The Real Doll

So many bundles of joy.

The real doll, as per title. Harry Harlow fashioned controlled Hells for baby monkeys in order to study their reactions. It's true, read here.

I leave it to you, my modern reader, to judge the morality of Harlow's work.

Spacebat we salute you

Back when the US had a manned space program, a bat hitched a ride on one of the last flights. Hidden agenda? Secret mission? Suicidal devotion? Who's to say why bats do things - they are a mystery. But the Internet, of course, came up with some tributes to this brave bat.

Where were you the day that bold bat rocketed up into the sky?

He/She's with Laika, and all the other animals  - like space chimps - we shot into space and now orbit the Earth, forever.

Excelsior, our animal ambassadors!

Don't shed too many tears though, for these courageous animals knew what they were signing up for, and gladly accepted the risks. I mean, who doesn't want to go to space?

Even more cat stuff for-from the Internet

Ceiling Cat and Basement Cat wage their eternal battle, but what of Fridge Cat? And look at all that beer!

Yo, Pussy. Or Ms. Tabby, if you're nasty. I heard the Intertubes likes cat stuff. So here's some more cool cat stuff for your cat approval.

You ever see a picture of a cat being held by monkey wherein the cat is not totally chill? Exactly. Think about it.

Cats love all life equally, except for things slightly larger than them, and everything smaller. Then it's claws of death.

Not a shop. Cats are natural born killers and are on a genocide campaign across the world against birds. And bugs.

And rodents and bunnies and chipmunks and like I said, everything smaller or just about the same size. They're the terminators of the mammal world - all cats. Like land sharks.

Can you imagine a Catnado? We'd all be crying blood, if not already bleeding out entirely.

Cats! The frisky, fuzzy, purring widdle fluffballs of DEATH.

Our only hope

As I've said many times right here on this here blog, a large asteroid strike on Earth is inevitable, and when/if it hits, most life on Earth, including all human life, is done. It will be something like a 90-96% extinction rate of ALL life on the planet, including bugs and bacteria and slimy stuff swimming in the seas. Consider this danger deeply, for it's very real. Here's but a taste:

And these are just the ones very close, and none of them are very big, and we're missing many, many smaller ones - the 150 meter ones mentioned below, for example. Large enough to cause widespread chaos and death on Earth (though not an extinction event). Asteroids vary greatly in size:

Vesta is bigger than many moons of Jupiter and Saturn, but not the biggest asteroid (that's Ceres, where the Dawn spacecraft is heading as I type). However, asteroids the size of Steins and even smaller are our real threat. Look how tiny! But big enough to kill us all. All it would take is 5-10 mile wide asteroid to do us all in.

And what could we do about it today? Very little if on short notice. If with 20-30 years to prepare, we could probably save ourselves, starting from scratch. But why start from scratch THEN, when we all know the answer TODAY?!

Figuratively, of course. An armada of Asteroids fighters flying around space blasting rock is not very likely.

Sad, I know. Believe me! I'm the best Asteroids Ace you've ever seen. Go ahead and try your skills here.

But no, it won't be people in triangular spaceships that save us from the asteroids, but rather small robotic spacecraft that can attach to and then redirect these Earth impacting asteroids. Imagine 50 small bots flying to then landing on an asteroid on a direct impact course, each using its rocket to steer the asteroid in a different direction. It don't take much in space.

For your regular asteroids. If a Vesta like object were coming at us, better to move off planet. Here's a closeup from Dawn:

"The Snowman".

Once again, people of Earth! Rather than a'fuedin' and a'fightin' with each other, we should instead be building a space infrastructure that 1. Enriches all life on Earth, 2. Protects all life on Earth, and 3. Spreads life from Earth.

We're all Pro-Life, right? Let's get it together, humanity! As we're the only ones here who know better. We cannot count on the other monkeys.

Friends where you find them

Two different examples of dogs and leopards getting along famously. Are there more? I assume we'd only hear about the successful ones.

Theory: If you raise any mammal with a different mammal from day one, they will be friendly towards each other for a good while, even if it is against their nature. For example, raise a lion with a lamb and I bet they'd pal around. For awhile. Or how about a monkey and a dog?

Monkey tickling a puppy. Life! What a thing!

This theory only applies to mammals. Reptiles, fish, all the slimy stuff in the ocean, and most birds, don't give a damn, and will eat their own brothers and sisters if need be as soon as hatched from the shell. Lesson: Eggs are evil. Trust not creatures hatched therefrom!

My Boyfriend's Wife Hates Me

And why shouldn't she? I mean, c'mon! That's not even fair in the least bit. But if you look at all mammal species, the males usually sow their oats wide and far. Humans are culturally restricted to monogamy, but you can tell/feel how men want to spread like Johnny Appleseed. I propose a Truth: Align your ways, your laws, with human nature. Understand that we really are just hairless monkeys given the gift of awareness, and with that gift technology, and aye, cameras everywhere.

We can capture every moment as it happens, as with naughty monkey here, cheeky bastard. The future is bright for absurd internet pictures.

Knows no Genus

Love can't be denied, man. Randy and BIG ELLA were friends for 10 years till one night, a few too many drinks, a strange goodbye turns into a passionate kiss. It was a mistake, of course, since they worked together, but especially for Randy. Given the later mauling, you see.

Speaking of, I love stupid debates about stupid stuff - like could astronauts defeat cavemen, if set in similar circumstances (out in nature, to fend for themselves)? Anyways, could a man defeat a bear in a fight? Let's start with a super huge ninja versus a smallish Black Bear and work our way up. Barehanded, of course. Or, with a big knife?

Could a man fight a lion, and win? Maybe. Maybe the strongest man in the world.

 Ask the Great Google about "Egyptian Man fights Lion". Hilarity to ensue.

Could this Egyptian Hercules defeat a Gorilla as well? Would you fight a gorilla, even if given no choice (like going to die anyway)?

Umm, no? Curling up into a ball and preparing to die would be a perfectly honorable - and Logical - response. Animals are strong, and we're relatively weak.

One thing we, as a species, do excel at in the Animal Kingdom: Sweating. We cool our bodies better than any other large animal and thus are capable of long periods of physical endurance, i.e. long distance running. We can literally chase down wildebeast et al, since, eventually, they must stop to cool down. And we'll keep coming.

Oh yeah, also our awesomely dangerous brains.

A canvas of life (getting bigger)

Breeding is art via flesh, working traits and physical characteristics through the generations, sculpting a new creature into this world of miracles. Dog breeding has been a genetic science for some time, and is evolution in action. All dogs - from the smallest Chihuahua to this monster Irish Wolf Hound - are very related to wolves. They can still interbreed, which means of course they are the same species, but wolves and domesticated dogs are quite different, as we all know. Barking, for example. I read on the interweb today that dog barking is a human influenced evolutionary change in behavior. Wolves don't bark, the adults at least - child wolves do, for attention. And is that not what we've taught our dogs to do? And so through the many generations barking became a genetic behavior lasting into adulthood, since it was rewarded. Evolution in action, in the span of 10-20,000 years or so. And thus consider the many hundreds of thousands, of millions and billions of years evolution has worked through life on Earth. Thus, whales were once hippo-like creatures roaming the land. Just for example - never forget our Monkey brethren!

EVOLUTION people! That this is a debatable subject across America, and sadly spreading across the world, is testament to the ignorant power of Religion.

Cat breeding is a different subject entirely. But still, progress continues, albeit slowly. Giant Maine Coon, y'all!

Could be a trick of perspective, small lady, but still, that's one big cat.

In the Year 5150 (circa)

One of so many wonderful drawings from the book "Man after Man" by Dougal Dixon. Behold for yourself, here. Or, read the Wiki. To wit: A Scottish geologist wonders what man will evolve into over the many, many years to come. Pure speculation of course, but wow, is it wacky. If you're a fan of weird, morbid, art, like Edward Gorey, perhaps, you've got to check it out. Another photo:

This is all the height of lunacy, of course, since everyone knows Jesus will end the world this May 11th, so any future evolution - as if there were even such a thing! - has no chance to turn men into giant solar panel fatasses.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em

An amusing sub-category of "Funny Animal Pictures" is the topic of "Animals Smoking". It's usually monkey related, but lookee here at these bold crows. Caaaa- HACK!- aaaw!

Also:

Smoking sure looks cool, right? This l'il guy sure seems to think so - though it's possible this is an undeclared Photoshop. Judge for yourself.

Gorilla Art

This is Koko. She knows thousands of words in sign language, understands English but cannot speak it, had a kitten, lost a kitten, had a sadz.... she was born July 4, 1971, and still ticking. As you can see, she's also quite the artist. Here's a Koko original, and truly tell me you would know it was painted by a gorilla, and not some dude in a beret:

Pretty, eh?

Me and my Monkey

Everyone needs at least one person who's got their back. L'il Fido here's hooked up. Ain't it the cutest thing?!

A monkey on all our backs

We all have a monkey on our back that has served to seriously degrade the entire world over the last 30 years. And that is the so called "War on Drugs". The very concept is ludicrous, and there's mountains of data to show that prohibition does not work, but in fact only serves to enrich criminal organizations, and, as a consequence, police forces.

I have been following politics very closely, as always, but it's too depressing to talk about (TEABAGGIN' INSANITY!), but there is one issue that is of vital importance, and that's Proposition 19 in California, which is a full marijuana legalization bill. If passed, it would be legal to grow your own marijuana, and/or buy it from licensed stores. In California, of course, for now.

You may smoke, you may not, but this is not really about smoking. It's about logic, and personal responsibility, and addressing the insanity that is our current criminal system.

30-40% of all people in jail right now are there because of drug crimes, and that's just the overall prison population. Incarceration rates for minorities are off the charts. Once convicted of a felony in the US, your productive life is basically over, as there are whole swathes of jobs, and rights, that are no longer open to you. In essence, your life can be destroyed because you sold a plant to a willing customer.

Is that worthwhile? Should America - The Land of The Free - have the highest stated percent of people in prison in the Western world, all in the name of a "War" that cannot possibly be won, and in fact is highly corrosive to the foundations of our society? Look at what's become of police forces in the last 30 years - they've become militarized. They can seize all of your assets if you are convicted of a drug crime, leading to the heavy incentive of proactively busting people for no reason other than you need revenue. Think of the foolish young people who's entire lives are ruined because of one indiscretion. On and on.

And it's not just the USA. Because of our 800lb gorilla status, what happens in the US greatly influences other countries. Mexico is being ripped apart right now because of OUR drug war. Columbia is completely militarized, with our assistance. All in the name of stopping willing people from consuming an easily grown plant. Here's a link to a site with pictures from the Drug War in Mexico - beware, though, as some of the photos are very graphic.

The clear solution to any drug problem is to treat it as a medical issue - like with alcohol. And of course to hold people responsible for their actions while under the influence, like with alcohol. 

But we're almost free. IF California votes to legalize, they will have broken the dam in the Drug War. Other states will surely follow, eventually forcing the Feds to address their policies. And while it's just for marijuana, which alone would have a huge impact in reducing the nihilistic destruction of the Drug War, it would no doubt also usher in a change in mindset which would allow for discussions to begin about legalizing other drugs.

If you value freedom, and personal responsibility, it should be incumbent upon you to support this initiative, regardless of your own use or non-use of marijuana. And once it passes, and the doomsayers are proven wrong (again), we can begin addressing real drug abuse issue the only way they can be addressed: As a medical issue handled between a patient and a doctor, not a prisoner and warden. Take it from this monkey if you don't believe me:

All better! Go CA!

Monkey Equestrian Spectacular!

From the majestic heights of a goat perch, this monkey looks down upon you small, small mortals.

 This monkey, on the other hand, is all about mixing it up. "Rubbin' is racin', y'all!"

 And this monkey just don't care.

Ask and ye shall receive

Example #23 in the lesson "If it can be thought of, it's already been done".

Phases of water

These are Japanese Macaques, or Snow Monkeys. They live in the cold mountains of Japan, and in the winter, they spend a great deal of time in volcanic hotsprings like the one above. Interesting fact about Macaques: They wash their food before eating it, like humans and raccoons and no other animal in this wide world (that we know of, yet).

But that's not why I'm here. Rather, I'd like to point out the phase transitions of water taking place in this picture - you see all three: Liquid, solid, and gas. These are the three states of matter we are very familiar with on this Earth. There is a 4th state, the most common in the universe in fact: Plasma, i.e. what makes up stars (superheated gas phase changes into a plasma). Plasma does not exist on Earth except when we, Godlike, make it. Still, it only lasts for a few moments and then reverts back to a gas.

Phase transitions, as you know, are a function of temperature - that is, each element or molecule will go through a transition of phase with a corresponding temperature change. Hotter temperatures will lead to gases and plasmas, cooler temperatures to liquid and solids. Liquid is the weak leg in these transitions, as there are very narrow bands for each element/molecule where it can exist as a liquid. Solids and gases exist in a far wider range of temperatures. So, consider yourselves blessed beyond belief that we live on a world where water can exist naturally in a liquid state - the foundation of life, in fact (or so we believe for now).

I bet these monkeys appreciate it.

Kabul XXXX

Should just get this one out of the way while I can. These two know each other, by the way, so don't go judging. It's damn boring in Kabul.

Monkey Business

Instead of cowboys and astronauts, it's spreadsheets and staff meetings. As if it was going to turn out any other way, but still: I think we're always surprised to find ourselves fulfilling our destiny.

Not to be

I realized today I can no longer objectively support manned exploration of space. Shuttle missions, sure. Low orbit tourism, why not. But Mars? The Moon? Why? Either it is purely a ra-ra vanity mission, or there would have to be a pretty important reason to spend that kind of money to send people.

For a fraction of the cost, of course, we can send fleets of robots and landers, probes and satellites. And let's face it: America is broke. It''s hard to justify a vanity project when a debtor.

Now, China on the other hand - they've got the cash to consider a glory grab to the Moon. I hope they go for it, but does it make any sense for them to? I don't see it, other than pure national vanity.

Sadly, my childhood dreams of Moon bases and personal rocket ships will not come to pass in my lifetime, and maybe not for a long time, if ever. Alas, also.