Already Assimilated

A map showing McDonald's locations across the Contiguous 48. As you can see, they're everywhere, so much so that the small gaps jump out in contrast. National Parks, barren wastelands, roadless stretches of nature. For now - just you wait, Adirondack Park! Mickey D's will find you, eventually.

Now, like most everyone, I used to go to McDonald's all the time. As a kid it was a huuuuge treat. Not only for the burgers, fries and shakes, but oh yes, the once awesome Happy Meals:

Mint condition - part of some huge Trek nerd's collectible hoard. Marvel at the detail, the quality craftsmanship. I've seen today's Happy Meals, and like most everything else in our society, they've been cheapened and dumbed down. Profit margins, dawg.