Everything's Dinosaurs

Every bird you know is a dinosaur descendent. Turtles too. A shorter list would be "Who's not related to dinosaurs?"

Shit's dinotastic.

Friends where you find them

Two different examples of dogs and leopards getting along famously. Are there more? I assume we'd only hear about the successful ones.

Theory: If you raise any mammal with a different mammal from day one, they will be friendly towards each other for a good while, even if it is against their nature. For example, raise a lion with a lamb and I bet they'd pal around. For awhile. Or how about a monkey and a dog?

Monkey tickling a puppy. Life! What a thing!

This theory only applies to mammals. Reptiles, fish, all the slimy stuff in the ocean, and most birds, don't give a damn, and will eat their own brothers and sisters if need be as soon as hatched from the shell. Lesson: Eggs are evil. Trust not creatures hatched therefrom!

Termitortoise

The Termitortoise.

Listen, and understand! That Termitortoise is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Could be said of all reptiles, really. Ever seen a "pet" lizard? Dude is cold blooded, and don't give a shit about you except for the food.

Take home lesson? Don't fuck with tortoise. Turtles, on the other hand, are eminently fuck with-able. But please don't, as they're so cool, and hapless, as previously discussed.

Pacific Trash Vortex

Aye, in the Pacific but in fact in all oceans, to a lesser degree, a great vortex of trash has formed over the past 50 years and only gets bigger every successive year. Due to currents, but you are not destined by currents unless you want to be. And you don't want to poison/starve cute little turtles, do you?

Reduce, reuse, recycle!

Clown Monster

Available for Birthday Parties, Bar Mitzvahs, and Kindergarten Graduation Celebrations!

Thesis: There's "culture" fears, and instinctive, primal fears. Example: Fear of clowns is a culture fear, particular to our time. Before clowns, before jesters, there was no such fear.  Fear of snakes or snake creatures is universal and genetic, species wide, spanning the entirety of humanity. Fear of reptiles is hardwired into all mammals, based on those bad old times some 80 million years ago.

Culture fears bubble up out of the primal realm, assuming different forms based on the time and society, but always connected to a primal fear. Fear of clowns, for example? Fear of the Other/the Absurd (no control). Anyone not in your tribe, and acting all freaky n' shit, is an instant ENEMY. This covers lots of cultural fears, of course.

All that said, damn ain't clowns scary as heck?!

Two Roads Lay

I delved deep into the vast photo archive that is my hard drive, growing ever larger by the day, searching for the next step, as this blog is an ever going series of steps, one to the next. And yay, is not this life as well? Anywho, I divined two roads, leading in different directions, each with merit and hints of providence. I pondered overlong, then realized I could go all Gordian Knot on this jam and roll with both. For all things are possible on the Tubes. RAmen.

Old lovers dug up from the sands of time. Dust and ashes is true enough, as the Bible says, since we are made up of dust and ashes from Supernova that produced the heavy elements that make up our entire world and everything on it. And assuredly we will return to this dust and ashes, just like our entire world will be reduced back to dust and ashes with the Red Giant phase of the Sun.

We are dust and ashes given life, given time to move, and think, and be, however brief.

And while we dance and sing today, consider ALL the people that lived before - like this couple, circa 30,000 BC (not this picture, just for example). A guy and and a gal in love, trying to make their way in this crazy world of saber tooth tigers and weird ass CAVEPEOPLE (Neanderthals), among many other perils. They were just like you and me, and no doubt shared many of the same hopes and dreams, however distantly removed. For you, me, all the people ever to have lived, stretching backs hundreds of thousands of years of men and women falling in love and fucking, bringing forth the next generation of people, as dictated by the genes. Sex is why we're here, and what we're here to do. Love is the engine created by evolution to foster this sweaty endeavour. And lust. And probably the desire to party, for by the party one can bring forth the sexy time sure enough.

Mathew Stafford, QB of the NFL sporting concern "Detroit Lions". Good team. Good QB. Megatron rules. But from the looks of it, frat boy jock douche. But such is the way of things, the way of the genes. Proof of fitness is guaranteed to attract the sexy time and the sexy time is all the genes ultimately care about - everything else is a means to this end: To Bed. So enjoy your time in the sun, Mathew Stafford. For time's sandpaper will find you too, as it will find us all, and grind us up into Pink Himalayan Salt. That's Knowshon Moreno above, as well. F'ing Fratboys!

Also too, how about a snake orgy?

That's some hot snake action, amirite?

Lizard Love

Dinner, then some slow dancing in the street....

Then back to the crib for some sweet Saurian love.

Reptiles can seem very foreign to us - cold, emotionless - but it's not true. They just lack a few cues we as a species are keyed on (facial expressions prime among them). But they experience most everything we experience, and have the same goals and desires: Eat, breed, live as long as possible.

All large life on this world is very closely related, and so perhaps you can see the sweeping effect of genes, played out over millions of years via the trial and error process we dub "Evolution".

We're all cousins, and this understanding should inform all your actions concerning Life.

We all Love.

Male Mammals will be Male Mammals

Pick a mammal species and odds are the males are douchebags to some degree, engaging in all sorts of stupid behaviors - seriously, like those stupid rams that just smash each other up. Can't y'all get along?

Above, a male elephant kills a big iguana just for the hell of it - he won't eat it. Dick.

Murder, violence, war, these are the gifts of male mammals upon the world, while, almost uniformly, the females of all mammal species do most of the work, raise the children, feed the males.

This male mammalian douchebaggery is so consistent one must presume it is genetic, traced back to an ancient ancestor. To what end, evolution only knows!

Two Snakes and an Eel

I think - hope - this is a snake shedding its old skin for some new duds. It's pretty gross. But an apt example of the awesomeness of the TV show "Survivor". It's not a reality show, though it does share some techniques. Rather, it's a psychological study played for money on worldwide broadcast. These pressures - money, fame, the emotions of living a primitive lifestyle surrounded by other people waiting to get you eliminated from the game - create a real world the game players live in (see: Stanford Prison Experiment). They must eat from the land and sea, sleep outdoors in the elements, endure torturous physical tasks. The players of the game Survivor suffer. For our entertainment!

Also, they show lots of cool nature shots. Like:

I think - hope - this is a snake digesting a meal. Otherwise, no idea. It's disturbing regardless.

Here's an eel barfing. Enjoy!

Casting Couch Slither (Reptillian Version)

Sexy Lizard 2011, as chosen by Cub Scout troop 125 from Davenport Iowa, thereby earning their "Sexy Lizard" badge.

Van Gorn

Since exoplanets are all the rage these days (more to come), then let's follow what I consider a logical conclusion: That life is fairly common out there, and some small percentage of it is smart. Smart enough for clothes, for art. And given that the same physical laws apply everywhere, then planets of similar size and distance from their star, with similar chemical composition, with water, etc, will likely evolve fairly common lifeforms as here on Earth - they'll eat, reproduce, try and maximize resources, and die. Certain mechanical designs will play out in completely independent environments - how alien would alien ocean life forms look, for example? There's only so many ways to swim, or navigate on land. Maybe they have 4 arms instead of two, or tentacles instead of hands, but I don't think the differences will be that extreme - like, for counter example, a life form made of energy, or gas, or some kind of ooze, etc.


And thus, to conclude: The Gorn. Reptile-like alien lifeforms. And why not? Way back when, a smart alien lizard learns to really exploit a niche, swells in numbers, evolutionary pressures produce ever refined hunting techniques leading to tools, to fire, to technology in all its forms. There's nothing at all which says one life form or another could not become dominant in a given environment. For example, perhaps ocean worlds have super intelligent dolphin like aliens. Who knows!


The sky is literally the limit - and by sky, I mean everything.

Raptor Jesus Buddy Christ Went Extinct For Your Sins

But he's back! So I guess it's all good. Of course, except for you sinful. Damn you!

Snake on a baby

"I want that muthafuckin' snake off that muthafuckin' baby, now!"

Children, future, yadda yadda

Cute, huh? The insanity is spreading, deepening. It occurred to me Obama is going to bring many of these trends to a head, two big ones stand out: 1. The South lost the Civil War, but they re-gained the country via the Reagan Revolution and subsequent neocon movement. Which is now in its death throes, and 2. Racism/Immigration. A black man as President would be enough to drive many of them over the edge, but couple this with the Repug demonization of immigrants AND our increasingly immigrant population, and it's only a matter of time before something explodes.

This is why these same Wingnuts get so red in the face about Darwin in specific, and public education in general: In the back of their reptilian minds, they know they are losing, on all fronts. So they retreat into their safe zones - homeschooling, for example. Church. Fox News. And there they hear, and repeat, the stories they want to hear. Anything to the contrary gets dismissed out of hand.

Unfortunately, there will be collateral damage. This kid, for example - what are the odds he grows up to be a violent wingnut? High.

Lots O' Jaws

I suspect this will be someone's nightmare soon enough. Bon Appetit!

Cold Chillin'

Literally! This lounge lizard is cold blooded. Don't step!