The Making of You (No Escape)

The urge to share, to record, to transmit your meaning to others is a powerful part of being human - we're social animals to the extreme, and technology has allowed us to be social in ways never seen before.

Look at this high tech stuff! All replaced of course in the glorious 21st century by

The smart phone, which is truly a wonder. And a horror, for so many reasons - the Selfie high among them.

So don't worry about privacy anymore - not only will the streets and skies and oceans be filled with cameras, but we'll be recording ourselves and others all the time, uploading it onto a cyberspace that will always be fully monitored by governments and corporations.

You have nothing to fear, of course, if you have nothing to hide. Unlike this poor cat.

Everything's Dinosaurs

Every bird you know is a dinosaur descendent. Turtles too. A shorter list would be "Who's not related to dinosaurs?"

Shit's dinotastic.

How Manly, the Warrior

War is politics by different means, and politics is the pursuit of power, and power is sex, and boy, are these warriors manly! Look at how The Leader displays a terrified tiger kitten as an example of his sexual prowess!

Pop quiz: Upon initial glance at this photo, do you have more sympathy for the tiger kitten, or the people these masked hunks have no doubt killed?

Ain't no party like a Chechen warlord party. Woop-woop.

on Fox, on Lion

I am unhappy to report that Fox! has caused me to lower my opinion on foxes - both silver and red. It's not fair, but there you are. So, let us talk of lions. Fake lions:

A Tibetan Mastiff posing as a lion in a Chinese zoo. Real thing. Look it up. Here he is all properly brushed:

There's a resemblance! Speaking of resemblance, behold the first stuffed lion:

The Royal Taxidermist had never seen a live lion, so here you go. But now we are all the better for it, simply for jokes like this:

But alas, bad taxidermy has continued to this day.

And where two badly stuffed lions are feeding, others will gather. Run, little bunny!

Too late. :(

Chaos is hip for the childless

Sure, when you're 27, chaos might seem pretty cool. Nihilism might be awesome at 25. Anarchy is your goal at 21. But, I observe in my gathering dotage, once you have children, these and similar philosophies lose all appeal. I mean, who wants their child to grow up in a Dystopian Thunderdome? Libertarians, maybe. Though I doubt that too.

Also, what the hell is a fox? Dog? Cat? Dogcat? Also too, in New Gondolin news, I had found a rabbit friend who would come up to me in the woods and watch what I was doing. I'd talk to her - "Hi, Mrs. Rabbit. How's life? How are the kids? Hope you're eating well - the grass looks tasty." Etc. She wasn't much of a conversationalist, but she'd twitch her nose and listen. Great listener. Anyways, the other day I came upon an odd looking scat on a trail the rabbit frequently frequented, and consulting my "Big Book o' Scat", I narrowed it down to some type of fox. And I've not seen Mrs. Rabbit since - 6 days! I fear the worst, and I doubt my reward for information will bring any clarity onto this distressing situation.

If you were taken, Mrs. Rabbit, well, I hope your calories help the fox's kids. Cycle of life and all that. RIP.

Dogs in socks and fridges

Fridge Dog is unaligned with Fridge Cat, which is a shame, for if they got together, no one could stop them. Also, Fridge Dog lives in a much healthier fridge, which might be the reason for the nonalignment.

Also, dogs hate socks. So do cats. No animal can handle socks, except for people. Proving our superiority, clearly.

Finally, "Refrigerator" is a terrible word. Too long, hard to spell, and the "Re-" is totally unnecessary. The word "Fridge" should be the official term.

Even more cat stuff for-from the Internet

Ceiling Cat and Basement Cat wage their eternal battle, but what of Fridge Cat? And look at all that beer!

Yo, Pussy. Or Ms. Tabby, if you're nasty. I heard the Intertubes likes cat stuff. So here's some more cool cat stuff for your cat approval.

You ever see a picture of a cat being held by monkey wherein the cat is not totally chill? Exactly. Think about it.

Cats love all life equally, except for things slightly larger than them, and everything smaller. Then it's claws of death.

Not a shop. Cats are natural born killers and are on a genocide campaign across the world against birds. And bugs.

And rodents and bunnies and chipmunks and like I said, everything smaller or just about the same size. They're the terminators of the mammal world - all cats. Like land sharks.

Can you imagine a Catnado? We'd all be crying blood, if not already bleeding out entirely.

Cats! The frisky, fuzzy, purring widdle fluffballs of DEATH.

Even Finer Things

Art. Cat paintings by a schizophrenic.

Music. The cat organ makes dubstep sound tame.

Friends. Best friends forever.

CATS

It was tragic for all involved. But they didn't say that on the news.

I mean, he was a cool cat, a smooth operator as they said, back in the day.

3rd bottle was a bad idea. But if you're goin' away for 30-to-life....

President Cat

Given the direction the USA is heading, we might as well elect a cat as President. Would probably get higher approval ratings, and be able to "reach across the aisle". Although if it were a Democratic Cat, that might not be acceptable to the 27% who hold us all hostage.

HOW MANY MEECES HAS PRESIDENT CAT KILLED?!?!?!

Pain for Sport

I'm not sure this awesome statement by the man, MT, is completely true. Other animals play with creatures before killing them - is that sport? Yeah, kinda. Regardless, this statement is true enough to tell the tale - we are Gods upon this Earth and we kill and torture for sport.

Cruel Gods.

And yet a bull fighter recants, and so proves maybe we can be more than the ultimate killing machines.

Twain loved kitties, and so further cements his Internet God-dom.

Super hunk Mark Twain, writer of words, lover of kitties. A meme machine for mankind for the next 1 to 2 hundred years.

Achtung Intertube

HEY YOU COMRADES! Listen up:

The Office of Defense Health and Welfare has an important message.

Insanity can strike anyone, anywhere. Also, art can arise any where, any way.

Yeah, man.

Cat Drugs

An artistic representation of the Internet. Factually accurate, in fact, except for the lady, since, as all nerds of the Internet know, there are very few ladies on the Internet, and approximately 50% of them are pervy old men also too.

But yes, cat drugs.

Workers of the World!

Class is in session, teaching today is Lenin Cat.

Please keep in mind Lenin Cat does not approve of the Lenins, Stalins, or Maos of the world, as they are totalitarian dictators who used the ideas of Marx to brutally control vast countries/populations, killing millions. Communism sucks. But Marxism is something else entirely, and that's what Lenin Cat is talking about: Power to the workers through freely chosen collectivism and a redistribution of wealth across the entire population fairly. Free food, free housing, free education, free healthcare for everyone, no exceptions.  For we, the 99%, are all workers, and run this world - literally - and always have.

Power to the people! Who else is going to fix/run something like this?

Another sweet Prokudin.

Who, I ask? It is the teachers, the nurses, the bakers, the mechanics, the drivers, the haulers, the sorters and pickers and sewers and stitchers who run this world, who make it possible. Not the uber-wealthy, who always have and always will be an anchor weighing down entire societies. Witness today's Royalty:

Just a quick weekend trip on my plane and yacht! From Rich Kids of Instagram. Witness the bar tabs:

And this shit just goes on and on. It's disgusting. 120K for a bottle of alcohol? Obscene.  Yet he we are, in this reality. What are you going to do about it? Not care? Keep your head down? Join in and help the rich keep everyone down? Your choice, of course. Mine? Hipster War.

Or not. Regardless, workers of the world must unite, for to not is to be individually enslaved. And perhaps we all are already, via debt.  Even if, we still must fight back in whatever ways we can. For instance, don't shop at Wal Mart. Fun fact! The Walton children's collective wealth represents something like 42% of the entire USA population - the lower part, obviously. How can anyone argue extremes like this are in any way good for a society, a country? Trickle down? Jerbs? Tell me more.

Family is what you make it

Or, longer.

This appears to be an adult cat suckling or pseudo-suckling three Ryan Goslings (he's a thing, right? Mary Hartman help me!).

Proving that the mother instinct overrides the predator instinct. Which makes sense - the mother instinct comes from the oldest mammal relative. It's one of the mammalian defining features. Whereas predation is a general skill practiced by all higher level species regardless of families - the strong feed on the week.

Thus, one of the defining features of mammalian behavior is caring for the young, and not just necessarily your young. The root of compassion.

Birds exhibit many similar behaviors to mammals in the loving scale, but I suspect they're faking them all. As they all are monsters, down to the cutest of them. Don't trust birds, man.

This owl, for example, is just biding time before wrecking that gosling's life - not just by killing, but a long slow, torturous psychological undoing. Then killing. Owl's are twisted.