Choose the next Pope!

So the Pope's resigning, which is kind of weird. Hasn't happened in 600 years. And on the night of the resignation, LIGHTNING! Message from above, y'all. So it's time to choose a new Pope as per ancient tradition: Photoshop. From the good folks at Something Awful, here's some possible candidates.

Space Pope. He's got my vote, if I had one.

Owl Bear Jesus. He controls the Ironic Hipster voting bloc, but few others. Unlikely.

The first AI candidates - times are changing! Number 5 has made a lot of friends with his engaging style, while The Terminator is not a natural politician, to say the least. He does have some influence with the Inquisition wing of the Church.

A dark horse contender from South America, Weedlord Bonerhitler. He might serve as a compromise candidate other groups rally round to support.

Watch out for that white smoke, brahs! Gonna be exciting!

Power of the Lego

Amazing. I drool. Though I imagine I wouldn't have the patience necessary to construct such a wonder. It's a 3D puzzle, with instructions and a cool end product. I understand Lego now!

This is the Super Star Destroyer, Darth Vader's personal flagship. When a regular Star Destroyer just ain't enough. And thus a parable for our EXTREME society - when the regular Star Destroyer wowed audiences in 1977, something bigger was needed to get the same wow in 1980. And so on, forever. This is the power of EXTREME.

The Redemption of Vader. But can Vader be redeemed? Is there a point where your crimes are so great no amount of good deeds can save you? Is killing the most evil dude in the Universe good deed enough? Scholars will debate these questions long into the future.

Thanks to the prequels (oh what a double edged sword) we know Anakin Skywalker was a precocious kid who turned into whiny teen then self absorbed Brah who just happened to be the Chosen One. Also, brainwashing from that evil dude. And so the ultimate henchman was made, in machine and metal, living on a whim of the evil dude. The Vader the world came to fear - and still does - was really just a sad sack Savior twisted by the Devil, but did a really good deed in the end. Hooray, mythology! Even better when told in Lego form.

No Time Nor Rhyme

I didn't really have space ennui; I was being glib for the sake of a phrase. Frankly, I've got no time for ennui these days, nor any of its mopey variations. I've done my share of regret/guilt hairshirting in the past and I learned there's nothing to get from it, other than negatives. Learn the lesson you need to learn in order to not make the same mistake again, and move on. Leave whatever it was in the past.

For, life IS a Giant Space Otter Queen, and when she leaps out to attack you, you won't have time for "Woe's Me." There doesn't need to be a reason or a warning or even fair play - life is predictably unpredictable, and the sooner you learn this lesson, and live it, the better.

Keeping your mind flexible, prepared to adapt, and not stuck in the past (nor dreading the future) is a simple formula to success and happiness. IMO!

Space Pope Commands You

More Guinea Pigs in the collection plates, flock.