Would you like to play a game?

Thrall to a system

This is a terrible joke, and I apologize.

Have you heard about this? Read about this? Wolf Blitzer (what a name!) played Celebrity Jeopardy a few years back and was terrible. He doesn't know anything, apparently. But then, you don't need to know anything to host a long running news program on CNN, the most trusted name in news.

Imagine a world where the most avowed Christians are also the most hateful people possible. What if - just asking questions here - what if Satan had actually taken over Christianity, and all Christians are really working on behalf of The Dark Lord?

Ironic!

Prosperity Gospel!

Let's Play FIRING SQUAD!

Playing "Firing Squad!" used to be all the rage with the kids, until the PC police got involved and made everyone feel bad and stop and play with dolls and "learn" instead.

Thanks, Libtards.

Fun for the whole family

Relive the excitement of the Spanish American War with this classic board game, guaranteed to entertain Mom and Dad and the kids! Like "Chutes and Ladders", but with more pork wrapped corpses. Buy now!

Cost of War

Thousand yard stare right there. Over cupcakes! But who knows what will trigger flashbacks to times where you lived in Hell. And war is hell, of course. One we made for ourselves, and continue to perfect.

Win all the battles you want, you'll still lose the war. The only way to win is not to play.

Our only hope

As I've said many times right here on this here blog, a large asteroid strike on Earth is inevitable, and when/if it hits, most life on Earth, including all human life, is done. It will be something like a 90-96% extinction rate of ALL life on the planet, including bugs and bacteria and slimy stuff swimming in the seas. Consider this danger deeply, for it's very real. Here's but a taste:

And these are just the ones very close, and none of them are very big, and we're missing many, many smaller ones - the 150 meter ones mentioned below, for example. Large enough to cause widespread chaos and death on Earth (though not an extinction event). Asteroids vary greatly in size:

Vesta is bigger than many moons of Jupiter and Saturn, but not the biggest asteroid (that's Ceres, where the Dawn spacecraft is heading as I type). However, asteroids the size of Steins and even smaller are our real threat. Look how tiny! But big enough to kill us all. All it would take is 5-10 mile wide asteroid to do us all in.

And what could we do about it today? Very little if on short notice. If with 20-30 years to prepare, we could probably save ourselves, starting from scratch. But why start from scratch THEN, when we all know the answer TODAY?!

Figuratively, of course. An armada of Asteroids fighters flying around space blasting rock is not very likely.

Sad, I know. Believe me! I'm the best Asteroids Ace you've ever seen. Go ahead and try your skills here.

But no, it won't be people in triangular spaceships that save us from the asteroids, but rather small robotic spacecraft that can attach to and then redirect these Earth impacting asteroids. Imagine 50 small bots flying to then landing on an asteroid on a direct impact course, each using its rocket to steer the asteroid in a different direction. It don't take much in space.

For your regular asteroids. If a Vesta like object were coming at us, better to move off planet. Here's a closeup from Dawn:

"The Snowman".

Once again, people of Earth! Rather than a'fuedin' and a'fightin' with each other, we should instead be building a space infrastructure that 1. Enriches all life on Earth, 2. Protects all life on Earth, and 3. Spreads life from Earth.

We're all Pro-Life, right? Let's get it together, humanity! As we're the only ones here who know better. We cannot count on the other monkeys.

Casterly Rock 'n Bowl

A Lannister always pays his debts... except League dues. Which are beneath them.

Also, fuck the Lannisters, except for The Imp, who's awesome.

Artist unknown - not the best drawing in the world, but hella cool to a nerd like me, deep in the throes of Westeros.

The Cuteness and The Horror

Puppies gotta eat. Indeed, everything living has to eat, one way or another. It's one of the cruel truths of our reality: For all animals, to survive, to live, you must kill. Plants are much more hippy about it, living off the sun, water, and dirt.

And it is this reality - kill or die - which is the main agent of evolution. For, quite simply, those traits that add either to your success in killing or in processing the carcass increase your chances of living. And to live is to have the chance to reproduce, and reproduction IS the meaning of life. One way or another. That's the answer to the fabled question, by the way, and I answer it oh-so-offhandedly because it's rather obvious: The meaning of Life is to reproduce. And that's the subject of an infinite amount of stories.

So, in my roundabout way, I come to the subject of obesity. It does not exist in the wild, for no creature, except one, is successful enough to ward off the seasonal ebbs and flow of the food chain. Every animal out there, save one (and the ones he/she chooses to favor), is in a brutal competition for scarce resources and there simply is no means to get fat.

But then there's humans!

She's cute, if she lost like 200 or so pounds. Only human society of the modern era could create such a woman. Even 60-70 years ago, it would have been unheard of (or the result of an actual genetic condition) for someone to be this obese, except possibly for the very rich. But now it's almost commonplace. Even the animals we have domesticated can suffer from this miracle (in that it never occurs in nature) of obesity:

All due to our technology, which in that span of 60-70 years has become magical, and will only become more so. The wonders/horrors that await us are mindboggling. Prepare yourself for ever more extremes, for it is the inevitable result of overcoming nature's "kill or die" decree.

I'm a Survivor

Herewith, I give you the remainder of my Survivor .gif cache:

A clotheslining, by an actual clothesline. Isn't it ironic?

Crystal was a gold medal Olympic winner (some kind of relay race), and yet, was a terrible athlete. It was rather surreal.

Dan was a small man in a very big chair. It was part of an in-show advertisement for Jack Black's "Gulliver's Travels". Which was an instant classic, I hear. I - for truth - enjoy the advertisements in the show, since it's a connection to most other TV game shows. And it's cheezy, and these poor suffering players are amazed by these strange items from a foreign land. Also, there's usually some kind of strategic element to these advertisement segments - winning an expensive car, for example, often would bias the jury against the winner.

Oh yeah. T&A. It's another big factor in the show - for all genders and sexual persuasion. A well proven Survivor maxim: Everyone looks better starving and dirty than fat and covered in makeup and questionable clothes.

Spider dance. Speaking of:

An exploding ball of spiders. Hello!

Two Snakes and an Eel

I think - hope - this is a snake shedding its old skin for some new duds. It's pretty gross. But an apt example of the awesomeness of the TV show "Survivor". It's not a reality show, though it does share some techniques. Rather, it's a psychological study played for money on worldwide broadcast. These pressures - money, fame, the emotions of living a primitive lifestyle surrounded by other people waiting to get you eliminated from the game - create a real world the game players live in (see: Stanford Prison Experiment). They must eat from the land and sea, sleep outdoors in the elements, endure torturous physical tasks. The players of the game Survivor suffer. For our entertainment!

Also, they show lots of cool nature shots. Like:

I think - hope - this is a snake digesting a meal. Otherwise, no idea. It's disturbing regardless.

Here's an eel barfing. Enjoy!

We all play our part

Life is much like the WWF toy hockey game - you're controlled by forces far beyond your influence, assigned your set role and unable to move out of it, save the little wiggles in the tiny rut you call "your life". Mine too! In this parable you are the Hacksaw Jim Dugan character, and not the Hulk. Ain't that always the case?

But seriously, this artwork is magnificent. Note the detail in the customized hockey sticks, each suited to its owner. So you know, Hacksaw is the creepy looking guy in the top left of the ring, eating his 4x4 hockey stick. You ever feel like doing that? Me too!

Only as Strong as (Oopsacalypse Revisited)

Fun fact - once you become familiar with anything, you can make a bingo game of it, simply by marking outcomes/events/words in squares on a gamecard, than at an agreed upon time with agreed upon rules, bingo is on.

It's easy to laugh at these fools - or, more specifically, no doubt, The Father. I sense an overbearing jerk who dominates everyone else in the genetic clan. Look at the son for proof. And the wife. And the daughter.

But what does our laughter gain, except our own LuLz? It serves only to drive folks like this even further into madcap apocalyptic fantasies. Folks are creating alternate realities and living them, and they walk amongst us! Seriously, we are only as strong as our weakest link, and to have some among us brainwashed and in service to death cults that would end the world if they could make it happen is a threat to us all. Death worshipping is never good for life, don't you think?

So this supposed apocalypse came and went, but there's 2012 up ahead and hoo boy, just wait for the breathless Fox pieces about astronomical alignments and galactic centers and earth's wobble, resulting in a shift in the planet's magnetic fields with North and South switching locations, with incidental destruction of humanity's modern society, tonight at Ten! Also, something about a celebrity in rehab.

Just a Game

Technology, that is. Those that can create it - which is almost always modifying some previous technology - are always playing a game, called "Challenge". The game consists of a puzzle that enters the person's mind, and is solved, eventually. The nature of this puzzle varies per individual. We're all playing, just some make big things of it - inventions! Stuff that changes the world. Not the Seiko Wrist Computer, though, sadly. An idea ahead of its time. But bravo to the Seiko team for dreaming. Speaking of, imagine how much you could get for this at eSotheby's:

One of the first, if not the first, computers created by Wozniak and Jobs, and this poor sap named Ronald Wayne - look him up, and shed a tear on his behalf. Wozniak did all the work, by the by. But not this:

iPad esque, in retrospect. This is another of my favorite genres - the future, from the past. Like 60's sci-fi movies. Or trippy French paintings from the year 1899:

Not a bad way to read a book: Just grind it up and transmit it over the neuralgram. Also:

Bonjour, baby! But seriously, good idea in principle. And it is the fruit of these games we all play, but some play very well, that leads us on as species, since it is our Technology which separates us from the other animals. Many though - right now! - are working on AI, as a game, of course (or a degree, or money, or what have you), and they're getting better and better by the year. I PREDICT: True AI will be a reality within 20 years, and then we will have some real questions/problems on our hands.

It's iconic by now, which is cool. And inevitable - the only question is: How will you respond? That's always the question, by the way. How you answer is your life: Our game.

Game Over Man (Ugly Kids)

The Flatface kids lose again at imitation brand Missile Command. I always found the game deeply disturbing, for, no matter how hard you tried, you inevitably lost, and your city was destroyed. Your pixelated families, dead. Your digital dog, vaporized. Everything, over. Game over, man. But in real life, you don't get to play another quarter. Man.

Hudson: That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
Burke: Maybe we could build a fire, sing a couple of songs, huh? Why don't we try that? 

An apt summary of current events.

Boys and Girls

Fact: Boys get better toys. What 50's Lad wouldn't want to play with an atomic energy lab?

See if you can spot the subtle sexism in this toy. I mean, "technician"? Compared to:

Excelsior, America! Or, rather, the America back then. Nowadays, fancy science learnin' ain't welcome.

What it's good for

Fun! And who doesn't like fun? Hitler here was just trying to get and hold Kamchatka, and can you blame him? It's the Express to N. and S. America and all those sweet, sweet bonus armies.

Sometimes - many times? - blind luck can trump strategic brilliance. Like, this was the 5th turn in the game!

There was a Star Trek episode based on this true historical event - remember the one where the two planets would simulate war deaths on a space super computer, than each would exterminate the agreed upon number of their own people? Yeah, like that.

You Blink, You Lose

FSM bless whomever had the pluck to get this tire cover for their jeep. Wonderful! Or, perhaps Mrs. Chiggers demanded it - she looks rather demanding. Don't look to long!

We need more absurd humor in this world. Once you "get" absurdity, you can apply that lesson to everything, and thus, lighten the load a bit.

But then, there's good absurd and bad absurd. Boston traffic jams? Bad absurd. Perhaps my least favorite thing, like, in life. Top 5 at least. Who likes traffic jams? I'd like to meet that person(s), since they must be insane, and should be studied for science.

But maybe this traffic jam would have been a little better with Mrs. Chiggers staring you on. Or, maybe eventually, worse?

Also too, The Staring Game is awesome. Next time you play it, imagine you're looking into the other person's brain. It will freak them out, and you'll win. Also, moisten your eyes surreptitiously before beginning.

Stained Glass Houses of the Holy

Why did thoust forsake thy flock, oh Gunslinger? Surely, a lifetime of car dealership commercials and mall appearances would have given you the glory you require - but now? Now, who will want you hawking their cheap wares, oh foul Betrayer? Thou turnover machine, lo! Cursed be thy name, wicked Favrererererer....

J/K Brett! Sure, you sold out, but it's a game, right? Just a game....

Verily, life is but a game.

Mr. Sikh 2008

Here he is, ladies. Beware, though, he's got a dagger on him, somewhere...

Also, too, remember this lady?

Beauty pageants, aka "life".