Sins of our Mothers

Fact: Birds raised in cigarette butt nests are 78% more likely to smoke as adult birds.

Home is where you make it

Fun fact to know and share: Birds that build nests using cigarette butts have much healthier chicks. The reason being lack of parasites, as no mite or tick dares cross the chemical monstrosity that is butt nest.

Does it hurt the birds? Studies so far say not at all, but the opposite - cigarettes help birds live healthier lives.

Not logical

As Data's emotion chip continued to degrade, he took up risky behaviors in the desperate search for more intense emotions.

Homer

Lesbian Homer is still 50% better than Heteronormal Homer. Who is a monster.

Heroin Homer, however, is not cool at all. For shame! Don't listen to this cartoon character, drug people!

Send a Dog

Laika, the first Earthling to leave the planet. How greater could be the glory? Laika, SPACEDOG!

Glory enough to make the art for a pack of Soviet smokes. That smooth flavor and gentle smoke reminds one of the heroic sacrifices from our dog friends on our behalf. Thank you, dogs, for all you do for us!

Of course, dogs have been used in war from the day war was invented, I bet. Or thereabouts. Here we have a dog bomb - a little terrier packed with explosives, trained to run under tanks. You wouldn't trust a job like this to a monkey, or a cat. Only dog will deliver, and BOOM.

But a dog can be trained in the hippy as well, out protesting in the street and fightin' The Man! Kanellos has inspired (and probably fathered) the next generation of Anarchy Dogs.

Other Monsters (Retro)

All our monsters and villains are "Others". All our enemies or threats are "Others". All fear of crime comes from fear of the "Others".  In the end we can only trust ourselves, but what if I told you that aye, verily, within your own mind lurk "Others".  What if I also told you that everything looks way cool in retro sci-fi pulp covers?

So yeah, "Others". What perhaps is more interesting is what we define as "Not Other". Who is in our Tribe and thus one of us, not one of them? Who walks in the Light and not in the Dark?

Mexican Wrestling Vader might appear to be a bad guy, but he's just waiting for his reverse heel turn. The Flip-Rudo.

Too Soon

I've been making 9-11 jokes for years, so how can I not drop a Boston terrorist joke? Here you are - it's mild. For it is too soon, but. BUT! Hear me!

While I have a lot of personal association with this event (from afar), and it is tragic for the people directly and a bit less directly affected (unlike you and me far away from this event, watching on TV, or reading on the Net), I refuse to EVER be terrorized. As we all should. And that's what this clearly was - an act of terrorism. As almost all bombings are. Cowardly stabs at the heart of decent society. Which is 97 or so % of us. Here's what I say to terrorism:

Fuck off!

The real power of terrorism, however, is not in the numbers of people killed and maimed in the terrorist attack, but in the reaction. The people who become afraid, distrustful, fearful. The powerful who use these emotions to become more powerful. The innocent caught up in waves of xenophobia. The Patriot Act. The invasion of Iraq. Color coded "TERROR ALERTS". Etc. This is the real damage of terrorism, and we directly control it, in a democracy.

It's psychological. The dramatics of it, the random suddeness of it, the cruelty of it, scars the mind/soul, and it takes far greater significance in people's minds. For example, fear of sharks. Very, very few people are actually killed/hurt by sharks in any given year, but the fear is palpable. And just so - relative to the total population of America, very, very few people are killed or injured in terrorist attacks in any given year. Compared to, oh say just for another example:

Gun deaths, whether by homicide, suicide, or accident. Fun fact! Your odds of dying by gun go up substantially the minute you buy/obtain your first gun. And yet just today in America our Congress voted down any attempt to strengthen the logical background check procedure for gun purchases. Why? Politics and power.


People are making money off gun sales - that's a big portion of the reason for our country's insanity. And it's not really that big money, but they've got a good lobby (NRA) and so, we die every day. Because it's the power behind the topic - the political power of divide and conquer - that ensures that for now, no sanity will be forthcoming. We will keep dying for reasons we could prevent/minimize, but won't. And the Right Wingers among us will in fact enflame.

Thus, here in America, the reaction to this:

The cold blooded murder of Kindergartners, is this:

Wingnut training squads, completely unlicensed and unregistered except of course by their own phony institutions and camps.

Whilst a large percentage of the country goes into a froth over a couple of high end pipe bombs.

I'm sorry if you're offended, but our priorities are fucked up.

You wouldn't like me

There are smart Hulks in the comic lore. And grey Hulks.

And all kinds of other Hulks.

But "The Hulk" - the myth - is rather about a Jekyll/Hyde/Frankenstein story of a man who gets angry and turns into an unstoppable green smashing machine. And it's true - the Hulk cannot be stopped. His power is that his anger/rage/pain/fear makes him stronger, thus, the more powerfully you were to beat on the Hulk, well, he'd only get stronger still. This of course plays to powerful, instinctual emotions in people. The feeling of power/powerlessness. Anger and the wish to smash your enemies, or everything. Freedom from constraints of society and morality. Fear of the monster lurking inside. Fear of power. Etc.

Super heroes from the comics - Superman, Batman, Hulk, etc, are our new myths, and they're all pretty awesome. Let Spidey be your guide, man. Or even Aquaman, if that's your thing. Swamp Thing says Amen!

He Smoked A Lot

For many years, too many years, I used to joke: I should take up a 5 pack a day smoking habit, and then get fired from my job since I was always smoking, then sue my former employer for discrimination because I was forced to smoke away from work, and thus got nothing done. Not my fault! I am a smoker yet you do not allow me to smoke at my desk! And then, when I died of some cancer related illness, rich, my tombstone would read: Here lies Redshirt - He Smoked A Lot.

I no longer make such japes, as smoking is truly not funny. Disgusting, rather. But this bloke clearly has similar ideas to young Redshirt - how much can I smoke? I trust this is for some stupid word record or such. MOST CIGARETTES!

I quit those evil things months ago. Look at me, all high and mighty and no longer chained to a poisonous gas. I realized I'd rather delay my death, and toast the days instead.

Here's to you, skull in the upper corner. I'm sure your life long ago was awesome and so very important.

Add One Monster

How's about some awesome art? This guy buys crappy landscape paintings at yardsales and the likes, and adds a monster. Very realistically, if I say so, which I just did.

Adding monsters to anything usually makes it better. Ironically so or not.

Meanwhile, inside

Who knows what lurks behind the walls of your neighbors? Unless you go inside of course.  They may seem outwardly "normal", but inside, where it counts, they're all kinds of crazy. And sad. This lad here clearly is suffering from several addictions - alcohol, ya think? Nicotine too, and maybe he's doing some other drug I can't see. Also, the internet - it's true, now, I realize: It can be a drug that takes over your life. Your internet reality becomes your true reality, the fleshbag can have the "real". But what is real, Neo?

Also, is that some fancy expensive lamp, that IF I knew what it was I'd be all "OMG! That's a Murcato Ruby from 1924, with the original lacy edges!"? That kind of fancy?

Teach them well

Might as well have a beer too. What's the diff? Little juggalo got to learn how to party early, you know?

Another juggalo Mom. Don't know what a juggalo is? GO NO FURTHER! Ask no more questions! Ignorance is bliss.

Like, better to know this never happened, right? And yet here we are. SPRING BREAK!!!! Not juggalos, as far as I can tell - I'm not an expert though. They have to be Americans, however - who else drinks Bud?

British Pub baby only drinks Bass.

Tips for Good Parenting

I'm surprised any baby survived the 1950's. Advice like "Eat Uranium!" and "Play with Tacks!" seems foolish nowadays. But who would dare question the Soda Pop Board of America back then?

Or the good folks at Marlboro. Surely a non-over-smoked Mom is a more loving Mom, better able to go about her tasks in the kitchen and elsewhere around the ranch house.

Mom of the year!

I learned it from watching you!

There's only one place a kid this age learns to smoke. Mom and Dad. Though I suppose if you don't think smoking is bad, then who cares? But who thinks that? 1/4th of the world?

Raised in war, war is your teacher. Your Father and Uncles fighting, and dying. Blood on the streets. No power, no water, the burning Summer heat. What's a kid to think? That's the way it is, and shall forever be.

Also too, spare some change?

Monsters among us

And yet, at this very moment, millions of Americans are lamenting the oppression of the evil OBAMER administration. Look here, and see their fears turned into horrible art - George Soros, the evil behind all evils, apparently, in the Wingnut fevered brain, feeding his minions, OBAMER! among them.

This is how Wingnuts see the world - as a terrible fantasy where they are forever the victims fighting back against the evil LIBERAL monsters.

IE stupid monsters, capable of anything. Monsters on all sides, nichtwar?

But there is still Truth, or closer approximations of it, and lies and ignorance.

Where do you stand? And if it's for Truth, then it's time you started pushing back against the forces of lies and ignorance.

President Baby

President Baby thinks your work needs improvement. Could you be giving more effort and attention? Also, a diaper change would be grand.

Ditto. Also, pardon me!

Fuck the Ocean (LOL)

Like, right? Why would you be swimming in the ocean or lake anyways? It's your own fault! Do you realize what lies beneath the surface of ALL oceans and lakes?

In the deep dark waters strange monsters lurk.

Ronaldus Magnus

How strange that once upon a time, for a long time, everyone smoked. A multi-generational cancer upon humanity, encouraged by society and industry, and yes, future Presidents.

No joke. "Ronaldus Magnus" is a nickname Rush Slimeball came up with years ago and the dumb ass dittoheads promptly spread it across the rightwing hivemind. The Wingnuts have deified Reagan, creepily enough, and this Latinization of his name as some sobriquet of Empire is a reflection into their warped, fascist minds. They want to be ruled, and they want to crush those deemed inferior by the Talking Heads. Check it out at TPM.

And yes, I'm equating Reagan with a clown. This freak circus we're living in today was brought to life by St. Ronnie. What's mildly amusing is the policies and statements of Reagan back in the day were mild and moderate compared to today's EXTREME Wingnuts. If you put his policies in writing without attribution they'd claim: Liberal trash.

The worshipers have exceeded their God in piety and devotion, to madness. But, it's true: Far less smoking.

Clown Monster

Available for Birthday Parties, Bar Mitzvahs, and Kindergarten Graduation Celebrations!

Thesis: There's "culture" fears, and instinctive, primal fears. Example: Fear of clowns is a culture fear, particular to our time. Before clowns, before jesters, there was no such fear.  Fear of snakes or snake creatures is universal and genetic, species wide, spanning the entirety of humanity. Fear of reptiles is hardwired into all mammals, based on those bad old times some 80 million years ago.

Culture fears bubble up out of the primal realm, assuming different forms based on the time and society, but always connected to a primal fear. Fear of clowns, for example? Fear of the Other/the Absurd (no control). Anyone not in your tribe, and acting all freaky n' shit, is an instant ENEMY. This covers lots of cultural fears, of course.

All that said, damn ain't clowns scary as heck?!

Boil the Bath Water

Aww, poor baby lobster, destined for the bubbles. Just remember, the screams you hear are simply gases escaping from its shells.

For real! I had the cliche childhood "Befriend a lobster only to lose him to the pot" experience, happily playing along only to have my friend ripped from my hands and thrown into the boiling turmoil, to a high pitched shriek. NOOOO! I never forgot you li'l buddy! And despite being from Maine and surrounded by lobster at all times, I never ate your brothers or sisters. Except once, but there was a good reason.

There's no good reason for this. Except the LULZ, of course. And as you know, that's more than enough.