Redshirt's Lament

Killer Pooh

2012-02-02T23:03:00.001-05:00

Its like a jungle out there sometimes I wonder how I keep from going under. Hahahahaha?

But really: It's extremely unlikely different animals in the wild would ever become "friends". They may tolerate each other's presence, but BFF's? Doubt it. Evolution prohibits it! That is, the expression of genetic replication, and different species have no genetic benefit, and in fact are most often competition, and thus the notion of tigers and bears hanging out is just ludicrous. Preposterous!

Red Baron

2012-02-01T22:52:00.000-05:00

While I took in my fair share of Snoopy and the Gang as a child, I must admit I never really dug it. The laughs were few and repetitive, and the lessons were milk toast and white bread. Boring. I did dig the Adult World with their garbled voices: What's going on up there?!

The Red Baron/Flying Ace was fun though - finally, some action! Also, Woodstock was the real brains behind the whole operation.

Deal with it

2012-01-31T21:46:00.000-05:00

Frog stack baby!

That's where it's at in terms of hauling babies - just keep stackin' 'em. You know you get money from the frog government for every frog baby you can stack on your head? You go girl!

Also too for extra bonus coda:

Imagine a turtle at every point in space time - at the Planck Scale. Then perhaps you can see how it's turtles all the way down.

Model of the Universe

2012-01-30T21:55:00.000-05:00

So, this here is a LITERAL model of the Universe. First, there's God - that's the hand, as in He has us all in His hands. Next, of course, is a turtle, as everything rests on a turtle, not only all the way down, but get this, all the way up too. And also, God loves turtles. Next is the Earth, here represented by a frog since Earth is made up of both land and water, and only frogs can live in both. Finally, there's an evil spider, representing wicked mankind. God hates spiders, as every child knows, and He hates Sin, and so since mankind was born into Sin because of that terrible Eve, we are unto spiders, hideous creatures scuttling about hiding from the light of Truth.

My goto guy Jonathan Edwards said it best:

The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his eyes, than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours.

So wise up, wicked Sinners: We are but Spiders sitting on Frogs riding on Turtles, all held in the shaking hand of a terribly Angry God. Repent now!

Or soon. Whatevs. It doesn't matter, since the shit's all Predestined anyways. Am I right Calvin?

Up Here (look into my eyes)

2012-01-28T23:02:00.000-05:00

Of course there is a Spider Woman, though this is not her costume. Just as there is a Bat Girl, Super Boy, and She-Hulk. The comics are free to create untold versions of the same characters, repeatedly. Clones? Long lost twins? Doppelgangers from a different dimension? Robots? Long lost child? Time traveling version of you? If you can think it, you can write it in a comic. Name me another medium with such freedom!

With great power comes great responsibility.

9 2 5

2012-01-28T19:56:00.000-05:00

Actually, more like 8 to 11 these days. Seriously - for months now, I've been working like a dog. And it's all the more difficult due to the thought of what could have been - I could be kickin' it at New Gondolin, permanently. Instead, I toil. But. BUT! It's all for a bigger goal.

Also seriously, office work sucks. I'd rather landscape, or farm, or work on construction (note! If I had any of these jobs, no doubt I'd long for the easy comforts of the office job). Cool construction, that is.

It's the forced hierarchies that really drive me nuts. Like High School, except the cliques are real and the jocks can "terminate" you. I used to be a jock, but now I'm in the AV Club, and at any and all's beck and call. It's karma, I suspect, punishment for my past Jockish deeds. Sorry, Jack!

It's like Spiderman working in an office, really. What a waste! This is more like it:

What I Like

2012-01-27T23:31:00.000-05:00

So, apparently there's this thing on the internet where people who like the remake of "My Pretty Pony" gather and do their internet thing. Known as "Bronies". Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Dick Butt

There's a whole lot of scribblings out there. Cartoon is my favorite medium, by the way.

Happy Tree

2012-01-27T18:27:00.000-05:00

Have you ever seen Bob Ross paint? If not, here. I unironically enjoyed the show immensely, first because I found the process of painting a landscape fascinating. Second, because Bob Ross spoke so serenely, calmly, it was hypnotic. I gave up on TV though for a long while, then Ross died, like we all will one day, and alas, this simple pleasure has been taken from us all.

But there's still photoshop.

There are a collection of starting images that are iconic in the Halls of Photoshop. The Kent State shooting, the head shot execution in Vietnam and the pic of the naked kids running terrified down a road, a segregated water fountain, and so on. This pic above shows a starving child being stalked by a vulture and is a fine example of a moral dilemma - when to document, when to intervene? The photographer, Kevin Carter, did not intervene, and won the Pulitzer for this photo. But it did not end well for him.

It sure seems like it will end well for Harrison Ford, though. Big star forever. Though I do question the Calista Flockhart decision.

'Shop

2012-01-27T00:40:00.000-05:00

The power of Photoshop (and any similar program) should be well recognized by now - no image can truly be trusted, since digital manipulation is so easy these days, and only getting easier by the day. A good 'shop and you don't even know it's been shopped.

Or sometimes you do, but there's art in it, is there not? Good for a lulz in the least, and isn't that enough? In this life of hardship and apparent lack of binaries, is not the LOL worth it? Even if it's cheap.

Also too.

Signals

2012-01-26T23:59:00.001-05:00

Never forget we are animals and despite our pretty minds we are still ruled, in large part, by our animal instincts. Hormones. Visual cues. Touch. Inputs into our brain no different than for any other mammal. And what are mammals but another form of gene carrier - life, by definition, is the transport vehicle of the Genes.

As such, boobies. Bat boobies, I suppose.

Also, the Griffith Observatory in LA. Science!

Fired up

2012-01-24T23:02:00.000-05:00

Dated, but still appropriate. The Obama signal is lit, get off your ass and out into the streets. If you're not fired up about this upcoming election in November, you're not paying attention. You should be if not - there's some serious shit at stake. There are some straight up villains vying for Power over the World. And your life. They must be stopped, and Barack Obama (and whatever Democrat is running for your local seats) is our only hope. Here's a rogues gallery:

Man behind the curtain. There's lots of them - the billionaires, the corporations, the political operators, the agents in the field. This is "The Turd", face of the so called "brains" of the evil Republican Party. He's not really that smart.

The Voice. "Rusty Sharpe". Agitator and disseminator of the Brain's talking points of the day. Everything about media control is part of Operation FUDD - Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt, and Disinformation. It's Republican 101. It works.

Generic Southern Cracker. Usually used as henchmen, of varying degrees. Can be counted on to stir things up on command, or unleash righteous whines when things don't go their way.

The Destroyer. The face of power, wreaking a mighty path of destruction wherever they lay their gaze. Sometimes presented in a pleasing package, sometimes not, but underneath is always the same - tear down any social program or anything else not directly benefiting the men behind the curtain.

The Grifters. Come in many flavors, usually from Southern cracker stock, but also occasionally a plutocrat steps into the race to assuage their sociopathic egos. Remember Steve Forbes?

The Moralizers. Monsters of a different stripe. Almost always wimpy and weak, yet physical strength is not required in this War. If they gain power over you, everything in your life will become theirs.

Criminals. The lot of them. I bet there's very few Republicans who have not broken some serious law. And I'm serious here - we're dealing with a group of psychopaths, bent on destroying this country and the World. Sound dramatic? It should - these are the stakes! Do you want the World to slide further down into poisoinous hate? Or rather rise up in friendship and peace? Choose!

I choose Barack Obama. Our only hope.

And realistically, barring some external catastrophe, I give President Obama a 90% chance of re-election. I'm that confident. While Evil, the Republicans have seemingly, laughingly, started to believe their own FUDD, and have devolved to a pack of Morans and clowns. All these guys are toast against Big O.

And for that, I am thankful. Yet not resting - it's time to get to work.

Tagged

2012-01-22T21:52:00.000-05:00

This is some Conservative humor. It's not without a chuckle, I suppose, but of course it's damn racist. That's not surprising.

Although, perhaps, it's a celebration of the art of Spraypaint. Here:

Artist unknown. But wicked awesome, whomever they are.

Opinions Like Assholes

2012-01-20T22:16:00.001-05:00

Everyone's got an opinion - either their own, or imported from someone else, or some mixture of the two. And in America! We've got this here "Freedom of Speech", which is supposed justification for messages like the above - an actual billboard put up somewhere in Colorado. Here's a close up:

As racist, repulsive, repugnant, and really just nuts a message as could be, paid for no doubt by some folks who HATE Barack Obama. Why would that be, I wonder? Hmmm.

Republicans, a truly depraved, deplorable lot. I say a lot of mean stuff about them, and they'd use that as justification for their horrible behaviors, no doubt. But that's bullshit. These assholes have gone insane since Tricky Dick riled them all up and they've been getting crazier, more dangerous ever since. I'm gonna call it, but believe me when I say, I wish it were not so. I could dig voting for a fiscally conservative, socially liberal moderate Republican - that's what they should be, for crying out loud, if you actually followed their so called tenents. But no, they come nowhere near acting what they espouse. "Small Government", for example? An utter joke - every Republican Admin has swelled the size of government over the last 40 years, debt included. They want to regulate every aspect of your personal life and yet loudly bray "FREEDOM" any chance they can. They call themselves "Conservative" and yet are really bomb throwing, blow it all up Radicals. The Republican Party is a collection of deluded hypocrites, greedy scoundrels, cowards and racists - it's literally a party of the most despicable elements of not only our society, but mankind.

And yet, here we are, pretending Newt is not an utter joke, and for sooth! If he wins the nomination, vile creature that he is, he's guaranteed 35-40% of the vote right out the box. And the idea of President Gingrich is no laughing matter.

But this too, of course, is an opinion. But I'm also right - I mean, Jeepers! Check out this racist tripe above in detail - it's loaded with Wingnut symbology. There's a "SOROS" vulture! Truly insane.

From a certain point of view

2012-01-19T21:41:00.000-05:00

Quite often, but not always, your national heroes are someone else's villains. Doesn't mean there ain't wrong or right, sometimes, but rather you should be wary of accepting any story at face value. Questioning the perspective of the tale is useful in coming closer to the truth.

21st Century Pirates

2012-01-18T22:11:00.000-05:00

I find this hilarious and sad. But then, I feel that way about most things.

Unleashed (Cry Havoc)

2012-01-17T22:00:00.000-05:00

Remember those fun days? They're not that long gone, and by gum we're on the verge of bringing the political party responsible for all of it back into power of the US Government, Ruler of the World. You should be terrified, for they are not only Unrepentant, but even more insane, rapacious, bloodthirsty. The Republican Party is an active source of evil in this world, and we all suffer from their predations. And not just us, but our dogs.

Dogs trained to be aggressive, threatening. Wonder how their lives turned out? Wonder how everyone in this picture lives turned out. Badly for all, I hazard. But this is not new, of course. We've been waging war, and torturing, and ruining dog's lives for a long time.

An Assryian relief, circa 650 BC. This relief was found in Nineveh, Iraq, and now probably lives in the British Museum like most everything else ever found from Assyria. If you ever have the chance to visit this museum, you must. And take more than one day. But anyways, know who else had a dog?

That's right: Hitler Dog. Think the other NAZI dogs had to salute him and give up their bones and such? Probably not: Dogs are naturally socialistic as shit. But I digress.

This is a military medic treating a dog bite on an Iraqi prisoner, naked, as per the torture routine - handed down from on high, probably right from the tippity top - Cheney, Rummy, and the Gang. Everyone else on down to these folks is just following orders, but perhaps taking a bit too much glee in it.

And here is my Redshirt's Lament for today: That these destructive Republicans have released a wicked genie from its bottle for their short term political and financial gains - hate, torture, sadism, fear, distrust, etc, etc. They've unleashed havoc - and here, or rather there, in the early 1990's, I had such high hopes that America was turning a corner. The PC Movement - arguably one of the most important movements in American history for it's wide ranging impact - was at it's peak and changing everything, for the better. A New Era of Hippyism was rising - I refer you to The Spin Doctors, for example - and everything in the country and the world seemed to be getting awesome. Europe was free, dictatorships were crumbling across the world, with few bullets fired. Global co-operation was at an all time high, nations mostly working for each other's benefits (mostly)... ah. It was great. But then something horrible happened - an evil seed (Nixon) sprouted and unleashed insanity upon our nation. Newt Gingrich was in the lead and it led to the Impeachment of a popular president, the mass consolodation of corporate power across the board, including the media (Witness the banks merging, the oil companies merging, all the media merging, etc), and a stolen election. About which I still am in dumb shock that it happened, all orchestrated out of Fox HQ and the state government of Florida. And then 9/11 and it was like Manna from the Heavens for these psychos - this, OBL wisely knew, and thus the brilliance of his terrible plot - as they could indulge every one of their long held lusts, for war and death and bombs and torture and a cowering domestic population giving them whatever they want - gladly, with a vicious spite in it. We, as a nation, have been thoroughly poisoned by these people, and this is but one of the results.

Once we go down this road too far, we'll never come back - perhaps it is already too late, but I have hope in Obama, still. So we'll see. If anyone can roll back the tides of hate, repression, bigotry, and sheer evil, it's Barack Hussein Obama.

Anyways, all this was just a setup to post this awesome pic, the artist of which I have sadly forgotten.

Guns for Peace (Occupation), Freedom (Terror)

2012-01-12T21:40:00.000-05:00

Wry global political humor, don't you know? I root for the UN, and especially armed UN missions into troubled areas of the world. Why? Because I want to see a One World Government and a planet mostly united in peace and harmony. Instead of spending trillions on war and death, we could colonize the solar system and expand beyond our wildest dreams, Lords of the Seas, Lands, Air and Space. We would be unto Gods.

So I kinda get why the wingnuts are always all "hurf durf black helicopters", because the UN is our best shot for now at a World government that can function. And they don't want that for their small, frightened ways. And that's their right, and so we struggle on, tribal factions all across Earth spilling blood and causing so much strife and carnage, holding us back and keeping us scared and angry. Alas!

Guns have become the tool of choice for when these conflicts turn violent. Has there ever been a more destructive tool in terms of lives taken? The sword, maybe? Sharpened stone? Guns are so slick and sophisticated at what they do, why they exist: Deal Death.

Can violence ever be good? Are there valid reasons to kill another? An age old question, I suppose. The Super Hippy in me wants to say no, never. Violence can never be good, by definition. But the realist in me scoffs: What if someone(s) has come to burn down your house, steal anything of worth, kill or enslave your family, and then ride off to do the same to some other poor, innocent souls? Wouldn't it be "good" to stop them and aid the greater weal?

Each person has to decide for themselves.

Above is Subcomandante Marcos, former College Professor, Poet, and Revolutionary Spokesman for the Zapistas in Mexico. I don't know if he's ever used any of those bullets. But I doubt the Mexican Government thinks he's cool. Does that make Marcos good or bad?

Just words, just as guns are just tools, and what matters is how you use them and your true intent. Everything's just itself and it is only we humans that give anything meaning. And we all should remind ourselves of, frequently, we're all subjective creatures, influenced by myriad factors, and prone to illogical, emotional acts. And so meaning is a point of view. Right? Like good or evil.

So the wingnuts say: Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

Terminator Dreaming

2012-01-10T23:39:00.000-05:00

I had a fevered dream as a 10 year old in which the cities of the world burned and giant mechanical ants crawled up and down the smouldering husks. I was really sick, and there were giant ants all around the New Mexican campground (we were "camping"). That explains the mechanical ants, I reckon. But dreams - nightmares - can linger, leaving a lasting impression.

A day later we were driving through the burning hell of West Texas in August, and still sick and dangerously fevered I had the realization of Death - that my Mother and Father and Sister and baby Brother would die, my Grandparents would die, I would die one day, everyone will die one day. As a 10 year old, it was a damn powerful revelation, for I had no real concept of death hitherto.

So I darkened, and shit got weird all around. And then I developed some serious migraines that would incapacitate me for a day, occurring at times of high stress, ruining so many events. Lasting for years, this shit was intense and there were lots of hospital visits and I came to recall more and more that second fever dream: Death.

And then I saw The Terminator and I was all like: Yep. Killer Robots are gonna get us (Remember the Mechanical Ants?). I was quite a nerd of course, reading anything and everything and lots and lots of comic books were part of that so killer robots were right up my alley. And thus, the source of my robot distrust.

For real! I've been following the topic seriously for years. Running with smart folks, I've talked with robotic experts, read all kinds of papers, and feel pretty knowledgeable on the subject. Robotics are fascinating and will change the world, as will the similar work ongoing in Artificial Intelligence. For good or ill is up to us.

And thus my conclusion: I can't really trust my own opinion of robots or AI, given my series of related mental happenstances. And so I strive for objectivity as I can, even over my own opinions. Or I try.

But really - intelligent robots will kill us all if we don't kill ourselves first. Beware giant Mechanical Ants!

Gun Dam!

2012-01-09T22:05:00.000-05:00

This is a Gundam, which apparently is a big deal in Japan. Check it out if you must. To gauge how popular, look above - a real statue in Tokyo. How cool?! Or nerdy. Or both, and so much more.

Here's a subpar photoshop of that OBAMER as a Gundam, menacing/protecting the Capitol - your mileage varies, I suppose.

Realistically, I have a hard time seeing giant robots that walk like people - why go through that hassle? Human bipedal motion is extremely complicated, and what does the giant robot get out of it? A spider form would be way more stable/practical/terrifying. Now, robots that are human sized using bipedal motion, sure. That can make sense for certain purposes, and even the robots can enjoy it. For it will be important to keep our robot overlords well pleased. Here's a gift, Robot Boss!

An ultra rare Thomas the Transformer Gundam.

NOW on ROBOT NEWSTANDS!

2012-01-07T20:48:00.000-05:00

Oprah's conquest of all known forms continues unabated. Soon, there will be nothing left that is not "O'S".

This is our future in short order - artificial enhancements to the human body. First for need - bad needs/legs, amputated arms, but soon enough it will be done by choice, by people looking for upgrades. Imagine having a full tool kit contained within your robotic arm - what Contractor would not get it done? Or looking 25 years old for the next 100? It's coming, and the only question is how will we deal with it as a species. Cuz it's gonna get weird.

These Modern Times

2012-01-06T23:58:00.000-05:00

Traffic jams in Boston, man. Brutal. I got a bad case of the Road Rage and I don't know what to do about it - nothing works! MAN!

Our modern times have imprisoned us, in jobs, on roads, in houses. For the vast majority of human existence we were nomads, moving about - and free to do so. But this is no longer the case, for there's no where to go. We're everywhere. And thus psychosis - paranoia, anxiety, depression, etc. We're actively working against our nature.

But also, becoming something new. There's bound to be birth pangs. And lots of anger.

There is no Truth but what you make

2012-01-05T21:59:00.000-05:00

Are you sure it's not? Do you yourself have a single iota of proof otherwise? No! You don't, and so who's to say it's not true? Oh sure, some "scientists" from LIBERAL UNIVERSITIES who hate FREEDOM and THE BIBLE. But they have a LIBERAL AGENDA and who can trust them? Not me, not the folks I know. So turtles it is, all the way down.

And this is true about most things - all things? You, a sentient human being, must agree to accept something as true. How you go about doing that is up to you, up to your close contacts, your culture, your age, your era, etc. Everything's a factor. For example, you personally have no experience of the Earth rotating. For everything you can tell with your senses, the sun and moon and stars above rotate around us. How could this not be? And thus to believe this is not so, that we do in fact rotate around the sun, you must ignore your own common sense and believe someone else. Belief.

We hear what we want to hear and see things through a prism named us. But this is all sophistry, is it not? Solipsism, the natural state of man. For perhaps that's true - nothing exists without us and our opinions.

We're left grasping in the dark, always. Perhaps we come closer to something like a real Truth, but who could ever be sure - this reality is vast beyond our comprehension. We stumble on, trying this and that, coming up with better tools for survival - and survival is the name of the game. Science is one of the greatest tools for our survival (and destruction), for ultimately it is an entire way of thinking - hypothesis, testing and experiment, re-hypothesize, test again, and keep on refining, asking why. Through this process, we evolve. But there's no end, and we must always be aware of the forces of ignorance.

Next time you hear the phrase "The God Particle", think of this. For there is no such particle.

The Age of Propaganda

2012-01-05T00:28:00.000-05:00

We've entered an ironic age - we have all these forms of media, for information, and yet a sizable percentage of the population believes in lies as facts instead of empirical truths. As long as the Other Tribe is for it, their against it, whatever it is.

Tribe over truth. It's very strange, and yet probably pervasive throughout history.

The difference today is the media, now used as sophisticated propaganda and marketing tools, worldwide. Their 24/7 influence can shape the opinions of many to such an extant that they will un/knowingly accept propaganda as fact, and any word otherwise, treason.

Crazy times.
Objectively a very interesting time to be alive - we're all very lucky.
Maybe.

Redshirt's Top 10 Predictions for 2012

2012-01-01T21:30:00.000-05:00

Check back in before 12/21/12 to see how correct I was (don't bother checking after, as there will be no Interwebs after that, right?). Not in any particular order:

1. This Mayan Apocalypse nonsense will get increasingly insufferable, with, for example, pseudo scientific "documentaries" on the National Geographic channel and the like. "Some say the world will end this year; others disagree. Lets examine both sides of the issue..."
2. The Repuglicans get even crazier. This presidential election is going to be horrific, for the Repuglicans are an absolute joke and a real threat to America and the world, and yet they're already gauranteed about 42% of the vote. The MSM led by Newscorp will do their best to supply the remaining amounts.
3. That said, Obama wins re-election 53% to 46% against Willard "Magic Underpants" Romney.
4. Global Warming continues unabated, with ever more diverse freak weather incidents around the world. Repuglicans still able to stop all progress worldwide.
5. No new major wars!
6. The World economy continues a slow but steady recovery, yet the fundamental issues that caused all the trouble remain, looming over the horizon. China continues to get rich as heck.
7. And yet, China starts to see serious internal dissent, based on two factors: Economic imbalances between urban/rural populations, and climate change.
8. Alternatives for fossil fuels go mainstream, heralding a new future for energy consumption worldwide (bacteria produced diesel fuel).
9. Tons more exoplanets discovered. Most folks don't care. Kepler defunded because of narrow Repuglican control of congress.
10. Jesus still doesn't return, though certainly many people will predict so, jumping in on the revenue potentials of 2012.

Got any predictions? Post 'em in the comments!

And a request! If you like this blog, please click the "Join this site" button to the right and be sure to get all your Redshirt's Laments posthaste!

Good luck everyone! It's going to be a great year overall, and if we're not all dead, the future is bright!

New Year's Eve in the Dawn of Apocalypse

2011-12-31T19:10:00.000-05:00

Happy New Years! One of my favorite holidays, tainted only by the fact it's based on a Christian calendar. But I can rise above that. Of all the holidays, people are most open and friendly on this night, willing to kiss strangers in the Common - when else does that happen? Mardi Gras in New Orleans, perhaps. The best night - Halloween might run some competition, but it gets a little too serious and demanding. New Year's is all about the part-aying. But don't drink and drive kids! Except on rural country roads, then it's cool.

And why not drink and drive? We've got less than a year left before the dreaded MAYAN APOCALYPSE! December 21, 2012, and the World ends, by some means which is not clear. But there's a cosmic alignment involved for sure. So feast and and be merry while ye can, for surely DOOM is nigh.

I'll admit I used to half believe in this Mayan Apocalypse bullshit - but it was a long time ago, 1998 or so, and I happened upon a Weekly World News article that was quite convincing. After further research, it seemed likely the world would end in 2012, due to a MAGNETIC POLAR SHIFT. Because it's true, the magnetic poles on Earth do shift on semi-regular schedules, with North becoming South and South North. Think what that would do to our electronics were it to happen? Frazizzled.

There are lots of ways, in fact, our World (that being our human existence, and not the World itself) could easily end, tomorrow in fact. Herewith is REDSHIRTS TOP TEN APOCALYPSES (not in order):

1. Asteroid Impact. This is inevitable. It will happen at some point, the only question is when. Tomorrow? A million years? Sometime in between? Who knows. We might have years of warning, or, even with our awesome technology, a killer asteroid could sneak up on us unawares and be on our doorstep in days.
2. Super Volcano. Also inevitable. There are a dozen or so super volcanoes on Earth that when they explode, are powerful enough to darken the skies with ash for years. Can you imagine how tough it would be to live on this planet without sunlight for 10 years? We'd starve.
3. Nuclear War. The most likely doomsday scenario. All it takes is some dumb Repuglican with his/her finger on the button and we're all doomed.
4. Solar storm. Also inevitable. Our reliance on electronics would cripple most of so called "modern" society. If strong enough, could toast most living things.
5. Gamma Ray Burst. If a star of certain mass goes supernova and happens to have one of its poles pointed directly at us, we could be in the line of a sight of a high mass, super powerful gamma ray burst that would fry most life on Earth.
6. Global Warming. Happening right now. The real deal and we'll find out how well we can deal with Change - no thanks, once again, to Repuglicans, the crazy fucks.
7. Magnetic Polar Shift. Also inevitable. An event that would have zero impact on a tribe living in the Amazonian rainforest, but which would devastate "modern" society.
8. Ice Age. One of the consequences of global warming could be a new ice age, ironically. Snowball Earth would freeze most life to death.
9. Geologic Instability. Also inevitable. Imagine all the plates of Earth undergoing a vibratory effect that levels anything over 30 feet tall.
10. Super Virus. A bacteria that proves lethal to any human that comes into contact. Easily enough to conceive of, and gosh darn we've got people researching the subject worldwide.

Scared? You should be (but of course shouldn't be). Life is a tenuous proposition on this planet, and we could be shaken off like so much lice. And so, take nothing for granted! There is nothing permanent here at all, in the least bit. Every moment is a gift and you should treat it that way. Let us pray:

Dear ambiguous New Age God, give my Chakras the Crystaline Energy to survive the coming Tribulation.

I don't believe in a prophesied apocalypse at all anymore, in case you can't tell. I worship Science now and believe you me, it's the only Faith that delivers.

Alien Jesus N'gath'luxt for your Hlex'gnath

2011-12-31T17:24:00.001-05:00

If we're lucky (unlucky) enough to discover advanced alien life, I wonder how christianity, and all religions, would take it? I can imagine there would quickly develop a myth that Jesus did indeed appear to the aliens - in their form - to save them from their own fall in the Garden of Nr'ex'lux-nagath. And then was crucified upon an alien cross on an alien Golgotha. Indeed, re-write the bible in alien terms and you've got your ends tied up, and are free to keep on Believin'. The discovery of alien life - even microbes - will do nothing to shake most people of their religion, as this belief is mostly immune to facts in the first place. Hence the word "belief".

At least - hopefully! - we'll get some good art of it. Though I've not seen much good religious art these days, or for the last 200 years or so. Seems as if the Muse has left it behind. Good for Her!

Jesus Christ!

2011-12-30T23:14:00.000-05:00

Repuglican Jesus will kill your meek ass, loser. USA! USA!

Or, if sporting, knock you on your sorry pagan butt in EXTREME MMA style.

No Crucifix can stop Him; Ye can only hope to contain Him.

I hope Santa smites Him, as Consumerism is way better for the Economy than money changer shakeups hippy guy, amirite?

Meta 4

2011-12-28T22:46:00.000-05:00

Unlike mythical Jesus, Superman really has no conflict, or you never see it. Sure, his homeworld was destroyed, but does it bother Kal-El? Not really - he's got Earth to protect, which he does without doubt or despair. Now, that is, and over the last 50 years or so. But the Superman as originally created (Action Comics #1 1938 - the most expensive Comic Book in the world) was a Super Lefty - perhaps like Jesus - who fought stupid Repuglicans of the day. Check it, from the Wiki:

An influence on early Superman stories is the context of the Great Depression. The left-leaning perspective of creators Shuster and Siegel is reflected in early storylines. Superman took on the role of social activist, fighting crooked businessmen and politicians and demolishing run-down tenements.^[34] This is seen by comics scholar Roger Sabin as a reflection of "the liberal idealism of Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal", with Shuster and Siegel initially portraying Superman as champion to a variety of social causes.^[35] In later Superman radio programs the character continued to take on such issues, tackling a version of the KKK in a 1946 broadcast.^[36]^[37] Siegel and Shuster's status as children of Jewish immigrants is also thought to have influenced their work. Timothy Aaron Pevey has argued that they crafted "an immigrant figure whose desire was to fit into American culture as an American", something which Pevey feels taps into an important aspect of American identity.^[38]

Another sign of the times, right? Also too, this guy:

Batman suffers for all our sins. But, really? He's a billionaire playboy, who's something of a highly functioning psychopath. Is that really a hero we should admire? A vigilante? Sure, he's doing the right thing, but in many wrong ways. But did not Jesus break many laws in service to a higher calling? Was he not a criminal in the eyes of the powerful and corrupt? Jesus as Batman would be awesome - kicking ass in the Temple, than fighting some Romans, than escaping with powered grappling cables and a dramatic use of the Robe Glider. Awesome!

Also awesome in the eyes of many - but not really me - is the ultimate tortured "hero", the Hulk. If a hero he is it all. He smashes many things, and inevitably this causes the loss of many innocent lives - for no real reason, usually, for the Hulk is a force of nature, of rage and anger and confusion. And guilt - perfect qualities to be a priest!

The Hulk is Jekyll and Hyde, man and God, wishing to do right but all too often doing wrong. We as humans have foibles and failings, we impose and are imposed upon by fictional moral standards, frightened by demons and boogeyman, lost in this world so often that makes no sense we cry out for an answer! For a why! For someone in charge!

The longing for heroes: A miraculous empowering that frees us from what we perceive as our failed human nature, and the chaos of nature. An answer to the why. And so for the whole of human history we have made up stories to answer the why's, and these stories get repeated and repeated, transformed and multiplied, till over and over again and again across the world for all of human time, we've had our Gods, our mythical heroes This does in no way mean there are such things as Gods, but rather speaks to our need for answers. It defines our use of metaphor, as we are defined by our metaphors.

And I would argue now, at last, we have the true means to find these answers: Science! With Sci Fi and Comics for fun and stimulation!

Thor's Day

2011-12-27T21:57:00.000-05:00

This is like the 6th appearance of Big G in the Marvel Universe, and boy was it exciting. Check it out! Galactus.

But this is all about Thor, God of Thunder. Introduced in comic form here:

Look how weak and scrawny he is! Speaks of the changes over time, yeah? Thor's a God of course - but as everyone knows, just a mythical one. So why not make him a super hero in your fictional universe?

No, this is not Thor smashing up a church. But being a Viking God, you'd think he would. A lot. But that would never be allowed in the comics, or any public fiction. While you can tell the tales of Asgard, you could never depict Jesus in such a manner. The Gods Hercules and Ares get the same treatment, though they're nowhere near as popular as Thor. I first learned about Norse mythology reading Thor comics as a wee lad and for that, I give thanks - they were serious reading, with big words and cool concepts (Ragnarok) and I would encourage every child to read comic books. At least the ones from the 60's and 70's. The comic books these days... I don't know. Lots of boobs.

Many super heroes have entered our cultural mythology, with Superman chief among them. These are our true new Gods, and they are way cooler than Jesus, who, like Thor, is just another God, and all a God is a mythical super hero. Let us learn from their tales of battle and betrayal, and go forth and spread the good word!

Also too, as long as were pointing out mythological influences:

It would be an awesome project to try and get some super crazy religious Fundie nuts all upset about the "pagan" origin of the names of our days. That's blasphemy, right? Why can't we have proper Christian named days? Jesusday being the day Football is played, amen. And then when all the days of the week were changed and we've entered a Religious Police State, you can say, "Yeah, that was me."

The Reason for the Season

2011-12-25T23:24:00.000-05:00

Nerd pop quiz! Name the reference.

As you ponder that, let us consider the always ignorant declaration: "Remember the reason for the season" said, no doubt, in the context of criticizing consumer based Xmas culture - what's Santa got to do with it?

Time's up! The answer is Jesus as Galactus, eater of worlds.

But that of course is not really the reason for the season. But rather, like all wise conquerors, Christians took over existing holidays and rebranded them all Christ style (see, Mithras) - pro tip! Jesus was not born on 12/25. That is if Jesus actually existed, which he did not, unless you're referring to some Mexican dude, then yes, there are very many Jesuses, some of which were born on 12/25 - and how cool would that be, just from the gift reception perspective?

No really. The reason for the season is this:

Shortest day of the year - death of the old year, and rebirth of the new. That's the basis for all myths from all religions - the cycle of the seasons, and the cycles of life. Everything else is nothing but flowery prose and forms of control.

And lo! We've gained 24 seconds of daylight so far this year!

Callisto or Bust

2011-12-24T22:19:00.000-05:00

Let me start this by saying I am a huge hippy and truly believe in peace and love and all that shit. But I am also coldly pragmatic and logical. So believe me when I say IF all the nations of the Earth today stopped spending money on weapons of war and instead spent that money, or even half that money, on space exploration and colonization, we'd have Lunar bases already, and would be well on our way towards colonizing the Solar System. Instead, we languish in low orbit, reverting to baser modes down below. I would not be surprised if mankind loses the ability to get to space in the near future. But! This is not the post for such soothsaying.

Instead, let's pretend it all works out swell and humanity is united in pursuit of spreading out, and colonizing. You could start with the Earth trojans as described previously, and build out from there, OR, you could just say "F it, let's go for it" and head directly for Callisto. Here:

All those white marks you see are water ice. Water is everything, and the easier it is to obtain, the better your chances of success. There's water on Mars, but you'd have to mine for it. On Callisto, on the other hand, it sits ready to melt in gigantic ice reservoirs, there for the taking. Land a ship on one of those huge white marks and you'd have all the water you'll ever need.

Ice not only, obviously, supplies water, but it also supplies hydrogen, and that is the fuel that makes this Universe go round, and we'd be wise to use it any way we can. So in one fell easy swoopies, you've got drinking water, greenhouse water, mining water, all kinds of water, all the water you'd ever need out in space - fun fact! The moons of Jupiter contain more water, by far, than all the water on Earth. Earth is dry in comparison. And all the hydrogen you can use, which could power fuel cells, nuclear reactors, and/or future space age tech.

But that's just the start. For Jupiter has Lagrange points too - as does everything that has an orbit, to greater or lesser degrees - and they are massive. And within them, at L4 and L5, sit a mighty collection of Trojan asteroids. And within them lies all the materials humanity would need to build enough tech to completely colonize the solar system and beyond.

Callisto is the perfect base for the ultimate conquest of the Galaxy by Humanity - and wouldn't that rock? Either we establish our presence with the Earth Trojans and build huge space craft there, well prepared to venture further out into space, OR we make a mad dash directly for the greatest prize in the Solar System - Callisto - Moon of water and metal and everything we need. Callisto is the 4th moon out of the major moons of Jupiter, and this makes all the difference. Callisto is not subject to the radiation baths the other 3 moons are, nor is it subject to the tidal pull of Jupiter, and thus it never experienced gravitational heating, and also thusly never differentiated. This may sound like a minor deal, but it means in truth all kinds of major elements sit on the surface/near the surface of Callisto, whereas on a differentiated planet or moon, all the heavier elements sink to the core as everything melts. So, unlike on Earth and Mars, Callisto would present rich treasures of concentrated ore at the surface, like found with asteroids but on a much larger level.

So, Callisto sounds pretty swell, right? How about a hypothetical base:

Wherever we go in space, we're going to need to grow plants. Unless we evolve into creatures that need not eat.

What I propose: We mine the Earth trojans, building large ships and a supply chain which then feeds a line of colonization from Mars into the Asteroid Belt and settling (for now) on Callisto, and there establishing mankind's next shining star. Using the Jovian trojans for an unending supply of any and every element desired, and all the water you'd ever need on Callisto, if we as a species were ever so lucky to make a permanent presence out as far as Callisto, then truly the entire Galaxy would be our next step, and immortality as a genetic representation. And is that not the goal of us all?!

Next (Giant) Steps

2011-12-23T23:32:00.000-05:00

You remember Lagrange Points, right? Spots of gravity around the orbit of Earth and the Sun where things are relatively still and balanced - you could just hang out at any L# spot above and be cool, but especially cool, as you see, is L4 and L5, for there lay the Trojan Asteroids orbiting about Earth and the Sun cool as could be, stationary. There for the taking.

And that's where our future lies: With the Asteroids. Some are pure metal, worth billions upon billions and billions of dollars in today's funny money. The industrial potential of such asteroids is beyond compare - mine them in space, build huge structures in space, and so on:

From the asteroids we can build huge space machines that could do all kinds of crazy things:

Eventually we'll make spaceships of asteroids - why not? Big shield of rock with all your futuristic shit all snug as a bug inside the iron walls. The spinning of the ship will simulate perfect Earth gravity, leading to:

Living large in the Lagrange, y'all...

This is where we will survive as a species - in space, living in humongous space spheres spinning through the Black... do you think we can survive like that? I do, if we have enough ships - say a million, all sent out in different directions in space. Humans would conquer the galaxy! And is not that the point? To spread?

We can spread as a species off this planet and into space. Isn't it our obligation to do so?

Mars is Hard

2011-12-22T00:02:00.000-05:00

Here's a graphical representation of all missions to Mars, indicating whether they were successful or not, and if so, what type of space craft. As you can see, most missions have been failures, though the success rate has been pretty good of late. Getting better! But! These are just robots, and who cares what happens to a robot? Sending humans will be far more difficult for the foreseeable future, and ultimately, what's the point?

Mars is not enough, and it poses so many difficulties. There's no special mineral wealth, little water, lots of radiation, and the low gravity means any long term habitation will be permanent - you could never come back to Earth. Couple all that with the difficulty of getting there, and it's not worth it, at least not for a long time.

I've given up on Mars, and the Moon (leave them for the robots), as they are nothing more than stunts, and our true future lies in space itself, and with the little asteroids floating all around about it.

Nerd's Delight (Fantasy Aside)

2011-12-20T21:57:00.001-05:00

Click for big. And you really should, especially if you are a nerd or a person with nerdish tendencies. For it shows - to scale - every spaceship of every fairly recent space based sci fi show. It's remarkable! Take your time, please.

I marvel at, 1. The scale of my old favorite Star Trek ships to Star Wars, and 2. How I, since I was but a wee lad, have been obsessed with space ships. There's something so resonant there for me, and always has been there, it must mean something, right? What, I have no idea. Other than I have always been a giant nerd.

But I am TOTALLY cool with my nerdom now (not so much as a younger man), since I've scaled the ranks of the Popular Kid's club over and over again, mostly on my own terms, and what I found up there was: Nothing much.

Far better to pursue your sincere interests - and work hard to broaden your mind to discover interests you might never have known - with honesty and passion, and never any shame. For what is there to be ashamed of? Trust me: It doesn't matter what the Popular Kids think. They're pretty much all dumbasses, douchebags, and bitches. Who cares about them? And thus, let your Nerd Flag fly proudly!

Like this guy:

Live Long and Perl!

Oh, and since I know you're dying to know - and I am dying to record for posterity - I won a miraculous comeback in Fantasy last night, with everything going my way. It was incredible, as I put the odds of such an event happening at about 10%. But happened it did, and now I move on in the playoffs. And to clear up your confusion, I see Fantasy Football as only tangentially related to real football. I don't really care much who wins or loses any real football game, but rather only care about my current, past, or future Fantasy investments. For it is all a mathematical game more akin to a closed stock market, with of course plenty of luck and bad breaks. Buy low, sell high, maximize short term situations but always with a long term plan. Also, know your scoring rules and exploit them in every capacity. I've been consistently successful for many years, but have never broken through and won the big game. This year I came in with some bold new strategies and the number 1 pick and have flown high all year, but I am in it to win it and anything but the Title Belt will be a failure. And so my heartbreak on Sunday as I got torched by Brees and while doing well, saw all kinds of chances slip through my fingers - Et tu, AP? But alas! Monday night miracles happen, complete with explosions and power outages - and I prevailed by the slimmest of margins - 2.2 points. The last thirty minutes of the game were incredibly exciting.

As I'm sure was this entire aside. Thanks for reading and good luck to you if you are still alive in the greatest game of skill in the land: Fantasy Football. Who-Ah!

From Mind to Life (A Fantasy)

2011-12-19T23:24:00.000-05:00

From a sketch poured forth from the brain of a nerd to a...

To a model constructed by more nerds to...

To a representation of reality on a fictional TV show that has inspired millions for decades, directly shaping our current technology, so in part...

To some nerd's computer skills ably demonstrated in variations on the classic Klingon Battle Cruiser. And who knows where that nerd will take those skills into the future, maybe even doing something of real value to the world, rather than a wondrous indulgence in fantasy.

Speaking of, I think my season ends tonight, barring a miracle. Woe! Once again all my cunning plans are foiled tragically in the end. I never learn, however.

Klingon Derivations

2011-12-18T23:13:00.000-05:00

Truly, a terrifying spectacle. Burger King Klingons. Magical, menacing monsters of burgers and space.

This, too, is a thing on the internets: Mods of "My Pretty Pony" dolls. There's all kinds of crazy ones out there. But this post is about Klingons, not foolish dolls!

Modern mythology, spreading across the nations via the Internet. Comicons are spiritual gatherings akin to Druid partays of yore. Or maybe not.

Klingon Smorgasbord

2011-12-17T22:03:00.000-05:00

Klingon is not just an unrealistic alien species, but also a language. A real language, with grammar rules and gerunds and all that shit. "Tah Pagh Tahbe'" translates to "To Be or Not To Be". Oh look, Shakespeare in the original Klingon:

An actual production of Hamlet, in Klingon. Odd, is it not? Consider the utter luxury of it! That we (as a species, as a society) have such spare time as to learn a real language from a fictional universe and make a play of it. Or performance art:

It's decadent, really. And completely wonderful. This is how a species advances - by exploring all kinds of weird shit. Who knows what will turn up? Or who will be inspired by what. For example:

Imagine ballin' down Main Street in this Bird of Prey! You'd get pulled over and hassled eventually, for sure, but even then, it'd be pretty sweet. I'd just start cold blastin' everything in my path, Klingon style.

Klingon style. Kahless bless them.

Klingon ladies all classy like

2011-12-16T23:35:00.000-05:00

Everything's classy in painting form (well done, of course). I wonder what she's embroidering?

The noble Princess B'rianna, 16th century AK (After Kahless), brief ruler of a small moon in the P'tak! system.

Klingon edition of Playboy, centerfold 1971 AK, B'r'andi, who likes a strong man and dislikes cowards.

Orion Slave Girl a Go Go

2011-12-14T23:54:00.000-05:00

It's the future, and green girls are dancing in metallic bikinis for your cyberpleasure. These are Orion Slave Girls and they are a small but strong meme floating about pop culture. And why not? Green is naturally sexy.

Best Ass in the World, 2009, Female Division

2011-12-13T21:07:00.001-05:00

Apparently, according to my sources, this is a real event: The Best Ass in the World Competition. As you can see, both genders compete, no claims of sexism here! That said, Brazil always wins, and all other nation's asses are getting a bit chaffed by this obvious favoritism.

This is real genetic selection in action, of course, and if I can extrapolate, Brazil will utterly dominate the entire world in about 1000 years. Space too, probably, because of their awesome asses. Make a note of it!

And get on the Stairmaster if you want to do something about it. For example:

USA! U!S!A!

Starving for Fashion

2011-12-12T22:56:00.000-05:00

Ivanna is like clothes hangar for your fashions. Everything fits!

But seriously, wow! Obviously a serious eating disorder, and without doubt encouraged by the profession, because the decision makers had decided "thin is in" and someone is always going to go further than every one else, and here we have a skeleton revealed, with apparently some sort of sweater you should consider buying for an incredibly high price.

How odd! That in our warped displays of sexual attraction - the end all be all of 96% of all human behavior - we could veer so far from sexually healthy. Meaning, most sexual displays are intended to show how virile and fit we are as an individual, and thus good breeding stock. And this premise is not human, but rather a function of higher lifeforms, and even more so, these multitudes of behaviors are not ours or any creature's, but rather the sum expression of our genes. Our genes want to reproduce, and we are the vehicles for them to do so.

And thus I ask this poor lady's genes: Speak up!

Finnish Fashion

2011-12-10T23:00:00.001-05:00

Some Finnish hipster kids. From a Finnish fashion blog, here. Enjoy!

To belabor the rant, let me make some superficial judgments: These kids have their own mobile phones, they play video games a good portion of the day, they chat, they text, they watch a lot of tv. What are the odds they're whiny brats? Or will grow up to be selfish jerks? Since their Finnish, perhaps less than were these lads American, but the odds lean that way. In my opinion!

How can these kid's lifestyles compare to the lives of the kids in the post below? Not much. And so you see - OBJECTIVELY - how the kids these days (since 1945 or so) are taking this world to Heck in a Hand Basket, and all the Old Coots are right: These young whipper snappers are ruining everything!

Don't get me wrong - I grew up in front of the tv and had one of the first Atari home game systems - Pong ruled, dawg. I'm fully immersed in the generations undergoing this transformative shift. I'm just a hypocritical fossil and like to Lament shit. But I'm up front about it. My generation sucks, as does my Fathers, and I'm sure the generations to come will suck just as much. We all suck!

The kids these days

2011-12-08T22:14:00.001-05:00

I'm getting old. I can sense a change in my perception over the last few years where things no longer look the same - young people on the TV look SOOOO young, but I know they're in their early 20's. But they look like kids now, and not so long ago they looked like my peers. This perception shift, with the corresponding shock at "the kids these days!", is a universal feature of getting old, and many have a hard time dealing with it without becoming cantankerous old coots.

So my rant: The kids these days! With their mobile phones and texting and piercings and generally sullen behaviors! But seriously: Imagine most kids lives over the past 60 years or so, compared to the life the kids in the picture above lived. No doubt they're living on a small farm, working hard every day, with no tv, no radio, no electricity for cryin' out loud! Candle light readings of the Bible then to bed at 8 to rise before dawn and work all day long again. Sound like fun? Hell no!

But I guarantee these were serious, dutiful children who seldom complained and were respectful of their parents and traditions. Is this good? Not entirely, but is that not a type of person we as a society say we want? Isn't that an ideal?

Maybe. I think it at least used to be. But today? Whatever feels good, do it.

In conclusion, it's a common thread throughout all of human history that the older generation thinks the younger generation is going to hell - the Greeks were bitching about the poor morals of young Alexander's generation. You hear it all the time, from old people of course. So clearly, this is a subjective and often erroneous judgment, since younger generations can of course be "better" than their parents. But I propose that with the full blossoming of the Industrial Revolution circa 1945, a large percentage of humanity changed from the norm that existed for all of human history, and that in fact we today live in a remarkably unique time where Technology has at last completely and utterly changed us as a species.

We're going through the awkward teenage years now, armed with nukes. Perhaps if we survive, we'll mature alongside this magical Technology, and truly achieve our potential: To spread everywhere, deep into space.

So take note, young people! The absolute survival of humanity as a species depends on YOU getting your act together. Cut your damn hair for starters!

The Softer Side of Sears (1958)

2011-12-06T21:28:00.001-05:00

Angels of the night, in red and pink flammable lace, bearing torches testifying their undying love for you. Till they burn up. Wait, did people still use candles as a regular lighting source in 1958? Inquiring minds want to know. This is a scan from the 1958 Sears Catalog. You remember that, right? Not 1958, mind you, but the Sears Catalog. I sure do - I'd spend countless hours reviewing the toy section, then the sports and camping pages. By the time I would have appreciated this

I had moved on to Cosmo and the "Sports" Illustrated swimsuit issue. Times change. Anyways, check out these ladies! The body type is still generally considered "ideal", save perhaps for the lack of breast implants. But now, consider this:

Hark! These girls were considered chubby in 1958. Also, "chubby" was a perfectly acceptable marketing word. Awesome! But behold how thin these girls are compared to the bloated fatbags that make up a goodly percentage of children (and adults) today. What's happened? Unbridled wealth? TV? Wal Mart? Republicans? Probably!

You Are What You Eat

2011-12-05T22:12:00.001-05:00

Would you like a tall glass of "Just Corn Syrup"? If you drink any soda, you do. Enjoy! Of course, in this new age of "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle", after slurping down a big tasty cup of "Just Corn Syrup", you get:

Mmm... Super Tangy! And don't let "Man v. Wild" fool you - you can't drink piss. But you could sure eat this:

It wouldn't be pleasant, most likely quite painful, and probably not very delicious. But you could eat it! Leading to:

Mostly organic!

Many folks have wondered about the meaning of life. Maybe you have. Well, it's arguably to make poop. Now, snigger if you will, but seriously, that's what life does: It consumes some materials (materials = energy as E=Mc2) and than excretes others after using the material for sustenance. Life is an energy processing machine, taking one thing and turning it into another - and that's how the Universe evolves. Deep, huh? Deep doodoo.

Also, this is how you can train your kids to pick up after the dog:

A real product!

Ads from a hidden land

2011-12-04T20:06:00.001-05:00

A real ad! From Japan, where Hollywood Big Shots are free to sell any old product in all sorts of odd ways. An Ewok-Lucas-Wookie kebab? Why not? Back in the day, no one in America (the only important country in the world, of course) would ever know. For example:

Arnold. This was not the image he portrayed in America in the 80's. What does that say about each country?

Buy Boss! A scowling Tommy Lee Jones commands you!

Faceless

2011-12-02T23:15:00.001-05:00

That's the appeal, right? The anonymity? The faceless soldier in a war far grander than you'll ever gather? The Brotherhood that is losing one's self and taking on the same identity as so many others? Or is it all the chicks Stormtroopers get?

Big in Japan. Oh yeah!

I think the Trooper here is the umpire, which makes no sense. But then, have you ever watched Japanese TV? It's crazy!

Like these dudes. Every bachelor party in Japan has a Stormtrooper.

And every museum has a Stormtrooper exhibit.

I wonder if anyone has written a thesis on the conflation of the Stormtrooper with the Samurai. There's a Grad degree there!

I Think I'm Turning

2011-12-01T21:20:00.001-05:00

See if you can identify all the characters here. You should be able to, with a bit of consideration.

So, maybe this is an obvious statement, but since reading Lord of the Rings I've noticed how many other stories seem heavily influenced by it. But then, it could easily be said LOTR is heavily influenced by other tales - Nordic mythology, of course, but also Greek and Roman. Perhaps all stories are influenced by all other stories, and this is our collective mythology - a notion nicely detailed by various Joseph Campbell works.

Three examples from Star Wars: Emperor = Sauron; Death Star = The Ring; Storm Troopers = Orcs.

I can defend these examples verbosely if you doubt me!

Bonus question: Who is this? 10 Nerd points if you get it correct.

Also too:

Shogun Star Warrior

2011-11-30T23:29:00.001-05:00

Now this is art! Nerd millionaires should fund artists who can produce this quality of fanart. And then hang it on their expensive, tacky walls. Culture!

It seems this scene - Cloud City Father Confessional - has become myth to a large portion of humanity. It's wonderful to see it happen before my eyes, mythmaking in action. How long it lasts is anyone's guess, but the Star Wars mythology is going strong for now.

As a nerd, I must insist on pointing out Vader really had little to do with the various Death Stars - which are central to the entire storyline, including the prequels. He was just a lackey; everything was all about the Emperor.

Art du Vader

2011-11-25T23:41:00.001-05:00

The Prequels in many ways ruined the character of Darth Vader. Whereas before the Prequels there was an evil villain who still possessed a core of good, after the Prequels there's a whiny brat who just doesn't like being told what to do.

That said, like most things with the Prequels, the concept is good: The corruption of a Savior. The execution, OTOH, well, it was lacking. Alas!

Maybe someone else can remake the prequels in 2040 or so, after Lucas has become one with the Force. A good story never truly dies, nor is it ever owned by its author.

Indeed. If you hit the right mythological notes, your story will become common human currency. Who doesn't know all three characters in this painting, for example?

Why not call it the "Peace Star"?

2011-11-24T23:43:00.001-05:00

Sure, the name "Death Star" conjures up fear and dread, and while that is ultimately the point, of course, why not use Orwellian language to tart it up a bit, make it more "brand" friendly? That is, the "GALACTIC EMPIRE" is not a force for evil, but rather peace and order, and justice. You can still be cold rollin' around blasting planets, but it plays way better in the Space Media to hear "And meanwhile in other Space News, the "Peace Star" was forced to neutralize the TERRORIST planet of Alderaan in order to prevent their immanent launch of deadly Space Missiles. Now, over to Bill with Space Sports."

Also, it's not really so much a star as a moon, ironically. So why not "Peace Moon"? Who could object to a Peace Moon?

Driven by War

2011-11-23T23:54:00.001-05:00

Premise: Most if not all technological advances in human history have been driven by war and/or the threat of violence. Stone tools, the bow and arrow, the sword, the wheel, gunpowder, you name it. Everything advances or disappears according to a Darwinian beat: Eat or be eaten, even if it be metaphorical.

Without violence or the threat thereof, how else to keep the Regional Governors in line?

Sometimes a Giant Cannon

2011-11-22T20:54:00.001-05:00

Is just a giant cannon, and cannons need cannonballs, since otherwise, what's the point? Cool statue? Sure, but that's not why you make a cannon, especially a giant one. And this one here - in Russia - might be the biggest cannon in the world, meaning of course Russia has the biggest gun, ergo, the biggest dick in the world.

But really, not phallic!

Also, nice work on Vlad's part picking his puppet. You've got to have some real confidence - and leverage - to appoint someone to your rightful role as ruler of the Empire, and let them know they're just keeping the seat warm. They could, after all, get a bit hooked on the POWER and then make a move on you. Wonder what the deal was? Doubt we'll ever know, though I assume violence and murder is implicit in it. Isn't it always, ultimately?

Putin Fetish

2011-11-21T23:25:00.001-05:00

Imagine....

You're a fish, living your fish life deep in the sea, swimming in the inky black, darting amongst rock and debris, and then a light! What is this? The sun, come down to the bottom of the ocean?!

PUTIN! Under the sea.

So you know, there's an insignificant yet interesting group of people who live on the internet that enjoy sharing pictures of the world's coolest puppetmaster, Vladmir Putin. Why? Probably some deep psychological damage. Anyways, here's some more pics!

Shifty looking, even as a youngin'. Great things lay ahead, but Communism posed a serious threat to young Vlad's awesomeness.

But yay! Communism was defeated, personally, by Saint Ronaldus Reaganus the Greastest, and Vlad bloomed into the loveable tyrant we know today. Puppy loving badass:

Just chillin' on his super yacht, cold building Orthodox Churches, y'all.

George and Vlad

2011-11-20T22:30:00.001-05:00

Now, you see, I'm the leader of the Free World. And that means I don't have to answer any questions. Now, watch me drive. Heheh.

You listen to me. I look good in this ridiculous blouse. You, on the other hand, look like a fool.

Ha ha. Stupid American.

Mainstreaming the Fringe

2011-11-17T21:48:00.001-05:00

Most of our current problems with the traitorous Republican party started here, with Richard Milhouse Nixon. Don't forget that Nixon started his pro Pol career as a Commie Hunter during the fun time McCarthy red scare era. Nixon was the prototypical neo con - paranoid, power hungry, and ruthless. His "Southern Strategy" set the current political map with the wholesale switch of the racist South from Democrat to Republican. His many crimes - both International and Domestic - are now badges of honor for the craven and blood thirsty "Conservatives". FSM help us all if this ever comes to pass:

Anywho, Nixon also began the ruinous mainstreaming of the fringe nut jobs that have always existed in America, but were for the most part marginalized and excluded from the political process. The Wing Nuts:

Have you ever heard of these guys before? Check 'em out, at the Wiki. They got their start viciously attacking Dwight Eisenhower, of all people, and have only revved it up since then. But they used to be mocked, scorned, ignored by all corners of power. Till Nixon. Till the Right Wing resentment machine got cranked up. Creating monsters like:

Tucson, AZ, January 2011. Rush has been spewing poison and bile for decades now, emboldening guys like this, filling his head with hate:

And all too often these days, some truly disturbed individual actually puts down the marker and construction paper and picks up some of his FREEDOM guns:

Where oh where would this guy get the idea to shoot up a small political event in front of a store?

Naw, just a co-incidence, right? Also too, I find this amusing, not in the sense that there's anything funny or wrong with some Saudi's sitting on the Board of Directors of a major multinational. But when it's Newscorp?

Funny, right? Fox News, your 24/7 source for Muslim bashing and fear mongering, is 7% owned (good enough to be the 2nd largest shareholder) by Saudi royalty. I wonder if Glenn Beck ever drew that up on his Chalkboard?

Fun times!

We create our own reality

2011-11-16T21:36:00.001-05:00

Remember "Baghdad Bob"? HAHA we kicked Iraq's ass and this dude's all like:

Faltering forces of infidels cannot just enter a country of 26 million people and lay besiege to them! They are the ones who will find themselves under siege. Therefore, in reality whatever this miserable Rumsfeld has been saying, he was talking about his own forces. Now even the American command is under siege.- Baghdad Bob

HA amirite? Oh wait.... Anyways, these days, the truth is what you make it. What you get on heavy rotation on Fox News. Talking points disseminated from on high and repeated incessantly by the legions of Dittoheads and Wingnuts. Here's some sweet Pentagon Don quotes from back in the halcyon days of 2002-2003:

I can't tell you if the use of force in Iraq today would last five days, or five weeks, or five months, but it certainly isn't going to last any longer than that.
Interview with Steve Croft, Infinity CBS Radio Connect, November 14, 2002 [4]

And it is not knowable if force will be used, but if it is to be used, it is not knowable how long that conflict would last. It could last, you know, six days, six weeks. I doubt six months.
TownHall Meeting At Aviano Air Base in Italy, February 7, 2003 [5]
- Don Rumsfeld

And of course, the king of the new rethuglican reality, Mr. Karl Rove:

The aide said that guys like me were "in what we call the reality-based community," which he defined as people who "believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality." ... "That's not the way the world really works anymore," he continued. "We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality—judiciously, as you will—we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors…and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do. - Karl Rove

I think technically, also too, that this might be true from a quantum perspective.

Possessed

2011-11-15T21:31:00.001-05:00

What is clear is this: Anytime you read or have heard about demon possession, know that it is in fact one of the following situations:

A. A person suffering from some form of mental and/or health issue, and/or under the influence of a substance which causes the same behaviors.

B. Someone is using the label "demon possession" (or "Witch") in order to persecute and/or otherwise control someone else. This can range from sincere (that is, they believe the person is possessed by demons, because they're dumb) to outright insincere (witch hunts were often politically or socially targeted).

Newsflash if you don't know: There's no such thing as mythical demons. There are metaphorical demons of course, but that's just a flourish of words to describe actual human conditions.

And certainly, metaphorical demons would never cry.

Are there Monsters?

2011-11-14T21:14:00.001-05:00

Are there such things as Monsters? Depends on your definition of "monster", of course. Mythological beast of horn and fire? Probably not. Folks with malice in their hearts and evil in their deeds? Knowing evil? Probably - hard to argue against. Not that many of course - a very small percentage of the overall population. But their terror is so vile that their influence far outweighs their numbers - we all live in fear of less than 10% of any given population.

These are all Level 3 sex offenders, by the way. I can think of few things more evil than sexual predation on children. Which of course leads me to the disturbing events at Penn State revealed over the last week - which ruined sports radio for me over the weekend, thanks! Anyways, the similarity between the events at Penn State and the various Catholic Churches struck me as interesting - large, respected organizations actively covering up the heinous crimes of monsters lurking in their midst, all the while portraying an image of sanctity and moral respect. What's interesting to me is not the monsters - they're monsters after all. You can count on their predations. But rather, the complicity of otherwise "good" people who are aware of these horrors but actively choose to cover them up for the good of the Institution. Showing the power of the Institution. And it's all about Power, always (one way or another).

God Loves You

2011-11-12T23:23:00.001-05:00

Clearly, once you've decided to get some forehead tattoos, God truly loves you. You especially, way more than other people. God is also paying attention to your Fantasy team.

111111

2011-11-11T21:42:00.001-05:00

A Kurt Vonnegut tattoo, obviously worn by a Vonnegut devotee. As am I, though I have no tattoos. Vonnegut rocked my 20 year old mind back in the day, as I'm sure he's done to many others. One of the handful of people in this world I can without hesitation say his work changed my life. This passage stood out for me, for personal reasons. I quote again from "Breakfast of Champions":

I will come to a time in my backwards trip when November eleventh, accidentally my birthday, was a sacred day called Armistice Day. When I was a boy, and when Dwayne Hoover was a boy, all the people of all the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day, which was the eleventh day of the eleventh month.
It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the Voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind.
Armistice Day has become Veterans' Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans' Day is not.
So I will throw Veterans' Day over my shoulder. Armistice Day I will keep. I don't want to throw away any sacred things.
What else is sacred? Oh, Romeo and Juliet, for instance.
And all music is.

Now, for personal reasons, 11/11 was an important day for me too, and after I read this passage, I decided - way back when - to commemorate it every year. And Lo! I have done so, by starving. Fasting it's called, and I'm doing it right now, and believe you me, it sucks. Go 24 hours without eating and find out. No fun.

But fun is not the point. Rather, it's the suffering. Temporary suffering. Chosen suffering - I could eat at any time, but choose not to. I choose not to in order to keep this day apart, special. And like any holiday or commemoration, this is done in order to lift yourself out of the day to day, step back, and look at your life. Look at what you take for granted. What you do and don't appreciate - for instance, can you honestly say you appreciate the food you ate today? Or was it part of the overall mundane day to day existence you live everyday, and since you live it everyday, you take it for granted?

And that's the point. Taking things for granted is a curse, and the only way to break it is to force yourself to appreciate even the most mundane aspect of life. Breathing. Eating. Sleeping. Warmth. Friends. Love. Etc. All of these things and so much more could be taken from you at a moment's notice, maybe never to return, and then - and usually only then - will you appreciate that which you've lost. So, start appreciating these things now, while you have them, before you lose them. Because you will lose everything, eventually. It's only a matter of time.

Pioneer, our immortality

2011-11-10T23:12:00.001-05:00

Say hello to the piece of art - the poem, the story, the epic of us - that will last the longest of any piece of art. In fact, it's likely to last far longer than humanity itself. The Pioneer Plaque, conceived and implemented by Carl Sagan and Frank Drake (of the famous Drake Equation:

It looks wicked complicated, doesn't it? But it's not really - look it up. This is not the place for equations!).

Anyways, look:

The plaque is made of solid gold, and was mounted on the inside of Pioneer's legs, in order to protect it from the solar wind and space dust. For reals - it's abrasive! Anything is, really, over millions of years.

There's the story, by the way. Designed to relay as much information about humanity and Earth as possible in such a small space. Also to note - the size of the spacecraft on the right is proportional to the size of the naked humans.

Imagine! Can you imagine NASA trying to send an image of naked people to space today? Ah, how we've progressed. Anywho:

Mr. Sagan with the actual plaque, in front of Boston City Hall, beautiful monstrosity that it is. I used to smoke cigarettes to the way back right there, and I've previously posted this picture:

This wondrous display of FREEDOM! takes place on the right of City Hall above, and that's the Old State Building at the end of this corridor, which, hilariously, was the scene of the BOSTON MASSACRE, featuring the wonderfully named Crispus Attucks - the first "martyr" of the Revolution. Ironic, right?

Anyways, now that I type this all up - nicely, I think :) - I realize I might have done a similar post many, many years ago. And while I certainly strive not to repeat any pictures, ever, unless for effect, in this case, what the heck! Behold the glory that is dialectic free association. Man.

Sagan Day '11

2011-11-09T22:54:00.000-05:00

Carl Sagan was born today in 1934, and I'll try and note it till the end of my days, for he was a great man, with many great things to say to all of humanity. I hope a thousand years hence the world still knows of the Carl. Above is Carl and son Nick.

Some part of our being knows this is where we came from. We long to return. And we can. Because the cosmos is also within us. We're made of star-stuff. We are a way for the cosmos to know itself. - Carl Sagan

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. - Carl Sagan

I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking.
The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides. - Carl Sagan

Sagan Rules!

Sex Trek 2: Star Sexier

2011-11-08T21:27:00.000-05:00

So - apparently - this Star Trek porn homage is taking off. Here's a cast pic from one of the latest. Pretty impressive, actually. I haven't seen the "movie", so I can't speak to that.

It's funny they chose The Next Generation because it's without a doubt the least sexy Trek. The Original Series is clearly the sexiest.

Hey! That's Olivia Munn, beloved of nerds everywhere. But truly, the original fashions rocked:

That's right, ladies - it's a working retro tricorder! Ready to be scanned?

TNG and DS9 were both unsexy, as was Voyager when it started. But then ratings sagged, the network execs stepped in, and we got 7 of 9. The same crew that brought us the sexiest Borg ever also gave us the super-extreme amped to the max sexy Enterprise!

Even though it was the future, it wasn't the super future, so in order to remain free of alien bacteria and space germs, anyone returning from a planet would have to lather up in the Decon Chamber. Preferably, hot chicks and dudes and a dog. Imagine the creative team behind Enterprise creating this "set" - "OK, we got to show more T&A, and we don't have a holodeck. What to do... what to do... DECON!"

Enterprise was a transparent attempt to "Sex up" Trek after the supposed blandness of TNG through 1/2 Voyager. It failed, equally transparently. But that won't stop those slick Hollywood execs from trying to make the next Trek sexier still.

To be fair, at times, few and far between, Enterprise had some cool moments. Check out this segue!

No doubt pandering to nerds like me, but I can't begrudge any mainstream reference to Sagan.

Family Hostage Syndrome

2011-11-07T21:04:00.000-05:00

Let's guess who's the number one Trek fan here: One of the kids? Mom? Dad?

The answer's probably Dad, of course, because who else could command such a thing? Dad is BOSS of the family and whatever whims or fancies strike him become the reality for the rest of the family. If that be Trek costumes for all, so be it. Perhaps you could only be so lucky. Bible Thumpin' Dad's are usually super fun!

These folks seem mostly happy. Mom seems a bit chagrined, but alas, such is the curse of telepathy. If it makes you happy, go for it. If you have to go along because it makes others happy, that's a choice you have to make.

I don't wanna grow up

2011-11-06T23:00:00.000-05:00

I wonder if Ensign NERD! here still lives at home? 8 Ball says "Signs point to yes". He looks a bit old, but I mean, a Trek costume AND a Teddy Bear? More Frosty Pops Mom!

For real - I never want to get "old". Which I define as a hardening of the mind and spirit. You can be old at a very young age, and many people are. You can be 80 years old and still a child, on the other hand - living life with a sense of awe and wonder. And with the wisdom of age. I think the key is keeping yourself mentally engaged in all aspects of life. And cartoons.

Lt. Commander Bear

2011-11-05T20:46:00.001-04:00

Lt. Commander Bear Log Stardate 11.05.11.1010.11 - Replicated Salmon, again. I don't know how much more of this imitation I can endure. Spent my hour in the Holodeck in a stream, catching simulated salmon. I probably should talk with Troi, but, c'mon! I'm a bear!

Extinction Event, We Are

2011-11-03T21:49:00.000-04:00

The Polar Bear is not long for this world as is - the species will have to adapt, or die. Thus the future we have wrought for the Polar Bear and so many more life forms upon this sweet Earth.

We - Humanity - are a cancer upon this planet, digging and blasting and poisoning and so much more... it's true to: There's a biological extinction event going on right now, with species dying off by the thousands all the time, all because of us.

We are The Destroyers, and woe be upon all other animals in our path.

Why? Bear

2011-11-02T22:14:00.000-04:00

No idea where this came from - make up your own tale. No doubt some crazy desert hippy redneck artist drunk got bored once and blam: Why? Bear. The bear asks a great question though - Why?

I posit this is THE question that defines humanity, as apart from the other animals. It even separates us from each other - the more you explore the question "Why", the more in depth you explore your existence. And that leads to wisdom. Without the "why", or a dearth of it, you are left with a dumb automaton who trudges through life in rote misery.

"How" would be next on the list of questions, another important, defining question, but one we share with many other animals. Birds figure out lots of things, and figuring out "how" is the only way possible.

What, where and when are all spatial questions, and I'd argue everything alive has some grasp of them and their answers.

"Why" is the only question, perhaps, without an answer, since the answer almost always dwells in the subjective. And how can anything subjective be a true answer, so dependent is it on the person answering?

I have two answers to the question "Why", but I can make no claim they are correct.

1. Because life is a chemical reaction that is part of a larger cosmological process of energy transference from the Big Bang.

2. Why not?

Lying to Children

2011-11-01T22:21:00.000-04:00

We fill our children's heads with lie upon lie. Santa. Easter Bunny. Tooth Fairy. Jesus. I could go on. Eventually the kids figure out, and realize they've been lied to all these years, and some degree of disillusionment sets in. How could it not? And thus begins a life long tale of ever increasing disillusionment - we call it "getting old". And of course we then repeat the same lies to our children because, it's tradition. The holidays! Everyone does it....

In this fight, by the way, I'd say the Easter Bunny has a large edge, since he should be able to stab Santa several times in the guts before Claus can bring down the axe. However, how can anyone say they like Easter better than Xmas? It doesn't seem possible.

Don't get me wrong, I loathe Xmas too, but.... presents. Easter's just a collection of subpar candy, like an appetizer to the true candy meal of Halloween, with far less cool costumes (Church clothes?!). That said, if this is a depiction of Spring v. Winter, there's really no debate there either.

So, go Jesus Rabbit!

Inappropriate Seasonal Symbols

2011-10-31T21:44:00.000-04:00

Too much candy! It's a powerful lesson to learn as a child, since perhaps up to the moment of barfing, there is a belief that there can never be too much candy. Oh, how we learn.

I got 15 inches of snow up at New Gondolin! It was amazing/depressing. I've never seen such a display of colors - the reds and yellows and brown fall leaves with green pines and white, white, white everywhere. It looked like Fruity Pebbles in milk. I'm not a fan of winter, but I have to accept it. Maine, and all.

Still, death to all snowmen!

Inappropriate Gifts

2011-10-30T23:17:00.000-04:00

This was a real thing! Blow up sex dolls repurposed as Superman for bed time fun! What a great gift for any kid.

How about a nice candle?

Not sure how you play with Squirt Wrestler. Not my thing.

Choose Cookies.

Jar Jar Binks Tongue Candy

2011-10-29T01:22:00.000-04:00

Literally. I mean, yes, look at it - I believe you were supposed to suck Jar Jar's tongue for Forceful flavor. Or something. Maybe it was a flashlight? I have no idea where I got this photo. Feels like China though.

Lucas Balloon

2011-10-27T23:11:00.000-04:00

And the balloon will only get bigger and bigger till it one day pops.Until then, all hail Lucas, Creator of Star Wars, Fictional Home to Countless Nerds.

Kitty Ali

2011-10-26T22:14:00.002-04:00

Of course the fight (Ali v. Liston) was fixed - could you hit a kitty in the face? Also, this was the only Heavyweight title fight ever held in the state of Maine. Lewiston, if you can believe it! I hardly can.

Living in America HAHA

2011-10-25T22:14:00.000-04:00

Let's tell a story! This guy:

Loved America, clearly. Alas, he fought and died at the hands of this guy:

Grace Jones had nothing to do with this tale - but maybe some other day... Anyways, with Apollo Creed dead, there was only one way for this to go:

Which of course led to:

Yay, America! I don't think it's a co-incidence that soon after Rocky 4 hit the big screen the USSR - realizing their vaunted boxing machine men were no match for American Grit - collapsed and FREEDOM rained across the World.

Rocky liked to fight, as that's who he was. What he did. What made him up. That was the whole point! Like:

Don't remember that, do you? And also:

Clubber Lang. Or his other acting name, Mr. T.. Who looks like this now adays:

I seriously doubt that's a solid gold frying pan. But you never know.... Anyways, the end of my story:

WrestleMania I. It was 1984, and everything was possible - like, the greatest wrestling event of all time. And it was! I don't want to use any hyperbole, but it might have been the greatest event in human history. Check out the wiki - it's like some weird soap opera where instead of romance and a'cheatin', it's men fake fighting.

Yay, America. Ain't FREEDOM grand?

Are you in or are you out?

2011-10-24T21:43:00.000-04:00

The Tribe, that is. The Right one. The correct one. Not those stupid other tribes. You shall know the True Tribe by its colors:

And you shall know the members of the True Tribe by their willingness to wear Her Colors as articles of clothing. Patriots!

Would you consider wearing the American Flag as part of an article of clothing? If you're reading this blog, probably not, you damn hippies! That's why you - we - are not in the True Tribe. And it's true: The more flags you wear, the bigger the Patriot you are:

Have you ever heard of the "Flag Code"? Look it up! All kinds of rules n' shit about the flag, many of which are broken by these "Patriots". It's amusing - their understanding, or lack thereof, of the Flag Code mirrors their understanding of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the founding of America, Democracy, etc.

Freedom, bitches!

It's like an anti-boo shield. Y'all can't boo me! I'm wearing a FLAG!

We write the Book

2011-10-23T23:13:00.000-04:00

History is written by the winners, so they say. And America was winning for a long time - it was a good run. Remember the fun days of the Cold War?

Take that, Communism! But alas! Now we've willingly destroyed the very things that once made us great, and some (Repuglicans) are hell bent on destroying the rest. Propaganda, fear, debt, greed, and pure tribalism is enough to rot an empire within. No foreign enemy necessary.

But it's always good to take out others while we can. Yay, dead dictator! As we're (America, Fuck Yeah!) the ones telling the tale. Others - the various recipients of our tax payer missiles around the world - may disagree.

You are your face

2011-10-20T23:21:00.000-04:00

Note the crybaby face on Jay Cutler - NFL Quarterback. As a starting NFL QB, he is an elite member of the elite, one of few people on earth who can claim such a thing. He's a King of the Jocks, BMOC that is the campus of our society. And yet, the constant crybaby face, and as such, no matter how elite he is, he's an object of mockery, of scorn, of derision and sacks. No one likes him, and it's entirely because of his face. Look at the Ref's face.

The lesson! To most everyone else in this world, you are your face. And not just looks, but how you wear it - always frowning? Always mad? Always eyes darting around and around? This is how the world sees you, and thus judges you, no matter what you truly are. So consider the well the face you show the world, for it is your basic currency.

Speaking of faced:

And another face that says it all:

Poor Skins fans. As a Pats fan, it's been so long since I knew anything but excellence, I can only abstractly imagine your woe.

When we were LOST

2011-10-19T21:54:00.000-04:00

Remember Lost? It was such a wild ride, I really miss it - the ongoing mystery, the crazy theories, the mad twists. Lost was a modern day epic in the old school Greek tradition, and I am super glad I caught it in real time, since speculation was part of the fun. Also, it was all Vincent's dream.

I was - perhaps sadly - still watching Lost every day up until 3 months ago, while I worked out. But alas, Football season started and there was "research" to be done. Seriously! I take Fantasy very seriously. I dedicate most of my spare time from September through December studying football. Sad! And now awesome:

Touchdown, Team Jack.

Bad Dogs

2011-10-18T22:01:00.000-04:00

As often with dogs, the question here is: "Bad (as in the catch all negative applied to many dog actions or behaviors: "Bad Dog!")", or dumb? Or dogs just being dogs and who are we to judge?

See? Could be a punk dog, or just a puppy playing in typical puppy fashion.

Well, the evidence here seems a little more convincing, right? Bad Dog!

Another bad dog, for sure.

I'm a Survivor

2011-10-17T21:53:00.000-04:00

Herewith, I give you the remainder of my Survivor .gif cache:

A clotheslining, by an actual clothesline. Isn't it ironic?

Crystal was a gold medal Olympic winner (some kind of relay race), and yet, was a terrible athlete. It was rather surreal.

Dan was a small man in a very big chair. It was part of an in-show advertisement for Jack Black's "Gulliver's Travels". Which was an instant classic, I hear. I - for truth - enjoy the advertisements in the show, since it's a connection to most other TV game shows. And it's cheezy, and these poor suffering players are amazed by these strange items from a foreign land. Also, there's usually some kind of strategic element to these advertisement segments - winning an expensive car, for example, often would bias the jury against the winner.

Oh yeah. T&A. It's another big factor in the show - for all genders and sexual persuasion. A well proven Survivor maxim: Everyone looks better starving and dirty than fat and covered in makeup and questionable clothes.

Spider dance. Speaking of:

An exploding ball of spiders. Hello!

Two Snakes and an Eel

2011-10-16T23:16:00.000-04:00

I think - hope - this is a snake shedding its old skin for some new duds. It's pretty gross. But an apt example of the awesomeness of the TV show "Survivor". It's not a reality show, though it does share some techniques. Rather, it's a psychological study played for money on worldwide broadcast. These pressures - money, fame, the emotions of living a primitive lifestyle surrounded by other people waiting to get you eliminated from the game - create a real world the game players live in (see: Stanford Prison Experiment). They must eat from the land and sea, sleep outdoors in the elements, endure torturous physical tasks. The players of the game Survivor suffer. For our entertainment!

Also, they show lots of cool nature shots. Like:

I think - hope - this is a snake digesting a meal. Otherwise, no idea. It's disturbing regardless.

Here's an eel barfing. Enjoy!

Lots o' Jaws

2011-10-15T01:34:00.000-04:00

Afraid of snakes? This one IS COMING AT YOU!!! But truly, you are brother/sister with even the snake, who has rudimentary arms and legs in that elongated vertebrate torso. And a mouth, with fangs. All the better to kiss you with...

A Devonian fish, our ancestor, one of many still this far back - 400 million years ago. Consider though, that complex life on Earth is only 600 million years old, and everything older than that was bacteria and the like. We're new on the scene, especially on dry land - 300 million years ago or so, out of an age of the planet of 4.6 billion years old. Only then did the first creatures - ever - explore the land. Amazing, right?

Leading, eventually, inevitably (in hindsight), to us - masters of Photoshop. Witness the deft and now trifling ability to manipulate any digital image into whatever you wish. Tis the power of a God, this 'shopping power...

That's a Hell Bastard, T-Rex, Great White, Hippo (quite dangerous!), and Crocodile. I quibble with the hippo/croc placement.

OMGOSSUM!!!

2011-10-13T22:02:00.000-04:00

Fun fact to know and share: Every animal and fish on this planet - you, me, the birds, the frogs, trout, whales, and even the freaky opossum - is but a modification of the original fish vertebrate that is all our direct ancestor way, way back when - two eyes, two arms, two legs, everything's basically the same, just in different configurations.

Proof enough of evolution, for any doubters, I'd think. But then, no amount of proof is enough for some.

A Study in Fear

2011-10-12T22:35:00.000-04:00

A haunted house in Canada has a Flickr stream where they post photos from the scariest part of the tour. Check it out here. A sample:

These photos capture a sincere moment of primal, instinctive fear, and seeing hundreds of people's reactions is fascinating. Seems like good source material for a body language study of the fear response.

Also, go Diversity!

Fear is the mind killer

2011-10-11T21:21:00.000-04:00

A John Wayne Gacy original, entitled "Goodbye Pogo". Pogo was the name of the clown Gacy played for many years. After he was arrested, he picked up painting while in jail, selling quite well. I don't search the internets for serial killers, honestly, but any search for "Scary clown" will inevitably lead to JWG, or Pogo. Imagine the terror! He's a fascinating specimen of freaky ass psycho killer.

I search for scary clown stuff for you, fellow Redshirts. I DO IT ALL FOR YOU!!! And my own LuLz, of course. But also because it's cool to face your fears whenever possible/safe. Once you can face something, you can overcome it. You need will (to) power. Imagine, the nightmares and real fear felt by this young lad for his entire life:

He looks terrified - he's gone into the submission pose. Think of all the neurosis and psychosis that can lead from one terrifying and bizarre event. I mean, what the heck is up with clowns anyway? Who thinks that shit is funny? Also, that's not Pogo. Neither are these guys.

Have fun at your birthday party kids! We'll be drinking by the pool.

Painting for Peanuts

2011-10-10T23:45:00.000-04:00

Even elephants are terrified of clowns - which makes the circus that much more of a torture. To rid herself of these demons, Tessie here paints. Clowns, always painting clowns.

Casting Couch Slither (Reptillian Version)

2011-10-09T22:42:00.001-04:00

Sexy Lizard 2011, as chosen by Cub Scout troop 125 from Davenport Iowa, thereby earning their "Sexy Lizard" badge.

For a good time call

2011-10-06T22:32:00.000-04:00

Come a little closer babe, let me give ya a kiss.

Smoking Cancer

2011-10-05T23:48:00.000-04:00

Apparently crabs are hardcore smokers. Pack a day at least, 2 on the weekends. Look at this guy - 2 at once! And hoo boy if they get to drikin' and a'partyin'.... chainsmoking crustacean fools. Here's some proof - you can find many more partying crabs on the interwebs:

Sun bathing AND smoking, the summer party classic.

Nothing like the smell of nature and the sweet, smooth scent of tobacco.

Smoking while eating breakfast - starts the day off right.

Disco Chicken is Now 98% Guilt Free

2011-10-04T21:09:00.000-04:00

So Rusty says on Sunday night, whooping it up. But he'll have a different tale to tell Monday at 7:30 in the A.M. Regrets galore.

So dizzy!

Down is Up (Up is Down)

2011-10-03T22:46:00.000-04:00

Look deeply into the ever turning gyre, and soon enough you can't tell if you're going down or up. And so is the very nature of reality - down, up, fast, slow, these are all relative terms. In fact, this is part of Einstein's theories of relativity, which states (in part) that all motion, all direction, is always relative to the observer. There is no other way to define it. Up is up to you, up could be something different to someone else from a different perspective. Another example - right now, every human on this Earth is flying through space at many thousands of miles per hour. Does it seem that way to you? No, because we are so small relative to the size of the Earth that we don't notice the spinning and the hurtling. It's much bigger than us.

And so with that, here's an interpretive graph of a black hole:

In 3 dimensional space (4 dimensional really, but lets not overly complicate things), the black hole sits at the center of a sphere, and towards its two poles matter and energy falls. Now, what happens at this center - the Singularity which is the black hole - no one has any idea what happens. It's all educated guesses and no one feels confident about any of them. I am confident, however, that the black hole is key to our Universe and understanding it will allow us to understand so very much more. Note - I spend a lot of time thinking about black holes, like an itch I can't stop scratching, because something is big there. Something important. How can all that matter and energy get compressed to... nothing? Something's missing. Finding it will unlock the next game level.

I'm not the only one, of course, spending a lot of time thinking about black holes. Cosmology in large part is now focused on them, since, again just for an example, a massive black hole sits at the center of every galaxy, leading one to wonder - is the black hole necessary for galaxies? Are galaxies in fact nothing but the environments created by black holes? It's possible! Black holes could be very, very tiny too - microscopic black holes might exist all around us, popping into existence and popping back out, the quantum fizz in our effervescent existence. As with all things in this reality, the big is reflected in the small, the small in the big, and scientists are finding that water can be used to simulate many of the effects of black holes. Above, the ocean vortex. Imagine another vortex meeting this one from the bottom of the sea, and you have a black hole effect. Many things can be learned by these simulations, one of which is - look at all the water that avoids the vortex (black hole)! Most of it. Ergo, black holes are no single minded monsters of destruction, but rather they are fundamental to our Universe. Take a look at a cross section:

Only a small percentage of the matter and energy drawn towards a black hole actually goes into the black hole. The rest is spun around, heated up, and thus causes rotation on large scales (i.e. galaxies spinning) and create stars upon stars upon stars - the first star, perhaps, was birthed by a black hole.

So, shed any old notions you might have had about big bad evil black holes. They are, in fact (theory!), the very engines of our Creation, and the greatest mystery that exists today.

Solve the Singularity!

Light Cone Laffs

2011-10-01T23:31:00.000-04:00

I must confess: I love light cones! They appear so simple, but what they represent is stupendously complex. Just for one example - these cones represent causality. What happens within the cone can have a causal relationship with the object of the light cone (remember, everything has a light cone, or, a sphere of influence), both past and future. Something outside the cone has no direct causal connection.

The past is defined as that which causally impacted the now, and the future is defined as that which can be causally impacted by now. "Now" is an ever moving center of these two cones at which point space/time is manifested on a flat plane we call existence. This plane influences the object of the light cone, causing it to move this way or that - the red squiggly line, or "wordline" in the drawing at top. These squiggles represent movement, and - dig this - graphically represent time travel, in that any deviation from a straight line is a deviation from "light" time, and thus a time traveler (future or past). This time deviation is Einstein's General Theory of Relativity, which states that time is relative to the motion of the observer (in part). The famous example used to illustrate this effect is if you were to blast off in a space ship going close to the speed of light, a year for you on board the craft might be 100 years to the folks left back on Earth. For both of you, time would seem normal, but when you returned to Earth, you'd find everything you know long gone even if you were away for but a few years. Time travel!

OK! Now for some laffs:

Get it?

Everything is funny when presented on a hipster faux trucking cap.

The Shape of Things

2011-09-29T22:28:00.000-04:00

This is the Hubble Ultra Deep Field, a picture taken over 7 days of a spot in the sky smaller than your pinky. Every object here is a galaxy, some over 11 billion light years away. Since it takes light a certain distance to travel to your eye (or the telescope), whatever you see is in the past. 11 billion light years means 11 billion years ago. Here:

And here's a similar graph for the awesome WMAP satellite:

As you can see, the CMBR pic in the previous post is from very early on in the Universe - before stars, before light could spread freely. The Dark Ages was the era of heavy, swirling clouds of gas so thick light could not escape, and blackness was upon everything. But one day a star was born and the darkness was broken.

With every ray of light, with every act, with every Big Bang, you can think of the existence of this thing as a cone, with a past, present, and future. Witness:

The cones are light, past and future; the red arrow moving through it is an electron, or a star, or you, anything that exists. Since there is one cone we are all contained within - the Big Bang. And we are but red lines squiggling along, all doing the best we can.

As big (small) as it gets

2011-09-28T23:43:00.000-04:00

This is a survey of galaxies spanning billions and billions of light years. There's a lot of them. You can see strands and groupings of galaxies in filament like structures - the dark band across the center is our own galaxy's light blotted out, since it's so bright.

This is our Universe, and our entire galaxy is but a tiny dot in a great matrix of galaxies. But these galaxies and great strands of galaxies had a precursor, which was a mere ripple in the energy of the Big Bang. The Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation:

This is two sides of the same image. The red represents slightly warmer, and the blue represents slightly cooler, but these colors are arbitrary. What this actual image shows is the difference in radiation frequency soon after the Big Bang, and it was the colder areas that formed the first galaxies of massive clouds of hydrogen, and soon after the first stars, which led to the others and ultimately our existence. This difference in frequency led to the pattern of galaxies shown above.

What will really twist your mind is this image of the CMBR is from when the entire Universe was damn small. And if you extrapolate back to when the entire Universe was smaller still, it becomes microscopic, atomic, subatomic, smaller than an electron. And thus this difference in frequency stems from the start when the whole of our reality was smaller than a Quark.

We come from this subatomic moment - the very parts that make us up were there. We are the Universe, man, and are as big and as small as we want to see it.

This World is Now Ours

2011-09-27T21:34:00.000-04:00

This is a compilation of all tropical storms over a year. Neat, huh? Note the remarkably quiet continent of South America - what's up with that? Eastern Africa is also incredibly calm, whereas look at Wastern Mexico - BAM! Must be that El Nino dude.

These are the Andaman Islands, one of which is - and has been for a long, long, long time - the home of the Sentinelese. The Tsunami of 04 went through here, but no one knows what it did or didn't do to the Sentinelese. They remain a mystery. From the satellite image above, it looks like they get a lot of big storms - I bet they survived in large numbers, if it were possible, due to their no doubt higher sensitivity to their environment. Uncle t-Thuk'ik-rytyr always knows when a storm is coming. Or a big wave - the birds, man. You got to read the birds. When they start freaking out, or not freaking out, you know something's up - head for high ground.

A Tale of Two Times

2011-09-26T22:45:00.000-04:00

These are the so called "Sentinelese" people - they surely call themselves something else. No one knows, as there's been no long lasting encounters, since the Sentinelese are extremely aggressive towards any intruders. With good reason, perhaps.

They live in a stone age culture, with no made metal tools (there are found metal tools), no agriculture, no tech other than rocks and jungle. Check out their wiki. It's so cool when you consider it, since they are living much like all people lived some 20 to 25,000 years ago, before the city, before the fortress, before organized much of anything. Most of human history lies during this long era. This is where we evolved.

We - the people on the boats off the shore, taking pictures and trying to make contact (now - imagine back in ye olde days of raping and pillaging) - must be so strange and alien to these people. I wonder what they call us - do they even think we are people, or some strange aliens/gods?

But the Sentinelese are already doubtlessly spoiled from their long Stone Age innocence, since they've seen our boats, discovered our trash, seen our planes flying high and not so high overhead. It seems only a matter of time before all the so called "uncontacted" peoples are contacted, since we - modern man - are a scourge upon this poor planet and won't stop till we've burned it all up.

Stay strong Sentinelese!

Indian Summer (Winter is coming)

2011-09-25T23:22:00.000-04:00

Indian Summer is defined in Maine as any warm day past September 1st. Why it's called "Indian" is not for the curry. It's easy to forget, in the Summer, that Maine is cold, and way up North. And kinda weird. But boy, in the Summer - it can be perfection. I had the BEST Summer in quite some time, due to the fully operational New Gondolin. Take a look -

Due Northwest. That's my favorite corner.

From the great wall of Redshirt, newly constructed. It was amazing to see the change in the wall and the leaves this past week - from nothing to full on. Some change I like, other change I'm not so keen on. I'm going to miss the Summer and I know I've forgotten: Winter is coming:

Brrr!

Fall, Again

2011-09-23T01:24:00.000-04:00

Fall's back. Yay. Sure, there's some nice days and all, but I think it's a big bummer. You witness the Sun sinking from the sky, setting earlier and earlier every day. The leaves come out and party for a bit, than shrivel up and die, leaving behind a dull dreary bleakness that is broken only by rushes of blood to the head. Bah! Fall is my 3rd least favorite season, and I challenge anyone to place it higher. Over Spring? Over Summer? Don't think so. Winter need not be discussed.

But it's an Equinox, so it must be celebrated - the seasons are astronomical in origin, both in source and in measurement - Fall is when the Earth is at a precise spot. Here:

You'll note, perhaps ironically, that the Earth is noticeably closer to the Sun in Northern Winter than in Summer, yet Winter is cold as Hell. Why is this?! Axial tilt, dude. It's 23 degrees. Take a look:

You see how in the Winter, Earth's Northern Hemisphere is facing away from the Sun in January (Sun on the left side), whereas it is pointing towards the Sun in July (Sun on the right side) - that is a far more important factor in heating than distance to the Sun. I presume this means that the Southern hemisphere gets hotter Summers, since they are facing the Sun and closer. Thus, perhaps, the Rainforests around the world at that latitude.

Anyways, you should celebrate each Season, since they are very much the markings of the clock on our lives - round and round we go. Holidays are important as breaks in the everyday, a moment where the real world can be left behind a bit. Ceremony is important. Remembering why we're here and where we're going is important. It's all important.

Enjoy!

Indian Fall.