What if?

There's not enough words in the world to describe all the fucked up shit that has and will go down.

Keep Ur fires burning. Know that I burn with you, and am taking pictures.

Smile!

Life is the prize, you fool.

The Circle of Redshirt

Red alert! Female approaches! To battle stations!

And so a new Redshirt is brought into this cruel world, by accident. So many accidents, and by accident, we stumble forward, ever swelling in numbers. Safety in numbers, y'all.

Workin' at the Circus

Another commute to work. Left turns are usually the worst. And drive thrus. Haters also too.

OG (pre-old-school)

Word. L'il gangsta's keepin' it real. And extra fresh.

But seriously: Hilarious. And sad - this boy's life is no doubt already ruined, destined for frequent run ins with the law and perhaps an untimely death. And for why? The sins of his parents.

Also too: Memes repeating at the cultural level. The gangsta look is relatively new in China, but I bet it's extremely popular among certain groups. Imported via evil American media, no doubt.

Think of the power of the meme - someone/people in America invents gangsta culture, based on mafia movies. This invention in turn inspires people in far away lands to emulate that culture, thereby producing behaviors that would never occur organically. The meme jumps from mind to mind and can re-write everything if the winds are right.

True Love (Crushing Loneliness)

So yeah, Furry sex doll, apparently - not the I knew these things beforehand, O Wicked Internet, what horrors you have shown me - very well constructed, using space age plastics and synthetic skin and all kinds of space age stuff. IE Expensive. But that's what coin is for - to drop. And what else but beer and wood does this bachelor have to buy? So sad.

I surmise with no actual facts or data that we are living in an unparalleled age of loneliness, the likes the world has never dreamed. Millions of men and women walled up somewhere far away from others, even if physically close (ya ever think about apartment walls, and how close someone else's life is like two feet away?). In most of human history you had little choice but to hang out with at least some other people. There were no single apartments for the rabble in 500 BCE, I assure you.

Loneliness breeds lots of things, one of them - weirdness. How could it not? And so for the last 50-100 years we in the "west" have been building a whole new humanity - Virtual. Living physically isolated from others yet hooked in via electronic entertainment. This new humanity is going to be weird.

Jar Jar Binks Tongue Candy

Literally. I mean, yes, look at it - I believe you were supposed to suck Jar Jar's tongue for Forceful flavor. Or something. Maybe it was a flashlight? I have no idea where I got this photo. Feels like China though.

Orton Paparazzi

Kyle Orton is an NFL Quarterback. That's about the best that can be said. This is from someone's facebook account, some years back, but probably never got any attention at the time, since, you know, it's Kyle Orton.

But it's true - there's always someone out there that can love even the most hideous monster:

Rainbow Express to American Football Valhalla, ja?

Profiles in Manhood

Ah, men (human and alien). The cause of, what? 98% of the world's problems? All the wars, by far - by far - most of the crime, the violence and murder, the wanton cruelty of the powerful over the powerless. Men - if you had to exclusively and effectively profile one group, skip the Arabs or Russians or Chinese; profile every man - we're the cause of all the trouble!

For example, alcohol, and foolish behavior. Men excel at this, imbibing both with gusto. For example, chugging. Here's an oldy but always a goody:

A wonderful piece of art - please note the very partly consumed shrimp flying through the air. You put that much liquid into a semi-permeable container and at some point - quickly! - it's gotta come out.

Freudian Field Day, Chicago, 1983

I presume the Patriarchy was only fully established with the first cities, which by necessity required power structures to operate, and these were all run by men. From there, success leads to success, power leads to more power, and 1000's of generations have lived a massive dichotomy: Men run everything, and are the cause of all humanity's problems. Maybe it's time for something new?

Let's go Matriarchy! Women would do a better job of running everything, since they've got more in the game. Sure, perhaps over time, women with power would turn into bloodthirsty monsters bent on crushing all their enemies. But perhaps they would not! And that's better odds than with men, with whom we've had an ample sample size.

But alas! Divide and conquer does indeed prove ruthlessly effective, and all it takes to keep women from rightfully taking over is a small percentage of turncoats, or, in this case, women drinking alcohol, acting the fool.

Rock n' roll!

Awesome News (Almost Here)!

Such a strange, sad psychology - actively excited at the thought of the death of billions of people. Consider that fully.

Well, the day is here. END TIMES! And yet, it's a bit worrisome that we've not yet heard of killer monster earthquakes in New Zealand and Australia - since the Rapture is supposed to start at 6PM local time, today. Maybe there's no Chosen in Christchurch? Still, as God's Preferred Timezone - EDT, baby! - I'll wait till 6 here before I rest easy.

I mean, how could so many sincere people be so wrong?

See you on the other side, sinners.

Fools rush in

3 days, really, but you get my drift. Remember! According to the Bible - which guarantees it - the Rapture will begin at 6PM per time zone - yes, moving around the world according to man made time zones - and will feature an 8.3 MEGAQUAKE in every area of Earth at 6PM, again, local time. It's in the Bible, look it up! So, to play it safe, I'd keep sinning until about 3pm Saturday, local time, then start with the atonement. Also, have a nice light meal and refreshing beverage - as an immanent Rapturee, this will be your last meal on Earth.

Hey NYC! You can thank this guy for the many 5/21/11 ads around the city the past few weeks. He spent $150K of his savings in order to move up to Business Class on the Rapture plane bound for heaven. Amen!

You don't want to get Raptured but trapped in your house! Get RaptureHatch now (actually, it's too late. Stay outside!)!

The Beer Warrior

Young males, defined. Fools, all, yet sometimes with surprising design skills.

And so on this Cinco de Mayo, young males, go forth, and get stupid. For Mexican freedom.