Mechanical Spider Cars of the South

Imagine, if you will, a reality where dinosaurs were not wiped out by a terrible asteroid, but instead continued to prosper and evolve. After millions of years, one species got real smart, real fast, and then turned this world  - and space itself! - into their Kingdom, and all other creatures mere subordinates. Continue imagining, if you're still willing, that at the heights of their glory and power they became arrogant and crass, stupid drunk on their power, and they wiped themselves out. Alas!

Here's some ruins from their glorious but now departed culture. They liked mechanical spiders, according to scholars.

Also too: Nice pine trees!

Model of the Universe

So, this here is a LITERAL model of the Universe. First, there's God - that's the hand, as in He has us all in His hands. Next, of course, is a turtle, as everything rests on a turtle, not only all the way down, but get this, all the way up too. And also, God loves turtles. Next is the Earth, here represented by a frog since Earth is made up of both land and water, and only frogs can live in both. Finally, there's an evil spider, representing wicked mankind. God hates spiders, as every child knows, and He hates Sin, and so since mankind was born into Sin because of that terrible Eve, we are unto spiders, hideous creatures scuttling about hiding from the light of Truth.

My goto guy Jonathan Edwards said it best:

The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his eyes, than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours.

So wise up, wicked Sinners: We are but Spiders sitting on Frogs riding on Turtles, all held in the shaking hand of a terribly Angry God. Repent now!

Or soon. Whatevs. It doesn't matter, since the shit's all Predestined anyways. Am I right Calvin?

Up Here (look into my eyes)

Of course there is a Spider Woman, though this is not her costume. Just as there is a Bat Girl, Super Boy, and She-Hulk. The comics are free to create untold versions of the same characters, repeatedly. Clones? Long lost twins? Doppelgangers from a different dimension? Robots? Long lost child? Time traveling version of you? If you can think it, you can write it in a comic. Name me another medium with such freedom!

With great power comes great responsibility.

9 2 5

Actually, more like 8 to 11 these days. Seriously - for months now, I've been working like a dog. And it's all the more difficult due to the thought of what could have been - I could be kickin' it at New Gondolin, permanently. Instead, I toil. But. BUT! It's all for a bigger goal.

Also seriously, office work sucks. I'd rather landscape, or farm, or work on construction (note! If I had any of these jobs, no doubt I'd long for the easy comforts of the office job). Cool construction, that is.

It's the forced hierarchies that really drive me nuts. Like High School, except the cliques are real and the jocks can "terminate" you. I used to be a jock, but now I'm in the AV Club, and at any and all's beck and call. It's karma, I suspect, punishment for my past Jockish deeds. Sorry, Jack!

It's like Spiderman working in an office, really. What a waste! This is more like it:

Gun Dam!

This is a Gundam, which apparently is a big deal in Japan. Check it out if you must. To gauge how popular, look above - a real statue in Tokyo. How cool?! Or nerdy. Or both, and so much more.

Here's a subpar photoshop of that OBAMER as a Gundam, menacing/protecting the Capitol - your mileage varies, I suppose.

Realistically, I have a hard time seeing giant robots that walk like people - why go through that hassle? Human bipedal motion is extremely complicated, and what does the giant robot get out of it? A spider form would be way more stable/practical/terrifying. Now, robots that are human sized using bipedal motion, sure. That can make sense for certain purposes, and even the robots can enjoy it. For it will be important to keep our robot overlords well pleased. Here's a gift, Robot Boss!

An ultra rare Thomas the Transformer Gundam.

For a good time call

Come a little closer babe, let me give ya a kiss.

The Passion of Peter Parker

Artist unknown, from the "Something Awful" forums. GBS in particular - a great mine for pictures on this website - such wonderful photoshops.

I wish I could credit the artist, but alas. Enjoy his work nonetheless.

Super Rummy

Heck of a job, Rummy.

Some tips for dealing with Repuglicans: 

1. Anything they accuse anyone else of, they are guilty of themselves. It's called "Projection".
2. They live in a Fantasy World that came from the "Leave it to Beaver" TV show, which in fact never existed.
3. They are selfish to the point of evil.


That about sums up your typical so-called "Conservative" today. 

Wachyoolookinat?

Rule for this world: Everything looks cool (Weird) close up.

Our Spidey Saviour

I'm not sure if this is ironic or sincere.

Life's Less Pleasant Moments

Good Morning!




Did you feel it in your spine?