The Future of Space Travel

Since science is boring, and no one is going to make any money in space for at least a hundred years, the future of human space travel is sex. In space. The ultimate in male fantasy.

That'll get the "Dot Com" money flowing.

Date Night

Roger and girlfriend from Canada at Roger's favorite game store.

Later, for dinner. Check out this fancy spread!

Know the risks!

A nest of Waifu-sans, particularly thick. Nests like this originated in Japan but over the last 20 years have spread worldwide. There could be a nest in your town right now.

Infection begins with a young man's sexual frustrations channeled into a cartoon, the obsessive watching of which causes full display of the disease, with the purchase and association with a "Waifu", or Anime Pillow Wife. Once infection has reached this stage the victim will lose most contact with society and instead group with others similarly infected, forming nests.

Be on the lookout if your young son has taken an interest in anything Japanese, as that is the hallmark first sign of infection.

Nice day for a

Red Wedding.

I was well and truly shocked when I read it. An awesome, though bitter twist as I, of course, was on Team Robb. But, alas. Our heroes fall. Because of love, and power. Oh damn you foul GRRM for taking the King in the North from us too soon! And like that? Damn.

Good storytelling though, and that's all that truly matters.

Words are wind

Oh Summer child, give up hope now for any new books from noted author George RR Martin. For he has been taken with writers block and fame, and the Wall shall fall before you see another.

Worse still

Bronies.

"Grown" "men" who define themselves via the relaunched "My Little Pony" cartoon. A cartoon intended for little girls.

Why? No one knows.

 But rest assured, it's disturbing.

For even more (mildly) disturbing Bronies that would not be considered "Work Safe", click below. If you dare.

Dino War on Religion and other Pillars of Society

Behold this work of art! Encapsulating every 10 year old boy's internal storyspace. Dinosaurs at war, with aliens in the mix - somehow!

The dinosaur represents Freedom.

Obama's Goonsquad suffers calamitously in the Dino Uprising.

Also, Demand Full Atheism.

A great disturbance in the Internet

You may have felt strange the other day, for reasons you couldn't explain. Let me: Ben Affleck was named as the new Batman, and nerds across the Internet screamed out in nerdy rage. It was epic, and one of the things I love best about the Internet - nerd panic.

But fret not, fellow nerds. Ben will be fine. Look at this history of Batman for proof:

As always, click for big. Pretty cool - Batman is by now an iconic hero in just about worldwide mythology. I'm a bit disappointed the 1940's TV movie shorts were not included, but alas. Check out the history of the Bat logos in more detail:

Modern mythology is wicked awesome, and if you've avoided it in the past, due to the nerd association, I would advise you to let go your embarassment, your pride, and dive in to the world of comics - the modern hero mythology of the 20th century, and going strong in the 21st.

As for Ben, he'll do fine. I worry about the overall focus of the movie (Superman and Batman) far more. I really enjoyed the new Superman movie and am disappointed it's not getting its own sequel, rather than sharing one with not just Batman, but a new Batman. Don't blame Ben. Blame D.C..

In the meantime, imagine the Batman of your dreams and how Affleck will ruin it for you.

May the Internet be with you.

America the Fantasy

Take a close look, behold the inner mind of a person living in multiple fantasies. Know that there are many people who think this is realistic art, depicting the founding of America. Christian America. White, but specifically, English. No Irish! Not sure about Scots. I assume they're OK. For who else to fight the English wars?

It's funny. I am afraid, today, of the Republican Party for their Orwellian impulses to total control - domestic spying, trumped up wars used for political purposes, doublespeak, etc, all the while using a cult like religion as the binding material - you wouldn't want to burn in Hell, would you? And yet here, in this art, you see a Wingnut's take on Orwell - the Liberal Nanny state, bent on total control through liberal agendas like peace and safety. It's ludicrous, though there's a point, I suppose. Authoritarians come in all kinds of different flavors. But one thing's clear about gun nuts, which this artist obviously is (or seeks to inspire), and that is

Your typical gun nut is a loser, scared of the world, of himself, and so he buys guns and swims in fear and is ready for the first attack, or so he thinks. Swimming in fear makes you jumpy, and error prone.

To wit: Despite attempts to create alternate realities (white Christian America defended with guns against the scary foreign hordes come to take all your stuff), there is such a thing as a more objective reality. One that can be agreed upon by a majority of folks. Here's the facts:

1. America was not founded as a Christian nation, though indeed many of the founding dudes were Christians, or - GASP! - Theists.
2. While America was very English/Scottish for the first 100 years or so, it quickly assimilated many immigrant populations such that even the Irish were welcomed to the cool kid's table.
3. Guns can be used for needed work, and sport. Owning an arsenal is not needed, and the possession of one marks the person as a lunatic.

Questions?

Batfreud

All the heroes were involved in the war effort (WW2 only - the other wars, not so much), but as a nerd, I'd like to raise a quibble: If you've got Superman, Batman, and Robin on your side, instead of having them raise and harvest Victory Gardens you instead used them to, oh, I don't know. Kill Hitler? But alas! There are no real heroes. Just drawings, or words, or characters on a screen.

From the original Batman serial film series - 1949, yo! Batman and Robin. The baggy leotards are intimidating, yes? But still, 1949! These 15 short stories ran before the featured movie of the day.

It's interesting to note through art the changing of society's standards. All the tough guys from the early days of movies and tv look like [arnold]little girly men[/arnold]. No definition! Do they even lift?

When you're "Adam West" smooth, maybe you don't need to be jacked.

Your car needs to be, however. Gee whiz tools define the character.

And now consider the Batman mythos as underlined here - created in 1939, WW2 propaganda campaigns, and already with a film series in 1949. A popular TV series in the 60's. Also a wacky movie. Movies in the 80's - 10's. And so many, many comics. A myth is born before our eyes, and enters the Jungian collective - we all "get it", right? Rich playboy with tragic background fights evil using cool toys? It's an expression of our desire for fairness in a closed, controlled system that is not fair, in which we are mostly powerless. A modern hero, for modern times.

Batman also might be a symbol for revenge, but I leave that for you to judge, and also what it says about humanity if true.

Defenders of the Poles

Send back your War Machine, man!

Santa exploits his elves, just like Keebler. In fact, Santa and Keebler are both members of the EBB. Co-incidence? I think not!

We, the Defenders of the Poles, shall expose these gross injustices of justice and root out the corrupt elfsploitation that is all too rampant in the cold nether regions of planet Earth. Join us! The link is in the upper right.

Poles (North and South), Represent!

Dots assembled

Here's a map from the 1860's showing the slave population of the south - the darker areas have more slaves. And now:

2008 Presidential election results. Red equals Republican, Blue, Democrat. Just a co-incidence, I'm sure.

Explains a good deal, when you consider the politics of America.This, however?

A map of NFL fans based on Google searches. Witness Steeler Nation! Also, sadly, Cowboys. Smallest real estate - NY Jets.

Fantasy Art

The Imp triumphant. Yet he got no credit - for shame, Westeros!

Arya Stark, as drawn by John Picacio. Wonderful and realistic, with edges of fantasy.

Would look fine on the side of an Ecoline.

Or yeah perhaps this too, also. Any Phoenix fans in the house?

Captain Picard Day 2012

Just follow the recipe, really, that's the secret to any trick. Just follow what sticks.

Jean Luc is where it's at. Lost? Discombobulated? Riding tides of rides of goats and camels and what the fucks? Put your faith in Captain Picard, for surely, no saner, more reasonable man has there been in the Federation light years wide. Even if made of cake, ask yourself: What would Jean Luc Picard do? And follow that answer.

Babies are our future, don't ya know? Treat them well and let them lead the way. Also, they are pure awesomeness.

Hello Metal Slave Bikini Kitty

Sexy Slave Hello Kitty is reason number 4815 that I must get myself to a Comic Con some point soon. I seem to just keep missing them in my local area, and am not that committed to travel to one. Inertia, you know? But to see wonders like this costume with my own eyes would check a little box in my heart. And that's the whole point of life, right?

Rugs of Pride

Presented as a contender for "The coolest rug of all time". Dragon with arms, demon, snakes, and super battle babe with wicked scimitar. It truly has it all. Would also be a contender for coolest van mural, were this epic artwork on the side of a van. But sadly it is not - another addition to my "If I won the lottery" list. I would buy the pimpiest van laden with the shaggiest shag sporting this masterpiece on the outside as I cruise the Loop at the beach. So cool.

This Russian family is very proud of their rug. It's no dragon rug, to be sure, but it's nice. Who's the lady in the middle of this photo? Second wife or oldest daughter? Relative? Friend? Anyone read Russian? Or is it Greek? I love that there are Russian (and Spanish and Greek and German and Japanese and every language, probably, that accesses the internet) versions of classic internet memes. The meme is beyond language - everyone gets the joke. At different levels.

Ardaphile

The best map of Arda - Earth - I've ever seen. It's lovely. I've long loved maps of all kinds, fascinated by the perspective - so high up. Of course, as with all things, some are more beautiful than others.

Can you find Gondolin? Morgoth couldn't for the longest time, but then, he's got plenty of it. All it takes is a mistake, a small slip, and evil comes marching in.

Find out more by reading the fantasy bible, The Silmarillion.

Another World

It's like a fantasy land written by a bearded Sperglord. But it was real, and here captured in 1910 by Prokudin. Dude ruled - here is he, indeed, chilling by an olde tymey stream:

A macro:

Prokudin's got it right: Everyone needs a walking stick. A sturdy one is useful for so many pursuits.

A Flaming Chainsaw of Justice

I LOVE the Betty White internet meme. I have no idea where it started or why, but now that it's got legs, I get it completely. GO MEME GO!

Also too: This is my kind of art. No idea the artist, but FSM damn I admire them greatly for spending time crafting this masterpiece. Just imagine a world where a terrible Betty White hunts down evildoers with her Flaming Chainsaw of Justice whilst riding her trusty John Ritter steed. Comically terrifying.

Nerd's Delight (Fantasy Aside)

Click for big. And you really should, especially if you are a nerd or a person with nerdish tendencies. For it shows - to scale - every spaceship of every fairly recent space based sci fi show. It's remarkable! Take your time, please.

I marvel at, 1. The scale of my old favorite Star Trek ships to Star Wars, and 2. How I, since I was but a wee lad, have been obsessed with space ships. There's something so resonant there for me, and always has been there, it must mean something, right? What, I have no idea. Other than I have always been a giant nerd.

But I am TOTALLY cool with my nerdom now (not so much as a younger man), since I've scaled the ranks of the Popular Kid's club over and over again, mostly on my own terms, and what I found up there was: Nothing much.

Far better to pursue your sincere interests - and work hard to broaden your mind to discover interests you might never have known - with honesty and passion, and never any shame. For what is there to be ashamed of? Trust me: It doesn't matter what the Popular Kids think. They're pretty much all dumbasses, douchebags, and bitches. Who cares about them? And thus, let your Nerd Flag fly proudly!

Like this guy:

Live Long and Perl!

Oh, and since I know you're dying to know - and I am dying to record for posterity - I won a miraculous comeback in Fantasy last night, with everything going my way. It was incredible, as I put the odds of such an event happening at about 10%. But happened it did, and now I move on in the playoffs. And to clear up your confusion, I see Fantasy Football as only tangentially related to real football. I don't really care much who wins or loses any real football game, but rather only care about my current, past, or future Fantasy investments. For it is all a mathematical game more akin to a closed stock market, with of course plenty of luck and bad breaks. Buy low, sell high, maximize short term situations but always with a long term plan. Also, know your scoring rules and exploit them in every capacity. I've been consistently successful for many years, but have never broken through and won the big game. This year I came in with some bold new strategies and the number 1 pick and have flown high all year, but I am in it to win it and anything but the Title Belt will be a failure. And so my heartbreak on Sunday as I got torched by Brees and while doing well, saw all kinds of chances slip through my fingers - Et tu, AP? But alas! Monday night miracles happen, complete with explosions and power outages - and I prevailed by the slimmest of margins - 2.2 points. The last thirty minutes of the game were incredibly exciting.

As I'm sure was this entire aside. Thanks for reading and good luck to you if you are still alive in the greatest game of skill in the land: Fantasy Football. Who-Ah!