NEEERRRRDDDSSS!!!

And so, lo! As prophesied in the thoughtful teen comedy "Revenge of the Nerds", the nerds have had their revenge.

Money was all it took. A few million and whammo! Even the geekiest nerd is swimming in babes. And as stated many times before, it's always about the babes. Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, has fluctuated from 21.2 BILLION dollars to today's 4.5 BILLION. Tough losses, but still enough money to buy all your bases and then some. Meh on the babe part though - hope he's got a good pre-nup.

Anywho, money. It's the lingua franca of power in today's age of police states (meaning, the police will arrest you if you kill someone - probably!). Many, many years ago, there was no police, and the means of power were physical - kill or be killed. Kill to eat, or die. Fists, rocks, fire hardened wooden spears, the list goes on. But for the majority of our existence, power was a direct, literal thing. You had it, or you didn't, and if you didn't you could die at any time. Now though, we live in far more abstract reality. Sure, war is the expression of physical power, but it's scaled way up, a different beast entirely. Money is by far the more persuasive and omnipresent tool for the expression of power. Keeps your hands soft.

Which leads to, of course, the Rise of the Nerds. Money brings power, power brings the babes, babes lead to success over generations. And so we go from this

Sincere, and probably scorned. To

Ironic, and the toast of the Internet. Get him a million bucks and he'll have a 6 foot Finnish model girlfriend.

You'll note the key here is getting a million or more dollars. Otherwise, nerd, you're on your own, and that rarely works out.

However, if for some strange and weird reason you're NOT in it for the money, then, we could all do worse than follow these wise words

Give not a fuck except for the truth and the well being of not just all humanity, but all life, yay, all of existence. Did ya know Mr. Sagan was a regular user of marijuana? It's true. Also, he commanded the awesome powers of the turtleneck like no other, before or after. Proof in a museum

Kinda looks like Starfleet uniforms circa TNG, yes? Sagan was a visionary.