Ur Mom

Pizza's don't lie, bro. Why would they?! What's in it for the pizza to lie?! So, ergo and Ipswitch, ur Mom is a whore.

I kid, I kid, I love you. Seriously - here's a heart shaped pizza to prove it. Only 1300 Yen.

Pizza Cat agrees!

Let us give thanks

C'mon on in! Water's fine! Don't mind Brutus here, he's an old family friend and sweeter than hell! Grab some more beers first though, wontya?

Seriously. It's an awesome story. Here.

For reals. Brutus often eats at the table, and most definitely does for big events. Best let him have the wishbone though. No pulling.

Wishes are hoarse

What we want and what we get are often far apart. Why? Many reasons, of course - like everything, since everything is connected to everything it gets complicated real quick - but perhaps prime among them are our delusions, about ourselves and our reality.

We might consider ourselves the wronged hero in a battle of epic proportions, when in fact we're just a shlub, making our way through this topsy turvey world one day at a time, like everyone else. So, here's a protip:  Scrutinize how much your beliefs are weighted by inner sanction, or actual, external fact. Challenge your own assumptions, about yourself. Science, in the personal.

Also:

Don't be crazy, in the "Sinners Gonna Burn in Hell" variety. There's better ways.

There's always better ways, and that is the path to our enlightenment.

Be careful what you wish for

Remember that story "The Monkey Paw" or whatever it was called? Yeah.