Happy Hanukkah (post dated)!

Ben Grimm wishes you Mazel Tov!

For the record The Thing could only hope to slow down or distract The Hulk. The Thing is quite strong, but nowhere near Hulk levels. Maybe if you had all Fantastic Four you could contain the Hulk for a short period of time, but since they don't exist in the MCU, the question is moot.  Hulk smashes.

Behind the mask

Boba Fett was an accountant for ten years before a deal went bad and he was forced to take up the rough and tumble life of bounty hunting.

Through it all, his ledger remained black.

Head Canon

"Head Canon" refers to the creation of an alternate universe of fictional characters that exists only in your head. Sometimes this hews close to the original work of fiction (for example, instead of the Emperor dying at the end of Jedi, in my "head canon", he lives), or sometimes is dramatically different.

Such as the wedding of Mrs. Doubtifre and Boba Fett, officiated by Batman.

Why?

Who knows. Just roll with it - it's the Internet, Danny.

NASA Files

Here's my pitch, Hollywood: A group of smart, sexy young NASA scientists drive around the country in their souped up, high tech yet super hip retro van, solving mysteries. There could be a wise cracking robot involved. Big ratings!

Since this is a fictional NASA, you could bust out all kinds of cool technology for different episodes - like super silver giant balloon.

Or a robotic snow tank for the Christmas episode.

Just for example! Shit writes itself, really.

Contact me via this post to discuss terms.

Snow White Rebootier

Given that everything gets rebooted these days, and then perhaps even rebooted again, and of course with every reboot things get darker, grittier, edgier, cuz, society, man.

So it's high time Snow White gets the modern reboot story - it's been a year or so - as a punk militant vegan eco-terrorist who also just happens to be heir to the throne, only if she can overthrow the ruling junta, led by Glenn Close.

But also too, kids, that's just a movie. In real life, grenades are NOT the answer. Say no if anyone ever offers you one, or suggests you go pick some up at the grenade store. Bad news.

Dang it! My PSA came too late.

Bad Vibrations

Feeling like Turning On? Wondering if this Changing Scene is for you? Maybe you want to Cop Out? Don't. First read "The Jesus Generation" by Billy Graham.

Then Get It All Together.

Where we're going

You're living a dream, Mr. Anderson.

Other Monsters (Retro)

All our monsters and villains are "Others". All our enemies or threats are "Others". All fear of crime comes from fear of the "Others".  In the end we can only trust ourselves, but what if I told you that aye, verily, within your own mind lurk "Others".  What if I also told you that everything looks way cool in retro sci-fi pulp covers?

So yeah, "Others". What perhaps is more interesting is what we define as "Not Other". Who is in our Tribe and thus one of us, not one of them? Who walks in the Light and not in the Dark?

Mexican Wrestling Vader might appear to be a bad guy, but he's just waiting for his reverse heel turn. The Flip-Rudo.

Otherman

Can Superman even get drunk off Earth alcohol? I think not. But maybe some alternate universe Superman could. Like

Nic Cage could drink the actual alcohol clouds that span light years. Seriously, and literally, alcohol clouds in space. Now, if there were obvious punchline clouds, too, all would be complete. But there ain't, ain't there?

The greatest hero of all, but you'll never hear about him, since he's always busy saving Singapore rather than Metropolis or Gotham.

Space Ship Time Schedule

Alas, Jeremy A. Shapiro, I doubt your reservation to any of these destinations will be met within your lifetime. What once seemed an inevitable conquest of the solar system has turned into a silent program of satellite launches. Nixon has a large part to play in this shame, for shame, yet again, Tricky Dick. You ruined so much.

Click for big of course - as with all photos here at Redshirt's Lament. Supposedly these are all the ships of Sci Fi as of 2003, to scale. A nerd's delight.

Sci Fi has kept our dreams alive - I mean this literally, as in our genes want to leave this planet, must leave this planet if they are to live forever. We will be driven to do so if we have the technology to make it possible, eventually. Sci Fi movies and shows keep this reminder in the public mind, regardless of actual progress.

You know nothing

Ya see, Ygritte symbolizes life, and the football represents our goals and desires, and Jon Snow represents you. Ghost symbolizes a Direwolf Snoopy. Deep stuff, amirite?

Fantasy Art

The Imp triumphant. Yet he got no credit - for shame, Westeros!

Arya Stark, as drawn by John Picacio. Wonderful and realistic, with edges of fantasy.

Would look fine on the side of an Ecoline.

Or yeah perhaps this too, also. Any Phoenix fans in the house?

Casterly Rock 'n Bowl

A Lannister always pays his debts... except League dues. Which are beneath them.

Also, fuck the Lannisters, except for The Imp, who's awesome.

Artist unknown - not the best drawing in the world, but hella cool to a nerd like me, deep in the throes of Westeros.

Send an eRaven

Raven, by Ann Smith. Made of gears and sprockets and such. Wonderful.

Speaking of, I just finished "A Dance with Dragons" by George R.R. Martin, and enjoyed it thoroughly, save for the usual frustrations with the books in the series - what's happening with so and so?! You mentioned this off screen?! What's going on with who's and what?! So many characters and settings. Some many pages. Lot's of pages. I saw some blokes reading the first book on the subway way back when after the HBO series premiered, and I was intrigued. So, on vacation in Florida a lifetime ago and with little to do but hang out, I picked up the first book in the "A Song of Ice and Fire" saga, "Game of Thrones". It was awesome in an airport novel kinda way. There's nothing overly serious or poetic or deep in the books, but by gods are they page turning deliciousness, and that's what matters in my opinion about a work of fiction - how much you enjoy it. Does anyone really enjoy "Ulysses" by James Joyce? Anyone eager to get to the next page? Dickens knew this. Martin knows this. I recommend the series highly for anyone with any taste for medieval knights and princesses and kings and some magic and dragons, so on and such, but with an awesomely high level of intrigue, plotting, scheming, and backstabbing. Like a soap opera, I think, if I knew anything about soap operas firsthand. Regardless, big Redshirt thumbs up to the book series and I eagerly await the release of the next.

As an artful segue, here's the little drone the Military has dubbed "Raven":

It's a thrown drone.

And more throwing of drones.

Perhaps the best drone throwing form.

These would be the Army-Maesters, by the way. After launching their Ravens for recon and intel, they retire back to the main hall for trenchers of capons, roasted duck dribbling grease, and tankards of Amber ale.

Corn! Snow!

Number One Day For You

Number One - Commander William T. Riker - gets plenty of love on the Internets,

but he doesn't have his own day, yet. I bet some plucky little Enterprise schoolchild could organize a campaign to make it so. And should it not be so? Riker ruled,

though it became more and more curious why he would not accept his own command. I know - the realities of TV demanded it, as no bridge crew of any Trek show really changes for the length of the show, which should be pretty unrealistic in any true military organization. But serving on the Flagship of the Fleet must have its appeals, especially working with Picard.

Captain Picard Day 2012

Just follow the recipe, really, that's the secret to any trick. Just follow what sticks.

Jean Luc is where it's at. Lost? Discombobulated? Riding tides of rides of goats and camels and what the fucks? Put your faith in Captain Picard, for surely, no saner, more reasonable man has there been in the Federation light years wide. Even if made of cake, ask yourself: What would Jean Luc Picard do? And follow that answer.

Babies are our future, don't ya know? Treat them well and let them lead the way. Also, they are pure awesomeness.

My Daily Bread

Presented for your dining pleasure: Bread, in dead human form:

Tis a real thing, as far as artsy fartsy breads go. Bread made to look like cut up body parts - is not this world wonderful in its endless variety?

 Yum! Facetastic!

Pineapple Girl

A super hero from the Fruit-o'-the-Loomverse - a world of fruit powered heroes, and villains.... (The Green Olive - disgusting). Pineapple Girl has the power of Pineapple - obviously! - but also additional grape based powers, giving her a powerful bouquet. Beware, Olive Gang! Pineapple Girl is on the scene!

Also too: The Avengers movie ruled. Best super hero movie on film to date, and I'm prepared to argue it. The new Batman films would be in the discussion. But nothing else comes close.

Electric Mayhem

The original Electric Mayhem, from left to right: Zoot (sax), Janice (lead guitar), Sgt. Floyd Pepper (bass, natch), and the beloved Animal (drums, natch to the max). Also, "Electric Mayhem" is a spectacular band name. And this was a great band - have you seen the Muppet Show from back in the day? Recall it? Here. Twas awesome and quite sophisticated. With great music. Also too: Fantastic costumes from some Comic Con. Mucho kudos to the dedicated nerds who made and wore them.

With Dr. Teeth, of course, and the late addition of Lips, the trumpet player.

I love - from afar - the makers of costumes and the results of their efforts. It's such a clear of example of noble intention and sincere pursuit. It's done for the love of it, and that makes it pure and worthy of praise. Holla!

Ardaphile

The best map of Arda - Earth - I've ever seen. It's lovely. I've long loved maps of all kinds, fascinated by the perspective - so high up. Of course, as with all things, some are more beautiful than others.

Can you find Gondolin? Morgoth couldn't for the longest time, but then, he's got plenty of it. All it takes is a mistake, a small slip, and evil comes marching in.

Find out more by reading the fantasy bible, The Silmarillion.