Nerdology

Our Nerd Lord is a trinity of Nerdly Nerds, though this trinity is of course but One True Nerd.

Accept our offering of cheeseburger and french fry pizza, O Nerd Lord.

Nerd Honor

Besmirch at your own risk, to be honest.

That was easy

Guns fix every problem right up, quick and simple.

Mint Condition

The hound is long past sell date, but some of those Ponies on the top shelf are still in the original packaging and worth a pretty penny, trust me.

Nerd approved! I'll buy everything.


Do you take bitcoin?

He Died as He Lived

Surrounded by My Little Pony merchandise. Egads!

But let us not forget the many other subgenres of nerds. Behold, the Warhammer model nerd:

It's the little joys that make our lives rewarding.

Right?

Mutation IS evolution

Adult MLP fans need to be rounded up and put into brainwashing camps, in order to cure them of this dread contagion. MLP!

What happens to MLP addicts. Don't let this happen to your kids. Stop the MLP.

Implicit Patriot

Can you judge a book by its cover?

Consider in this case the cover is a Waifu pillow surrounded by dozens of high powered guns.

Nothing troubling about this, right?

Just Amendments 1 & 2 brah.

Loose Gang Affiliations

Both the Bloods and the Crips agree: Don't mess with "The Fucking Killas".

Hard core bangers from deep in the 'burb.

Meanwhile, in Eternia

A He-Man of 1983, for real. He lived at Chess King, and wow did he get all the ladies, as you can see in this literal depiction of Prince Chess King.

His power went beyond his muscles and dragons - if you wore his clothing brand, you gained some fraction of his He-Manly aura, which surely would do your sad self wonders at the mall on Saturday night.

You cannot touch this

Don't even try. You'll just hurt yourself.

The Most Dangerous Animal

Super fat gun owning Americans are pretty dangerous - watch out, world!

What is "real"?

Who's to say my love for this RealDoll is not equal to your love for another person? Hmm?

State of the Internet 2014

Merry New Year 2014!

From zero to hero

Charlton Heston. You might remember him as the leader of the NRA as it turned crazy, epitomized by his quote "I'll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands".

A hero to the wingnuts, of course. America, personified. Get your damn hands off me, you dirty ape! But wipe away the fog of Wingnut mythology and remember the "Charlton" of yore.

Charlton marching on DC for Civil Rights.

Charlton protesting in OK for Civil Rights.

Charlton picketing for Worker's Rights.

What happened, Charlton?
What happened, America? Why did you go mad, infecting so many people with madness?

And what kind of name is Charlton? Sounds like prep school. Not rugged American gun owner.

A different sort of nerd

The angry white male political nerd, aka, Wingnuts, Teabaggers, Birchers, Freepers, fascist tools. They don't take as many selfies as the young MLP nerds, but then, give them a break - they're all old.

And angry. And easily parted with their scant dollars - yes, you too can join the "President's Enemy List" with a 25$ gift to Freerepublic.com. Freepathon is happening, folks, and without 100K per quarter, Obama and the Demoncrats win.

And often fat, like most nerds. Here's a "patriot" screaming at traitors during one of Johnny Mac's straight shootin' town halls. Just waking up the sheeple.

A New Kind of Love

These are the men of the future. Consider the men of the past. Think of a boy born in 1900, who grew up into a world of radio then TV. Think of how different he'd be than this young man above, born in the Internet. All the rules are changing.

Without foundation in this new world, we drift, assuming new personas, at least for a while. And some more passionately than others.

The Internet has opened a Pandora's Box, and it won't be easily shut. It could be shut though - a good sized solar flare would fry modern technology, and we'd revert to the year 1900 quickly enough, for a decade or more. But the Internet would return, inevitably.

My advice for this new world? Be flexible of mind and body.

Euphoric

The Internet atheists of Reddit almost make me want to take up religion, they're that smug and sadly, usually terrible. This is Ralph - he's one of the "Fittest" (i.e. you religious sheep are not). Now, mind you, I agree with the gist of Ralph's points here, I just find the presentation ridiculous. But look at me, spreading memes!

Again, I understand the sentiment. I just question the fashion, specifically the hats and in general guys wearing Anime shirts. Also, "Selfie - Culture", which I document with this series of posts. The world where a camera(phone) and an internet connection is enough to spread your stupid teenage brayings across the world. And lo, the Internet is filled with teenage brayings. But also genius and a new world.

You realize there's a whole culture of these mostly guys out there? Internet atheists who wear "Fedoras" as a show of unity with other Internet atheists, and post constantly on the Internet about said subjects. Good for them for discussing, but guys. Guys....

Also, obesity is frequently present, as it is across ever larger percentages of the population. Maybe atheism is fattening?

Brace Yourself

Fair (and legal!) warning: It's gonna get much worse. By reading this, you waive all damage claims against Redshirt LTD.  Esq.

A taste of the terrors to come:

Missin' Mitt

Remember this guy?! Probably not. He was so stereotypically rich and bland and forgettable I can't blame you if he has already exited your memory. Here's some reminders.

It's Mexican Mitt! Fun fact - Mitt really is a bit Mexican, though of course he could not advertise that fact to his fungal based supporters. This pic was one of the glories of the campaign - Mitt on Telemundo, heavy on the tan spray.

Gosh, we never did get to see those taxes, did we?

Another fun fact! Mitt did not write a concession speech - as it was beyond conception that he would lose! Really, he believed that. His whole staff believed that, apparently. For example, Mitt made no travel plans back from his "victory party", assuming the Secret Service would take care of it for him. But the minute he lost, poof! No more Secret Service, and Mitt had to have Tagg or Track or Tacoma (his son) drive him to one of his homes. Oh, sweet schadenfreude - consider it! He sincerely, absolutely believed he was going to win, even though all the polls and all the evidence said otherwise.

Two days after the election, back in Cali (where he really lives), pumping his own gas. Sweet, sweet schadenfreude.

Romney-Ryan 2012 Campaign summary.

Yay! Free shirts!

Florida the horrible

Florida is a monster, in many ways. One of which is: It's only made for a colder world. If the sea rises too high, Florida ceases to be. And so it shall happen, soon enough. Woe approaches, Floridians.

Some scary skinheads from Florida. You get enough scary skinheads together and gosh! You've got a movement!

Check out giraffe man, from Florida! They helpfully put everyone's mug shot on the internet, for the lulz.

It's a cruel, cruel Summer.