Jabba Venus

An ancient fertility idol found in the sands of Tatooine.

Ah, Memories

Ah, Election 08. What a great time we had. My loyal readers will no doubt recall this fine pic, which was accidentally released before the second debate. Which McCain lost, of course. But this ridiculous impulse to "create your own reality" is very much with us still today, in the form of the ever more absurd Repuglican Party.

Slice o' Jupiter

You're awfully pretty, Jupiter.

Dear Robot Magazine

Long time reader, first time caller. Yeah, I was wondering if you could add more sexy chickbots to the pages of your magazine? Yeah? Thanks in advance,

Rob

More Monkeys

Just in case my previous post was not clear!

Ida

Say hello to Ida, a 47 Million old ancestor of yours. She was very young when she died - tragically, no doubt - and still had a little meal of berries and leaves in her belly when she plunged into an 800 foot lake and sank to the bottom, there to be buried under 47 million years of sediment. Hence the rocky look.

Ida is a big deal, and will no doubt cause many textbooks to be re-written. But here's something that I learned while reading up on Ida, and human evolution in general.

The key point is (JESUS FREAKS! DO NOT READ FURTHER!!!): We not only descended from a common monkey ancestor (and not directly Ida above -- she is way, way up the human evolutionary tree) but, and here's the point, we ARE monkeys. Still. Right now, you and me. Monkeys. Just really really smart monkeys.

And one of our biggest advantages over our monkey brethren, and perhaps the only thing that truly separates us from them, is our collective ability to store information outside of our bodies. Think about it: When born, we are provided (for the most part) the collective wisdom of those that came before us. The internet makes this real easy. But few - no? - other animals can do this. The best they could hope for is a small oral lesson from their parents. Other than that, it's all genetic information, and whatever the creature can learn during it's life.

We, on the other hand, do not have to reinvent the wheel or agriculture or math or anything really - it's all there for us, waiting. We can add to it of course.

To wit: Our true "human" evolution only began with the advent of the earliest writing/painting/art, for that is the medium outside of ourselves in which we can store information for others. Before that, we lived much like other monkeys, save for the awesome luxury of fire and spears. Thus, our true evolution is only 40-70 thousand years old, and really only kick started in the last 8-10 thousand years. A blink of an eye in the scale of it all.

Feel free to disagree!

Let this be a warning

I ain't no Saint, for sure, but I'll give this advice nonetheless: Once you see your first cigarette burn in your keyboard, consider a change in lifestyle.


Your tip o' the day!

"Furious Anger"

H/T to Wonkette for the pic. Is anyone out there surprised by the continuing revelations of how truly f'd up the Bush Administration was? Have you seen the design work on Rummy's Daily War Bible Briefings? For no other reason than better design capabilities, the Repuglicans might want to reconsider their position on homosexuals.

King of his Castle

"Honey....set the coffee pot to..... brew....."

Big Bottom Woman

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
That's what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

I met her on Monday, twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
You know what I mean

My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Fun times. But seriously, this above sculpture is wicked old, and yet shows that we really haven't changed much at all in the 60000 years that followed.

RIP Starling

I certainly did not want to kill you. I tried my best to stop, but you flew in the road directly beneath my truck, and then you froze even though I honked my horn. And now you're dead. Sorry. I hope you find an unending pile of seeds in the great beyond.

VOW! Denied

Like the true nerd I am, I forgot my VOW!, and slinked into the local IMAX (really, the only way to watch movies at the theatre anymore) nice and early, and yes, saw the new Star Trek movie.

Non - Spoiler review: It's good, fun, light, breezy. Nothing really makes you think -- which means, this is new Trek, not old Trek. As a natural born trekkie, this might be a problem for me, but I also realized the franchise was all but dead, thanks to the decade long mismanagment of the franchise by the Killer B's. So, I understand why they would reboot everything. And it might work.

So, go see it, but don't expect anything other than a PEW-PEW-PEW action flick with some good humour, which really is not so bad.

Miles and miles and miles better than Nemesis, Insurrection, or any of the TNG based Trek movies, really.

There, Hollywood - YOU WIN!!!

Fryeburg Fair

Fryeburg, ME September 2007

Mask update

One nice upside to the Pig Flu is the ever growing popularity of wearing masks. Forget for the nonce that these typical masks do little to prevent you from breathing in whatever; the look is what is key.

I'm waiting for these trends to break out into the mainstream soon enough -- I was assuming it would be an Asian based trend, but now it might be Mexican/Flu related.

New Star Trek Movie

As a natural born Trekkie, I'm having something of an existential crisis. One the one hand, I am hard wired, apparently, to get really excited about any new Star Trek. On the other hand, I have the last ten years of history, which I vividly remember, which is nothing but one fantastically crappy Trek product after another. Culminating in the twin atrocities of the tv show Enterprise, and the movie Nemesis, which were both embarrassingly bad - I VOWED never to get sucked into the trap again.

And yet, hear I am, wondering when I will slip into the IMAX theatre so as to best avoid the crowds. But then I remember my vow! But then I look at pictures like the above.... and something... primal, stirs in my soul.

Help!

Tiger Beat Centerfold, May 1983

Hubba Hubba! Keep your Floppy Disks safe kids!

Happy May Day!

Here, we witness some elaborate mating ritual from the Olden Days. No one is quite sure what they are doing, but rest assured, there was some heavy petting shortly after this pagan ceremony.

Show Time

As if Obama does not have enough to deal with, here comes a Supreme Court appointment! Suffice to say, the Repuglicans will freak out over whomever Obama picks, but it doesn't matter, since they are irrelevant.

More importantly, this is what the game is really about. It's highly realistic that Hopey will get 2-3 appointments in his first term. As a Constitutional Scholar, he is better positioned than any President I can think of, in history, to make wise choices here, choices that will live on long past his two terms in office (I'm optimistic no Republican can win in 2012).

Finally, how reassuring, for me, that Obama is in office. Imagine McCain making this pick, and the picks to come? End game.

But instead: Hope.

Republican Jesus

Let me be clear: I am a member of no party, and I cannot imagine I ever will be. With that said, I am thrilled to watch the real-time disintegration of the Repuglican party into a regional, new-Confederate religious party. Could not happen to a better bunch of hypocrites.

I don't know how Specter will play ball, but I think it's in his interest to play with the Dem team. So, for the rest of the year and into the next, the Democrats in both houses don't need to seriously consult the Republicans on legislative matters -- and why should they, when it is abundantly clear the Repuglicans do not act out of sincerity, but rather always in a partisan game of "gotchya".

So, until they get their act together (not happening in the near future), screw 'em.

Cap'n Trips

If it really is Cap'n Trips walking the deserts of the Southwest, might as well stop worrying now, get your affairs in order, and be prepared for some "before the fall bacchanalia". Cuz, if it is the Cap'n, ain't nothing you can do anyhow except go out with some class.

What Obama means to me, in pictures

So, the arbitrary deadline of 100 days is soon to come and go, and I have to say I am 100% satisfied with Obama's performance so far. But in a nutshell, his effect has yet to be fully understood -- we saw this effect in London during the G20, in France and Turkey, and in his recent trip to the Summit in Latin America. To wit: He heals. Most people feel it (some small percentage of people are rabidly against this feeling, but it's fair to say they are either evil and/or stupid).

As a project, pay attention to images of race in our popular culture. I've long since noticed a great increase in the amount of African Americans on news programs, and I would expect this to grow. But that's somewhat superficial. The real change is illustrated in the picture above.

May Peace be upon all of us.

Redshirt before the Storm

Thought for the morning: Expendable has much in common with Inevitable.

The Greatest Moment of All Time?

Any photo of The King is a treasure, of course. But to have him with the President of the US in deferrance? Greatest humblage of all time. All hail The King! All hail Rock n' Roll!

Torture

Remember: When the US of A tortures (only applies under a Republican Administration), it's good, cuz we're the Good Guys, and we're always doing the right thing.

When someone else does the exact same behaviors to Americans, it of course is torture, and must be condemned, stopped, and prosecuted.

Today's Doublethink Moment brought to you by the RNC.


PS: I had chosen many other images, but they were too graphic. But hey, just Fraternity Pranks is all.

Teabaggin'!

Add your own mockery. I would just like to point out the wonderful dissonance of railing against budget cuts for Defense (which isn't happening -- instead a 4% increase from last year) and then claiming to have "forgotten" to pay her (his?) taxes. Also, she (he) most likely just got a tax cut.

Think she (he?) is aware of any of this?


Your Republican Party, America!

Adventures in Marketing

Those of a certain age will remember the introduction of the Star Wars action figure, and what a heady time it was. All was good for awhile, but then, came a second wave of action figures like, fer instance, Luke in his Yellow Victory Jacket. Then a third wave, which I believe featured many lovable characters from the Cantina. Finally, the Fourth Wave.

Mask Watch

Introducing a new recurring feature: Mask Watch.

My theory: With the ever growing preponderance of surveillance technology (cameras, satellites, etc), a natural response will be for people to wear masks.

You can see the beginnings of this trend with the advent and widespread adoption of the "Hoodie"; however, that is a minor development in regards what is to come.

The real shift will be when it becomes socially acceptable to conceal your identity in public. The Authorities will fight this of course, and the resulting conflict will be interesting. I will predict a first version of this look will be surgical masks w/ sunglasses, as it's far easier to justify.

However, there's so much more we can do -- plastic surgery perhaps?

The mask above is worn by a protester in Georgia (Russian, not Redneck).

Behold our future awareness

Not sure why this isn't getting bigger play, or maybe it has and I was out of the country (as I often am).

Regardless, behold, an actual picture of an actual star (not ours) with actual planets in orbit thereabout. 3 of them, see?

Each of these planets is way bigger than Jupiter (fun fact: The size limit of planets is considered to be 13 times the size of Jupiter, for, bigger than that, and our friend Fusion starts up and the planet is then a star), and they orbit 2 times further away than Neptune does our Sun - so they are very far out from their star, yet huge. Odd.

This is just the beginning. Our tech will race ahead and twenty years from now we should be able to read chemical signatures of most planets orbiting most stars in our general vicinity (50 plus light years perhaps). Inevitably, life will be found on one these planets, or, more likely, soon enough on another hunk o rock in our solar system.

The next expansion of human awareness is ready - just a world among an ocean of worlds, islands in a great sea. And with the discovery of life on these other worlds, one would hope our Trekkian future soon awaits.

Also, kinda looks like a cellular photo, no? I mean, yes?

May FSM Bless You

A fun game! Whenever you see or hear a reference to God, Jesus, Allah, Etc, replace the particular deity with the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Everything seems kinda foolish, yes?

Pictures in Perspective

This pretty shot shows the Earth and Moon as seen from the Mars Orbiter on its way to Mars. As always with astronomical pictures, perspective is immediately supplied - we are so very very very small and tiny.


I'll paraphrase a mystic: Our existence will ALWAYS be a mystery. One's goal is simply to align one's self to this fact.

The Truth Shall Set Ye Free

So redo the movie again, George, and get it right this time!

Party Time!

H/T to L>E>ST>E>R;


I quibble with the mushroom cloud here, since my sources tell me it's far more likely to be a super-volcano (Yellowstone), but what's one type of apocalypse versus another? It's all apocalypty.

So, get your bunkers ready, and the home made bread machines spec'd out -- a little bit over 3 years to go (12/21/12)!

It's a G20 Thang

President Barry is rocking the G20 house, y'all! Check out (find your own damn link) the tale of Obama with Sarko and Hu. This is what a real leader can accomplish.

Also, please recall W.'s performance last year at the G20, when the other foreign leaders would not shake his hand.

No Joke - Cold Fusion

First off, nutz to April Fools Day. Terrible idea for a day -- let's Punk everyone! Yeah!

So, no joking here.

Cold Fusion is back on the table. One link here.

To wit, so far after several retests, the possibility of Cold Fusion has not been ruled out. It has not been ruled in yet either, but given that the project is in the middle stages of testing, this is an achievement all by itself. For example, the Cold Fusion news that broke about ten years ago was quickly disproven. So far, not the case with the latest example -- the only question seems to be is there another physical process other than fusion that is producing the neutrinos?

This is a big, big, big deal. If Cold Fusion were possible, and then made commercially viable, our world would change drastically overnight. All the energy needs of everyone on earth, and everyone yet to come, could be met by fusion, easily, with no waste, no depletion of resources, no radioactivity, no problems. A world in which energy is basically free and limitless and clean is a drastically different world than our current one.

This is the biggest news story out there right now, regardless of what you see on CNN or FOX! The true game changer. Stay tuned for further updates.

O Ziggy, will you ever win?

Lawsuits be damned! I love Ziggy!

The Big Picture

This is the Deep Field shot from Hubble. There are a few stars in this picture (they'll have four points), but for the most part, everything you see here is a galaxy, completely separate and far away from our own.

Our own galaxy (medium sized in the galactic scale) has approximately 200 Billion stars; current estimates put the number of observable galaxies over 100 Billion, half of which would have more stars than our own.

Think about this for a moment, the scale of it. And that all of the matter that makes up Earth and everything on it is no different than the matter that makes up all these galaxies.

In relation to this scale, and the homogeneity of everything that exists within this scale, what, precisely, is our role in it? If a role we have at all.

Teleprompters!

If you're one of my many thousands of regular, loyal readers, you're probably don't need any convincing. But if you just happened to stumble upon my place here on the intertubes, let me state this is as clearly as I can:

The Republican Party is insane. They offer nothing but mockery and lies. They are, at the moment, not worthy of being called a minority party or the "loyal" opposition, as they have no sincerity. They've ruined this nation and its place in the world, and yet still, they seek nothing but destruction.

I hope saner minds can prevail, because there are certainly parts of "Conservative" thinking which are valid and need to be articulated. But not by these clowns, minions and disciples of the Atwater/Rove School of Republican Politics, which, in its purest form, is nothing but post-modern bullshit.

Keep fighting in any way you can these truly dangerous fools.

2 Big 2 Fail

See what I did there? Witty, huh?

Undercover Putin

Can you believe known SPY and former COMMUNIST Vladmir Putin was able to get this close to St. Ronnie, without St. Ronnie even knowing who he was?! We better watch these Ruskies - they're sneaky!

Math is Hard!

Sometimes. Other times it's quite tasty!

The Adventures of OctoMom (future) and Dungeon Dad

That's not OctoMom of course. Don't know who that is. That's Dungeon Dad though. What a superhero team they could make....


But seriously, dude is sick. Can you be sick AND Evil?

Spring!

Awww part 2;


Enjoy the equinox everyone!

Awwww.....

Imprinting is an amazing thing - Dogs and Duckies living in happy family harmony? Crazy!

BSG

If you haven't watched Battlestar Galactica by now, it is far too late for you to watch and appreciate the finale, which airs this Friday night. However, there is always DVD, which in many - most - ways is the far superior viewing experience.

But if you have been watching, no doubt you are a'quiver on how this crazy story will end. It seems to me the show has consciously chosen to be depressing whenever able, so I'm betting on a downer of a closer, with of course the seeds of hope - the next circle - planted and taken root.

Great episodic storytelling is something TV can do extremely well, when done right. And BSG has been done it right from the first episode. Does not happen very often in television, to be sure.

Without pause, here's Redshirt's 5 greatest TV series in history (nerd universe):

1. Angel
2. BTVS
3. Lost
4. BSG
5. DS9


Finally, won't you spare a laid off Cylon a dollar?

He's Dead, Jim

Odds are, you're not the Captain or the Doctor.

Inevitablity

There is an approaching crossroads we will face, which briefly is: Our technology grows ever more powerful - exponentially so - yet our minds remain mostly that of tribal creatures, ever on the lookout for "Others". This tribal mindset - which we share in large part with the rest of the animal kingdom - is the major reason for our wars, violence, hate, etc.

But we're so very much better at expressing this hate, this fear. We've been living under this new danger since the invention of the nuclear bomb, but now, with nuclear technology in reach of almost any dedicated people, what's to keep that genie in the bottle for much longer? What's to prevent our technology from killing us?

Not much. A wing and a prayer. We are well underway now into the next paradigm - robotic warfare. Does anyone think this will in anyway improve the human condition?

Or, is it more likely with the horrors of war a step removed, we'll find ever more reasons to fight?

Laugh now....

While you can. Cuz our future robotic overlords won't be so tolerant of your jokes.

I didn't do it!

It was the cat, I swear!

Dem monkeys is smaht

Word from the frontiers of science:

According to a report in the journal Current Biology, the 31-year-old alpha male started building his weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a "hailstorm" of rocks against visitors, the study said.

"These observations convincingly show that our fellow apes do consider the future in a very complex way," said the author of the report, Lund University Ph.D. student Mathias Osvath. "It implies that they have a highly developed consciousness, including lifelike mental simulations of potential events.

This is but the penultimate step before we are forced into full scale war versus the Simians -- hear me now, Apes: We will not let you catch us unawares!

Of course, the last step is fire: If them monkeys ever start making and managing fires,we must engage in a preemptive War of Human Freedom against said monkeys. Don't wait until there is a mushroom cloud over every human city!

Go Johannes!

This is really big news from the Redshirt corner. This here satellite based telescope, named after that swell fella Kepler, is designed to spot exo-planets.

To date, we've found approximately 350 exo-planets, but all were inferred to be present, either through observing a gravitational wobble in the parent star, or in periodic dimming of the star's light as the exo-planet passes in front. Better than nothing, to be sure, but these inferrences are limited, and only would discover rather freakish planets of Jupiter size, yet also close to their sun -- that is, nothing like our Solar System.

I believe this is only due to our lack of tools, not because there are no other solar systems out there like ours. Kepler will add to the ongoing revolution in astronomy since Copernicus, which can be summarized as such: We're not the center of anything.

Each new astronomical discovery makes it ever more clear what our true place in existence is -- a dust mote - and with each discovery, I hope, the God Squad and their myths are knocked ever further back into the ignorant shadows.

Because, when Kepler finds a planet similar to ours, orbiting a sun similar to ours, with similar elements in its atmosphere, it will be another new chapter in this ongoing story of humanity understanding our place in existence. A great new chapter, the first one that has real potential for awesome discoveries (to wit: Life, everywhere).

Stay tuned!