Always Worse

Another McNaughton, the Wingnuttiest painter there's ever been. Maybe - he's pretty Freepy. Check out the all star quarantine island of liberal hood: Katie Couric, David Letterman, Satan. Also, note the wind turbines on the left causing the tornado on the upper right. Wind power is of the devil, cuz: Liberals. The source of everything bad, you see, according to a Wingnut. A Teabagger. A Republican.

I read a summarized collection of current FreeRepublic posts - I'd rather not wade in directly. For you see, it is a pit of hate and stupidity, fear and rampant paranoia. They were of course cheering the Zimmerman verdict. Why? To piss off Liberals. That explains just about everything about them, by the way - they just want to piss off Liberals. They're crazed, as if possessed by some vile demon given to wanton hatred and disgust. And they've always been with us:

They used to be called "Birchers", after their membership or affinity for The John Birch Society - a collection of far right whackos. But they used to be fringe, on the margins, made fun of, not taken seriously by anyone serious. Now, however, they are the Republican Party, and they are literally at war with America.

They believe they are in a war, and are acting as such. Everything you see on Fox News is a propaganda element in their war. Believe it, for though it seems hyperbolic and unrealistic, these things are really happening. The Republicans have the chance to send the world financial system into depression in a few months, by not raising the borrowing limit of the USA. This has been done automatically hundreds of times in past administrations, it's routine. But not anymore, for once again the Republicans of the House (and they only - a small percentage of the US Government holding the rest hostage - it's breathtaking in the audacity) will play with the fate of the very modern world, over what? Better healthcare insurance for poor people? This is it, by the way. But hey, that's what evil does: Evil.

Through Freeper Eyes

You may have been taught that one of the founding principles of America was the separation of Church and State. You may also have been taught a concept called "The Melting Pot", wherein anyone in the world could become American. In fact, much of America's growth came from people moving here in hopes of a better life for themselves and their family - odds are, your family was one of them. It's even chiseled into the Statue of Liberty:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses, yearning to be free".

But you were wrong. You probably went to a PUBLIC SCHOOL, yes? Well, see, there's your problem. LIBERAL BRAINWASHING.

As any Real American knows (for Real American, read: White Conservative Male), America's a Christian Nation, we speak English, and all them swarthy bastards can go back to what ever hole they crawled out of.

FREEDOM! And Jesus, also too.

The Real Racists

Ask a Wingnut - he'll tell you who the real racists are. Black people, and "their" racist-in-chief, Barack Hussein Obama.

There's your four cultural hotbuttons to fire up the rednecks and get them to forget that rich white men are robbing them blind. But, Obama!

It's just a joke! Don't you libtards have a sense of humor?

Oh boy, do the non-racists of the rightwing love Michelle Obama.

Adventures with White Folk

A man goes to the carnival and tries his hand at bucket toss, and keeps trying, and keeps trying - you can't quit till you win, right? This is America!

Yup, he bet everything on his skill at a carny game, and lost. Out of sympathy, the kind hearted carny gave him the Rasta Banana for his troubles. But Henry here instead is outraged and gets the cops involved, on the poor, hardworking carny - he was cheated! No way he coulda lost that many times in a row! No police investigation is underway at this time, however.

And so instead Henry tries to cash in on his temporary Internet fame as a schmuck, trying to sell the Rasta Banana to the highest bidder. Once again, America!

Also too:

Hey lady, I done just threw this truck up yonder tree, and now I stand here barechested askin' for your hand to dance.

Tune in next week for another exciting Adventure with White Folk!

We must protect this Bull!

You ain't gonna worship this sacred bull, buddy. Move along, pal, nothing to see here.

Brass balls!

24/7 protection by NYC's finest, except

When Christians want to unironically pray to their Golden Bull for the Resurrection of the economy in 2008. You know, for Jesus!

But like Jesus, they all died and rose from the dead. BRAINS, MORANS! Which led to the fences, of course. After all:

So no more of these pictures, alas!

Which really is no big loss - we've already got enough.

Bare Arms

The few smart Republicans long ago figured out that playing to people's fears is the only way they can win votes. And so that's what they've done, and convinced many people to be scared enough to support them. Fear is the entire Republican platform.

Stop being afraid and Repukes, and the Terrorists, and the Wars for no reason, disappear. Right Wingers are literally a cancer on humanity and kill whenever they emerge, but they can be defeated easily by simply organizing against them.

Like Son

Only in Europe! Cowboy Reagan riding a cruise missile. Totally not phallic, but rather emblematic of the "freedom by gun" principle America is so famous for. St. Ronaldus Magnus of course the hero of all time for banishing evil forever, defeating the USSR, destroying the Unions, and liberating the COMMUNIST occupied country of Grenada. Also, Star Wars, in the not cool sense. He was the harbinger of the bellicose, ignorant American sitting astride the world, LOL'ing while bombing.

You see, before Ronnie, all Americans of power at least tried to act intelligent and civilized, even if they were faking it. But Ronnie was dumb and proud, a common sense man from a ranch where he tilled the Earth and whispered to horses and didn't have time for your elite, liberal chatter. Like you and me! This plays well to the mob, and tied with several historical trends and a deliberate manipulation of American society via propaganda, we have the America of today. Violent has hell, with more people in jail percentage wise than anyone on Earth, enthralled to a dumb party of religious bigots who don't even understand in the least the religion they try and shove down your throats. An obese society led by morans. And in this society the GUN is holy and sacred, a totem of your freedom and power, the means to overthrow tyrants and zombies, should they arise.

Due to incredibly successful propaganda from, in large part, the NRA, guns are the thing you must own (if you're white. If any other color, sorry, no) if you are a Real American. And not just one, but dozens. And even though your odds of dying by gun go way up as soon as you have one in your house, instead you think this gun will protect you from all your fears. Your many, many fears - black men, communists, anarchists, feminists, jack booted government thugs, on and on, the fears are legion. And so a gun for each. Don't forget the kids, either.

Just playing war, you might say. Sure. And kids played war in the past, or cops and robbers, or cowboys and indians, and this is true. All these games are basically the same. I ask you though, how long have American children been playing these games? Since the 50's? Earlier? If so, when? I think post WW2 is roughly the time these games became popular with children, helped in part by toys marketed towards these games - cap guns, army men, tanks and battleships. Other than the urban crime generated by prohibition in the 20's, America has never seen crime and violence like in the 60's and 70's. Co-incidence? Maybe.

Just another "kid" playing army man. A far more intense, immersive version, almost real in some degrees. I know this will not be popular with my audience, but violent video games have an affect. Playing with guns has an affect. Being soaked in violence on TV, movies, and in music has an affect. Culture has an affect. Politics has an affect. And most everything about America in the last 30 years - maybe forever - has been violent and cruel. We're a death culture, and that has an affect in the people raised within that culture.

Everything we do, say, and think has an affect. Especially on our children, who learn by watching us, of course. When we teach these kids to be Wingnuts, then aye, we shall reap the Wingnut Whirlwind. Which is death, violence, discrimination, and wanton cruelty.

Accept this and cede, hide out of the way, hope the next shooting won't involve you or your loved ones. Or fight it.

Now's the time for fighting, by the way.

Beck Piss Anti-Christ

As we all suspected, Soros is the source of all that is Fallen in this sad world. Preach it, Brother Beck! But alas, you too are suffering mightily under the evil of the Anti-Christ among us, and have been banished from Fox, long gone from CNN (Yeah, Beck used to be on CNN Headline News. Go imagine that time. Remember, and shudder.), now to wander the lonely roads of podcasts and secret cable channels. Woe! America read your chalkboard, and sent you packing.

In the depths of your desolation, look how your chalkboard has grown! So complicated and interconnected! It makes dumb people feel smart - seriously. Like they're in college. Not joking.

But what's that?! A mason jar of Glenn Beck's piss? Is he selling it? Is it a purification method to rid the body of fluoride?

Nah, man. It's art. Beck's Piss Anti-Christ. That's Barack Obama in there, you see. It's a three-fer in terms of symbology.

Buy gold, ammo, and bread machines also too.

Bumper Sticker Revelation

I bet he loves Jesus too. What Wingnut doesn't? Just a co-incidence, though. Right wing anger has nothing to do with Religion.

He really doesn't like Islam. Wonder why? Personal interaction with Muslims? Right wing brainwashing?

Also too, I had a revelation: I've come to appreciate dumb right wing bumper stickers. Anyone who would willingly put such stupidity and hate on their vehicles has a 98% probability of being dumb ass morans. Easy identification. And best to avoid morans whenever you can. Thanks, morans!

Both sides do it

You see? Because this photoshop was created, LIBERALS are as bad as noble Conservatives. Both sides do it, and in fact, Conservatives are just responding to LIBERAL SLANDERS. Sure, Conservative rule inevitably leads to the deaths of thousands and a continued decay of all that is good and sturdy. But, LIBERALS!

The fevered brain of the wingnut, insipid in its glowing hot hatred. You want to think of them as normal folk, because that's what you - an intelligent person - naturally wants to do. Respect. But hear me true - they're insane, and cannot be reasoned with. To them, W. was a Titan of awesome Presidenting, and OBAMER is a failure beyond description, beyond Carter. Even if the facts are completely opposite. Facts have no place in this brave new world order.

There's a pretend war (made real) on. Are you in?

Monsters among us

And yet, at this very moment, millions of Americans are lamenting the oppression of the evil OBAMER administration. Look here, and see their fears turned into horrible art - George Soros, the evil behind all evils, apparently, in the Wingnut fevered brain, feeding his minions, OBAMER! among them.

This is how Wingnuts see the world - as a terrible fantasy where they are forever the victims fighting back against the evil LIBERAL monsters.

IE stupid monsters, capable of anything. Monsters on all sides, nichtwar?

But there is still Truth, or closer approximations of it, and lies and ignorance.

Where do you stand? And if it's for Truth, then it's time you started pushing back against the forces of lies and ignorance.

A chance

BHO is different than any President America has had in dozens of ways. These differences should be celebrated, but to a loud and sizable minority these differences are terrifying. Hence the wingnuts, among other reasons. But I say to thee, Wingnut - even if you don't agree with his policies, you must respect the man, his family, and the journey he has taken. Right?

70's Barry was cool. Choom Gang, represent.

It's true. One world, and we all want the same thing at root - peace for ourselves and our family. For our children.

Given a chance, a poor but loved child gained the most powerful position in the history of humanity - President of the US. This IS the American myth come true, and should be celebrated as such. Even if you don't agree with the policies. Though you're a moran if you don't.

Bitches Do Not Know

Our Founding Fathers. A band of super awesome Rambo dudes who blew up shit and asked questions maybe later. If they were bored. What's to question? Jesus did it. In the Wingnut brain, which is fevered.

US Grant is cool cuz he was drunk and fucked shit up. But! If you ask your average Wingnut about him, he'll be conflicted, cuz he was also a DIRTY NORTHERN LIBERAL SCUM! So says the Tribe. And thus in the SOCIALIST column.

SOCIALIST as fuck!

Black n' White

A madness has infected America - Wingnuttery. It's a contagion at this point, replicating via right wing radio and tv. This contagion is spreading globally to the detriment of the entirety of humanity. But! This small percentage of infected Americans - usually around 27% full infection, 15-17% partially infected - is growing increasingly marginalized, least of all by the radicalization of the rest of the population. One cannot simply sit back and let evil take over unchallenged. Rohan? Will you stand?

The Wingnuts today are still seeking payback for the impeachment of Nixon - Clinton went down because of this - and view him as a victim of the LIBERAL AGENDA rather than any malevolent being on his own. Also too, given his policies during his Administrations, they'd burn him - but cognitive dissonance is never a problem for the Wingnuts.

Never fear! A Savior came and rescued America from the grip of the LIBERALS:

St. Ronnie Raygun, Bringer of the Madness. At this point, you've got to view Reagan in one of two ways (with some nuance, of course, but not worth discussing with the Wingtards, since nuance is a concept lost upon them): 1. The greatest President evah!, or 2. A dottering fool used to usher in an age of American fascism.

Did you pick #1? You probably HATE this guy then, amirite?

FDR. The DEVIL hisself. I mean, he gave America generations of wealth and comfort for the aged and ill, and oh yeah, won WW2. LIBERAL SCUM!

Not a 'shop, by the way - how awesome is that? Also too, everyone back then was pretty damn ugly  - evolution in action?

Hey D'oh

Hey, Dolphin. What up?
Oh right, head into glass.
Ouch.
(Dumbass.)

Iced Cream Man's Lament

You might think all iced cream men and women would generally be happy folks, since their work often involves bestowing joy and frozen treats to the people. But I'm sure it's not all Harbor Bars and laughs. Rather, like with almost all jobs, the monotony and stupid people ruin everything, slowly but surely until even aye, dispensing a swirl cone no longer stirs the heart with delight, but rather dulls the soul with crushing sadness.

Or maybe that's just me. Any iced cream people out there want to speak up?

Red Power (Fresh Gagh)

Nothing better for a growing young man than fresh blood gagh, a true warrior's meal. Add in some P'Tak Fingers and Blue Milk and you've got all the makings of a balanced Ginger's breakfast.

Gingers. Freaky folks, right? Everyone knows it. But now, a bold prediction! Gingers are about to become "It" - Red Power is rising. Here's why:

Neanderthals. Cave people. The formerly stupid and dumb brutes who, the story went, died out at the hands of the vastly superior human, homo. Us - we rule!

But we're learning more and more about them - that's what science does, after all. And not only have we recently learned they were often redheads, but that they were already dying out well before humans arrived in Europe. And most importantly, they didn't completely die out, as Neanderthals and humans mated, and had children, and those children had children, and so on, all the way to us.

The twist? There were other, different ancient human species in other parts of the world - the Denisovans lived in Asia, and they too mated with the humans who moved into the region, passing on their genetic code.

In Africa, however, the domination of Homo Humans was long complete, and there were no other human species for hundreds of thousands of years. And thus, Africans are the "purest" humans, as both Asians and Europeans have "cavemen" genes. Or so this theory goes.

Since the racists of both continents will not allow this to stand, I predict these ancient human relatives - Neanderthals and Denisovans - will get a major upgrade in reputation, and become strong, intelligent, generally awesome and something to aspire to, and yay, verily, red hair will be the surest sign of these desirable caveman traits, as it is believed the gene for red hair came from the Neanderthals. Can't have Africans being superior or, EGADS! Purer now, amirite?

But it's true. Truth doesn't matter to racists, though. And genes are just genes and it is we, humans across the world, who decide what it's going to be. Sadly, we're easy to predict.

OMGOSSUM!!!

Fun fact to know and share: Every animal and fish on this planet - you, me, the birds, the frogs, trout, whales, and even the freaky opossum - is but a modification of the original fish vertebrate that is all our direct ancestor way, way back when - two eyes, two arms, two legs, everything's basically the same, just in different configurations.

Proof enough of evolution, for any doubters, I'd think. But then, no amount of proof is enough for some.