Fear is the mind killer

A John Wayne Gacy original, entitled "Goodbye Pogo". Pogo was the name of the clown Gacy played for many years. After he was arrested, he picked up painting while in jail, selling quite well. I don't search the internets for serial killers, honestly, but any search for "Scary clown" will inevitably lead to JWG, or Pogo. Imagine the terror! He's a fascinating specimen of freaky ass psycho killer.

I search for scary clown stuff for you, fellow Redshirts. I DO IT ALL FOR YOU!!! And my own LuLz, of course. But also because it's cool to face your fears whenever possible/safe. Once you can face something, you can overcome it. You need will (to) power. Imagine, the nightmares and real fear felt by this young lad for his entire life:

He looks terrified - he's gone into the submission pose. Think of all the neurosis and psychosis that can lead from one terrifying and bizarre event. I mean, what the heck is up with clowns anyway? Who thinks that shit is funny? Also, that's not Pogo. Neither are these guys.

Have fun at your birthday party kids! We'll be drinking by the pool.

Painting for Peanuts

Even elephants are terrified of clowns - which makes the circus that much more of a torture. To rid herself of these demons, Tessie here paints. Clowns, always painting clowns.

Casting Couch Slither (Reptillian Version)

Sexy Lizard 2011, as chosen by Cub Scout troop 125 from Davenport Iowa, thereby earning their "Sexy Lizard" badge.

For a good time call

Come a little closer babe, let me give ya a kiss.

Smoking Cancer

Apparently crabs are hardcore smokers. Pack a day at least, 2 on the weekends. Look at this guy - 2 at once! And hoo boy if they get to drikin' and a'partyin'.... chainsmoking crustacean fools. Here's some proof - you can find many more partying crabs on the interwebs:

Sun bathing AND smoking, the summer party classic.

Nothing like the smell of nature and the sweet, smooth scent of tobacco.

Smoking while eating breakfast - starts the day off right.

Disco Chicken is Now 98% Guilt Free

So Rusty says on Sunday night, whooping it up. But he'll have a different tale to tell Monday at 7:30 in the A.M. Regrets galore.

So dizzy!

Down is Up (Up is Down)

 

Look deeply into the ever turning gyre, and soon enough you can't tell if you're going down or up. And so is the very nature of reality - down, up, fast, slow, these are all relative terms. In fact, this is part of Einstein's theories of relativity, which states (in part) that all motion, all direction, is always relative to the observer. There is no other way to define it. Up is up to you, up could be something different to someone else from a different perspective. Another example - right now, every human on this Earth is flying through space at many thousands of miles per hour. Does it seem that way to you? No, because we are so small relative to the size of the Earth that we don't notice the spinning and the hurtling. It's much bigger than us.

And so with that, here's an interpretive graph of a black hole:

In 3 dimensional space (4 dimensional really, but lets not overly complicate things), the black hole sits at the center of a sphere, and towards its two poles matter and energy falls. Now, what happens at this center - the Singularity which is the black hole - no one has any idea what happens. It's all educated guesses and no one feels confident about any of them. I am confident, however, that the black hole is key to our Universe and understanding it will allow us to understand so very much more. Note - I spend a lot of time thinking about black holes, like an itch I can't stop scratching, because something is big there. Something important. How can all that matter and energy get compressed to... nothing? Something's missing. Finding it will unlock the next game level.

I'm not the only one, of course, spending a lot of time thinking about black holes. Cosmology in large part is now focused on them, since, again just for an example, a massive black hole sits at the center of every galaxy, leading one to wonder - is the black hole necessary for galaxies? Are galaxies in fact nothing but the environments created by black holes? It's possible! Black holes could be very, very tiny too - microscopic black holes might exist all around us, popping into existence and popping back out, the quantum fizz in our effervescent existence. As with all things in this reality, the big is reflected in the small, the small in the big, and scientists are finding that water can be used to simulate many of the effects of black holes. Above, the ocean vortex. Imagine another vortex meeting this one from the bottom of the sea, and you have a black hole effect.  Many things can be learned by these simulations, one of which is - look at all the water that avoids the vortex (black hole)! Most of it. Ergo, black holes are no single minded monsters of destruction, but rather they are fundamental to our Universe. Take a look at a cross section:

Only a small percentage of the matter and energy drawn towards a black hole actually goes into the black hole. The rest is spun around, heated up, and thus causes rotation on large scales (i.e. galaxies spinning) and create stars upon stars upon stars - the first star, perhaps, was birthed by a black hole.

So, shed any old notions you might have had about big bad evil black holes. They are, in fact (theory!), the very engines of our Creation, and the greatest mystery that exists today. 

Solve the Singularity!

Light Cone Laffs

I must confess: I love light cones! They appear so simple, but what they represent is stupendously complex. Just for one example - these cones represent causality. What happens within the cone can have a causal relationship with the object of the light cone (remember, everything has a light cone, or, a sphere of influence), both past and future. Something outside the cone has no direct causal connection.

The past is defined as that which causally impacted the now, and the future is defined as that which can be causally impacted by now. "Now" is an ever moving center of these two cones at which point space/time is manifested on a flat plane we call existence. This plane influences the object of the light cone, causing it to move this way or that - the red squiggly line, or "wordline" in the drawing at top. These squiggles represent movement, and - dig this - graphically represent time travel, in that any deviation from a straight line is a deviation from "light" time, and thus a time traveler (future or past). This time deviation is Einstein's General Theory of Relativity, which states that time is relative to the motion of the observer (in part). The famous example used to illustrate this effect is if you were to blast off in a space ship going close to the speed of light, a year for you on board the craft might be 100 years to the folks left back on Earth. For both of you, time would seem normal, but when you returned to Earth, you'd find everything you know long gone even if you were away for but a few years. Time travel!

OK! Now for some laffs:

Get it?

Everything is funny when presented on a hipster faux trucking cap.

The Shape of Things

This is the Hubble Ultra Deep Field, a picture taken over 7 days of a spot in the sky smaller than your pinky. Every object here is a galaxy, some over 11 billion light years away. Since it takes light a certain distance to travel to your eye (or the telescope), whatever you see is in the past. 11 billion light years means 11 billion years ago. Here:

And here's a similar graph for the awesome WMAP satellite:

As you can see, the CMBR pic in the previous post is from very early on in the Universe - before stars, before light could spread freely. The Dark Ages was the era of heavy, swirling clouds of gas so thick light could not escape, and blackness was upon everything. But one day a star was born and the darkness was broken.

With every ray of light, with every act, with every Big Bang, you can think of the existence of this thing as a cone, with a past, present, and future. Witness:

The cones are light, past and future; the red arrow moving through it is an electron, or a star, or you, anything that exists. Since there is one cone we are all contained within - the Big Bang. And we are but red lines squiggling along, all doing the best we can.

As big (small) as it gets

This is a survey of galaxies spanning billions and billions of light years. There's a lot of them. You can see strands and groupings of galaxies in filament like structures - the dark band across the center is our own galaxy's light blotted out, since it's so bright.

This is our Universe, and our entire galaxy is but a tiny dot in a great matrix of galaxies. But these galaxies and great strands of galaxies had a precursor, which was a mere ripple in the energy of the Big Bang. The Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation:

This is two sides of the same image. The red represents slightly warmer, and the blue represents slightly cooler, but these colors are arbitrary. What this actual image shows is the difference in radiation frequency soon after the Big Bang, and it was the colder areas that formed the first galaxies of massive clouds of hydrogen, and soon after the first stars, which led to the others and ultimately our existence. This difference in frequency led to the pattern of galaxies shown above.

What will really twist your mind is this image of the CMBR is from when the entire Universe was damn small. And if you extrapolate back to when the entire Universe was smaller still, it becomes microscopic, atomic, subatomic, smaller than an electron. And thus this difference in frequency stems from the start when the whole of our reality was smaller than a Quark.

We come from this subatomic moment - the very parts that make us up were there. We are the Universe, man, and are as big and as small as we want to see it.

This World is Now Ours

This is a compilation of all tropical storms over a year. Neat, huh? Note the remarkably quiet continent of South America - what's up with that? Eastern Africa is also incredibly calm, whereas look at Wastern Mexico - BAM! Must be that El Nino dude.

These are the Andaman Islands, one of which is - and has been for a long, long, long time - the home of the Sentinelese. The Tsunami of 04 went through here, but no one knows what it did or didn't do to the Sentinelese. They remain a mystery. From the satellite image above, it looks like they get a lot of big storms - I bet they survived in large numbers, if it were possible, due to their no doubt higher sensitivity to their environment. Uncle t-Thuk'ik-rytyr always knows when a storm is coming. Or a big wave - the birds, man. You got to read the birds. When they start freaking out, or not freaking out, you know something's up - head for high ground.

A Tale of Two Times

These are the so called "Sentinelese" people  - they surely call themselves something else. No one knows, as there's been no long lasting encounters, since the Sentinelese are extremely aggressive towards any intruders. With good reason, perhaps.

They live in a stone age culture, with no made metal tools (there are found metal tools), no agriculture, no tech other than rocks and jungle. Check out their wiki. It's so cool when you consider it, since they are living much like all people lived some 20 to 25,000 years ago, before the city, before the fortress, before organized much of anything. Most of human history lies during this long era. This is where we evolved.

We - the people on the boats off the shore, taking pictures and trying to make contact (now - imagine back in ye olde days of raping and pillaging) - must be so strange and alien to these people. I wonder what they call us - do they even think we are people, or some strange aliens/gods?

But the Sentinelese are already doubtlessly spoiled from their long Stone Age innocence, since they've seen our boats, discovered our trash, seen our planes flying high and not so high overhead. It seems only a matter of time before all the so called "uncontacted" peoples are contacted, since we - modern man - are a scourge upon this poor planet and won't stop till we've burned it all up.

Stay strong Sentinelese!

Indian Summer (Winter is coming)

Indian Summer is defined in Maine as any warm day past September 1st. Why it's called "Indian" is not for the curry. It's easy to forget, in the Summer, that Maine is cold, and way up North. And kinda weird. But boy, in the Summer - it can be perfection. I had the BEST Summer in quite some time, due to the fully operational New Gondolin. Take a look - 

Due Northwest. That's my favorite corner.

From the great wall of Redshirt, newly constructed. It was amazing to see the change in the wall and the leaves this past week - from nothing to full on. Some change I like, other change I'm not so keen on. I'm going to miss the Summer and I know I've forgotten: Winter is coming:

Brrr!

Fall, Again

Fall's back. Yay. Sure, there's some nice days and all, but I think it's a big bummer. You witness the Sun sinking from the sky, setting earlier and earlier every day. The leaves come out and party for a bit, than shrivel up and die, leaving behind a dull dreary bleakness that is broken only by rushes of blood to the head. Bah! Fall is my 3rd least favorite season, and I challenge anyone to place it higher. Over Spring? Over Summer? Don't think so. Winter need not be discussed.

But it's an Equinox, so it must be celebrated - the seasons are astronomical in origin, both in source and in measurement - Fall is when the Earth is at a precise spot. Here:

You'll note, perhaps ironically, that the Earth is noticeably closer to the Sun in Northern Winter than in Summer, yet Winter is cold as Hell. Why is this?! Axial tilt, dude. It's 23 degrees. Take a look:

You see how in the Winter, Earth's Northern Hemisphere is facing away from the Sun in January (Sun on the left side), whereas it is pointing towards the Sun in July (Sun on the right side) - that is a far more important factor in heating than distance to the Sun. I presume this means that the Southern hemisphere gets hotter Summers, since they are facing the Sun and closer. Thus, perhaps, the Rainforests around the world at that latitude.

Anyways, you should celebrate each Season, since they are very much the markings of the clock on our lives - round and round we go. Holidays are important as breaks in the everyday, a moment where the real world can be left behind a bit. Ceremony is important. Remembering why we're here and where we're going is important. It's all important.

Enjoy!

Indian Fall.

King Kong Eggs

Born mad.

Also, in regards the age old debate involving the chicken and the egg, let me tell you that from an evolutionary viewpoint, it's clearly the "chicken". Not the chicken itself, but its ancient ancestor, our ancestor too. The first who came up with the whole "egg" concept. It was pretty long ago, but animals were born before eggs and continue to survive to this day. Thus, if our ancestors once produced without the use of eggs, the answer to this debate is clearly:

Chicken.

We all play our part

Life is much like the WWF toy hockey game - you're controlled by forces far beyond your influence, assigned your set role and unable to move out of it, save the little wiggles in the tiny rut you call "your life". Mine too! In this parable you are the Hacksaw Jim Dugan character, and not the Hulk. Ain't that always the case?

But seriously, this artwork is magnificent. Note the detail in the customized hockey sticks, each suited to its owner. So you know, Hacksaw is the creepy looking guy in the top left of the ring, eating his 4x4 hockey stick. You ever feel like doing that? Me too!

RIP (OH YEAH!)

Randy "The Macho Man" Savage died this past 5/20 due to a heart attack while driving. I had the opportunity to post an elegy that day - since as an old, long ago wrestling fan, I knew of some of the Macho Man's wrasslin' deeds, but I knew him more through the pop culture adoption of some of his memes. His catch phrase and sponsorship of that beef jerky product - you know the one - spread his persona into the common culture where it became, "a thing". A small thing, to be sure, but a thing none the less. I myself did a Macho Man impression from 1995 - 1999. OOH YEAH! Which is really just stealing Kool Aid Guy's line. Remember him?

(Tangent: What's up with Kool Aid Guy? I mean, he's naked, right? And has poured "himself" into a mini pitcher - which he then serves to children. Is the small pitcher Kool Aid Guy's child? Is the beverage itself their blood? And what's with the ice cubes? How do they always stay frozen? I could go on....)

But that's pop culture for you.

Macho Man has lived and spread on the Interweb like most absurd things, and you'll see his trademark costume at the occasional Halloween party or Comic-Con. Why? Why not - it's fun!

And fun is what Macho Man brought, and this World needs fun, Danny.

Oh yeah - I could have posted this on 5/20, and I strongly considered it, but it got bumped by that day's big news on the Redshirt Gazette - the funtimes 5/21 Notpocalypse. Remember that?

Naw, me neither. Oh well...

Teach a man to lift

Jesus was a 98 pound weakling who often, and for little reason, got sand kicked in his face by beach bullies. But then Jesus discovered the Teachings of Charles Atlas and became righteously ripped.

The Gym is the Temple.

In this reality, Jesus was not Resurrected, since he didn't die on the cross but rather used its broken shards to kick Roman ass.

Also:

I don't know what's going on here. I almost hope it's Photoshop. Or some illusion - maybe the other weightlifters are dwarves. That dude is BIG. Comically so. Imagine him running!

LOL Jesus

See, there's this thing on the Intertubes called LOL Jesus - go ahead, look it up. You'll see photos like these:

It's absurdist humor, like much on the web. Which suits me fine, as I savor the absurd like a hot cup of soy.

Quite the shark. They called him The Nazareth Natural, back in the day.

Jesus had a wicked wrist shot.

This trick works really well, especially if you're subtle about it, unlike Jesus here. Start making small talk with the cashier or whomever before money is exchanged, so that by the time it comes out you can introduce a few numbers into your smalltalk - three towns over there were these four guys who tied two trailers together using a role of rubber. For example.

Bonus non LOL Jesus pic:

JESUS SMASH!

Alternate History

Art from the era of Repuglican Ascendency - 2003. When Couch Warriors marched on the Internets protecting American Freedom from Liebrul Traitors and Tree huggers. Losers. It was the age of twisted Conservative dreams.

Art from one of those sick, evil Conservative websites. Seriously, go read "Free Republic" or "Red State" for evidence of the darkness in cyber hearts. This piece hits many buttons on the Wingut Id. I mean, check out that goat!

Original Intent.