Technological Terror

Don't forget! Disney bought Star Wars, and thus there is soon to be a new movie. And why not? Star Wars is still hugely popular, and any new film guaranteed to print money. But will it be good?

Being a nerd from the Internet, I don't think it will be. That it can be. Because the first 6 movies are really the story of a Sith Lord named Sidious, or you might know him as The Emperor. While the Skywalker family is the focus of the movies, it is the man also known as Palpatine that is the driving force behind all the movies, and everything happens because of him. Like Sauron, who is "The Lord of The Rings", all action in the story of Star Wars is in response to something Palpatine does, or has caused to happen. But now, technically, he's dead, and the new movie cannot (or should not!) feature him.

And thus, the odds of VII being a good Star Wars movie is small, since the main agent of the movies is gone. Bring back Luke, and Leia, and Han, and it doesn't really matter. There's no villain Disney can come up with better than Darth Sidious.

One of the best villains in fiction. Why? Lots of reasons, but not least of which he does many of his evil deeds posing as a respectable Senator,

 and then later Supreme Chancellor.

He's only mentioned in A New Hope. He appears as a hologram, once, in The Empire Strikes Back. He's a key piece of the conclusion in Return of the Jedi. He's the star of the Prequels. Let's take a moment to appreciate this aspect of the Prequels, even if you don't like them overall. Good villains are a treasure of mythology.

Remember! Vader - the Chosen One - is only a lackey to Darth Sidious. So, three cheers for the true Dark Lord of The Sith! Let us lament his fictional passing.

Vader's Mother

Anakin's mother claimed to be a virgin. We'll never know for sure, just like with Mary, but why not, let's roll with it. Their sons are the Chosen Ones. Born to bring balance to the Force, whatever that means - what would "balance" mean, exactly? The Jedi never seem to ask.

A confession, maybe I've made it before, but who remembers? Not me. Anyways: I like Star Wars way more these days than Star Trek. For me, Trek died back in the 2000-2003 range, with terrible movies and ever worsening TV shows.

Star Wars certainly did not garner critical acclaim with its latest trilogy - the Prequel Trilogy (PT). But I loved it. I really do, so much I just read all the books, and then some other, related books. Reading Star Wars novels - a sure sign of a NERD.

But that's ok. I really enjoyed them, and aren't we here for joy? So to you, Internet, I proclaim loudly: I am a Jedi, unlike my Father before me!

Fun tease: Anakin has no Father, the Clone Troopers, who in the OT become the Storm Troopers, have no Mother. Deep stuff, man.

F the Police

Yeah! Anarchy, man!

The power of hippie chicks is enough to stem the black armor clad stormtrooper tide.

Rebel dogs are necessary for man to defeat The Man. Don't go protest without one.

Riot Cop Beachball

It's officially a party once the beachball gets busted out. Riot cop party!

Wrath of an Angry God

Wicked cool map. I've got a thing for maps. This one shows every tornado in the USA over the past 56 years. Two things I conclude: Mountains create tornadoes, and two, mountains prevent tornadoes. Look at you, Appalachian Range, keeping them evil bastards at bay!

However, ironically, the region known as the Bible Belt is just a jam packed with twisters. Like, where's Oklahoma? Scary, and with Global Warming, far more likely and more powerful (more heat in atmosphere creating more and bigger storms).

But hey, here's what known Super Christian Pat Robertson has to say about tornadoes and storms:

“If enough people were praying He would’ve intervened, you could pray, Jesus stilled the storm, you can still storms.”

So you see, Christians of the Bible Belt, you're not praying hard enough, and thus the giant tornadoes of death and destruction.

Pray harder!

Or! Just an alternative theory, but maybe tornadoes are features of weather in this case created by the Rockies, the Gulf of Mexico, and the relatively flat spaces of central USA.  Given that they are only going to increase in size and frequency, be prepared.

Or move. Check out all those liberal areas, suspiciously free of tornadoes.

In the Shadow of Nam

Vietnam put a real dent in the American War Machine, and this, coupled with Civil Rights, was the crisis of the 60's/70's, which translated into the snap back of the Wingnuts, with St. Ronnie leading the charge.

Starting with the LIBERATION of Grenada, bringing FREEDOM to this important nation. Baby war steps, really. Vietnam took the piss out of US, then throw in the OPEC embargo and the Iranian hostage situation, and America was ready for some Olde Tyme Isolationism. But St. Ronnie made sure that didn't happen with an unprecedented peace time military build up. Leading to

The LIBERATION of Panama, bringing FREEDOM to this important nation. A bigger engagement than Grenada, and a near flawless victory. Big boy steps! So, why the hell not?

The LIBERATION of Kuwait, bringing FREEDOM to this important nation. America got the neighborhood all together and everyone took care of that mean old So Damn Insane (Saddam Hussein). Another near flawless victory, and this one on a yet much bigger scale still. Looks like Vietnam Syndrome is cured! But still, like a teenager, tentative forays into the adult world

Serbia Bosnia Kosovo Yugoslavia and all that - Jeebers! What a confusing assortment of insignificant nations LIBERATED by the USA, as usual. LIBERATOR of the world, don't you know. W will prove it to you, for you see, we're cured of Vietnam Syndrome! War on!

Iraq 2 was not near as fun as Iraq 1, for most. A few had a grand old time, however. The Generals and the Money Men. Here's David Patraeus, stuck in a metaphorical sand trap, in no way signifying W.'s war.

Oh yeah Afghanistan too, I almost forget. Did we all not? I mean, everyone was for this war, but then Iraq happened and everyone was all about that and we all forgot about poor old Afghanistan. And it's true - poor, old, Afghanistan, once an actual nation, now ground to dust. And since Obama, of course, all our soldiers have turned gay

Thanks, Obama. And we're pulling out, again. EGADS! Come end of 2013 America will not be engaged in any wars! What ever shall we do?!

World at War

Think of all the wars in our history - all of them. From the world at war in 1914 to the petty little royal wars of this kingdom or that in 963, this tribe or that in BCE360, this clan or that in BCE26,000. All the wars, all the violence, all the death and destruction - for why? And I ask this from an evolutionary perspective.

Survival of the fittest, I suppose. Via technology - I'd argue technology was created and ever honed because of war and violence, up to and including this day. And what a mighty world we've built with this technology.

With so much loss. Think of all the dead, and not just the troopers, soldiers, warriors, etc, but the women and children, the old folks brutally chopped down. So much death and loss, but so much gained.

We're Gods now, super heroes bestride the World. But terrible, petty, vengeful Gods, prone to violence and random acts of killing.

Is it worth it? Probably yeah, right?

Another day 'troopin'

Some workplaces are better than others - some days, better than others. From certain points of view. For example, you could be 'troopin' on some sweet diplomatic mission to the Beach Planet, or camped out for the night in the charred ruins of some pointless Suburban Mall Planet, toasting a dead comrade. Just a matter of luck, I suppose - gallows luck, in the scheme of things.

Unleashed (Cry Havoc)

Remember those fun days? They're not that long gone, and by gum we're on the verge of bringing the political party responsible for all of it back into power of the US Government, Ruler of the World. You should be terrified, for they are not only Unrepentant, but even more insane, rapacious, bloodthirsty. The Republican Party is an active source of evil in this world, and we all suffer from their predations. And not just us, but our dogs.

Dogs trained to be aggressive, threatening. Wonder how their lives turned out? Wonder how everyone in this picture lives turned out. Badly for all, I hazard. But this is not new, of course. We've been waging war, and torturing, and ruining dog's lives for a long time.

 An Assryian relief, circa 650 BC. This relief was found in Nineveh, Iraq, and now probably lives in the British Museum like most everything else ever found from Assyria. If you ever have the chance to visit this museum, you must. And take more than one day. But anyways, know who else had a dog?

That's right: Hitler Dog. Think the other NAZI dogs had to salute him and give up their bones and such? Probably not: Dogs are naturally socialistic as shit. But I digress.

This is a military medic treating a dog bite on an Iraqi prisoner, naked, as per the torture routine - handed down from on high, probably right from the tippity top - Cheney, Rummy, and the Gang. Everyone else on down to these folks is just following orders, but perhaps taking a bit too much glee in it.

And here is my Redshirt's Lament for today: That these destructive Republicans have released a wicked genie from its bottle for their short term political and financial gains - hate, torture, sadism, fear, distrust, etc, etc. They've unleashed havoc - and here, or rather there, in the early 1990's,  I had such high hopes that America was turning a corner. The PC Movement - arguably one of the most important movements in American history for it's wide ranging impact -  was at it's peak and changing everything, for the better. A New Era of Hippyism was rising - I refer you to The Spin Doctors, for example - and everything in the country and the world seemed to be getting awesome. Europe was free, dictatorships were crumbling across the world, with few bullets fired. Global co-operation was at an all time high, nations mostly working for each other's benefits (mostly)... ah. It was great. But then something horrible happened - an evil seed (Nixon) sprouted and unleashed insanity upon our nation. Newt Gingrich was in the lead and it led to the Impeachment of a popular president, the mass consolodation of corporate power across the board, including the media (Witness the banks merging, the oil companies merging, all the media merging, etc), and a stolen election. About which I still am in dumb shock that it happened, all orchestrated out of Fox HQ and the state government of Florida. And then 9/11 and it was like Manna from the Heavens for these psychos - this, OBL wisely knew, and thus the brilliance of his terrible plot - as they could indulge every one of their long held lusts, for war and death and bombs and torture and a cowering domestic population giving them whatever they want - gladly, with a vicious spite in it. We, as a nation, have been thoroughly poisoned by these people, and this is but one of the results.

Once we go down this road too far, we'll never come back - perhaps it is already too late, but I have hope in Obama, still. So we'll see. If anyone can roll back the tides of hate, repression, bigotry, and sheer evil, it's Barack Hussein Obama.

Anyways, all this was just a setup to post this awesome pic, the artist of which I have sadly forgotten.

Faceless

That's the appeal, right? The anonymity? The faceless soldier in a war far grander than you'll ever gather? The Brotherhood that is losing one's self and taking on the same identity as so many others? Or is it all the chicks Stormtroopers get?

Big in Japan. Oh yeah!

I think the Trooper here is the umpire, which makes no sense. But then, have you ever watched Japanese TV? It's crazy!

Like these dudes. Every bachelor party in Japan has a Stormtrooper.

And every museum has a Stormtrooper exhibit.

I wonder if anyone has written a thesis on the conflation of the Stormtrooper with the Samurai. There's a Grad degree there!

SEX(Working at the Car Wash)ISM!

Believe you me: I spend a lot of time on the intertubes, searching for stupid pictures, especially of Star Trek/Star Wars. So imagine my surprise when I came upon a treasure trove of awesome Star Wars pics. I give you: The "Make-A-Wish" Star Wars Charity Car Wash!

Yeah yeah, I know it's pathetic and sexist and pathetic. But isn't everything, really? Indeed! And after a hard day of charity car washing....

 And speaking of sexism, yes. We're all unique, beautiful people, with richness and wonder filling all of our hearts souls, each of us valued and important and gosh darn it, we're liked and we belong and..... well. All true, but only a select few can pull off the Slave Leia Metal Bikini look.

 Also, have you seen Carrie Fisher lately?

Never Forget (Squirrel War Version)

As I go ever further down the hole of turning this blog into "Stormtrooper's Lament", I feel it important to remind my dear readers - and myself - where the term Stormtrooper first came from. The NAZI's. As with so many evil modern inventions. So, alas, while dressing up as a Star Wars Stormtrooper is mostly for laughs, the foundational undercurrent is disturbing - Lucas did not choose the name or look to be cute, but rather as a very direct reference to the NAZI's. That these same characters are now glorified in pop-culture should tell us that we've been crossing some lines over the past 30 years, and our entire cultural mindset has shifted - towards the Authoritarian, the Imperial, the faceless soldier doing the bidding of Evil. 

Just as, I realized, with what is occurring with the plethora of incredibly realistic war video games on the market - Call of Duty, Counterstrike, etc. While fun and engaging, they are also literally training millions of people in combat tactics and in pure (simulated) violence. There's only so much conditioning required before it becomes the norm. Couple this with the parallel developments in real warfare (robotics), and you see how easy the transition will be from "guy killing fake people on his X-Box" to "same guy, soldier, killing real people via his remotely controlled drone". And maybe he'll get to wear a cool mask while doing so. Black, of course.

The trends are grim.

Why We Fight (Stormtrooper in Heaven)

Having admirably served the Empire and given his Cloned life in a futile attempt to ward off a band of Rebel Scum, this Stormtrooper is at last enjoying his just rewards: VIRGINS IN HEAVEN Y'ALL!


Another neat trick of control: Use basic human instinct to divide and conquer. You'll note that fundamentalists of all stripes seek to control sexuality - whether it be a sweaty fat Snake Handlin' Southern Baptist or a  bearded Imam from the Wahabi School of No Nookie. They both know it's the key to controlling people. It's really well developed in the various schools of Jihad though, to wit: You keep men and women apart; you highly regulate all aspects of their interaction (to no one's happiness); and when the hormones have reached their maximum power (teens/early 20's), you promise them sex IF they do certain things for you. Like wearing a suicide vest. IF you do this for us, you will be granted all the sex you could ever dream of. Really.

It's ludicrous, of course, but so is all religion. But as I've well observed, if you are raised in a stew of insanity, the insane makes sense, and you'll follow it naturally enough as long as there are no external "breaks". Thus, repressed Virgins convinced to kill themselves in order to get laid.

Religion only makes sense as an instrument of Control and Power, and from that perspective, it's fantastically successful.

Note for future Utopians: Align your laws with human nature. It's the only logical and compassionate way to run a civilization.

(art) I know what I like

A well rounded education is key to every Stormtrooper's success.

 An individual teaching session.

The finished product! Not what the teacher had in mind, but the mudflap market is too big to overlook. Form equals Money, after all. If you dig it, check out all the cool Stormtrooper merchandise here: www.RedStarOriginals.com