The big glasses, big earrings, terrible clothes and colors, and just utter lack of taste. It's marvelous. What the hell were people thinking?

Holy Sounds

Pope Urban gives the latest release from Christian Crusaders 9 out of 10 crosses, calling it "Like a musical tour of the Holy Lands" and "Better than an Indulgence".

Scripture's just another word for words

This book really helped me out Freshmen year of High School. Getting the locker open from the inside sometimes took a miracle.

But it was this book that really helped me to know God, using clear and simple language to explain things like everlasting Hellfire.

Thanks, books!

Fear thy Lord

As everyone knows, man is inherently evil, and it is only the fear of eternal damnation and the teaching of this damnation that keeps humanity from descending into total barbarism.

Remember! God is love.

Ukraine's Choice

The choice seems pretty simple, Ukraine. The bigger question concerns your hair style.

In Kievan Rus

Fun fact to know and share: The Russian state was the creation of a Swedish Viking upper class ruling over a feudal population of Slavs. Check it out on the Wiki: Kievan Rus.

Here's some OG Rus graffiti in the Hagia Sophia -  then, an awesome church in the Roman Empire.  You might know them as "The Byzantium Empire". It was just old Rome, really. But by the 9th century CE, they were using Kievan Rus Viking bodyguards. Another fun fact! Rome finally fell in the year 1453, if you reckon the fall of Constantinople as the end of the Roman Empire. Columbus "discovered" America in 1492 for reference. The same year Spain finally pushed Islam from Iberia. Fascinating stuff.

Oh, yeah, other Vikings (Danish, Norwegian) also helped create the modern states of France and England.

Makes you think, about Vikings, you know?

Russian party scene

The boys hang out with friends and have a few (hundred) drinks and

The girls go to glamorous roof parties with views to die for.

Russia! What a party!

In the hot seat

 

Da, warm up here by fire for bit, oh yes, that's nice, oh hi, Dmitry, you take picture? Say BEETS!

EU No More

Disney bought Lucasfilms a few years back now for a cool 4 Bill, and said they're making more Star Wars movies. I'm excited, but I'm a nerd. But not the nerdiest of the Star Wars nerds, by far. For example, I own no toys or costumes.

I do own a few books, they're fun and light and exactly what you think they are. Sci-fi fluff in the Star Wars universe.

But alas! These books created CANON - that is, the history of a fictional universe - and the nerds live in this CANNON and every word of it is truth.

So, when Disney said they were discarding all previous Star Wars CANON other than what has appeared in the films, the hard core nerds freaked out. OUTRAGE! STAR WARS IS DEAD! Really, it's hilarious.

As, above, a nerd prepares to burn some of his EU (Extended Universe - CANON) books (I'm sure he has hundreds more).  Hurts so good.

Happy Whatever Day!

Since no one actually knows what Cinco de Mayo is about other than "Mexico" and "Partying", I'll say Happy Whatever Day! It's always good to have a theme and a reason, even if they don't mean much in reality.

FYI, the party above, here, was last year. Alas.

Obi Juan was there, of course.

May the Fourth be with you

As a sign of nerds ever increasing power in society, we now have the mainstream acknowledgment of May 4th as "Star Wars Day", due to the pun "May the 4th be with you". Haha, right?

So, add it to your calendars, folks. Picard Day is coming up in June, and Sagan Day is in November.

Any other nerd days of note? I'm sure I'm missing some.

Support the Chancellor

Found here: Feinobi

I can't vouch for anything else because I haven't looked, but this is wicked cool. Never forget, as Star Wars teaches us, that Palpatine got elected to office, and took "legal" steps every single way towards his goal of total power. Same with Hitler! He was duly elected to every post on his path to power, and used "Emergency Powers" towards the end game.

Hint: It's always "Emergency Powers" that does the trick. Thus, never trust anyone asking for that power.

A vote for A.D.

A.D. Stephens just gets shit done.

Doin Thangs

We're all doin thangs, I suppose. Just some of us are doin way cooler thangs.

Music to Soothe

It's not widely known, but bears are captivated by the harp. If they hear one, they stop whatever it is they are doing and listen. Some bears are known to play the harp, as evidenced above.

Too bad it's impractical to bring a large harp with you on hikes in grizzly country - it's the perfect bear defense.

Um, thanks?

Taken back at first by the garishness of it, President Johnson grew to love the chair during his term in office. By the third year he was holding staff meetings and visiting with foreign dignitaries in the Grizzly-Bear Chair.

The chair's whereabouts are currently unknown.

Come sit on me

Hello, I'm Clarence, the Pig Love Seat. I'd be ever so honored if you'd come and sit on me for a while.

Please?

Family

Betty Sue's been sleeping in Bobby Lee's bed since they were both piglets, and teenage obesity ain't gonna change that.

Cross the line

Snitches get BBQ brisketed.

Campus Wars

The front lines are fluid, dangerous, so many iPhones. Your training kicks in and you start spraying, real calm like, like the whole world is in slow motion and it's just you and this group of nonviolent protestors. You go with what you trained for: Macing and tazing.

Cuff the perps, live to fight tomorrow. That's how you survive on campus these days.

Armored Black Obstacles

If you're not fighting the Power, you're supporting it.


Do you? Are you?

Thin Blue Line

Thank you for your service, Mr. Police Man.

Not a drill

Please note, this is not a NASA security guard.

Just some nerd playing dress up. Isn't it grand fun?

That was easy

Guns fix every problem right up, quick and simple.

FREEDOM down the barrel of a gun

Fun fact to learn and share: FREEDOM literally comes from the barrel of a gun. Every time a gun is fired, FREEDOM emerges and gathers about us.

If we ban or restrict guns, we ban and restrict FREEDOM.

Don't you see? It's so simple.

The FOUNDING FATHERS knew this in their HEAVENLY SOULS, and gave us the SECOND AMENDMENT, praise JESUS.

Journalist of the Revolution

That's not Leo Tolstoy, but rather Glenn Beck, speaker of truths. I don't know why the Pony is there. But behold the truth about the so called "Democrats":

As you can clearly see.

Wake up people, it's time to act!

Um, no.

That's more like it!