Hitler Mussolini in glasses

Yeah, despite the rad name, Hitler - Mr. Mussolini if you're nasty -  here has some poor eyesight, so on with the old man glasses, for decades now. Also too, his middle name is Tojo. And he wakes at night in a sweat from nightmares about a man and a velvet rose. Complicated guy.

Dogs in glasses

Heh. Sky diving pug didn't agree to these terms.

Scab dog crossing picket lines and invisible fences. He don't care, as long as he's paid.

A pack of cool, cooler than you know or they'd care to explain.

Sergeant Stubby

Those are actual military medals on Stubby's jacket. A hero of WW1, Stubby achieved the rank of Sergeant after the battle of Chemin dem Dames. Check this hero dog out by clicking to the Wiki.

Not as flattering a shot, but c'mon! It's olden tymes. Note that Stubby is a pitbull. The breed has a terrible reputation today, but that's only because of dick head owners. But the power of opinion is hard to overcome. And, I suppose, we have less need for relentless attack dogs.

"A Brave Stray" describes us all really, for our ancestors marched and moved on over and anon again and again till humanity spread to every corner of the world, save Antarctica. But who would want to go there anyways?

Anywho, Stubby! What a dog!

Laika Dub

My mother, bless her, kept a journal of my likes and dislikes from grade K through 5. One of the questions in this journal was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And my answer was "Astronaut". From K through 5. And I tried - applied for the Air Force Academy but during the physical I learned I was deaf in my left ear - I never knew! How about that - to be told your entire life till this point has been in mono and you never knew. Odd!

I'd never be an astronaut with this failing, rightly so. And thus, alas! I accept a world where I will never be an astronaut, despite my deep yearnings. So I reach out to those who have gone to space. Like Laika, first mammal in space.

A mutt from the streets, and yet stands forever as the first ambassador of life into space, our inevitable home. Laika, dog hero par excellence.

 A dog hero we can all celebrate - Laika, dog hero of humanity.

On the backs of those who gave their lives for yours and mine. A debt that can never be fully paid.

Death of the Astronaut

The state of the US of A's manned space program: Dead, by suicide. Prodded on by Repuglicans. Why? It's an easy budget item to ax, all sciency and shit. It also helps humanity in general, rather than the Confederacy directly, so, gotta go!

Granted, robots are better than humans in space in a whole slate of categories. Most, actually. But there is an inspirational effect that man in space achieves that could never be replicated by a robot. The USA - in Cold War Fever - set the bar for this effect, when Neil Armstrong stepped off a ladder with the words "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Alas! It was not true, Neil, despite your noble intentions.

All photos by Neil DaCosta. Brilliant series.

I'm not sure Americans will get back into space in a large way, government backed. Maybe private shuttle services, astro-truckers, essentially. Lets root for the Chinese in their needful pride to send folks back to the Moon and beyond. Go China!

9/11 2: Space Ship Terror

Ya always got to take it to the next level in the sequel. The crowd demands it.

But seriously, the retiring of the Shuttle was a historical moment in that it will be noted as "Signs of a declining country". The Republicans have strangled this nation over the last 30 years, and we'll be paying the price grievously for years to come. That said, the Shuttle was kind of a waste at this point though too. It cost waaay more to operate than ever forecast, and only got more expensive each year. It had little purpose other than satellite delivery/repair. The Shuttle was designed for operation with a space station, and so the last irony is when we finally have one, it's too fragile and expensive to run, given the climate of the day - SCIENCE MUST BE DESTROYED!

One party has become insanely anti-science - the Republican Party. A once proud group (Honest Abe) has turned into a monstrous ogre hellbent on killing all the Unfaithful. If you value science at all, if you value law and reason and respect, it's your DUTY to never vote for a Republican and make sure you give your all in defeating them at every step. DUTY!

I am 98% sure Obama will be re-elected this November, but FSM help us all if somehow the cravenly Mitt Romney wins. We'll be well and truly fucked then.

Vote Obama!

Gliding Forever

Imagine you're on the 108th floor of the WTC as it burns, blocking any escape. The windows are already shattered, and so you have a choice: Die of smoke inhalation, or fire, or falling from the 108th floor. I know what I'd choose. Do you?

Personal parachute. Never go into a skyscraper without one.

But seriously, we're all going to die, one day and one way or another. It was destined from the moment we were born - everything that lives, dies. If it be in tragic terrorist attack, or car accident, or stroke all alone, dying on the kitchen floor, we're all going to die. We must make peace with this fact for a successful life, as denial will only lead to delusions, and delusions lead to darkness. Tip for living: Avoid delusions.

If your day has come, and it will come, face it as bravely as you can, in acceptance - this was the price of living: Dying. Alas, I wish it were not so, as do we all, as do all things alive, be they ape, dog, snake, snail, fish or bird, or all the microscopic bacteria floating in pond scum, so dear. Life is dear, and a brief gift. Enjoy it while you can, as much as you can. For the afterlife is boring I hear - that is, nonexistent. We get one shot at this thing called "Consciousness", and this is it. Do Good.

Gallows Jape

9/11 is here again. I'd almost forgotten, which I think is a great sign. The sooner this tragic event fades into the mists of time, the better - ONLY so it can no longer be used as jingoistic fear bait by deplorable Republicans and other Fundamentalists. 9/11 was their best tool for many years, and we're all still paying the price for their wielding of it. Thankfully, that too is fading, as the fascist tide recedes.

As I've said before, I lament the loss of life on 9/11, but then I lament the loss of life in a Bangladeshi ferry crash, or an Iraqi market bombing, or some jungle skirmish in Africa. People are dying all the time for all the wrong reasons, and sadly they often go unremarked. Once we ALL understand that people are people and we all want the same things - peace, happiness, children, and a pleasant old age - then we'll have a chance for no more terrorism, no more wars, no more violence, especially in the name of some "movement".

That's a ways off, though. Alas! In the meantime, I will continue to mock the Authoritarians, any who would have you bend your knee out of fear. Fear is never the answer. Laughter often is. Here you go (by the by - the pic above "The Accidental Tourist" was one of the first internet hoaxes after 9/11, and lives to this day. It is a hoax - here's the backstory.)

A real, pirated product.

The death of OBL was a big step forward in sending 9/11 to the archives. Thanks Obama!

As I've been making fun of 9/11 for a while now, I've seen more and more 9/11 cakes each year. I've got dozens on the old hard drive, but this one will suffice for now. Funny!

An actual "memorial" product. How better to remember that tragic day than flicking on a novelty lighter and smoking a butt? Or blunt.

 

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Sloth Bomb

Looking for a new, noble cause? Why not take up the reclamation of the Sloth - featured here in a photo bomb of earnest young people. Has any animal's very name ever been so besmirched? He's a deadly sin! C'mon, look at him - does he look deadly to you?

Sloths are not a Sin!

Add One Monster

How's about some awesome art? This guy buys crappy landscape paintings at yardsales and the likes, and adds a monster. Very realistically, if I say so, which I just did.

Adding monsters to anything usually makes it better. Ironically so or not.

(Restored) Owlbear Jesus is our Lord

Found in Mesa Arizona by a retired squire, can I get an "Amen"? Toast is awesome by the way, too. Butter, jam, honey, cinnamon, sugar, maybe some peanut butter, mmm. Toast. In this case, Sacred Toast.

Based on this touching retouch of a Jesus fresco in Spain or Italy or one of those types of countries over there.  As you can see, it's not so good, yet! Seen from another light, a hipster light if you will, a masterpiece.

Since news of the restoration made the Internet, it's become a smash hit. Breaking box office records in this little church somewhere in the European countryside. And why not? Would you not visit if you were in reaching distance? Just for the Irony? Sweet, sweet, Irony.

This is a true story by the way, kinda sad. Read here.

Also too for your piety, not mine of course and I wish I knew who's:

Ur Mom

Pizza's don't lie, bro. Why would they?! What's in it for the pizza to lie?! So, ergo and Ipswitch, ur Mom is a whore.

I kid, I kid, I love you. Seriously - here's a heart shaped pizza to prove it. Only 1300 Yen.

Pizza Cat agrees!

Baked for you

It's a vanilla creme filling, so you know.

For the Internet connoisseur. And the apple pie lover.

Have it your way, Satanist. Ha!

Food Art

Food. It's not just for eating! Art can be and is anything. Everything. That said, if a Mom made this for a child's lunch, then, well, Mom of the Century!

Amazing. "The Son of Man", bordered in celery.

Persistence of Pancakes. Is there any food more disappointing than pancakes? They're good for about 20 minutes tops after cooking, and they're only really made tasty by loading on butter and syrup. Such a tease!

This anatomy lesson proved less than fruitful.

"The rarest Gummi of them all. It was carved by Gummi artisans who work exclusively in the medium of Gummi".

Gummi!

Art on the Cob

Art is what you make it - what you believe it to be.

Kernels of corn art on the cob? Artistic as fuck!

Before the Internet

As everyone knows, the internet is mostly made up of cat pictures, either ironically or seriously. Cats are mysteriously popular. And not just for denizens of cyberspace, but for most of history! Yet alas, before the internet, how could you share funny pictures of cats with the anonymous legions? Film! Yes, this substance that you'd put in a machine and it would spin fast and the light shining through it would reflect on a faraway screen for all to see!

Cat, eating corn on the cob.

Also too:

Too soon? Or not soon enough?

Animal Memeorama '12

If all the bad shit that happens = 100, what percentage of said bad shit happens whilst the actor is drunk? 70%? 80? It's up there, for alcohol unleashes man's natural animal, and declares: Run amok!

Serious frog doesn't drink nor smoke. What he does is get things done, healthy and happy. But so boring, right? Cuz if it

Then it should be done! Is that not our genes declaring "More!"? And they run the show. So if feels good man, do it.

The collective future of animal life on earth depends on each of us pursuing our pleasure. Sex, and all attendant behaviors, which are legion. But oh noes1! Say the religious fussbodies! Sexy time is only between married turtles, otherwise it's a sin. And drinking and the Rock and/or Roll? Blasphemy! Hellfire! Yadda yadda, leave a pamphlet.

Come at me, bro

Internet memes. Wondrous little things that come from nothing and bring forth chortles and snorts, for a time, till they fade away back into the digital nothing from which they sprang. Some last longer than others, such is the way of all things. I expect longevity correlates to the degree with which the meme addresses the human condition. Closer to the bone and the more LOLS there are to be had.

What I find hilarious about this meme is the ironic mocking of the faux peacock effect - some male punk is feeling testy and gets pushy with someone else over some perceived slight. They'll raise their arms, puff their chests, tilt their heads back and strut in this position in side to side motions. It's all very bird like, and have I ever mentioned I have a "problem" wherein I view ALL human interactions as if in a nature documentary? We are animals, after all, living in nature.

The "Come at me bro" move is a genetic behavior we share with our simian sisters and no doubt goes back millions of years into our shared past. Billions maybe.

After all, it's clearly a defensive measure intended to make the possible attacker think you are bigger and more menacing prey than you might really be. Puffing up, as it were. An ancient and noble defense, but one that fails in the face of a dedicated assailant.

Not much you could do here, really, other than roll into a ball and pray to FSM that he tires/bores/frightens off. Bears can be scared off, of course, but not if they're all chargy and foamy fangy. You're screwed.